finding more rooted community in DC

November 9, 2009 8:21 AM

I've been in DC for a few years. In many ways, this can be a really transient city. Since I'm here for the long-haul for work, I'm interested in meeting people who don't see DC as a pit stop, and aren't going to move again in a few years.

I'm in my late 20s and live inside the Beltway (not in a far out suburb or anything). I don't have trouble meeting people casually or through groups, but so many people I meet are only here (or plan to be here) for a short time before they uproot. While I've made great friends who I keep in touch with post-departure, I'd like to make more grounded, long-term connections.

Suggestions from DC mefites? What things have you done here that have led to more consistent community? (church brings itself to mind, among other things).

This question is anonymous simply cause I am a little embarassed to ask it!

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (11 answers total)

A similar question was asked previously.

This is the wrong season, but if you like gardening try your local community garden.
posted by exogenous at 8:31 AM on November 9, 2009

It's sort of a self-correcting problem. The longer you stay, the stronger your ties with other "lifers."

I think any sort of community-centered volunteer group would be a good place to start.
posted by JoanArkham at 8:39 AM on November 9, 2009

I agree with JoanArkham. It took me three years to find a group of "lifers," and I sort of lucked into them - one of my roommates is a DC native. If you can find one of those, you'll be golden, since they've had friends for ages.

Church will help, volunteering will help (I don't know what denomination you are, but my Unitarian church on 16th St - All Souls - has a great community and a burgeoning young people population). I know a lot of people (myself included) who took improv/stand-up classes at the DC Improv and made some new, funny friends.

A disproportionate number of DC "lifers," in my experience, are in the service industry...your waiter, waitress, and bartender tend to be in it for the long haul, for some reason.

Also, kickball/softball/any other sort of intramural sport is a guaranteed way to meet people and then drink with them.
posted by harperpitt at 8:44 AM on November 9, 2009

Some people move away from here. You just keep on going until you have a set of semi-regulars. That's what happened to me.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:48 AM on November 9, 2009

I'll probably be here for a bit, so if you're in the Columbia Heights area anytime, let me know.

I get the same feeling from a bunch of my friends, basically because a lot of people see it as a jumping-off point (politics and media = areas where unpaid internships in major cities are standard fare before real careers).

Some things that people do around here where you might find commonalities:

• Casey Trees has tons of 'citizen foresters' who tend to be really nice people.
• If you play music, Spelling for Bees hosts a pretty cool show every first tuesday of the month at DC9
• There are meetups for everything here, but they vary from cool folks to... uhm, well, I'm a web developer and sometimes even I'm overgeeked.

That said, I haven't cracked the puzzle yet - cities present such a paradox of connections.
posted by tmcw at 8:56 AM on November 9, 2009

I'm having trouble writing this in a way that doesn't sound snarky and I really don't mean any disrespect, but one (among others) way to find community in DC is to move to Baltimore and take the train.

That said, I really like the community garden/forestry idea. I also met some really interesting (and invested) people when I moved to a new city by volunteering on a local design review board. I'm an architectural historian so that was an easy one, but maybe there's some place for your expertise in your local government or community organization?
posted by GodricVT at 9:10 AM on November 9, 2009

Ooooh, I'm sort of in the same boat! My husband (Bulgaroktonos on Metafilter) and I aren't from DC and we aren't very social so it's hard to meet people.

You should come to the DC meetups; everyone tends to be friendly and there are a fair number of people in similar situations. Also, if you want, MeFi Mail me and we can, I don't know, get coffee or something? I'm not not really sure what people do when they hang out but I would like more friends so I promise I won't make fun of you (trust me you are not more socially awkward than I am). Good luck!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:35 AM on November 9, 2009

I've gone on about Contradancing before at length, so I won't do it here again, but there is a huge community that dances at Glen Echo, twice weekly. People who like to dance will travel to do so, so you'll see the same faces over and over again at all the local dances.
posted by jvilter at 12:10 PM on November 9, 2009

You could get involved in your neighborhood. Start going to ANC meetings or community meetings when DDOT or other city agencies throw one to introduce their proposals. You could become an orange hat. Volunteer at a farmers market. Church is definitely a good answer (if you're into that sort of thing).
posted by Pollomacho at 1:36 PM on November 9, 2009

Some of it is luck. I'd generally suggest joining groups that are

I can't say that I am in DC for a lifetime, but I am definitely here for the next few years, as are most of my friends. I found my friends by accidentally starting a boardgaming group, and while the membership is around 200, we have a group of 30-40 that come to game nights, and a smaller core of 15 who regularly come to game nights. They've become some of my best friends, and we meet up and do all sorts of things unrelated to gaming. This past weekend, a bunch of us had a bacon party, and I had my first taste of a bacon explosion.

Now for a bit of self-linking. You can check us out at DC Game Night which will redirect to our FaceBook page, or our Livejournal page. We meet at least once a week (sometimes more) at metro-accessible locations in the DC Metro area (which sometimes means the suburbs, I live in Silver Spring). Even if you're not interested in boardgames and card games, I'd say stop by. We're an easy going group and always willing to teach games to newbies. In fact, we're meeting tonight at SoHo Tea and Coffee in Dupont.
posted by X-Himy at 9:37 AM on November 10, 2009

It is hard to meet people here. Most stick to their routine, usually a combination of work and one other place (gym/club/whatever), and never are exposed to new people. Another factor is that for a lot of people in the politics game, work is their life. I've been working trying to meet more people for awhile and still haven't figured it out. I'm shy at first so one encounter with a person won't work for me.

I've gone through orientation with Greater DC Cares which provides volunteer opportunities with a large number of community organizations. There's meetup.com. WARNING: If you're female and vaguely pretty, posting a picture will result in propositions from strange men. Also, you have to get up the courage to actually go to an event. Yelp has a community feel too, with a lot of events. As others have said, a religious group would be a great place to meet people, if it's your thing. I've been to Unitarian services in other places before so I'm going to check out All Souls this weekend. Harperpitt, perhaps I'll see you there.

I hope you've found something since you posted. If you've found the secret let us know.

I'm 22, live in NE DC and plan on staying. If you'd like to meet up let me know.
posted by dcduchess at 8:38 PM on December 11, 2009