How to best set up/arrange a date with a man on the phone?
September 16, 2009 9:31 AM   Subscribe

How to best set up/arrange a first date with a man on the phone?

I have been asked out for a guy a week ago, today he sent by email his phone number to arrange details for tomorrow meeting up, I said I will call this evening.
English is not my first language althought I can communicate at kind of advance level I don't know what would be appropiate to say, or how to word the conversation and ending it .

I don't want to talk too long ,to keep the interest before the encounter but how long? what to say? the event starts at 7:00 pm would be good idea to say to meet up just half an hour before to have a chat? or just on , there will be a 25 min interval , not too sure if we will have time to eat, but I am unsure how best set this up as I was the one with the idea to go to that concert.. he kindly bought the most expensive tikets .. ( just cheked out and there are not refundable !) beside I woke up feeling a bit unwell today as for onset of sore throat/ and burning stomach , would it be good idea to mention it in case tomorrow I dont feel as great to talk? if so how should I word it ??

I've heard the worse is to mention any health problems on first dates .. Any ideas please?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (5 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Do some research before hand and find a coffee shop or bar near the concert venue. Tell him, "Hey, perhaps we should meet at 6:30 at Coffee Shop X. Sound good? Great, I am looking forward to it -- see you then!"

Then, when you are there, and he asks how you are doing/feeling -- likely at the beginning of the conversation -- feel free to say you are doing just fine, but you are getting over a recent cold/sickness. Don't go into details, and move on.
posted by nitsuj at 9:46 AM on September 16, 2009

A little sore throat is a small thing - it's okay to tell him - really, it is a good idea, so if you do not have a good time on the date, you can say you aren't feeling well.

When they say not to mention health problems on first dates, they mean very serious health problems.

Twenty minutes is a good time for a casual phone conversation, perhaps even shorter. When you want to end the conversation, just tell him you "need to go now".
posted by Xoebe at 9:50 AM on September 16, 2009

I wouldn't mention that you are ill on the telephone unless you think that you are so ill that you have to cancel the date. I like the idea of casually telling him you are getting over a cold when you meet him face to face.

Most concert halls have bartenders/concession.

When you call, you can say:

Hello ________, this is _______. How are you? How does 6:30 in the lobby sound? We could have a glass of wine and chat before we go in.

He will probably agree that this is a splendid idea or suggest another idea, perhaps drinks at a nearby establishment. He may suggest to meet up earlier in the evening, which might give you more time to get to know one another before you sit silently watching a concert.

Wrap up the conversation by telling him you are looking forward to the event and looking forward to meeting him.

Good luck.
posted by Fairchild at 9:54 AM on September 16, 2009

I would say that a twenty minute phone call might seem like an eternity. If you've managed to make all the plans necessary in five minutes, and are at a loss for what to say next, feel free to end the conversation. As other posters have said, it's as easy as saying "So, I really look forward to meeting you! I should probably get going."

I agree that you could wait till the date itself to share the info about your cold.

Have fun!
posted by freem at 10:20 AM on September 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

Oh, thank you so so much to all of you, your advice is the REAl HELP!!!!!! i will follow the advice given.

Love to you all.

posted by zulo at 12:27 PM on September 16, 2009

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