Best (dinner) food for a LOTR Marathon?
December 14, 2004 12:25 AM   Subscribe

LOTR Marathon and Dinner. Suggestions for food? [MI]

A good friend of mine knows for a fact that he's getting the extended ROTK for Christmas. This is what we Martha fans call A Good Thing. He also owns FOTR and TTT extended editions. Accordingly, when he's back from his holidays, we're going to throw away a day of our lives (seriously, we're talking about 12+ hours of movies here!) watching all three movies, back-to-back-to-back.

What I need is food suggestions. It'll just be the two of us, but he's a really close friend, so I really don't mind going a little crazy in the kitchen. The only suggestion for LOTR-themed food he could come up with was mutton and ale, which I suspect I'll translate into a dinner of lamb (of some description; a whole leg would be a bit much) braised in some sort of delicious beer over a nice long slow heat, quite possibly served on some sort of trencher-like bread product. My usual kitchen-fu has failed me. Suggestions, anyone?

The first person who says 'onion rings' gets a day playing with an angry Oliphaunt.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy to Food & Drink (24 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Oh, forgot to mention... the more (and varied) the ideas, the better. I'm going to need a whole days' worth of food.

oh god I'm a geek somebody shoot me now
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:26 AM on December 14, 2004

posted by mono blanco at 12:29 AM on December 14, 2004

Ooh, brilliant!

Those look like they'd be lovely fresh off the griddle, drenched in butter, and slathered with good jam. (And given that I live within spitting distance of approximately 364978 Polish delis and bakeries, good jam is easy to find.)

Thank you!
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:33 AM on December 14, 2004

Here are a few recipies that might be interesting.

(It's amazing what a search for "boiled dwarf" can do)
posted by sebas at 12:36 AM on December 14, 2004

Start off the meal with some sort of crackers or tortillas to substitute for Lembas bread. Have stewed rabbit (er, a brace of conies) for a main dish if you want to get really fancy-schmancy. Side dish of po-ta-toes, obviously! And a side dish of (a shortcut to...) mushrooms--sauteed in garlic and olive oil would be yummy and really easy to prepare.

And don't the Hobbits cook bacon and/or tomatoes or something during the first book, which is how their fire gets seen by the Nazgul?

As for refreshments, have lots of types of ale and beer to drink. (Pipe)weed while you're sitting through FOTR would be fun; you'll be sobered up by ROTK.

By the way, my friends and I are doing the exact same thing on Saturday, only I plan on making brisket, which has no relation to the films/books AFAIK, but it takes a long time to slowly cook and smells great and thus is perfect.
posted by Asparagirl at 12:37 AM on December 14, 2004

To get through all three with your minds intact, you'll need something that comes in pints (JPG link).
posted by j.edwards at 12:38 AM on December 14, 2004

Seed cakes.
posted by melissa may at 12:44 AM on December 14, 2004

Heh, while the pipeweed would be fun...

1) No, trust me, I wouldn't be sobered up by ROTK. See, sobering up is why you smoke more...

2) My friend doesn't indulge, and I've drastically cut down anyway. It'll likely just be beer for us, and possibly a bottle of mead for after dinner, to toast the victorious armies.

I think the beer will have to be a selection. Something nice and light earlier in the marathon, and gradually shift to heartier beers as the night wears on. Being on a quest like this, well, one requires strength!

On preview: Oh yes, those seed cakes would be lovely for a midmorning snack, I think.

Hmm.. bacon for breakfast seems appropriate, and I have a fabulous (selflink) recipe for mushrooms. Perhaps instead of lunch, a high tea with lembas instead of scones would be good. I think the brace of conies would be a bit much... as much as I love to cook, I find whole rabbits somewhat... challenging to deal with. Not to mention bruisingly expensive.

Of course, we're going to eat like Hobbits. Breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, supper, dinner... well, on second thought (he says, patting his recently more-than-ample waistline), perhaps not quite like Hobbits. Probably just Hobbit-on-a-diet: brekkie, elevenses, late-ish lunch, afternoon tea, dinner.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:51 AM on December 14, 2004

Oh, Ent-draught! Will need some of that, for sure.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:54 AM on December 14, 2004

Deep-fried hobbit. (Dark meat is tasty...but...oh, the carbs!)
posted by red cell at 1:56 AM on December 14, 2004

I don't know about the lembas... One mouthful and everyone's done eating for the day.
posted by tomble at 2:58 AM on December 14, 2004

Turkey drumsticks.
posted by adampsyche at 5:23 AM on December 14, 2004

Other alternatives - sushi (fishiesss!) - and cold chicken and tomatoes to be eaten a la Denethor.

This person did a whole Tolkien feast but apparently she can't read. Her lembas are sweet and fried and the entdraught glows green. But she's hawking a Middle Earth cookbook and will probably soon be a gazillionaire so what do I know?
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:48 AM on December 14, 2004

posted by emptybowl at 6:18 AM on December 14, 2004

Mushrooms -- the movies may not mention it, but they're a particular favorite of all hobbits.
posted by redfoxtail at 6:54 AM on December 14, 2004

The farmer's wife serves up a "mighty dish of mushrooms and bacon" so there's that. Tolkien was not a gourmet (specifically, not a fan of the French) so he seems to have abstained from trying to describe dinners in places more elegant than the Shire.

Would the Rohirrim have eaten horsemeat, or would it have been taboo to them?
posted by zadcat at 7:32 AM on December 14, 2004

I suspect that the Rohirrim would have rather chewed off their own legs than slaughter and eat a horse.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:51 AM on December 14, 2004

If you don't serve sashimi during the "fresh fish" scenes (the recap of Bilbo getting the ring, meeting Faramir), you've missed the boat, in my opinion.
posted by bonehead at 9:01 AM on December 14, 2004

posted by crunchland at 9:04 AM on December 14, 2004

My own feeling here is that the best path when it's just a friend - rather than someone you're specifically trying to woo - is not to deny your geekdom but rather to revel, even wallow in it. My wife and I, both geeks, will be doing this when we get our copies.

Put out a spread that would make any stoner weep big THC-flavored tears - Munchies, Jax, Pringles, Sourdough pretzels and those little Handisnack things. A large order of hotwings or chinese takeout, maybe some stuffed-crust pizza. Go nuts and indulge yourself because you're already doing that with the movies - you might as well complete the experience with your palate, too. Set fun goals for yourself like trying to get your sodium intake to 5000% of the USRDA, etc. Enjoy!
posted by Ryvar at 9:42 AM on December 14, 2004

mono blanco, you are a genious. I am attending a LOTR marathon this Sunday and I just requested Lembas bread for the part.

woo! geeks unite!
posted by freudianslipper at 10:00 AM on December 14, 2004

I say go for the raw, still-wriggling fish. Gollum represent! \m/
posted by frenetic at 10:26 AM on December 14, 2004

Ah, Ryvar... even if it were someone I were trying to woo, I'd revel in the geekdom. If they can't handle the geekness, there'd not be much point in dating them, y'see :)
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:29 PM on December 14, 2004

for the record...I did make Lembas bread from that recipe on It was pretty good. We used a pizzelle iron but it was nothing like pizzelles (an italian cookie; my family makes them all the time).

this was different. Although I was still a bit hungry it wasn't really an authentic elven treat.
posted by freudianslipper at 8:44 PM on December 20, 2004

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