Evaluating roommates!
August 5, 2009 9:57 AM Subscribe
RoommateFilter: I'm in my fourth year of university and I'm going to be getting back on campus in the spring after taking a year off. What kind of questions should I ask potential roommates at apartments I look at?
What are your party/study habits?
Are you open to sharing food and meals? Either way, clarify how dishes get done.
How clean do you want/need the shared space?
Any pet peeves?
What kinds of music do you (not) like?
How do you feel about friends staying over?
Also, make sure you provide your habits and patterns, so it's not a one-way interrogation. Maybe start of with something about yourself, because some people might not want to make themselves out to be an annoying room-mate (or not realize that their habits clash with yours).
posted by filthy light thief at 10:05 AM on August 5, 2009
Are you open to sharing food and meals? Either way, clarify how dishes get done.
How clean do you want/need the shared space?
Any pet peeves?
What kinds of music do you (not) like?
How do you feel about friends staying over?
Also, make sure you provide your habits and patterns, so it's not a one-way interrogation. Maybe start of with something about yourself, because some people might not want to make themselves out to be an annoying room-mate (or not realize that their habits clash with yours).
posted by filthy light thief at 10:05 AM on August 5, 2009
What's your stance on overnight guests? (How often/how long, where do they stay, and is it different for out-of-town people, significant others and booty calls?)
What's your standard level of cleanliness? How do you divide cleaning responsibilities?
How do you feel about sharing with roommates (food, clothes, belongings, cars, etc)?
Are your parents helicopter parents?
Can you tell me about a conflict you had with a previous roommate, and what happened?
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 10:05 AM on August 5, 2009
What's your standard level of cleanliness? How do you divide cleaning responsibilities?
How do you feel about sharing with roommates (food, clothes, belongings, cars, etc)?
Are your parents helicopter parents?
Can you tell me about a conflict you had with a previous roommate, and what happened?
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 10:05 AM on August 5, 2009
A possibly touchy one: are you paying for the rent and utilities yourself, or are you getting help from parents? Financial stuff can get tricky, especially if people are working to pay their bills and they come up short.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:06 AM on August 5, 2009
posted by filthy light thief at 10:06 AM on August 5, 2009
OK, off the top of my head:
- Have you lived with people before
- How do you feel about significant others staying over
- How do you feel about overnight guests (e.g. friends, couchsurfers)
- Do you like to have parties, how big and how often
- Do you like sharing food or keeping everything yourself
- Describe your level of cleanliness
- Do you watch a lot of TV or movies or play video games or play music / do you prefer a quiet house
- Will you be working a lot from home
- Are your work/sleep schedules compatible
- Alcohol / tobacco / drug policies - OK in the apartment? OK at all?
- Anyone have a car, is there enough parking for everyone
There are no right answers to these questions, it's all a question of compatibility.
posted by PercussivePaul at 10:08 AM on August 5, 2009
- Have you lived with people before
- How do you feel about significant others staying over
- How do you feel about overnight guests (e.g. friends, couchsurfers)
- Do you like to have parties, how big and how often
- Do you like sharing food or keeping everything yourself
- Describe your level of cleanliness
- Do you watch a lot of TV or movies or play video games or play music / do you prefer a quiet house
- Will you be working a lot from home
- Are your work/sleep schedules compatible
- Alcohol / tobacco / drug policies - OK in the apartment? OK at all?
- Anyone have a car, is there enough parking for everyone
There are no right answers to these questions, it's all a question of compatibility.
posted by PercussivePaul at 10:08 AM on August 5, 2009
everything especially questions about noise & sleep, acceptable levels of cleanliness, sharing of food and things, bill paying plans and 'Can my honey sleep over?' You'd be amazed at what needs to be clarified, in writing if at all possible. I once had a roommate think it was okay to surprise bring home a baby pitbull... and another thought she shouldn't have to wash silverware.
posted by debbie_ann at 10:16 AM on August 5, 2009
posted by debbie_ann at 10:16 AM on August 5, 2009
Response by poster: I should add that I've looked at places that have questionnaires and such, but the hive mind can tell me things that most sites might omit.
posted by kldickson at 10:40 AM on August 5, 2009
posted by kldickson at 10:40 AM on August 5, 2009
How are you doing internet use? Do you use high bandwidth applications?
Do you want a television in a public space? How does cable work? How do you decide who gets the tv? How about video games on the tv?
If you share a landline, what are the rules about long calls?
Do we share cooking appliances? Do we share foods? How do we do shared items like toilet paper (make sure your roommate agrees not to cheap out on this if you care at all) and cleaning products?
What are your animal policies? Guests staying over in private spaces? Guests staying over in public spaces? SOs staying over?
Do you plan in advance (parties, especially) or not?
posted by jeather at 11:05 AM on August 5, 2009
Do you want a television in a public space? How does cable work? How do you decide who gets the tv? How about video games on the tv?
If you share a landline, what are the rules about long calls?
Do we share cooking appliances? Do we share foods? How do we do shared items like toilet paper (make sure your roommate agrees not to cheap out on this if you care at all) and cleaning products?
What are your animal policies? Guests staying over in private spaces? Guests staying over in public spaces? SOs staying over?
Do you plan in advance (parties, especially) or not?
posted by jeather at 11:05 AM on August 5, 2009
Seconding Cable, my most recent roommate was SHOCKED when she moved in and there was no cable, then she pouted about it for two months. Also how separate do things have to be, I lived with someone who felt it was important that she have her own trash can in the kitchen and I've lived with someone who I basically split everything with.
posted by magnetsphere at 11:06 AM on August 5, 2009
posted by magnetsphere at 11:06 AM on August 5, 2009
Here's a vaguer, but potentially useful question - are you hoping to become friends with your roommate, or just friendly?
Some people want a roommate they can really bond with - they don't like living in a house with a stranger, even if said stranger washes their dishes and isn't too loud at night. I know for me I'm happier when I'm living with someone who I can rely on emotionally - someone I can complain to if my day was shitty or eat Ben & Jerry's with if I'm going through a break-up. Other people prefer their privacy, and just hope that they and their roommate get along. It's good to be on the same page about that.
posted by shaun uh at 11:13 AM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
Some people want a roommate they can really bond with - they don't like living in a house with a stranger, even if said stranger washes their dishes and isn't too loud at night. I know for me I'm happier when I'm living with someone who I can rely on emotionally - someone I can complain to if my day was shitty or eat Ben & Jerry's with if I'm going through a break-up. Other people prefer their privacy, and just hope that they and their roommate get along. It's good to be on the same page about that.
posted by shaun uh at 11:13 AM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
Do you have pets?
What are your typical waking hours?
What kind of music do you like?
Do you use headphones? (See above question)
Do you do any drugs?
How do we split the kitchen?
Do you have a -reliable- car?
Are you passionate about politics?
Are our general moral frameworks compatible?
What is your major?
If both of you drink, how much do you share your alcohol and costs of alcohol?
Do you own a gun? If so, how do you store it?
You don't want to be busted for somebody else's pot, listen to terrible music, or be woken up at 5 am on finals week to drive your roomie to work across town. I also suggest rooming with someone who has a different major in order to prevent one side from asking the other too much about how to handle certain classes.
More importantly, talk for a few minutes before asking anything. Much easier to get answers when you're both at ease, and it gives you time to filter out people you simply won't get along with regardless of details.
posted by Saydur at 11:15 AM on August 5, 2009
What are your typical waking hours?
What kind of music do you like?
Do you use headphones? (See above question)
Do you do any drugs?
How do we split the kitchen?
Do you have a -reliable- car?
Are you passionate about politics?
Are our general moral frameworks compatible?
What is your major?
If both of you drink, how much do you share your alcohol and costs of alcohol?
Do you own a gun? If so, how do you store it?
You don't want to be busted for somebody else's pot, listen to terrible music, or be woken up at 5 am on finals week to drive your roomie to work across town. I also suggest rooming with someone who has a different major in order to prevent one side from asking the other too much about how to handle certain classes.
More importantly, talk for a few minutes before asking anything. Much easier to get answers when you're both at ease, and it gives you time to filter out people you simply won't get along with regardless of details.
posted by Saydur at 11:15 AM on August 5, 2009
Interesting questionnaire. But you know what- you can ask all the questions you want and still find that the person is not what you thought they'd be, especially on cleanliness issues. Perhaps you could check with a common friend or such? You'll probably get more reliable and real information. One critical aspect in my opinion is the kind of degree program you both are in. For instance, if you are both in a rigorous doctoral program, both of you will have less time and energy for friction and drama. This is especially important if you are close to graduation.
posted by xm at 10:12 PM on August 6, 2009
posted by xm at 10:12 PM on August 6, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Phire at 10:02 AM on August 5, 2009