Bridal shower gift?
July 30, 2009 12:48 PM   Subscribe

What should I send in absentia to my boyfriend's sister-in-law-to-be's shower?

Boyfriend's brother is getting married, and I am unable to attend the out of town bridal shower for his fiance. I thought it would be kind of classy and nice to send a gift.

I have never been to a shower. What would be something good to send? Should I definitely send something off the registry, to reduce the number of unwanted random gifts? Something more in the just-for-her vein? Something fun and consumable? Nothing along the lines of "sexy, possibly silly, lingerie for your deflowering!" because, yeah, boyfriend's GRANDMA will be there!

She is 24, I don't know her terribly well although we have hung out a number of times, we all live in Boston. So, I have thought about a gift certificate to a fun specialty grocer near us, or a restaurant, or something, but then she'll know exactly what I spent? Thanks!
posted by teragram to Human Relations (8 answers total)
 
Assuming she's registered somewhere, just buy something off the registry.
posted by amro at 12:55 PM on July 30, 2009


People send checks and give cash in the cards at weddings. I don't see why you couldn't give a gift certificate. I can't think of anyone who would be like 'Oh my god they only spent X amount of dollars on a present for great ol' me!'

On the contrary, I would think if you got her a certificate to some lesser known place that she's into she'd think it was great you put thought into it.

Especially because you guys are more acquaintances and not friends. And this isn't YOUR brother getting married. It's your boyfriend. Not even like fiance's brother. See what I mean? LOL I'd be half tempted to skip the whole thing.

But since you're obviously trying to be nice and classy -- you're headed in the right direction.

Anything you get her will be great. A sure pleaser? Something off the registry. But if you can nail down something that she will really enjoy as per an individual interest (you mentioned a speciality grocer -- is she a foodie? etc) then you will probably score bonus points!

Have fun.
posted by mittenbex at 12:58 PM on July 30, 2009


One thing I do with gifts I get off registries, to make them feel a little more "personal," is to pick something off the registry and then get something small that would go with the item I picked out. For my sister-in-law, for example, I got the French Press coffee maker that she had on the registry -- and I tucked a couple pounds of foofy fancy coffee into the box along with it. For another shower, I got the wok they had on the registry, and then I went to a Chinatown shop and got a couple sets of nice chopsticks and a set of bamboo cookware. Neither the chopsticks and cookware nor the coffee were expensive, and they jazzed up the coffeemaker/wok and made it feel a little more "festive."

Try that -- see if there's something small on the registry that lends itself well to having an "extra" tucked into it and put it all in the same box.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:37 PM on July 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


For the bridal showers I've been attending I've been picking something off of the registry, then putting a little bit more thought / effort / creativity into the wedding present, but that may be because I think bridal showers are a little silly.

As for worrying about gift certificates and knowing what you've spent: if they've registered for the gifts themselves, they have a good idea of what those cost, too.
posted by alynnk at 1:41 PM on July 30, 2009


I was going to write something exactly along the lines of what EmpressCallipygos wrote. Get something from the registry and make the overall gift more personal, sentimental. Theoretically this is a person you may be seeing for the rest of your life, so it would be nice to get things going on a good foot.
posted by tommccabe at 1:46 PM on July 30, 2009


I'll echo what EmpressCallipygos et al have said. As another example, for a recent shower, I gave the champagne bucket off her registry and a bottle to go along with it.
posted by pised at 4:17 PM on July 30, 2009


I've done similar things. I've gotten a friend a waffle iron with a 1940's How to be a Good Wife guide off ebay.
posted by Sophie1 at 4:23 PM on July 30, 2009


Sorry for the late follow up, but I did end up getting her a gift certificate to a local shop that I know she'd enjoy. Love the idea of a registry gift paired with something related and slightly more fun, I will definitely be doing that lots in the future. Many thanks!
posted by teragram at 1:54 PM on August 24, 2009


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