Tell me how you met your gay partner

December 11, 2004 9:59 AM

Gay men in relationships: how did you meet your significant others?
posted by adrober to Human Relations (14 answers total)

I started a group for g/l/b grad students at my university, and a couple of weeks later, he showed up to one of our meetings (in a pub). We hit it off instantly, and that was more than 6 years ago.
posted by stonerose at 10:05 AM on December 11, 2004

I met my boyfriend on teh internets. Through a music mailing list. But our courtship (?!) occurred in the Actual Physical World since he lived nearby.

Don't you live in Chelsea, adrober? Surely you're tripping over cute boys every time you go outside to get a newspaper.
posted by bcwinters at 10:32 AM on December 11, 2004

He walked into a coffeeshop (Caribou on B'way for the Chicago-ites). Saw the eyes, saw the smile, saw the arms.

Only guy I've ever walked up to point blank and asked out. Been cuddling since.
posted by ao4047 at 10:43 AM on December 11, 2004

Haha. Gay Caribou.

Friends of friends. Gay.com is worthless.
posted by gramcracker at 11:17 AM on December 11, 2004

all my relationships were from bar hookups. I have friends who found love thru things like the Gay Bowling League, and Brunch Buddies, and an outdoor outings group, tho.
posted by amberglow at 12:47 PM on December 11, 2004

Theres a gay bowling league? Now i've heard everything. (I mean that in a good way gentlemen)
posted by Keyser Soze at 1:11 PM on December 11, 2004

Homobowling is more traditionally done in lesbian bowling leagues, but our sisters are kind enough to invite the boys sometimes. As for meeting partners, I was introduced to mine by a friend from soc.motss.
posted by Nelson at 1:15 PM on December 11, 2004

tons of them, Keyser, all over the country--cute matching shirts and everything : >
posted by amberglow at 1:23 PM on December 11, 2004

ao4047, I have to ask: do you find it irritating when your pendulous steel testicles clang together as you walk? Or have you just learned to live with it?

Also, this is a good question. I have had one (1) actual boyfriend of my life, and I met him on the internet. Not telling you where. Other than that, I have had zero romantic success (I'm not counting unsatisfactory one-night stands as "successes").
posted by kavasa at 1:50 PM on December 11, 2004

IANAG but my best friend is. He and his husband have been together for 5 years this coming New Year's Eve and they met at the gym.
posted by j at 2:07 PM on December 11, 2004

do you find it irritating when your pendulous steel testicles clang together as you walk?

Nah - I just wish I could be that nervy in everything I do. If it makes any difference he put me off for 3 weeks before we went on our first date.
posted by ao4047 at 2:13 PM on December 11, 2004 [1 favorite]

Like j - IANH, but my close friend is. He met his first boyfriend in high school choir (so stereotypical, I know). Now he meets all his SO's in his college choir. Apparently, Southern California colleges are the best places to meet hot openly-gay men.
posted by muddgirl at 2:39 PM on December 11, 2004

kavasa: Thank you. That great use of the word pendulous made my afternoon.

My current 2+ year SO was a friend-of-a-friend. Or rather, a friend's dorm-mate. Have since lost track of that friend. Met another multi-year boyfriend on a mailing list, and we started hanging out in the real world because we were both temporarily transplanted into in the same city for work.

Hmmm... out of my... ehem several relationships, I don't believe I've ever met guys with the same method twice.
posted by zeypher at 4:37 PM on December 11, 2004

A mutual (straight, female) friend of ours introduced us. Highly recommended method, especially if the friend doing the matchmaking knows both of you well. I'm a huge fan of the pre-screening process.

Actually, two of my better relationships happened this way (with a different mediator each time).

I never really enjoyed meeting people at bars, but I did have a whole gang of gay friends I met on the Internet. I also met a lot of people while volunteering with GLAAD's media watch group, which is good if you're into smart guys.
posted by yellowcandy at 11:40 PM on December 11, 2004