What novelty bits can I put in a going away card?

July 7, 2009 3:59 AM

What funny little novelty items could I put in a going away pack for my girlfriend who is going to Australia for the summer?

I'm thinking of little things that I could print out, or make or buy which will fit in a card. For example, a printed out map or some printed out emergency dollars. Any suggestions of what else I could put in the card?

posted by lukeo05 to Grab Bag (12 answers total)

Best answer: How about a checklist of silly experiences/tasks/things to look out for?
posted by Chrysalis at 4:14 AM on July 7, 2009

Best answer: I don't know what kind of relationship you have but I would think it'd be funny if I found a condom in a bon voyage card from my boyfriend.
posted by spec80 at 4:21 AM on July 7, 2009

Best answer: Give her a card telling her that 000 is the emergency number down under, not 999.
Tell her that the best thing to do if she's stung when swimming in the ocean is to pour vinegar on herself (it's true.)
Tell her not to play with snakes or spiders, and rock fish are deadly. Even a goanna can leave nasty scars.
Who's summer, yours or ours? Because if she's coming for our summer, tell her to hydrate heaps, and wear sunscreen and a hat, and long sleeved clothes outside.


(Now you will sound either like a very caring and thoughtful guy, or someone who is a scaredy-cat).
posted by b33j at 4:39 AM on July 7, 2009

You could print out a little card that has a toilet with clockwise arrow showing the way that it flows and "Incorrect" written under it, and a toilet with counter-clockwise arrow with "Correct" under it.
posted by burnmp3s at 4:53 AM on July 7, 2009

Yes I know this isn't clever - A calling card. Dialing international from Australia without one (or Skype) is financial suicide. You can buy one online for almost any denomination and print it out. Here's one site that sells them.

Also, it's a nice trick if you can slip the card into her suitcase without her noticing. My girlfriend does that to me and it's always a pleasant surprise to find them when I unpack.
posted by kgbrion at 4:54 AM on July 7, 2009

I know you said you wanted to fit it in a card, but if you can make it into a little good bag, what about one of your shirts that has been worn but not dirty/stinky? That would make me both cry and smile and it would be a huge comfort to me when I was lonely.
posted by like_neon at 5:02 AM on July 7, 2009

Response by poster: All great suggestions everyone. Thanks a lot for the help!
posted by lukeo05 at 5:47 AM on July 7, 2009

A list of things you will miss about her would be sweet. A list of things she should miss about you could be hilarious.

A handy guide to relatively obvious Australian wildlife (like this one) might be fun.
posted by vytae at 9:42 AM on July 7, 2009 [1 favorite]

b33j reminded me that phrases ("heaps") are different. Go online and find all the translations for US (I assume you are US) to Oz words and phrases, such as:

Mate = friend, "dude"
Heaps = lots
Reckon = think
A dog's breakfast = a real mess, bad job
Fair Dinkum = genuine or fair
She'll be right, mate = it'll be fine
No worries = no problem
S'truth, mate = agreed, or that's the truth
Back of Burke = out in the sticks
Ta = thanks
Cheers = greeting, salutation, thanks
Walla Walla = (just know not to call Walla Walla Walla)
Middie = 6oz beer
Flat white = Sort of a Latte
Long black = Cafe Americano
Bogan = sort of like trailer trash
Bloody = (intensifier) as in "bloody hell"
Arvo = afternoon
Beetroot = Beets, pronounced "BEE-Troot, not beet-root
Esky = cooler
Ute = Car with a pickup back-end, like an El Camino
Snag = sausage, for grilling on the barbie
Barbie = grill, not US BBQ
Lollies = candy


That'll get you started and I'm sure others can provide a more extensive list.
posted by qwip at 10:04 AM on July 7, 2009

She will absolutely need a list of The World's Largest Roadside Attractions: Australia. (From front page --> search --> by country --> Australia --> handy table displayed!)

As in:
The Big Banana, Coffs Harbour.
and
The World's Largest Oyster, Taree.
posted by mdonley at 11:55 AM on July 7, 2009

Seriously, what b33j said. Getting sunburnt and munched on by animals is not cool. Oh, and swim between the damn flags!

Also thongs go on your feet.
And fanny does not mean butt here... (it's a crude word for something else). 'Fanny pack' makes me cringe inwardly, but I have known others to giggle or make some kind of.. comment. Ugh. Try 'bum-bag' instead.
Or just don't wear one because they suck anyway, regardless of whatever you might call it? :)

I found this map, and also this map (Victoria is not that large... amongst other things, but there is still some truth to it :) Might only be funny to us though?)
But I could not find the map I was looking for!! From memory it's much like this one except it also indicates deadly creatures and Australia is just circled.
Which is kinda funny because that is so true.
posted by mu~ha~ha~ha~har at 5:45 AM on July 8, 2009

The Lonely Planet does a dictionary of Australianisms; I found one on a shelf in a travel store in Canada for like $10 and much amusement ensued. Bargain laughs, and, god help us, it's all for real! Hm, I thought it was more blue on the cover than this, but I reckon that'll be it. $4! Even better!
posted by springbound at 4:20 AM on July 9, 2009