What are my chances of contracting herpes?
June 17, 2009 12:24 PM   Subscribe

What are my chances of contracting herpes?

I am moving out of the country in a couple weeks. I have reignited a romance with a former flame. He has genital herpes.

I knew about this before we slept together, and we always used condoms and avoided sex if he had an outbreak. I never contracted herpes while I was with him (I had a blood test after we broke up.)

We're not in any kind of relationship, we just have a special connection. I want to have some great memories and good times with him before I leave.

Is it too much of a risk to have sex, assuming we use a condom and he isn't having an outbreak? The information on the internet seems to be all over the map. One nurse I talked to seemed to think the risk was very minimal, a doctor told me she didn't think it was worth the risk.

Would anti-viral drugs be a possibility?

I'm not sure how to talk to him about this, given that we had sex before and I was fine with it.

I'm just trying to measure the risk before I make a decision. Thanks!
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (5 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
I recently talked to my doctor about this, and she said the risk is pretty low (low, single percentage points, if even) if you do everything right (condoms, anti-virals, avoidance at the right times). You're more at risk as a girl, but condoms more effectively protect you as a female, too. Purely anecdotal, but I have a friend with HSV who was married for 10 years and had two long-term relationships and has never passed it to a partner. But really, it's about your own personal comfort with the risk, right?
posted by lunalaguna at 12:35 PM on June 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wikipedia:
On an annual basis, without the use of antivirals or condoms, the transmission risk of HSV-2 from infected male to female is approximately 8-10%. This is believed to be due to the increased exposure of mucosal tissue to potential infection sites. Transmission risk from infected female to male is approximately 4-5% annually. Suppressive antiviral therapy reduces these risks by 50%. Antivirals also help prevent the development of symptomatic HSV in infection scenarios—meaning the infected partner will be seropositive but symptom free—by about 50%. Condom use also reduces the transmission risk by 50%.
So starting at a 10% risk (annual), if you assume the studied group had sex 100 times / year, the per-incidence trasmission risk would be 1 in 950. Slap on a condom and have him down some antivirals and you'd looking at a ~1 in 4,000 risk. If you only care about symptomatic infections, then it's 1 in 8,000 per encounter.
posted by 1VF5 at 1:08 PM on June 17, 2009


Here is a Savage Love question that is basically the same, with a reversal of genders.

I would recommend this piece of advice, for peace of mind: "Wash thoroughly with soap and water after sex; virii aren't very strong. Soap and hot water kill and/or wash away the herpes virus if it hasn't already made it through a break in your skin. "

Keep in mind that having careful sex with someone who you know the risks about is much safer than having less safe sex with a perfect stranger who could just as easily have something. If you picked up a random guy in the bar, you could be taking the exact same risk. But since you know from the start your partner has herpes, you'll be sure to take the precautions to prevent you from getting it.

Happy fuckin'!
posted by Juliet Banana at 1:45 PM on June 17, 2009


Keep in mind that the virus can get into you a lot more easily if you have any breaks in your skin. Regardless of whether he has any open sores, if you've got (for example) a nick or ingrown hair from bikini line maintenance, or tiny abrasions from the friction of sex, the virus can more easily get into your system. So keep an eye on your own parts, and be gentle to them. Use plenty of lube.
posted by vytae at 2:09 PM on June 17, 2009


Juliet Banana has it, but obviously be aware that more vigorous washing or any kind of exfoliation is worse, not better. The most important thing is to avoid abrasions or any breaking of the skin. If your partner is not already on an anti-viral, eg Valtrex, daily therapy for him can reduce the odds of spreading the virus (even if he's already asymptomatic).
posted by telegraph at 2:54 PM on June 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


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