Girlfriend turning 40, how to plan an unforgettable birthday?

June 11, 2009 5:31 AM

My girlfriend turns 40. How can I ensure she has a GREAT birthday?

Hi all,

Turning 40 is not something my girlfriend is particularly looking forward to. However, it is a special occasion which should be celebrated. She doesn't like surprises which involve other people (no surprise party), however I think she would like to be surprised by me!

Some background info: she loves contemporary design, interior decorating, traveling, happy music and dancing, silence and tranquility, gardening, good food and wine and is very fond of animals. We live in the Netherlands. She loves small 'moments' instead of BIG gestures.

Please help me figure out nice and original (small) ways to give her a great and unforgettable day, which does not emphasize the age thing and does not involve a lot of 'other people'. With 'original' I mean, not the obligatory weekend in a foreign city plan.

Also, we are not rich and have a joint bank account, so I should not have to spend too much upfront. I do have quite some frequent flyer miles, which allow me to book flights relatively cheap.

Thanks!

posted by IZ to Human Relations (6 answers total)

I'm about to turn 40.

Here's what I think would be a nice day. Mainly it shows preparation and thoughtfulness, and allows relaxation, anticipation, and enjoyment.

The night before: a note - "pack something casual, something sporty, and something slinky, and be ready at 8am."

morning - go to a nice beachside town, have a leisurely breakfast.
afternoon - go to a museum, for a hike, window-shopping, etc
evening - go to a concert, jazz club, or candlelight dinner at home

To be romantic, you can pre-arrange things at each stop, for example arrange with the waiter to deliver a card from you with a love poem in it. You can make an album of all the great times you've shared. Or make a CD of your special songs and arrange for it to be played when you're in your favorite cafe/bookstore.

In short, a day full of pleasant little surprises that show you've been working hard!
posted by metaseeker at 6:59 AM on June 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

You could propose to marry her, if that's something you both have thought and talked about.
posted by abdulf at 10:01 AM on June 11, 2009

Do you know the person she reports to at her work? If you do, and think they'll be the kind of person who will let you, arrange with them, secretly, for your girlfriend to have a day off work. When she goes to her office as normal, surprise her there with flowers and train tickets for a day trip destination. At your destination, arrange in advance for there to be special things awaiting her when she arrives (a special table at a restaurant with flowers just for her, a personal tour guide at a museum, etc.).

As for specific destinations, is the Nederlands Openluchtmuseum at Arnhem close enough for such a day trip? Given her interest in design, she may enjoy the historic buildings and handicrafts as design inspiration, and it will certainly appeal to her appreciation of gardens and animals as well. (Though I haven't been to this specific open air museum, I went to several in Scandinavia a few years ago [including Stockholm's Skansen], and I enjoyed them for precisely these reasons).
posted by ocherdraco at 11:35 AM on June 11, 2009

Seconding the abduction-from-work-proposal. In my experience it breaks the comfort-zone in a pleasant, giggly, way.

How the rest of the day (or maybe two days - "honey, let's have a lie-in") will be spent is up to your two. Museums are great for strolling, holding hands and chatting. A booked table in the most quiet corner of a nice restaurant (with lit candles and a nice bouqet of flowers) is pleasant for conversations and sharing of minds.

If I might venture to present a specific idea it would be to make an appointment with some handicraft-person for an personal instruction. Silver-smith or ceramics or what-ever. Then you both will be making some solid memories of the day, and a memory to share.

Oh, yes: Do have fun. Whatever you choose to do.
posted by Rabarberofficer at 1:19 PM on June 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

Does she have any online wishlists? Getting a present off of one of them would certainly be nice. It wouldn't be a surprise in the strictest sense of the word, but it is always wonderful to get a gift you really want.
posted by IndigoRain at 1:30 AM on June 12, 2009

The boyfriend of a friend of mine asked 40 people in her life to do something for others on her 40th birthday. We all performed some random act of kindness and then texted her a happy birthday and a description of what we did...so all day she got little presents from us. The 'acts' ranged from buying the stranger behind you a cup of coffee to volunteering at a homeless shelter - all in her name.

I thought it was such a nice thing to do - for all of us!
posted by rvrlvr at 7:04 AM on June 12, 2009 [3 favorites]