Planning a bachelor party in Baltimore.
June 4, 2009 11:44 AM   Subscribe

I need some help with bachelor party plans - for my brother.

This will be the first wedding I will be attending as a grownup, and I'll be my brother's best man to boot. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, and I'm stuck on ideas for his bachelor party.

The details:
-He lives, and the wedding will be, within the Baltimore beltway.
-The wedding is next month, on a Saturday. It seems like the best times to do this thing would be (depending on what we do) during the day Friday or after the rehearsal dinner (~10 pm) Friday night.
-I don't know any of his friends. He has taken care of inviting his friends to it. There will be around 10 of us.
-There's the off chance that some of our male relatives will be attending (our father seemed oddly interested). I think our mother knocked some sense into him, but there is that possibility.

I had suggested paintball during the day Friday and he seemed ok with that, but I'd love to hear other suggestions. I would not be against heavy drinking Friday night, but I imagine the rehearsal dinner will be a bawdy affair as it is, and it ends pretty late.

So, I need some help. First, I would like to make this at least a bit more memorable than a typical guys' night out, but I have no idea how. What are things to do either during the day Friday or after the dinner around Baltimore (I know nothing about the city)? Anything I'm blindly missing?
posted by backseatpilot to Grab Bag (14 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
When you say "within the Baltimore Beltway," I assume you mean the County, but not the city. The quick answer is that it's a good time of year for crabs. (A lot of them are being shipped in from elsewhere these days, but never mind...) A crab feast is a local mainstay and you could do it at lunch without leaving everyone destroyed for dinner. For people new to town, it'll be something new and exciting, and to locals, it'll be the mark of an occasion shared with good friends. Finding a place will be up to you, and there are only about 5.2x10^8 restaurants in the area that serve crabs. So book early.

(And contrary to what you might see on TV, people from Baltimore do not eat crabs or crab cakes 3 meals a day, 365 days a year.)
posted by el_lupino at 11:57 AM on June 4, 2009

For a bachelor party I enjoy the casino trip - if there's 10 of you, grab $50 from everyone so he can have a $500 pot to blow. His father should not attend. *Good* cigars for ending the evening.
posted by Ryvar at 12:04 PM on June 4, 2009

As a general word from somebody who has been the bachelor and the best man: don't have the bachelor party the day before the wedding. The bachelor will be too stressed out to enjoy himself and any damage you do to yourselves usually can't be undone in 24 hours. I was at a friend's bachelor party where we did paintball, and we were all covered with welts for three days, plus all the desk jockeys at the party couldn't walk well for a week (myself included). Fortunately, we had two weeks to recover. My brother attended a party where it seemed like a good idea at the time to scribble all over the passed out bachelor with magic markers. Not so funny when you could see it on his neck above the collar of his tuxedo.

If it's at all an option, have the bachelor party a week or two in advance, preferably the same night as the bachelorette party to preclude any jealousy weirdness as well.
posted by ga$money at 12:07 PM on June 4, 2009

Seconding the "avoid the night before" advice. Weddings are stressful as all get out. Getting up early to get ready, the ceremony, standing for picture after picture after picture until you just want to scream, shaking hands and thanking everyone who came, stopping at every table to thank them again, more pictures, and that's just up to the beginning of the reception. You still have to find time to eat while thanking everyone left and right, cut the cake, and then there's dancing. No way would he, you, or anyone else want to do all that while tired from lack of sleep and/or hungover.
posted by Kellydamnit at 12:11 PM on June 4, 2009

Response by poster: The quick answer is that it's a good time of year for crabs.

No strippers, please.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:12 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

Two non-answers and a suggestion, but hear me out:

1) Please, please reconsider having it the night BEFORE the wedding. Do you really want the groom to be a hungover mess the next day? Even the Thursday would be better. ON PREVIEW: What they said.

2) I don't know what you family dynamic is, but on my bachelor party, we went paintballing during the day, and drinking at night. My dad came and played paintball with us, and left us to our own shenanigans afterwards. I can honestly say that having my dad come and play was the coolest and best part of the entire day/evening. If your dad wants to come, why wouldn't you want him to? You're adults; he knows what adults do at these things, and still wants to participate.

My suggestion: how about a car rally? There are a massive number of different options you could consider; lists of items relevant to your brother's life, team changes, a "Where's Waldo/My Brother" option, checkpoints with tasks, etc. You wouldn't necessarily have to know Baltimore to organize such a thing, but you would be reliant on locals for some location info. Get some buddy email addresses from your brother, and start planning -- it would also be a chance for you all to connect before the event, likely making it more enjoyable.

Good luck!
posted by liquado at 12:13 PM on June 4, 2009

It took me three days (no kidding) to recover from my bachelor party, so I agree with ga$money (ON PREVIEW: and others) regarding the suggestion to do it well in advance. The weekend before is better idea than the night before.

You can't go wrong with getting hammered and checking out strippers (not necessarily in that order). A pub crawl is pretty traditional. Ryvar's casino suggestion is neat, and I will keep that in mind when planning my bro's party.

A suggestion: Get a girl blow-up doll (anatomically correct is best) and stick pictures of famous ladies' faces on the head, and reveal a new one every hour or so; handcuff the doll to the groom, and make sure it stays with him no matter wher you go. This will have hilarious consequences.
posted by Simon Barclay at 12:18 PM on June 4, 2009

I wouldn't do paintball the day before the wedding. Imagine the groom got hit in the face with a paintball and the pictures the next day? Your soon-to-be SIL would kill him, then you.

I agree to not do it the day before the wedding. Are the Orioles in town? You could maybe go to a game.
posted by pised at 1:09 PM on June 4, 2009

I understand the "no dad" part in principle . . . however, this is a bit of a coming of age event. If you are ever going to totally connect with your pops, this will be one of the places where it could happen. Ask him what he did on his, he presence could provide a handful of stories you haven't heard before ... also, you may need a driver!

On the pub crawl:
-You can only hold your drink in your left hand (or you have to finish it and buy a drink for you and the person who caught you)
-No texting or phone fidgeting with your right hand (that means you can only mess with your phone between drinks, a good technique for keeping things together)
-If anybody in the party screams "INCOMING" everybody hits the deck (with ten heads or more, this makes for quite a show (remember to do this between bars too))

As a side note, eating a shit-ton of crabs right before an evening where I fully intended to get blackout drunk sounds like a recipe for disaster (and some of the most horrific-smelling vomit you have ever encountered). Don't get me wrong, I love crabs, but I might think this one over once or twice before settled on them
posted by milqman at 1:12 PM on June 4, 2009

My bachelor party was fantastic: my wife and I had a giant dinner with our friends, then the ladies (and a couple men) went to a drag/showtunes bar and the men (and a couple ladies) went the other to a strip club. Then we all got back together at midnight at a 4am bar to commiserate. The fact that everyone knew we were going to meet up again prevented things from getting too out of control.

That said, this was all the Thursday before the wedding. As many have mentioned, a bachelor party the night before the wedding should be avoided if at all possible. Even with two days of healing, I still had visible whip marks on our Special Day.
posted by eamondaly at 1:59 PM on June 4, 2009

Now that I think about it, I threw a bachelor party for my buddy in Baltimore. We met up at Pickle's Pub, caught a game at Camden Yards, then enjoyed a three-hour party package (ask for Victoria) over at the Hustler Club. Afterward, we stumbled over to a pair of suites at... crap. Can't find it, but any hotel will do, really. Just make sure you tell them it's for a bachelor party and have beer, liquor, and cots ready in the room ahead of time.

The next morning, I had a topless waitress serve donuts and mix Bloody Marys (hide this stuff so you don't eat and drink it all the night before) and a professional masseuse (make sure they know that this is a bachelor party and that a topless waitress will be there) to help flush out the toxins.
posted by eamondaly at 2:15 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Do it the week before, and make all your reservations now. Paintball fills up pretty quickly, surprisingly. My assumption is that you're going for the cigars-and-steaks bachelor party.


Route 40 Paintball or Outdoor Adventures are your best bets. Both are sliiighty outside the Beltway, but not by much. AFAIK, there's no paintball inside the city.


I love crabs, but there's a learning curve associated with eating them, you stink afterwards, and your hands get all cut up cracking them open. If it's a bunch of out of towners, you may want to hit a place that has other options and not go to the real crabhouses. Nick's Fish House is not too far from Federal Hill, has a deck by the water and has decent crabs. (I said *decent*, I don't want to start the crabhouse war). I've heard good things about Sullivan's Steakhouse as well, which is also right by the ballpark.


Fells Point is probably your best bet. Max's has a gazillion beers on tap, a cigar bar and all that good stuff. There's also a bunch of other bars right around there, probably can't go wrong. Canton and the area around Cross Street Market in Federal Hill are also good bets.

Other Stuff

If you want to go get a straight razor shave, Quintessential Gentlman is a fun place. You get beers while you wait and if you bring a bottle of scotch, they'll supply the glasses. Call ahead and tell them it's for a bachelor party and they may do something special.

Orioles tickets are super cheap and easy to get, as long as the Red Sox or the Yankess aren't in town.

Also, if you do end up at a strip club, go for the Ritz or Hustler. I'm by no means a coinnesseur, but I've heard the others can be pretty nasty. The Ritz is in Fells Point, so you'll probably end up there after going to Max's.
posted by electroboy at 3:03 PM on June 4, 2009

Response by poster: Wow, that barbershop is awesome. That looks like a terrific idea without going too overboard. Unfortunately, his wedding is on the 11th, meaning the week before is Independence Day. Also, most of his groomsmen are coming from out of town, so it looks like Thursday night or Friday are the only options.

So now I'm thinking a day of classy manliness - dressing in suits, straight razor shaves. Any other suggestions to fit that theme? Is there a casino in the area?
posted by backseatpilot at 6:08 PM on June 4, 2009

Nah, no gambling to speak of. There's slots in Charlestown, WV and Delaware, but the closest casino is in Atlantic City, about 3-4 hours away. I think horse racing is done for the season too. There's occasionally amateur boxing at Du Burns arena, but it looks like June 25th and July 26th, so probably wouldn't work with your schedule.
posted by electroboy at 10:14 PM on June 4, 2009

« Older How to plan a quick and cheap workplace retreat   |   How do I slow my bunion down? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.