Chew. Pop. Chew. Pop.
May 28, 2009 4:59 PM   Subscribe

Please help me cope with noises I have no control over!

I've always been very annoyed with noises I can't control, and recently my next-door cube neighbor at work has begun chewing gum and popping it quite loudly. All. Day. Long.

Granted, I should just say something, but I don't trust myself not to say it in a rude manner. Instead I crank my headphones--to the detriment of my hearing.

Since uncontrollable noises bother me so much in more places than just at work, do you, hive mind, have any coping mechanisms that might help me with the world at large?
posted by Zoyashka to Human Relations (22 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
Noise-cancelling headphones.

I have your problem, and it saved my nerves. I have terrible neighbors who scream and shout and cry until 4 AM. I wear my headphones to sleep and play white noise.

You need them for work. They're a bit expensive, but worth it.
posted by winna at 5:04 PM on May 28, 2009


Earplugs. I use them all the time in NYC, hub of spontaneous stress-inducing noise.
posted by whimsicalnymph at 5:08 PM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


You know, there's also a related question. Which is, why do the vast majority of noises that you can't control not annoy you? For every cube neighbor chewing gum there are thousands of air conditioner hums, tapping noises coming from various machines, beeps, crackles, copier noises, etc. If these don't bother you, then it seems like you are doing a fine job of ignoring noise most of the time. Maybe you can try to work out how you do this so successfully and apply that strategy to the remaining small subset of noises that bother you.
posted by jefeweiss at 5:12 PM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have great difficulty sleeping in the presence of any kind of noise, and of course getting angry at the source of the noise only makes it worse. Ear plugs are my coping mechanism. Specifically the dense orange foam, approximately conical ones, usually rated around 33db noise reduction if the package specifies that at all.

I have slept through thunderstorms with these, and no longer hear dogs barking or noisy exhausts. Not really a good solution for your office difficulties, but perhaps helpful in other scenarios. I've seen one or two people use these on the train, for example, to keep out cell phone/conversation/MP3 player sounds. I also found them nice to use on airplanes, where the noise level is rather high. I arrive significantly less fatigued when I use these for most of the flight.
posted by FishBike at 5:14 PM on May 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'd say if it was just that problem, then I would take it up directly with your co-worker.

Would you feel that it was unfair of someone to raise the same concern with you?

Nip it in the bud I reckon! :)
posted by rc55 at 5:34 PM on May 28, 2009


I had a friend who suffered from this (being very annoyed with uncontrollable sounds, especially of the gum-popping / lip smacking variety). It got so bad he started chewing holes on the inside of his jaw.

After a physician ran a bunch of tests, it was determined that there was nothing wrong with him physically. Then, through a therapist, he found out the root of the problem was psychological-- the extreme sensitivity to noises was a function of some control and stress issues he had.

So while I have no idea about your particular situation, this might be an angle worth considering.
posted by Rykey at 5:48 PM on May 28, 2009


Seconding whimsicalnymph on the earplug idea. They can cancel out quite a bit of noise. Would be less expensive than the noise cancelling phones, which would be my next choice. But you might want to put up a sign saying something like "tap me gently on the shoulder if you need my attention". Otherwise, people may start talking to you and think your ignoring them.

The plugs would cause the least friction too.
posted by Taurid at 5:49 PM on May 28, 2009


I know someone who did this who was just honestly not aware that it was really loud outside of his own head. It might be worth trying a quick "Dude, do you mind not popping your gum? It's kind of distracting."
posted by lucidium at 6:00 PM on May 28, 2009


One similar affliction is "misphonia". I certainly hate hearing gum-chewing and habitual coughing (mouth open, as a habit rather than a symptom of a cold), etc. at work. It breaks me of my zone and it's really usually not necessary on their part. You're certainly not alone.
posted by kcm at 6:38 PM on May 28, 2009


I've got a carrot-crunching chuckler who chews gum sitting behind me. I find that bitching to my friends on the internet is remarkably soothing. I'm not being snarky -- I find that a good quick harsh venting does wonders for me to get past the noise and get back to work.
posted by desuetude at 6:43 PM on May 28, 2009


I think you're gonna have to mention the chewing of the gum. It's not as if they're going to start chewing more loudly.
posted by fantasticninety at 6:46 PM on May 28, 2009




Direct Sound EX29 Extreme Isolation Headphones (Black)

I have a pair of these at work. They're amazing. No fancy digital noise cancelling stuff, just hardcore physical ear isolation.

Once you have the option to be in control of your sound environment, you may be able to ask your coworker about their gum habits with a little less fury.
posted by macinchik at 7:20 PM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Don't say anything. It's an unconscious habit and your cubemate will continue to do it without even realizing, and you'll be madder if you think "he's doing it anyway". Just get a pair of marshmallow earplugs and wear them under your headphones. $1 solution.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 9:11 PM on May 28, 2009


Things I don't have any control over drive me the craziest when I've got other unexamined stresses in my life. I'd start with noise canceling headphones/earplugs (because god, noisy coworkers) but also look at what you can do to improve things in your life that are under your direct control. Stress shows up in all kinds of interesting ways.

And it couldn't hurt to ask politely about the gum cracking. Maybe you could tell them you startle easily? It's certainly true for me.
posted by Space Kitty at 10:31 PM on May 28, 2009


I have to study a lot and to minimize distractions. This is what I've come up with so far:

1. Hearos Ultimate Softness earplugs: $7 for 20 pairs on eBay. Pretty easy on the ears and work pretty well

2. Instead of music, just play white noise. This works better than earplugs both because it dorwns noise out better (at relatively low volumes) and because my headphones are much more comfortable than any pair of earplugs.

I use this website: http://www.simplynoise.com/ and prefer "Pink Noise."
posted by razzbaronz at 10:43 PM on May 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Years ago, I was wearing bangle bracelets one day that jingled enough to annoy my office mate. She didn't hesitate to ask me to stop wearing them in our office because they drove her crazy. I wasn't offended and took them off.

I'm also very sensitive to noises (except my own jingly bracelets, apparently) but can't work with headphones or earplugs. I would ask him to stop, keeping it short and sweet. If you're worried about being rude, perhaps you could draft a short, simple request and run it by someone you trust. If necessary, you could practice it and even practice a couple of possible responses to whatever his answer might be.
posted by Majorita at 12:29 AM on May 29, 2009


I have these and I use them to cancel out noise from the bar downstairs when I go to sleep. They're cheap and work wonders. I don't even play sound on them sometimes.
posted by Betty_effn_White at 3:20 AM on May 29, 2009


Can you have a fan in your cubicle? For me, fans provide breeze and white noise.
posted by Carol Anne at 6:10 AM on May 29, 2009


Response by poster: Hey thanks everyone--I'm going to give some of these a shot. I'm especially intrigued with the simplynoise.com suggestion!

Luckily, this co-worker is on the docket for moving his cube over to the next bay, so fingers crossed that will happen soooooon.

Have a great weekend everyone and as always--thanks for being super!
posted by Zoyashka at 6:36 AM on May 29, 2009


In-ear (sealing) earphones have changed my life. They make every day more relaxed and easy for me here in NYC. I recommend Etymotic ER-6is, and there are many alternatives. They look expensive at first but, as a person on a very limited budget, I can say they're probably the best $70 I've ever spent.
posted by kalapierson at 12:29 PM on May 29, 2009


By the way, if you do get earplugs, make sure you use them correctly: http://lifehacker.com/5275516/properly-insert-earplugs-for-better-protection

It definitely makes a difference.
posted by razzbaronz at 10:54 AM on June 2, 2009


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