Novel holiday greetings?
November 29, 2004 4:45 PM   Subscribe

What's an endearing, unique, but general and non-religion-specific holiday greeting to put on the front of a card going to lots of different people these days? "Seasons Greetings" and "Happy Holidays" need not apply.
posted by robbie01 to Writing & Language (37 answers total)
How about "Happy New Year"? Not endearing enough? Something based on the change in the secular calander year should avoid offense, at least...
posted by mr_roboto at 4:51 PM on November 29, 2004

Response by poster: I guess something that is more novel than something you would read on a Hallmark card or actually say in conversation, but something short would be good. New Year's wishes seem "late" to me... this card is intended for the typical December holidays. Notions of "peace" might be possible, but also don't want to set anyone off in our current political climate..
posted by robbie01 at 4:56 PM on November 29, 2004

Happy Festivus.
posted by drezdn at 4:56 PM on November 29, 2004

a rebus is always good, and hokey/cheesy images always work too...or dig up some of those cards we gave out in elementary school? (if you did that--i can't find them online)
posted by amberglow at 4:57 PM on November 29, 2004

Merry Chrismachanukwanzivus.
posted by luriete at 4:59 PM on November 29, 2004

"Best to you and yours. May the season bring you good fortune and cheer." Perhaps not unique, but pretty endearing. Its generally pretty easy to come up with stuff like this, it's like love poetry. Generic.
posted by bob sarabia at 4:59 PM on November 29, 2004

or you could play with the classic phrases, in an "Olive, the other reindeer" way
posted by amberglow at 5:02 PM on November 29, 2004

Happy Decemberween?
posted by jenovus at 5:04 PM on November 29, 2004

Peace on Earth.

May not be suitable for Republicans
posted by PrinceValium at 5:12 PM on November 29, 2004

Peace on Earth, good will to all?
posted by GaelFC at 5:12 PM on November 29, 2004

Happy Solstice.

Do you think it's just a coincidence that we're all burning candles and stringing trees with electric lights this time of year?
posted by Eamon at 5:15 PM on November 29, 2004

"Compliments of the Season"? (via today's toastfilter)

It appears to have been in style a while back.
posted by zelphi at 5:18 PM on November 29, 2004

Response by poster: Thanks for the suggestions so far. Trying to keep it text only (no image) and probably non-humorous.
posted by robbie01 at 5:24 PM on November 29, 2004

Happy Isaac Newton's Birthday.
posted by fatllama at 5:25 PM on November 29, 2004

Know what they celebrate, and write that... or own up to the fact that you're sending them a card on a flimsy pretense.
posted by cadastral at 5:26 PM on November 29, 2004

Maybe you could find inspiration here.

But seriously, I think you have to give a think to why you are sending these people cards, and then try and express that. If you're really sending them Christmas cards but just don't want to offend the Jews and atheists, I think it's almost insulting to not call them Christmas cards.
posted by smackfu at 5:27 PM on November 29, 2004

Deck Us All With Boston Charlie...
posted by Vidiot at 5:30 PM on November 29, 2004

Response by poster: I'd love to personalize the outside of each card (the inside will be somewhat) but there will simply be too many. I'm printing these and have to have the same general message on the outside, that will go to people who celebrate different holidays over the season, not just Christmas.
posted by robbie01 at 5:31 PM on November 29, 2004

Io Saturnalia!

And word on what smackfu said. Either you're sending them early New Year's wishes, or you're trying to finesse the "not everyone is a Christian" issue.

I vote for sending people early New Year's wishes. Whenever I have designed non-humorous non-sectarian year-end cards for clients, I find that the "best wishes to you and yours for the coming New Year" track is generally the best-received.

Send the cards in early or mid-December if you must; there's nothing wrong with expressing your good wishes for a Happy New Year well in advance.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:32 PM on November 29, 2004

Response by poster: So far I'm using "I'm sending you a card on a flimsy pretense" as a placeholder.
posted by robbie01 at 5:33 PM on November 29, 2004

I've found that a nice card with the word JOY emblazoned on the front and some big happy glowing star can encompass most of the holidays in an okay fashion and really get the point across that I'm just in a sending-cards mood.
posted by jessamyn at 5:47 PM on November 29, 2004

Hav a topp winter, o you mite
posted by bonaldi at 6:03 PM on November 29, 2004

Best Wishes During The Holiday Season!

Wishing You Health & Good Cheer!
posted by davidmsc at 6:12 PM on November 29, 2004

I liked "Happy Annual Gift Season and a Positive New Year," from this goofy old Flash.
posted by magicbus at 6:32 PM on November 29, 2004

"Remember, Santa is calling you a hooker"

Ho Ho Ho.
posted by alan at 6:49 PM on November 29, 2004

you could go with a "Happy (insert holiday here)"
posted by amberglow at 7:42 PM on November 29, 2004

I favour "Have a Good One". Pretty much covers everything.
posted by arha at 7:59 PM on November 29, 2004

My wife and I choose not to partake in the Hallmark Holidays, so we came up with the idea of sending "Wishing you a Fun Year" self-made cards sometime in early January. They have an inspirational quote on the back and a "this is what we look like these days" photo on the front.

Since we've been married less than 2 years, we've actually only done this once. But we got lots of lovey-dovey feedback on it, so we're planning on making it a Tradition.
posted by Bradley at 8:14 PM on November 29, 2004

screw my comment, as an atheist it would brighten my day to get a "I'm sending you a card on a flimsy pretense" card.
posted by bob sarabia at 8:36 PM on November 29, 2004

Io Saturnalia indeed. I love you, Sidhedevil. LATIN SCHOLARS 4 LIFE
posted by jenovus at 9:55 PM on November 29, 2004

Enjoy Winter!
posted by Navek Rednam at 2:46 AM on November 30, 2004

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all.

Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

That ought to do it.
posted by nthdegx at 5:41 AM on November 30, 2004 [1 favorite]

I write HOLIDAY on mine and leave it at that, inspired by my traveling brother who sends postcards that just say POSTCARD on the back. I've also done ones that say happy happy joy joy - gets the point across. Less is more.

Except I think I'll use nthdegx's this year!
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:51 AM on November 30, 2004

posted by beniamino at 1:06 PM on November 30, 2004

Happy Ramahanukwanzimas
posted by turbodog at 2:21 PM on November 30, 2004

Politically Correct Santa Claus

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck ...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause such a commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets ... they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football ... someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brains away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere ... even you.

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth ...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

Notice: This poem is copyright 1992 by Harvey Ehrlich. It is free to
distribute, without changes, as long as this notice remains intact.
posted by ruelle at 3:59 PM on November 30, 2004

I personally need to send the ecumenical cards out, as my kith and kin tend to be from a wide array of beliefs. However, if you're making your own why not just send "Love" (unless you think that sounds way to "hippie") because everyone likes love. If you don't want it to be funny, that makes it harder. I like the "Joy" idea, and what about "All the best to you and yours"? I always liked that phrase for some reason.
posted by indiebass at 7:58 PM on November 30, 2004

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