Minding the gap year...
May 20, 2009 7:22 PM   Subscribe

I am at a crossroads in my life... I am a mid-20 something teacher at a high needs district. The stress is getting to me after only a couple of years. Help me decide whether or not to take a gap year.

I’ve been busy teaching for the past couple of years in a rural area and I’m going to have to decide whether or not to stay one more year or to head back home to the big city and spend a year getting my ducks in order and applying for grad school. I’m incredibly indecisive about this, and can’t decide for the life of me. The change would mean moving away from where I’ve been for the past couple of years, to a home where I have lots of friends and family, but I would be leaving my serious boyfriend of a year behind (he plans on joining me when he finishes his schooling in a year). I’ve been thinking, and here’s what my thoughts are on the gap year:

Pros: Time to decompress and reconnect with friends and family; free time to apply for grad school and a chance to do research to figure out what branch of science I really want to go into. I figure I can spend my extra time making money, volunteering, and traveling to see friends. I’m also excited to be in a town with things to do.

Cons: Money. Even though I could live rent free, I would most likely not find a great job in this economy (whereas continuing my teaching career would allow me to save up money for later/traveling). Besides that, I would miss my students incredibly (not so much teaching them, mind you, but I feel like I’m “giving up” on them like so many of their other teachers). Without teaching (or another fulfilling career), I’m afraid I’ll stagnate or get lazy without a purpose and daily activities. Also there’s the boyfriend that I’m leaving behind, but I’m hopeful that we can stay fairly connected via technology.

Help me out hivemind. Have you taken a gap year (or know someone who has)? Was it worth it, financially, emotionally, or otherwise? What did you do to keep yourself motivated and busy? Thank you in advance for your help!
posted by karyotypical to Work & Money (9 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: This is one of those "did I write this?" posts for me. I only taught for a year, and I had already completed grad school, but here are my main (pessimistic & optimistic) advice nuggets:

Doom&Gloom: Do your absolute best to set up something that will provide income within months after you stop teaching (if you do). I leaped blindly away from teaching, but into the boredom/feelinguseless/why-won't-anyone-see-that-i-can-do-a-different-job-than-teaching abyss, and I still shudder when I remember it...it was scary.

Silver Lining: I've spent more than a year (semi)long distance from my boyfriend and we are surviving; based on all the LDR threads around, having a set time to live in the same place again is key.

I could write a lot more, but it's mostly my own anecdotal stuff, so you can me-mail if you like.

Good Luck !
posted by hellogoodbye at 7:53 PM on May 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm not in your shoes so I really can't say. But maybe if you spent one more year where you're at, and then took a break, it would be that much sweeter.
posted by metastability at 7:55 PM on May 20, 2009


I'm not a teacher, so I'm not in your shoes. I can't even say I've been in a particularly similar situation when I worked, other than needing to work longer than I wanted at the job I was doing, in order to save money.

One thing I think you should keep in mind, though... Unless you've visited back home a number of times since your move to the boonies, your family will have changed a little. And your friends, though you may still talk to them via phone or email, have likely moved on to some degree. If it is the case that you've not been back much, I think you need to pull through the next year with your boyfriend.

The grass may indeed seem a little bit greener in some ways on the other side. However, if the above applies to your situation, I think you risk moving (back) to a place where you feel a little alienated, though surrounded by people you know, as well as risk straining what sounds like a good relationship.

Have you thought of doing more part-time teaching, if that's an option? You could spend the other half of your employed week doing some other job.
posted by metalheart at 9:47 PM on May 20, 2009


It seems like the best idea would be to pull through the next year with your boyfriend, as well, and then you'll be together and can make a joint decision from. Also, you'd have an end date in your head, and that'd probably make it easier for you to tolerate your job. You'd also have plenty of time to work on your applications or decide what you and the BF want to do next. In addition, you'd avoid what could be a weird gap on your resume history. Is there anything you can do in your free time (apart from deciding what you want to do next) that will help the next year go a little better for you, emotionally? Or are you close enough to a big city where you can perhaps plan "I gotta get out of Dodge" weekends for a mental break?
posted by Dukat at 1:18 AM on May 21, 2009


Best answer: I feel like you already know what your gut is telling you. The economy will get better. Your boyfriend will manage. The students? They'll definitely move on. If you feel like you're at a crossroads in life, and feel this would be a great way to recharge, do it. Especially if money is not an issue.

But just before you do that, two questions. First, why do you want to move back? Could it be feelings of nostalgia to those better times, a need to be back in your comfort zone? And in your previous breaks, had you really taken advantage of every moment with volunteering, traveling, etc or was there a lot of dead time? I know that may be tough to accept, but like mentioned, going back won't be like it was before, and it may be way more challenging but rewarding in the long run to build an even better experience right where you are right now with your boyfriend. Second, why do you want to go back to grad school? If it's primarily for career advancement, you would be way better off doing all of the application, exams, preparation, etc while you're working and then leaving right before you start again.
posted by coffeecold at 5:24 AM on May 21, 2009


Response by poster: I feel like I have a pretty healthy view on things back home... I definitely know that things will not be that much better, but at the same time, I do feel that things will be less stressful. I definitely agree with coffeecold that I feel like my gut is telling me to leave, but I also know that sometimes sticking things out is the best thing to do financially. Another factor, if it makes a difference, is that many of my fellow friends are leaving, so even if I stay, I will be losing my main social group. As far as waiting another year and then taking a break, I really want to get started back into academia, so I want to start grad school next year.

For anyone who knows, does it really look that bad on a resume to have a year long gap?
posted by karyotypical at 6:22 AM on May 21, 2009


Best answer: When I left my last teaching job, I gave notice a few weeks before the end of the year--even though I had no plans or job offers--because I wanted to make it easier on the school to find a replacement for me.

I spent the summer in a state of panic, searching for a job before my summer paychecks ran out. I found something I liked, but it took a while. It would have been better for me if I had given notice when it was convenient for me, not when it was convenient for the school.

If you're feeling similar pressure to make a decision now because it's the end of the year, remember that you don't need to let the school year dictate when you make your move. There are lots of people looking for teaching jobs. If you decide to leave mid-year, one of them will be happy to take over your classes, and your students will be not be scarred for life as a result.
posted by TEA at 6:32 AM on May 21, 2009


Best answer: Hello me.

I took a year away from the classroom this year. It has helped me turn back into a person, I've had time to do some other projects and travel, and it was generally pretty relaxing. I did have time to reconnect with friends and even make new ones, which I hadn't done since college and which I had been missing.

I also manged to find part-time work that pays the bills (TAing a university class and tutoring kids 1-1) so I am not worrying about money, and honestly even in this economy you may not need to worry either. The unemployment rate for people with college degrees is much lower than the overall rate, and I've found that there is a lot of part-time work to be found for teachers. Look into Supplemental Educational Services tutoring (the kind that NCLB pays for). I also found it easier to spend less money when not working full-time. I don't eat out as much, don't need nice clothes, and don't need to buy stuff for my classroom.

Was this the most productive year ever? No. Did I spend some time feeling useless? Yes. But I also had a lot of time to reflect on my three super-stressful years teaching and after all that, I realized that I want to go back to it.

I think the long-distance relationship would kill me, but it isn't clear from your post why your gap year would need to be in the big city away from your bf. If you don't have a full-time job it might be pretty easy to split your time between the fun of the city and being with him.

So, in short, if you are feeling burned out, you should do what you need to do to feel better.
posted by mai at 9:01 AM on May 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


A one-year gap is nothing. Teacher burn-out is incredibly common, especially among new teachers. You can't pick and choose as much as the more experienced teachers and so you tend to land the more challenging situations.

It is also, as hellogoodbye writes,incredibly scary to be "out there" again, and you might consider substituting in your "big city" to make sure you can get those bills paid during your gap year. You will find the stress considerably lower and it will also help you feel like you are doing something, not just in limbo, which could lead to depression about whether you've made the right decision. We're always second-guessing ourselves, but for what's it worth, I think going home is the right choice. Sticking it out when you are already overwhelmed would just be an exercise in futility at this point.
posted by misha at 9:37 AM on May 21, 2009


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