Personal Lubricant
November 25, 2004 5:17 PM   Subscribe

I'm looking for recommendations for a personal lubricant that can safely be ingested, and most importantly, is tasteless and *truly* has no aftertaste. I've wasted all my money...
posted by anonymous to Shopping (14 answers total)
The only substance I can think of that meets your requirements is water.

Clear unflavored gelatin is probably your closest next best bet.

I'm curious to know what you're going to do with it, but obviously you can't reply.
posted by ikkyu2 at 8:13 PM on November 25, 2004

dirty, dirty! (deliciously jumping to conclusions) ;p If you are using the lubricant for a dry mouth, I swear there's a product that simulates oral saliva. It's for old people, or people with dentures. Okay, found it: biotene it's called. I'm sure there are many more, but you can google this yourself. I did "saliva substitute" in google and came up with plenty. Can't recommend because i've never used it.

For sexual aids, i guess you could try butter. Or some kind of cooking oil? Lard? (trying to brainstorm with the 'edible' aspect in mind, but don't know if these have aftertastes). But i also vaguely recall that some of these have substances that breakdown the material in condoms. Also, I read a book once where a prostitute used raw egg whites as lubricant, but that would probably have salmonella or something.
posted by naxosaxur at 9:22 PM on November 25, 2004

a number of the friendlier, cleaner sex shops (e.g. good vibrations or toys in babeland) put an array of lubes out on a shelf for you to sample. ymmv, but i've never found one that doesn't coat your tongue or taste gross. sorry...
posted by equipoise at 9:34 PM on November 25, 2004

No complaints about Astroglide here....:)
posted by Lynsey at 9:46 PM on November 25, 2004

Wait a minute - since when did Astroglide have any more aftertaste than, say, well...nevermind.

On preview, what Lynsey said.
posted by docpops at 9:47 PM on November 25, 2004

Also, I read a book once where a prostitute used raw egg whites as lubricant, but that would probably have salmonella or something.

Raw egg whites can be used as lubricant, especially with a condom (no oil-based crap, for the love of pete!), but that doesn't meet your no-aftertaste criteria.

Honestly, the best lube is your saliva. You can start the manufacturing process very quickly by drinking water or any other drink with a sugar in it, about 15 minutes before you need it. Just stay away from alcoholic beverages- these will dehydrate instead.

Now, if you're looking for something other than spit, I'd recommend 'Wet' brand lube. I like the flavored stuff, but they do have an unflavored variety, made just for you.

On a link search, I found this. I think it will meet your needs.
posted by id at 10:02 PM on November 25, 2004

Second or third on Astroglide. Beautiful stuff that is.
posted by dflemingdotorg at 10:08 PM on November 25, 2004

What you want is Slippery Stuff.
posted by Caviar at 11:00 PM on November 25, 2004

Extra virgin olive oil?
posted by fixedgear at 5:36 AM on November 26, 2004

Astroglide is indeed great stuff, but it definitely isn't tasteless. I just went and tasted some in order to provide an extra-accurate description, and it's sweet with a tangy and slightly acrid finish (sort of like... um... never mind).
posted by purplemonkie at 6:10 AM on November 26, 2004

purplemonkie, I never had any complaints and I have been using it for years now. I just tasted a bit of it and I can't taste what you say you did. hence, I really second the Astroglide suggestion, it works amazingly well and has no taste. it is by far my personal favorite lubricant, with and without condoms. as I said, it has no flavor.

by the way, since we're all writing non-anonymously here I don't see why you couldn't have done the same, o anonymous friend. we're talking lubricants here, nothing to be ashamed of. fuck sores are certainly more embarrassing than a discussion about lubricants.
posted by matteo at 10:06 AM on November 26, 2004

on second thought: are you talking about standard AG or the AG gel? because I have never used the gel, nor tasted it. people seem to prefer the gel because it isn't as runny as the classic formula, but actually only a few drops of the extremeeeeeeeeeeeeeeely runny original formula are necessary to achieve slippery results
posted by matteo at 11:24 AM on November 26, 2004

Matteo, I too was talking about standard Astroglide. To me, it has an unmistakable flavor (though it doesn't really bother me). I guess it just varies from person to person... I have a very sensitive taster.
posted by purplemonkie at 11:32 AM on November 26, 2004

Not to be (too) pedantic, but egg whites are sterile. The salmonella problem with eggs would be on the outside of the shell. Wash well, pat dry, & viola.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 2:27 PM on November 26, 2004

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