How can I warm or otherwise mitigate my cold dead hands vs. my loved ones?

April 28, 2009 7:54 AM

My long, thin, bony fingers do not retain heat. Quite conversely, they could be considered 10 deceivingly flesh covered dry ice appendages. With a baby rapidly on the way, does the hive mind have any suggestions or advice on how I might hold the baby without making him miserable?

It's never been enough to bother me, in fact I rarely notice it, but boy, my wife has! After peeling her off the ceiling on more than one occasion, I've tried rubbing, running hot water over, breathing into, etc. Can't help it. I must moonlight as the angel of death while I'm sleeping.

Anyhoo, I wouldn't fret much about it, except I've just realized that while I can soothe and apologize to adults, the baby's not going to be too happy about it. Short of limiting interaction to a thick blanket betwixt us, y'all have any ideas?

posted by cavalier to Health & Fitness (18 answers total)

Perhaps wearing a sweater (in winter), or long-sleeved shirt in the summer will make your body, and therefore also your fingers, warmer? Regular exercise might also help, and keeping the thermostat not too cool inside - not less than 68 F in winter, and not less than 73 or so in summer.
posted by cahlers at 8:00 AM on April 28, 2009

I have a miserable case of this (you might want to check out Raynaud's). The baby doesn't seem to care. When they're really super frozen stiff and useless, I just hold him by clothed/diapered areas.

(the best cure I've found is to find somewhere warm on the wife, try to outlast the screams and thrashing, and wait for warmth to return...slowly)
posted by Dr.Enormous at 8:01 AM on April 28, 2009

Yes, definitely rule out Raynaud's syndrome with your physician.
posted by cahlers at 8:03 AM on April 28, 2009

Best answer: Your fingers are colder than the rest of your body because they are more exposed to the air and farther away from the core of your body. If you hold them against a warmer part of your body (such as your stomach) for a while they should warm up fairly quickly.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:06 AM on April 28, 2009

Nthing the pain-in-the-hands that is Raynaud's, also perhaps get checked for an iron or other nutritional deficiency? If you smoke, that does no favors for your circulation either.

Arm windmills and eating spicy food helps me keep my blood moving.
posted by desuetude at 8:09 AM on April 28, 2009

Response by poster: Gosh, a disorder! I'll look into that. I'm thankful to not experience any pain or paleness etcetera, and maybe burnmp3s has it more on the head.... it's just remarkable that in a relatively modest room temperature that I'm able to sub-20 degrees the folks around me. Heh.

Stomach idea seems to be working a trick! Definitely get a better appreciation for how my wife feels at the same time... yow!
posted by cavalier at 8:12 AM on April 28, 2009

Best answer: When I went canyoning in Switzerland, they taught us a neat-o trick to keep your hands warm(or not frozen, at least):
While standing upright with your arms hanging down your sides, raise your shoulders as high as you can, then drop them down quickly. You should feel kind of a pulse in your hands as blood rushes into them. You can do this 3-5 times in a row, and it actually worked in glacial run-off to keep your hands from becoming useless! I think it literally forces blood from your (hopefully warmer) arms down into your hands.
posted by Grither at 8:14 AM on April 28, 2009 [6 favorites]

The best way to warm up your hands in a hurry is to hold them under your armpits, kneepits, in between your thighs or the thighs of others. Also, clenching and unclenching your hands may force the blood into your fingers. Good luck, I know it isn't easy.
posted by cranberrymonger at 8:27 AM on April 28, 2009

Check into a anemia and find out what your red blood cell count is.

My former roommate had a similar issue. She is slightly anemic and a few months ago while in the hospital for an unrelated illness, recieved a red pack (basically blood that has had the plasma vastly reduced, leaving huge amounts of hemoglobin per volume). After that her hands were warm for the first time that she could remember. The effect lasted weeks if not months.
posted by thekiltedwonder at 8:27 AM on April 28, 2009

I think burnmp3s has it as far as the reason why the fingers are going to be colder. If it's practical and not too uncomfortable, maybe take to wearing fingerless gloves all the time to try to raise the temperature of your hands? You could also pretend your kid is Oliver Twist and talk to him with a Dickensian accent (though that's just proper accompaniment for the fingerless gloves, nothing to do with the temperature thing).

I actually have the complete opposite problem with body temperature; an ex-girlfriend referred to me as "The Radiator".
posted by XMLicious at 8:28 AM on April 28, 2009

Try drinking ginger tea. I get really cold in my office and that warms me right up--too much so, sometimes.
posted by HotToddy at 8:41 AM on April 28, 2009

I put my baby inside my shirt and hold him from the outside of it. The cloth keeps my cold hands off him.
posted by debbie_ann at 8:59 AM on April 28, 2009

Regarding bairn handling; your little one will be well wrapped up whenever it is cold and shouldnt feel your icy fingers.

The only time they will be unwrapped enough to feel your fingers is in a lovely warm environment (I would say a lovely warm room but I believe there are parts of the world where it is warm enough outside not to need heating)(it's been a long winter). You might have to take a minute or two to let the warmth reach your extremities before you handle said bairn, but once you have aclimatised you and bairn should be able to get on fine.

Having said all that, mine seems to be remarkeably tolerant to minor discomforts like that. I just dont think cold fingers rate particularly high on the scale of things-which-piss-babies-off.
posted by BadMiker at 9:12 AM on April 28, 2009

I have a similar problem and it was never an issue with my daughter. The baby will recognize your love and learn to cope with your cold hands. No worries.
posted by spakto at 9:36 AM on April 28, 2009

Doing cardio sports like running a few times a week raises your basic metabolism and makes your core temperature warmer.
posted by jouke at 9:41 AM on April 28, 2009

Speaking from the other side of things, I grew up with a mother who had freezing hands. I know I probably didn't like it as an infant and I remember squealing when she would brush my hair, address boo boos, etc as a kid. Eventually I just got used to it.

Luckily, she embodies the saying "Cold hands, warm heart." My dad and I see it as an endearing part of her and I will still grab her hands to warm them up on a cold day. If all else fails, your wife will soon give birth to the best hand warmer yet!*

*Please note I do not advocate having children purely for use as hand warmers.
posted by annaramma at 9:47 AM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

If the baby seems to mind your cold undead fingers, fingerless cotton gloves might help warm your hands. Do get checked out, it could be thyroid, or one of the other things mentioned.
posted by theora55 at 10:39 AM on April 28, 2009

Along the lines of what Grither said:

A frostbite-fighting technique I learned when I went dogsledding last winter was to hang your arms at your sides and swing them back and forth as hard as you can. If you do it fast enough, you should feel the ends of your fingers swell slightly. If your hands are numb from extreme cold, a good twenty to thirty seconds of this will warm them right up. For you, being already inside at room temperature, a few vigorous swings should do the trick.
posted by Commander Rachek at 4:22 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]