Is there an atheist version of "God Bless You" or "You are in my prayers"?
April 23, 2009 5:47 PM Subscribe
Is there an atheist version of "God Bless You" or "You are in my prayers"?
I usually use "You are in my thoughts" or "Best Wishes" but I am looking for alternatives. Also for people who sneeze alternatives to "Bless You" I usually use "Stop That".
I usually use "You are in my thoughts" or "Best Wishes" but I am looking for alternatives. Also for people who sneeze alternatives to "Bless You" I usually use "Stop That".
Gesundheit and salud mean "health." That's pretty atheist.
posted by amro at 5:50 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by amro at 5:50 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
I usually say "I'll keep a good thought for you"; similar to "you are in my thoughts" but more well-wishing... I got it from NYPD Blue of all places, it was the non-denominational sympathy statement of the cops on that show most episodes. But I've taken to it.
posted by arniec at 5:51 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by arniec at 5:51 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
I usually say something along the lines of "I'm sending postive energy/thoughts your way." - When people sneeze I make jokes.
posted by bigmusic at 5:51 PM on April 23, 2009
posted by bigmusic at 5:51 PM on April 23, 2009
Re: the latter: Gesundheit.
For the former, it depends on the context. Things to say instead of Good Luck was a pretty long thread and may have some suggestions there.
posted by cobaltnine at 5:52 PM on April 23, 2009
For the former, it depends on the context. Things to say instead of Good Luck was a pretty long thread and may have some suggestions there.
posted by cobaltnine at 5:52 PM on April 23, 2009
Well, on that episode of Seinfeld, when someone sneezed they said "you are so good-lookin'".
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 5:53 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 5:53 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
I usually say "You'll be in my thoughts" when someone's... in my thoughts.
My college professor used to say "Go to Hell!" in a rather angry voice when someone sneezed. I'm not saying that's a good idea, though.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 5:58 PM on April 23, 2009 [6 favorites]
My college professor used to say "Go to Hell!" in a rather angry voice when someone sneezed. I'm not saying that's a good idea, though.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 5:58 PM on April 23, 2009 [6 favorites]
When people sneeze I usually say, "Hail Satan!"
This has thus far made me -9 friends.
posted by popechunk at 6:02 PM on April 23, 2009 [10 favorites]
This has thus far made me -9 friends.
posted by popechunk at 6:02 PM on April 23, 2009 [10 favorites]
I do not say anything; I just hand them a tissue. That's one of the things being an atheist means to me.
posted by adipocere at 6:03 PM on April 23, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by adipocere at 6:03 PM on April 23, 2009 [7 favorites]
Another "Gesundheit" here. "Good health" seems a much more appropriate thing to say to a sneezer. It's become the mental default. I say it without even thinking.
posted by SansPoint at 6:09 PM on April 23, 2009
posted by SansPoint at 6:09 PM on April 23, 2009
For 99% of the population, I don't say anything. If for some reason it looks like I'm really expected to say something, I'll say "gesundheit". For my fiancee, who is weirded out by the not-saying-anything, I say "you exploded!".
posted by equalpants at 6:14 PM on April 23, 2009 [12 favorites]
posted by equalpants at 6:14 PM on April 23, 2009 [12 favorites]
I say "I'm so sorry for your trouble" (ironically a traditional Irish Catholic sentiment) and Gesundheit or Bless you, but I don't care about casual expressions of religious sentiment outside of a church or temple or mosque (in which I try to balance going through the motions with not pretending to a religious belief- ie. I stand up and sit down at a funeral mass at the appropriate points, but don't cross myself or go up for communion or do the stations of the cross- coming from mostly Irish Catholic stock I've knelt down if front of many an open casket and just tried to think good thoughts and say I'll miss you), I think faking it in formal situations is rude towards people who do believe, but otherwise it's just manners and shouldn't affect your own beliefs, but then again I believe the whole point of atheism is that one shouldn't hold to a fixed set of rules surrounding dogmatic belief.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:15 PM on April 23, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:15 PM on April 23, 2009 [3 favorites]
I'm more a weak agnostic than anything, but fwiw I'd cast my vote for "gesundheit" too and have never had any problems with that.
As far as an alternative to "you are in my prayers" goes, it really depends on who the person is, what my relationship with them is, and what the circumstances are - "I'll be thinking of you" is my knee-jerk default, but generally in situations where I genuinely want someone to know I wish them well, are concerned about them, want to support them, etc, then I focus more on trying to demonstrate that than on figuring out a pat phrase to give them. It means a lot more in the long run (I hope!), and saves me the stress of trying to figure out an honest but formulaic phrase to convey something that oftentimes is more easily conveyed through actions anyway ...
posted by DingoMutt at 6:19 PM on April 23, 2009
As far as an alternative to "you are in my prayers" goes, it really depends on who the person is, what my relationship with them is, and what the circumstances are - "I'll be thinking of you" is my knee-jerk default, but generally in situations where I genuinely want someone to know I wish them well, are concerned about them, want to support them, etc, then I focus more on trying to demonstrate that than on figuring out a pat phrase to give them. It means a lot more in the long run (I hope!), and saves me the stress of trying to figure out an honest but formulaic phrase to convey something that oftentimes is more easily conveyed through actions anyway ...
posted by DingoMutt at 6:19 PM on April 23, 2009
When someone sneezes, I usually say "Did you see that?" If someone is very healthy, or very dumb, this can go on for many years.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 6:31 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 6:31 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
"break a leg" for light-hearted things usually works. for serious things, "you're in my thoughts" or the like.
posted by paultopia at 6:34 PM on April 23, 2009
posted by paultopia at 6:34 PM on April 23, 2009
Best answer: "The cold, vast universe is indifferent to your sneeze."
posted by The Deej at 6:58 PM on April 23, 2009 [26 favorites]
posted by The Deej at 6:58 PM on April 23, 2009 [26 favorites]
I say Godzilla ("Go-Zirrah!) when my husband sneezes.
posted by krix at 7:07 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by krix at 7:07 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
Snap your fingers. (I picked up this response while working in a client's office last fall.)
posted by timing at 7:09 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by timing at 7:09 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
santé is French for health; colloquially "to your health". I say that when people sneeze, if I say anything at all. For some reason, to have any sort of remark for a sneeze, but ignoring every other bodily noise a person makes struck me as funny and making little sense.
posted by thatbrunette at 7:44 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by thatbrunette at 7:44 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
I usually say something along the lines of "I'm sending postive energy/thoughts your way."
I know someone who says this. I always think he's an asshat. My thought is, "You might as well be a religionist, if you're going to bandy magical-thinking thoughts about. At least then you'd have history, too."
My ex-wife (like me, an atheist) would (comically) answer a sneeze with a run-together "I-acknowledge-your-sneeze-and-wish-you-good-health!" But I don't think you were really asking about sneezes, right?
I just say "Peace". It's dated, but it sums it up for me. I used to say "Fair winds", but then realized that was way more asshattish than sending magical vibrations towards someone.
posted by quarantine at 7:45 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
I know someone who says this. I always think he's an asshat. My thought is, "You might as well be a religionist, if you're going to bandy magical-thinking thoughts about. At least then you'd have history, too."
My ex-wife (like me, an atheist) would (comically) answer a sneeze with a run-together "I-acknowledge-your-sneeze-and-wish-you-good-health!" But I don't think you were really asking about sneezes, right?
I just say "Peace". It's dated, but it sums it up for me. I used to say "Fair winds", but then realized that was way more asshattish than sending magical vibrations towards someone.
posted by quarantine at 7:45 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
It's perfectly acceptable to say "bless you" without invoking god or without offering it under a religious connotation. To "bless" someone, in it's very basic sense, is to confer good things and good wishes upon them.
posted by amyms at 7:54 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by amyms at 7:54 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
"We are being digested by an amoral universe."
(via)
posted by martens at 8:18 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
(via)
posted by martens at 8:18 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's customary in Chinese culture to wish someone "good luck" when they sneeze. It's my particular choice - my job requires a level of submissiveness to idiotic rules of etiquette like acknowledging a sneeze.
posted by TheNewWazoo at 8:22 PM on April 23, 2009
posted by TheNewWazoo at 8:22 PM on April 23, 2009
Best answer: I just say what I feel. If I hope things go better for the person I say, "I hope it works out for you."
"You are in my thoughts" has always sounded generic and insincere to me.
posted by wastelands at 8:49 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
"You are in my thoughts" has always sounded generic and insincere to me.
posted by wastelands at 8:49 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
Best answer: The premise, presumably, is hearing something not so great about the other person. I think chrisamiller has the definitive list of unexceptionable alternatives for non-sneezing occasion: "take care," "best wishes," "best of luck." Maybe "I'll be thinking of you" too.
I agree that references to "positive energy" or "good vibes" or "so it goes" or "peace" or "long may you run" might strike me as interesting/throwback things to say, but there's also a risk that I'd want to smack the person upside the head, depending on how bad I'm feeling and how ironic or laconic the speaker was being.
I think the trick is to say something that sounds genuine and without conceit in response to someone's troubles. Saying something distinctive, unless it really appears adapted to the listener's circumstance, is a leading signal that the speaker is more concerned with herself.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 8:53 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
I agree that references to "positive energy" or "good vibes" or "so it goes" or "peace" or "long may you run" might strike me as interesting/throwback things to say, but there's also a risk that I'd want to smack the person upside the head, depending on how bad I'm feeling and how ironic or laconic the speaker was being.
I think the trick is to say something that sounds genuine and without conceit in response to someone's troubles. Saying something distinctive, unless it really appears adapted to the listener's circumstance, is a leading signal that the speaker is more concerned with herself.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 8:53 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
Generally, I use "Be well" which implies both physical and mental wellbeing.
As for sneezes, I'm a "gezundheit"-er, when I acknowledge it.
posted by birdsquared at 10:36 PM on April 23, 2009
As for sneezes, I'm a "gezundheit"-er, when I acknowledge it.
posted by birdsquared at 10:36 PM on April 23, 2009
I'm about as atheist as they come and I still say things like "jesus christ" and "oh my god" all the time. Sometimes I become conscious of it and think I should cut it out, but it never sticks. They're just expressions, not actual expressions of religiosity.
I agree that "you'll be in my prayers" is a bit thick with religious connotations for an atheist to use, I generally just say "take care". No need to get too fancy, you run the risk of coming off as a prat.
posted by cj_ at 10:39 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
I agree that "you'll be in my prayers" is a bit thick with religious connotations for an atheist to use, I generally just say "take care". No need to get too fancy, you run the risk of coming off as a prat.
posted by cj_ at 10:39 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
My wacky french existentialist French teacher - who wore the same black suit and white shirt, every single day of the year, I swear - with this crazy Don King style hairdo, used to shout, on the top of his lungs "L'ORGASME DES PAUVRES!" whenever someone sneezed in our class. Let me tell you, this is scary stuff when you are 13 years old. I mean, he even pulled this, when you were in the class ALONE with him. Still, he made me read Baudelaire , though, for which I am grateful.
posted by ouke at 1:22 AM on April 24, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by ouke at 1:22 AM on April 24, 2009 [5 favorites]
Usually I ask "did you have a good sneeze?" I mean it, too; I find it very interesting if someone enjoys their sneezes or not. My mother hates them, my best friend finds them painful at times, I find them highly satisfying but occasionally eye watering. I get lots of nice responses to my query, too. They vary from "Oh, yes, I feel so much better now, thanks for asking!" to "Ugh, sneezes make me all itchy, thanks for your concern." But invariably it is interpreted positively, with the occasional pause for comprehension beforehand.
I am one of those annoying people who say "So it goes" in times required of sympathy, but, like my sincerity with the sneeze thing, I actually mean it, so it usually comes off all right. When talking to especially sad people who shouldn't be confronted with the inevitable heat death of the universe at the time, I say "I'm so sorry to hear that. But I'm sure you can get through this/will be okay given time/can turn things around soon." Since the point of the exchange is to acknowledge them and express solidarity, that is what I try to do.
posted by Mizu at 3:11 AM on April 24, 2009 [3 favorites]
I am one of those annoying people who say "So it goes" in times required of sympathy, but, like my sincerity with the sneeze thing, I actually mean it, so it usually comes off all right. When talking to especially sad people who shouldn't be confronted with the inevitable heat death of the universe at the time, I say "I'm so sorry to hear that. But I'm sure you can get through this/will be okay given time/can turn things around soon." Since the point of the exchange is to acknowledge them and express solidarity, that is what I try to do.
posted by Mizu at 3:11 AM on April 24, 2009 [3 favorites]
When sending correspondence (i.e. letter, card) I was always concerned about how to close the letter - LOVE, and then my name, was too intense or overkill and I hate anything signed FONDLY (sounds like you really are not sure if you even like the person). Although I have used the phrase "I have you in my thoughts and prayers" I can see where you would be uncomfortable with using this. My favorite phrase now is to always use >"I have you in my heart" and then sign my name - it seems appropriate for every card and letter I send where I want the person to know that they are important to me and their situation is a concern to me also.
posted by pamspanda at 3:31 AM on April 24, 2009
posted by pamspanda at 3:31 AM on April 24, 2009
I'm in for a "gesundheit".
As for the former, depends on the context. In the atheistic spirit (if I know the person), I'll say something along the lines of "That's tough, but you're a strong person and I know you can handle it" or "You have your family and I am here if you need some help/bounce ideas/an ear/a shoulder". Basically anything that changes "I'll ask god to help" to "You can do it/I'll help/Here are some real resources (family)".
posted by syntheticfaith at 5:53 AM on April 24, 2009
As for the former, depends on the context. In the atheistic spirit (if I know the person), I'll say something along the lines of "That's tough, but you're a strong person and I know you can handle it" or "You have your family and I am here if you need some help/bounce ideas/an ear/a shoulder". Basically anything that changes "I'll ask god to help" to "You can do it/I'll help/Here are some real resources (family)".
posted by syntheticfaith at 5:53 AM on April 24, 2009
"Gesundheit," for the sneeze and "I am so sorry, is there anything I can do? Do you need someone to walk the dog/make some casserole/do the laundry?" for bad news. Like adipocere, offering help is part of being an atheist, to me.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:09 AM on April 24, 2009
posted by arcticwoman at 6:09 AM on April 24, 2009
"You are in my thoughts" has always sounded generic and insincere to me.
Seconding that. I mean, Dick Cheney and internet porn are often "in my thoughts".
posted by rhymer at 6:31 AM on April 24, 2009 [1 favorite]
Seconding that. I mean, Dick Cheney and internet porn are often "in my thoughts".
posted by rhymer at 6:31 AM on April 24, 2009 [1 favorite]
What's insincere about telling someone you are thinking of them? The most basic communication one human being can make to another is "If you died, I would probably notice before the body started to stink too badly."
posted by selfmedicating at 7:10 AM on April 24, 2009
posted by selfmedicating at 7:10 AM on April 24, 2009
Athiest here - I say "salud" every time. I also live in Southern California so many native Spanish speakers say the same and it doesn't sound weird at all.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:31 AM on April 24, 2009
posted by Sophie1 at 8:31 AM on April 24, 2009
I'm pretty atheist and anti-religion myself. I still say "bless you" when there's a sneeze, fart, or burp. Tends to be rather comical in the last two instances.
For the other one, I usually say, "My thoughts and good ju-ju are with you."
posted by arishaun at 9:07 AM on April 24, 2009
For the other one, I usually say, "My thoughts and good ju-ju are with you."
posted by arishaun at 9:07 AM on April 24, 2009
"You are in my thoughts" has always sounded generic and insincere to me.
Seconding that. I mean, Dick Cheney and internet porn are often "in my thoughts"
This is precisely why it is generic but sincere. "You are in my thoughts" doesn't reveal the nature of the thoughts at all. It's like my favorite, "With all due respect" -- which I tend to utter when I have no respect for the prior commentator.
Though generic, I embrace this kind of saying because it's something that someone can genuinely make a representation about, and most people understand that it is meant to favor good thoughts, which is how it is almost invariably meant. Adding something like "good" thoughts is nice but unenforceable, and begs the question whether the thoughts would otherwise be more mixed.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 9:11 AM on April 24, 2009
Seconding that. I mean, Dick Cheney and internet porn are often "in my thoughts"
This is precisely why it is generic but sincere. "You are in my thoughts" doesn't reveal the nature of the thoughts at all. It's like my favorite, "With all due respect" -- which I tend to utter when I have no respect for the prior commentator.
Though generic, I embrace this kind of saying because it's something that someone can genuinely make a representation about, and most people understand that it is meant to favor good thoughts, which is how it is almost invariably meant. Adding something like "good" thoughts is nice but unenforceable, and begs the question whether the thoughts would otherwise be more mixed.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 9:11 AM on April 24, 2009
For the serious "you are in my prayers" moments, I always say "I'm wishing you (and your family/friend(s)) strength".
posted by lalochezia at 12:42 PM on April 24, 2009
posted by lalochezia at 12:42 PM on April 24, 2009
I am not an atheist, but I often offer a heartfelt "Take care, OK?" in situations where a more religious declaration would be risky.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 10:38 PM on April 25, 2009
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 10:38 PM on April 25, 2009
"I'll pray to science for you"
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 4:33 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 4:33 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
« Older OOP! There it is. OOP! There it is. | Help me figure out what do next talking to this... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by pullayup at 5:50 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]