How can I replicate the post-coital state without coitus?

April 14, 2009 8:43 PM

When I practice my shakuhachi (bamboo flute) I'm usually easily distracted, unfocussed, and lacking energy. However, I have excellent practice after orgasm. How can I replicate this without having sex with my wife before each practice/performance?

I am notoriously easily distracted. Lack of focus and energy are also big themes of my life, but the only time it really gets to me is when I practice shakuhachi. I really wish I could have better, more fun, more productive practices more often. This DOES happen when I practice after having an orgasm. However, I can't have sex with my wife whenever I need to practice, and anyway "Thanks honey, that was great. Gotta go practice now!" is not exactly a recipe for marital harmony. And, I'd prefer not to have to masturbate any time I want a good practice, either.

So how can I replicate what happens when I orgasm without actually orgasming? I think it's a physiological phenomenon, so there must be another way to get the same mental state.

posted by zachawry to Health & Fitness (12 answers total)

Maybe try to release some endorphins some other way - go on a good run or bike ride?
posted by mikepop at 8:48 PM on April 14, 2009

Seconding mikepop's answer. Vigorous exercise or strength training puts your body into a similar state after you've stopped. If that doesn't work for you, you might as well try masturbating beforehand anyway.
posted by tehloki at 8:53 PM on April 14, 2009

Often to reproduce a emotional or mental state, all that is required is to reproduce that state. Maybe remembering is too simple of a word. You should relive that state, mentally. What you are feeling physically, what you are thinking of, the way the room looked, what you heard and so on. It will take a few tries to get it right, but if you mentally have sex with your wife first before you practice I'm sure that you will be able to reproduce the same emotional/mental state that is helpful for you. It might be odd to say this, but the key is to practice getting into that state.
posted by bigmusic at 9:09 PM on April 14, 2009

Often to reproduce a emotional or mental state, all that is required is to reproduce that state.

should read:

Often to reproduce a emotional or mental state, all that is required is to remember that state.
posted by bigmusic at 9:10 PM on April 14, 2009

it's hard to know exactly what it is that's causing your focus after sex, so simply performing another endorphin releasing activity may not work.

try "pairing" another behavior / environmental factor(s) with your sexual experience and then using the "paired" behavior / factor(s) along with your flute practice to trick (actually, condition) your mind into that focused state.

this could spoil the state of your sexual relationship, but if you're creative and careful enough, it shouldn't be an issue...

for example, what behaviors typically lead up to your sexual encounters? anything predictable like mowing the lawn without a shirt? if so, go mow the lawn without your shirt on and then head in for flute practice.

what room do you typically have sex in and what are the lights, temperature, etc like? can you go to this room for a similar amount of time, without actually having sex, before heading off to flute practice...

etc.

etc.

so to summarize: identify something predictable in your sexual encounters and add that predictable factor to your flute practice routine.

classic conditioning
posted by eli_d at 10:25 PM on April 14, 2009

I practise shakuhachi in a park about 5 minutes' jogging time from my apartment, and I find that the mini-burst of exercise followed by a brief sitdown to enjoy the scenery and slow my breathing down really helps. It feels relaxing to just lie on the couch, but that really doesn't compare to genuine relaxation after actual physical activity in my experience. Seriously, my ro is totally different in the park than it is just messing around at home.
posted by No-sword at 4:25 AM on April 15, 2009

It could be the, uh, heavy breathing, not the actual endorphin release, that's helping you. So much of effective shaki playing is about breath control. Try some breathing exercises--or better yet, meditation--beforehand.
posted by availablelight at 4:47 AM on April 15, 2009

try chocolate!

Or why not masturbate?
posted by reddot at 8:04 AM on April 15, 2009

This is pretty funny considering shakuhachi can be a euphemism for oral sex in Japanese.
posted by robofunk at 8:23 AM on April 15, 2009

Look in to something meditative, such as Tai Chi, Qigong, or just meditation. These are exactly about calming and focusing the mind. You may have trouble really getting in to this but you should see an improvement in other areas of your life too.
posted by d4nj450n at 8:38 AM on April 15, 2009

Response by poster: Who knew so many shak players hang out on MF?

For those of you who do, here is a page of shakuhachi tips I've translated. Very useful for beginner to intermediate players.
posted by zachawry at 9:44 AM on April 15, 2009

I think it's a dopamine thing.

When the pre-frontal region of the cerebral cortex, which is generally involved in decision making and planning, determines that a particular motor activity will be executed, it sends activating signals to the motor cortices. The motor cortices send signals through the basal ganglia to refine the choice of muscles that will participate in the movement and to amplify the activity in the motor cortices that will drive the muscle contractions[4]. ...

The direct pathway passes through the caudate, putamen, and globus pallidus, which are parts of the basal ganglia. It also involves the substantia nigra, a part of the midbrain[2].

Critical neurons for the control of voluntary movement in the substantia nigra are dopaminergic. The tremors and spasms, as well as the difficulty initiating voluntary movement (and the difficulty stopping voluntary movement once it has begun) of Parkinson's disease are due to death-- and consequent dearth-- of dopamine neurons in the substantia nigra.

Orgasm releases a flood of dopamine:

Abundant evidence points to dopamine as the key neurotransmitter involved in stimulating orgasm in humans. Thus, administration of the dopamine precursor L-dopa, dopaminergic agonists (e.g. apomorphine), dopamine releasers (e.g. amphetamine), or dopamine reuptake inhibitors (e.g. cocaine or bupropion) facilitate the expression of orgasm in men and women. Conversely, administration of antipsychotics impair orgasm, by blocking postsynaptic dopamine receptors (see Komisaruk et al., 2006).

I think this flood of dopamine improves your ability to control the muscles involved in flute-playing very much in the way artificial supplies of dopamine precursors and agonists (such as L-dopa) improve the ability of Parkinson's sufferers to control their movements. Incidentally, I think the benefits of releasing a little extra dopamine are also behind the tendency people show of sticking their tongues out when they're concentrating on a difficult task (such as Michael Jordan did when making one of those improbable moves).

If you want to experiment on yourself-- a very dubious undertaking generally-- you could try using one of the 'L-dopa' patches developed a couple of years ago, and they might have a side benefit or two as well:

I was put on Dostinex for some time for a tumor.
Which I have to tell you did some pretty amazing things for my orgasm(s).. as in more than one, try four or five.
Dopamine. Wow.

I imagine the PGA, the NBA, and Major League Baseball are going to have to come up with a policy for dealing with dopamine enhancers sooner rather than later.
posted by jamjam at 10:27 AM on April 15, 2009 [3 favorites]