please don't fucking hate albany
February 28, 2009 8:47 PM Subscribe
Help me help my sister not hate Albany, NY
So I just got an e-mail from my sister. All it said was: "I FUCKING HATE ALBANY!"
My sister, her husband, and their 2-year old son moved to Albany late last summer. They moved so her husband could begin medical school, and their move was very last minute - packing up and moving everything in 3 weeks, with a toddler, and a couple of animals.
She doesn't like Albany, for a number of reasons. It's cold, wet, snowy, they live in the burbs, her husband is starting a new career and they're not making as much money because they have student loans and tuition to pay along with rent and all of your other usual expenses for a small family.
I don't want my sister to be unhappy. I don't know too much about the Albany area, but I would love any suggestions to make the next three years make their experience a happy and pleasant one. Sights, attractions, sanity tools, all would we welcome.
I don't live too far - in Boston, but I don't own a car and am finishing my last term of grad school, so it's not easy for met to get out there (train is 5-6 hours, bus is not much shorter). I also live in a studio apartment, so it's not very comfortable if they all visit my little place. I am also in the midst of job searching and interviewing, so making time to get together is difficult.
But I'll be leaving soon, and they'll be in the Albany area for a few more years. How can I help her have a better experience there? And make it home? And deal with the cold weather? And help her be happy there?
So I just got an e-mail from my sister. All it said was: "I FUCKING HATE ALBANY!"
My sister, her husband, and their 2-year old son moved to Albany late last summer. They moved so her husband could begin medical school, and their move was very last minute - packing up and moving everything in 3 weeks, with a toddler, and a couple of animals.
She doesn't like Albany, for a number of reasons. It's cold, wet, snowy, they live in the burbs, her husband is starting a new career and they're not making as much money because they have student loans and tuition to pay along with rent and all of your other usual expenses for a small family.
I don't want my sister to be unhappy. I don't know too much about the Albany area, but I would love any suggestions to make the next three years make their experience a happy and pleasant one. Sights, attractions, sanity tools, all would we welcome.
I don't live too far - in Boston, but I don't own a car and am finishing my last term of grad school, so it's not easy for met to get out there (train is 5-6 hours, bus is not much shorter). I also live in a studio apartment, so it's not very comfortable if they all visit my little place. I am also in the midst of job searching and interviewing, so making time to get together is difficult.
But I'll be leaving soon, and they'll be in the Albany area for a few more years. How can I help her have a better experience there? And make it home? And deal with the cold weather? And help her be happy there?
Woodstock isn't so far. Maybe a 40 minute ride away. A pleasant get away.
posted by watercarrier at 1:37 AM on March 1, 2009
posted by watercarrier at 1:37 AM on March 1, 2009
Hmm, I think this time of year is probably not a good time to pass judgement on any area that actually gets winter weather conditions. As spring approaches she'll be much more inclined to take the toddler and go out and explore and get to know her new location more and things will start to fall into place - she won't be miserable there for three years.
In the short term just be there for her by phone when she gets stressed/frustrated and encourage her to make friends locally - toddler groups or whatever to allow her to build up a network of people. Even if you really don't like a place if you have nice people around you it seems a lot less depressing.
posted by koahiatamadl at 4:23 AM on March 1, 2009
In the short term just be there for her by phone when she gets stressed/frustrated and encourage her to make friends locally - toddler groups or whatever to allow her to build up a network of people. Even if you really don't like a place if you have nice people around you it seems a lot less depressing.
posted by koahiatamadl at 4:23 AM on March 1, 2009
Response by poster: oflinkey, I noticed that thread as well, and there are some good ideas. But I'm not necessarily looking for whyAlbany is a cool place to live, but irrespective of this, how my sister can make it a better/sane place to live.
watercarrier and koahiatamadl - yeah, i think winter and the seasonal affective disorder is getting in their way of enjoying more of the beauty and things in the vicinity.
Does anyone have any ideas for inexpensive ways to meet other young parents/moms in the area? She is definitely not good at this, and is probably contributing to her miserable experience. She also has difficulty trusting other people, and letting their son stay with someone for a few hours while her and her husband get away or go on a "date" to enjoy some adult time.
posted by raztaj at 6:18 AM on March 1, 2009
watercarrier and koahiatamadl - yeah, i think winter and the seasonal affective disorder is getting in their way of enjoying more of the beauty and things in the vicinity.
Does anyone have any ideas for inexpensive ways to meet other young parents/moms in the area? She is definitely not good at this, and is probably contributing to her miserable experience. She also has difficulty trusting other people, and letting their son stay with someone for a few hours while her and her husband get away or go on a "date" to enjoy some adult time.
posted by raztaj at 6:18 AM on March 1, 2009
June is a beautiful month in upstate; no help now of course. And in October, well, ...!!!!
Tons and tons of outdoorsy and historic stuff to do: hiking, biking, skiing, museums, the Catskills, Thatcher Park, the Huyck Preserve, Olana, Broad Street in Hudson (beware of the rest of Hudson), drive to Cooperstown, Vermont (the Grandma Moses collection is in Bennington, I think, but definitely close by in Vermont), tons of small lakes, Blue Mountain Lake museum. :::jgirl runs over her summer vaycay wish-list:::
Try and hang in! The Albany 'burbs -- God, the poor thing! Perhaps some group related to her academic background? If she's interested in history and social anthropology, she can pick and choose.
Can you say which 'burb it is? Clifton Park, Loudonville, parts of Delmar are, shall we say, more literate.
posted by jgirl at 7:14 AM on March 1, 2009
Tons and tons of outdoorsy and historic stuff to do: hiking, biking, skiing, museums, the Catskills, Thatcher Park, the Huyck Preserve, Olana, Broad Street in Hudson (beware of the rest of Hudson), drive to Cooperstown, Vermont (the Grandma Moses collection is in Bennington, I think, but definitely close by in Vermont), tons of small lakes, Blue Mountain Lake museum. :::jgirl runs over her summer vaycay wish-list:::
Try and hang in! The Albany 'burbs -- God, the poor thing! Perhaps some group related to her academic background? If she's interested in history and social anthropology, she can pick and choose.
Can you say which 'burb it is? Clifton Park, Loudonville, parts of Delmar are, shall we say, more literate.
posted by jgirl at 7:14 AM on March 1, 2009
It's not all Albany's fault. A spouse in med school is not easy-breezy thing. (Sadly, depending on his specialty residency will be much, much worse.) She's isolated by the combination of having a spouse who sucked into the med school abyss, a toddler who's completely self absorbed, and a freezing cold environment where no one goes outside.
I doubt she needs places to go and much as she needs friends. Some med schools have networks for spouses - that might be good. Otherwise, she needs to look for organizations she can join - Mom's League, a church group, whatever. Encourage her to get out and meet people.
posted by 26.2 at 8:53 AM on March 1, 2009
I doubt she needs places to go and much as she needs friends. Some med schools have networks for spouses - that might be good. Otherwise, she needs to look for organizations she can join - Mom's League, a church group, whatever. Encourage her to get out and meet people.
posted by 26.2 at 8:53 AM on March 1, 2009
Saratoga is a lovely little town just north of Albany with a fantastic performing arts center (SPAC).
posted by bluesky43 at 9:36 AM on March 1, 2009
posted by bluesky43 at 9:36 AM on March 1, 2009
She could come visit Western Mass- I am currently in Williamstown for college, and it's only an hour drive from here to Albany. If she's into art and so forth, there are some good museums in the area. There's also some cool stuff in Bennington, although I'm less familiar with that area. Basically, little walkable college-towny areas abound just to her east.
Another thing might be doing outdoorsy things. I don't know if she's used to the cold, but I am definitely not and enjoyed going snowshoeing. Two years might be a little young, but I've personally fitted toddlers for snowshoes. They start them young here. And when it warms up a bit, the woods around here are gorgeous. Hiking up a mountain might require hiring a babysitter at this point, but it's a pretty fun thing to do.
posted by MadamM at 9:54 AM on March 1, 2009
Another thing might be doing outdoorsy things. I don't know if she's used to the cold, but I am definitely not and enjoyed going snowshoeing. Two years might be a little young, but I've personally fitted toddlers for snowshoes. They start them young here. And when it warms up a bit, the woods around here are gorgeous. Hiking up a mountain might require hiring a babysitter at this point, but it's a pretty fun thing to do.
posted by MadamM at 9:54 AM on March 1, 2009
A friend of mine teaches at the College of St. Rose and runs the reading series there. David Whathisname (I'm blanking and can't use control-T on the computer I'm using) who did Get Your War On read there last fall.
posted by brujita at 7:45 PM on March 1, 2009
posted by brujita at 7:45 PM on March 1, 2009
Sometimes people are called in to take some initiative and infuse a place with new energy. Maybe that's the real reason they're there. Suggest to her that she take some proactive steps on her own to improve her life there. Maybe she has a skill she can teach others. Maybe she can start an online group for specifically geared towards the women of Albany and surrounding area. Maybe she can volunteer at a hospice, animal shelter or kids' home. There are tons of opportunities she can create for herself and make wherever she is right now the place of her dreams.
posted by watercarrier at 1:13 AM on March 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by watercarrier at 1:13 AM on March 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
Does she have an interest in politics or social activism? Albany is the center of the NY Government, including the legislature. So there's definitely a lot of political activity she can be a part of.
If she has any particular causes or groups that she feels strongly about, maybe she can help co-ordinate lobbying efforts on their behalf?
I went to Albany once in order to lobby for campaign finance reform. The program was run by Democracy Matters. They have events in Albany, including a lobbying day. It might be worth checking out, even if campaign finance reform isn't her passion, since it gives you a good idea of how the process works.
Democracy in action can be fun. You can schedule appointments with New York State senators, who will listen to you pitch for 5 minutes or so about your cause, and will give you feedback as to why/why not they don't think they can help you, whether what your proposing is a good idea or unrealistic. Our group spoke to 3 or 4 senators, and they were all nice, even if they didn't agree with you.
But if there's any change you want to see made in New York State, Albany is the launching platform for it. Just a suggestion.
posted by HabeasCorpus at 8:20 AM on March 2, 2009
If she has any particular causes or groups that she feels strongly about, maybe she can help co-ordinate lobbying efforts on their behalf?
I went to Albany once in order to lobby for campaign finance reform. The program was run by Democracy Matters. They have events in Albany, including a lobbying day. It might be worth checking out, even if campaign finance reform isn't her passion, since it gives you a good idea of how the process works.
Democracy in action can be fun. You can schedule appointments with New York State senators, who will listen to you pitch for 5 minutes or so about your cause, and will give you feedback as to why/why not they don't think they can help you, whether what your proposing is a good idea or unrealistic. Our group spoke to 3 or 4 senators, and they were all nice, even if they didn't agree with you.
But if there's any change you want to see made in New York State, Albany is the launching platform for it. Just a suggestion.
posted by HabeasCorpus at 8:20 AM on March 2, 2009
Is your sister a planner? She might do well to draw up an annual fun calendar where she can earmark trips in the spring and summer, apple picking in the fall, and a trip right the hell out of Albany in the winter. Because honestly, that's what kept me sane while living up in that area: leaving for warmer and less awful climates in the middle of winter.
I used to live across the winter in Troy, NY, and in terms of cool things to explore, direct her to the Oakwood Cemetary. It's the most jaw-dropping of Troy's many historic cemetaries.
If she's at all outdoorsy, there's great hiking and paddling nearby once it stops spitting snow and ice. Grafton Lakes is good for low-key outdoorsy activities and it's nearby.
And yeah, she definitely should take advantage of the location and take a lot of side trips to western Mass (go to the Clark Art Institute in Williamstown), Vermont (Bennington! Or go a few more hours east and hit the Ben & Jerry's tour), Saratoga Springs, etc. Maybe even consider exploring the Adirondacks and becoming a 46er!
posted by sobell at 11:04 AM on March 2, 2009
I used to live across the winter in Troy, NY, and in terms of cool things to explore, direct her to the Oakwood Cemetary. It's the most jaw-dropping of Troy's many historic cemetaries.
If she's at all outdoorsy, there's great hiking and paddling nearby once it stops spitting snow and ice. Grafton Lakes is good for low-key outdoorsy activities and it's nearby.
And yeah, she definitely should take advantage of the location and take a lot of side trips to western Mass (go to the Clark Art Institute in Williamstown), Vermont (Bennington! Or go a few more hours east and hit the Ben & Jerry's tour), Saratoga Springs, etc. Maybe even consider exploring the Adirondacks and becoming a 46er!
posted by sobell at 11:04 AM on March 2, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by oflinkey at 9:22 PM on February 28, 2009