Books On Wives Abused As Children
December 21, 2008 6:39 PM   Subscribe

Asking for a patron: self-help books about coping with a spouse's NON-SEXUAL abuse as a child?

A patron (male) is looking for books that will help him deal with the effects his wife's emotional and physical abuse (by her parents and brother) as a child is having on their marriage.

I'm finding tons of stuff about dealing with one's own abuse, and books like this one that address partners who were abused-- except that the guy is adamant that his wife was not sexually abused, and I can see where books like these would have a somewhat different focus than those dealing strictly with non-sexual child abuse. I even found this one, but it's for women dealing with male partners who were abused, so it's not a great fit either.

I'll keep digging, but meantime, any suggestions?
posted by Rykey to Human Relations (2 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
if there was physical abuse, chances are high that there was emotional abuse. a lot of the helping partners through abuse books are certainly geared towards sexual abuse, but really - the focus is still on the emotional abuse. he might want to flip through some of the sexual abuse related ones, just to see if any behaviors or passages stick out or ring true to him.

otherwise, it looks like outgrowing the pain together might be a good one.

i'd suggest looking at cited works for the books - if courage to heal is on the list, stay away.
posted by nadawi at 10:19 AM on December 22, 2008

The book Trauma and Recovery was helpful to me as a person dating someone who'd suffered abuse, and the person in question said that it was the only book that seemed to be speaking to the emotional state they had experienced. It approaches the aftermath of abuse rather broadly, with the idea that different kinds of abuse (sexual, physical, political, etc) have more similarities than differences. It's not like it was a how-to guide for dealing with the situation, but it did help me cme to a greater understanding, I think. I recommend it.
posted by Greg Nog at 11:35 AM on December 22, 2008

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