How should I destroy my wedding ring?
November 6, 2008 9:22 AM   Subscribe

Give me some creative ideas for disposing of and/or destroying my wedding band.

My marriage has resulted in a train wreck and rather than just selling my wedding ring, it would make me feel much better to get rid of it in some epic way. Ideas?
posted by mikeo2 to Human Relations (52 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Ever see what happens to a penny that's left on top of a rail when a train goes past at slow speed?
posted by Class Goat at 9:30 AM on November 6, 2008

Acid bath?
Drop it into the Grand Canyon?
Put it in a clamp and go at it with a sledgehammer?

I'm not personally a huge fan of destruction; my tastes lean more toward selling it anyway, and donating the proceeds to something your ex hated.
posted by Tomorrowful at 9:31 AM on November 6, 2008 [4 favorites]

Sell it, give money to favorite charity. At least someone befits.
posted by eaglehound at 9:32 AM on November 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Sell it. Donate the money to a charity. Make it an otherwise worthy charity that she just happens to dislike (e.g. hates kids? --> Boys & Girls Club).
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:33 AM on November 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Benefits. At least someone benefits, I meant to say...
posted by eaglehound at 9:33 AM on November 6, 2008

The train tracks are indeed the traditional American method.

If you're up to some travel, you might check out the cracks of doom in Mordor... or something similarly volcanic but more accessible.
posted by rokusan at 9:34 AM on November 6, 2008

As a Tolkien nerd I've always wanted to cast a ring of some sort into a lake of fire. If that strikes your fancy, maybe you could look on Craigslist for an artist who works with metal who would be willing to let you go all Frodo on that motherf***er.
posted by mattholomew at 9:34 AM on November 6, 2008

Give it to a panhandler.
Crush it on some train tracks.
Cover it in thermite and vaporize it.
Take a vacation on your own to Hawaii and throw it into a volcano.
Purchase a high altitude weather balloon and send it into low orbit.
Donate it to a nearby high school science class for experimentation.
Grind it into powder, spread it upon water and force the Israelites to drink it.
Give to a proponent of tribal body-modification and tell them to go nuts.
Tie it to a piece of wire and drag it behind your car until nothing is left of it.
Hammer it into gold leaf, wrap the foil around a large firecracker (like an M-80), place the firecracker inside your wedding album, cover the whole thing in kerosene and throw it into a volcano.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:37 AM on November 6, 2008 [7 favorites]

Have John Rhys-Davies smash it with an axe.
posted by hallowdmachine at 9:38 AM on November 6, 2008

Or, do as Cool Papa Bell said. Sell it and donate the money to a charity your ex doesn't support.
posted by hallowdmachine at 9:40 AM on November 6, 2008

You could also take it to a jewelry designer and have it melted down, allowing you to make it into a new ring. Very transformative.

My mom did that with her wedding ring, and ended up with a BEAUTIFUL cocktail ring.
posted by answergrape at 9:40 AM on November 6, 2008

When we discussed this subject before, I told how I stood on the bridge out to Roosevelt Island the day I got officially divorced, contemplating the same thing, then threw my ring into the Potomac. Good fucking riddance.
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:42 AM on November 6, 2008

Tie it to a balloon and let it float away, hope it's found by someone who can make a better future with it. Put a note in the balloon saying, "Keep the ring. It's yours."

A jeweler should also have the equipment to melt it down. Take half price if he'll let you do it or if you can watch.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:43 AM on November 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Sell it, and leave a wedding present to a random married couple at your local registry office.
posted by Not Supplied at 9:46 AM on November 6, 2008

I felt the same way - I just couldn't bring myself to sell my ring, though I seriously considered it. My relationship ended in a spectacularly painful and dramatic way, and the ring had meant so much to me. I was overwhelmed with grief and I knew I needed to let it go in an appropriate and grounding way. I buried it in the ground in a forest.
posted by velvet winter at 9:57 AM on November 6, 2008

I like the idea of embedding it in a block of lucite as if it were an insect caught in amber. I can imagine someone going through your estate many years from now saying "what the hell is this?" and trying to make up a story to explain it.
posted by jamjam at 9:59 AM on November 6, 2008

If only you could swallow it... It wouldn't be that epic but rather Rabelaisian.

Otherwise, you could buy a wedding ring coffin.
posted by lucia__is__dada at 10:08 AM on November 6, 2008

This is actually kind of evil if you think about it, but give it to some random young couple in love that you see lip-locked somewhere. Be truthful and say something like, "My relationship failed but obviously you guys have a chance," give it to them and walk away. Don't look back. Depending on what goes through your head, it can be a vicarious bit of vengeance or closing the book on your pain with an act of kindness. Maybe you've just given them a priceless gift. Maybe you've sowed the seeds of doubt or set them on a destructive path. Who knows?
posted by elendil71 at 10:11 AM on November 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

melt it!

optionally, melt it and have a local jeweler do something interesting with the resulting blob.
posted by rmd1023 at 10:12 AM on November 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

will it blend
posted by birdlips at 10:12 AM on November 6, 2008

Melt it into a tear drop.
posted by hortense at 10:12 AM on November 6, 2008

I'm all for selling it and then giving the money away to something your Ex hates. The balloon idea is also a great one. Or you can sell it and then spend the money on something that you really like. Maybe a hobby that your ex hated?
posted by Mastercheddaar at 10:20 AM on November 6, 2008

Bury it at the beach with a note attached to it that says “Put the metal detector away and go find yourself a girlfriend.”
posted by bondcliff at 10:22 AM on November 6, 2008 [17 favorites]

The closer to 24k it is, the better bullet it'd make.

I guess going hunting bobcats with it would be excessive.
posted by codswallop at 10:25 AM on November 6, 2008

Intimate body jewelry for your new girlfriend.
posted by dinger at 10:35 AM on November 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Go to a local church or homeless shelter and donate it to them .They will be able to get money for it and then put that money to good use.
posted by majortom1981 at 10:41 AM on November 6, 2008

Have it cut in half and made into a pair of earrings. A coworker did that and they were pretty.
Have it melted down and made into a new ring or something. My Mom did that both times she divorced. The resulting rings are very different from the originals but very pretty.
posted by onhazier at 10:52 AM on November 6, 2008

My votes: Selling, donating, transforming, and turning it into an unrecognisable mass you can refer back to when contemplating giving in on future relationships.

I'm not into the balloon idea. At all.
posted by batmonkey at 10:54 AM on November 6, 2008 [2 favorites]

Don't make something and give it to your new girlfriend. My ex made our wedding ring with diamonds from an anniversary ring his father gave his mother; she gave it to my ex after their divorce. He didn't understand the Epic Symbolism Fail. The ring now sits in my jewelry box, minus two diamonds that made great studs for my second piercings.
posted by immlass at 10:55 AM on November 6, 2008

Write a secret regarding your marriage and/or divorce on a postcard. Attach ring securely. Send to PostSecret.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:56 AM on November 6, 2008 [3 favorites]

Sell it and use the money! How much do wedding rings cost? I can't imagine just throwing it away or destroying something that could fetch me some dollar bills.
posted by onepapertiger at 11:13 AM on November 6, 2008

Apparently gold can be dissolved in "one part nitric acid with three of hydrochloric acid". So dissolve the ring, neutralize the acid, mix it into a dry martini and drink deep.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:16 AM on November 6, 2008

You might be able to melt it down into different objects:

A sphere.
A die.
A really small (model) sword.

Although, I also like the bullet idea...
posted by 47triple2 at 11:17 AM on November 6, 2008

Codswallop: what about hunting cougars?
posted by autojack at 11:26 AM on November 6, 2008 [2 favorites]

Best answer: The ocean nullifies all things, good and bad, and so is a great disposal method for bad juju.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:45 AM on November 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Set up a really intricate scavenger hunt that begins in some public place and forces the discoverer to solve a bunch of riddles and mysteries before finally making it to the ring at the end! I sure would enjoy a good mystery like that...

Or you could have "One ring to rule them all..." etc. engraved into the ring in Elvish and toss it into a river. Old school...
posted by Glendale at 12:00 PM on November 6, 2008

The Doge of Venice used to marry the sea by casting a ring into the waters. Do this, and you have an excuse not to marry ever again - 'I love you, but I'm married to the sea!"

Alternatively, if gay marriage is something you care about, sell the ring and donate the proceeds to a GLBT organization that advocates for marriage rights. There's something poetic in the idea of the relic of a failed marriage being used to help bring into existence other marriages, some of which will undoubtedly succeed spectacularly.
posted by ShameSpiral at 1:01 PM on November 6, 2008 [2 favorites]

Melt the fucker down, that would be my answer in your position. Get a suitably hot burner, some gloves, goggles, and a leather apron, and liquefy it..

I do like the idea of melting it down and turning it into bullets, I have to say.
posted by rodgerd at 1:57 PM on November 6, 2008

If you get some (concentrated) hydrochloric acid and nitric acid and mix them in a ratio of approximately 3:1, you should be able to dissolve the ring in that solution. Once you've done that, you could try to get the gold to plate back out onto some other object. I'm not exactly sure how to do that, though.

Also, concentrated acids are dangerous so be careful if you actually do this.
posted by Juffo-Wup at 2:06 PM on November 6, 2008

Give it to a crackhead. That way you know it'll make someone feel good, at least for about 45 seconds or so.
posted by missjenny at 2:48 PM on November 6, 2008

Best answer: Resale on jewelry is negligible at best. Seriously.

Balloons are bad. Don't do that.

However, if you hit a good gentlemen's club, I guarantee you that if you tell the story to the naked girl at your table, she'll trade you a table dance for the ring. And nothing would piss off your ex wife more than knowing you gave the ring to a stripper.
posted by dejah420 at 2:48 PM on November 6, 2008 [7 favorites]

The stripper idea is genius!
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:11 PM on November 6, 2008

Do you live near Niagara Falls?
posted by booth at 4:04 PM on November 6, 2008

Seconding thermite. Easy and pretty epic. Make sure you have something to catch the drippings.
posted by benign at 4:07 PM on November 6, 2008

Go to a state where fireworks are legal. Get yourself a nice little rocket. Put the ring around it and shoot the damn thing into space.
posted by whoaali at 4:56 PM on November 6, 2008

Coin shrinking guy
posted by hortense at 7:40 PM on November 6, 2008

Did you know there are Lord of the Rings fans who get their wedding rings engraved to look like the 'One Ring'?

Do you know why they're crazy?
Because why would a true Lord of the Rings fan use that as a wedding ring? The one ring is malevolentevil! Who the hell would wear something designed by Sauron?!?

Ok, I'll stop geeking about something that I'm not actually geeky about.

But - Epic way? A divorce ring? That's absolutely perfect!
Get it engraved, and then sell it on ebay, mentioning it's dire history and contribution to the fall of man.

Even better, get someone to then chuck it in an active volcano (anyone going on a trip to Hawaii?).
And blog about it.

posted by Elysum at 8:12 PM on November 6, 2008

Donate it to the guy who runs this (MeFi) website.
posted by Xhris at 8:29 PM on November 6, 2008

~ And nothing would piss off your ex wife more than knowing you gave the ring to a stripper.

That is miles better than anything I could have come up with myself.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:35 PM on November 6, 2008

Personally, I doubt you'd get much for a traditional band, but donating is at least a positive response.

I think getting rid of it in an epic way gives the impression it still means something to you.

The stripper is nice, but will the ex ever see the stripper? If you want the ex to be reminded of the train wreck put it somewhere she has to see often.

You didn't say if you're divorced yet. Who gets the house? If she it to the wall by the front door. Remind her everyday how easily you left it behind.

If you're still at home and have keys to her car...spend an hour and take off her turn signal stalk, add the ring and replace the stalk. I doubt she'll take the trouble to take it off. Or krazy glue it to the rear view mirror.
posted by ?! at 10:00 PM on November 6, 2008

My entrepreneurial spirit thinks you should somehow involve eBay. I suspect that there are plenty of people out there who would love to pay for the opportunity to help you symbolically destroy this marriage. Start with the market value of the ring, make an epic plan (a la throwing into the fires of Mount Doom) and then have people bid on carrying it out and documenting it. Then, use the proceeds to either make the experience all the more epic, or donate them to a good cause.
posted by greekphilosophy at 9:28 AM on November 7, 2008

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