Wedding Rings Optional?
September 23, 2004 12:55 PM   Subscribe

You are married, so why don't you wear your wedding ring?
posted by lilboo to Society & Culture (57 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I gained enough weight so it doesn't fit, and I am kidding myself into thinking I'll lose it. Although I have dropped 15 lbs. in two months after giving up milk.

Plus, I totally exude marriedness. Nobody has *ever* thought I was single.
posted by mecran01 at 12:57 PM on September 23, 2004

I do, except for when I am pumping Iron at the gym. You know, for the obvious reasons. . .
posted by Quartermass at 12:59 PM on September 23, 2004

I don't wear my wedding ring because I rock climb alot. I mean 4 or 5 times a week. A ring A) interferes with skin to rock friction and B) could concievably tear my finger off if I fell and it got caught on something.

My wife doesn't seem to mind. When it's snowing or raining or whatever and I won't be climbing for a while I ussually put it back on.
posted by trbrts at 1:00 PM on September 23, 2004

My dad has never worn one, and they're going on 40 years. Just doesn't like jewelry.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:03 PM on September 23, 2004

I wear mine, but it frequently drives me nuts by clicking against the neck of my guitar while I'm rocking out. I have to keep it on, though, because I rock out so intensely that the women would mob me to death without the ring telling them to keep off.
posted by COBRA! at 1:07 PM on September 23, 2004

I threw away the first one years ago when we were going through some tough times in our relationship.

I lost the second one at work because I kept taking it off and spinning it on my desk.
posted by briank at 1:08 PM on September 23, 2004

That's funny, Quartermass, I go ringless when I run for the exact same reasons...
posted by ph00dz at 1:09 PM on September 23, 2004

I've lost a piss pot of weight since we got married and lost my ring one day at a stoplight, in the rain nonetheless, flicking ashes out the window. Jumped out of the truck and after much searching found my ring. It's in the jewelery box.
posted by damnitkage at 1:10 PM on September 23, 2004

I didn't wear mine for a month when I worked in a warehouse and it kept falling off my finger. I took it to be sized and now I only take it off, well, I don't really take it off at all.
posted by codger at 1:16 PM on September 23, 2004

Because I am in the shower or asleep.
posted by adamrice at 1:18 PM on September 23, 2004

Ditto what adamrice said (when I was married, anyway).
posted by JanetLand at 1:20 PM on September 23, 2004

Oh man, I'm getting married in 3 weeks and was just thinking about this. I've had a ring on my right ring finger for about 8 years, so the switch to the left hand shouldn't matter. However, I'm really against the wedding ring idea, it reeks of a 'BACK OFF HO HE'S TAKEN' device to ensure I will never get flirted with again. Not that I mind, but really why else is it there? Why do I want/need people to know I'm married, when the only one whose opinions matter to me are my wife's.

Still, like all other issues, she will win this one.
posted by remlapm at 1:20 PM on September 23, 2004

Right after we got married, my husband lost a lot of weight and the ring slid around his finger too much for his liking. He moved it to his middle finger so it would stay safe there until he got it resized. Only, he kept forgetting.

Then, he couldn't take it off -- so that's where it's been for the last 10+ years. His middle finger.

At least that's what he tells ME, anyway....
posted by gnomeloaf at 1:20 PM on September 23, 2004

Because I'm trying to get into your pants.
posted by padraigin at 1:21 PM on September 23, 2004

I've lost a little weight, so doing things like showering or kneading bread, causes it to slip off. I set it in a safe place, and then go for weeks before I put it back on again. My wife says we can get the ring resized, but being the cheap bastard that I am, I don't want to lose the platinum that would get lost in the process.
posted by crunchland at 1:27 PM on September 23, 2004

We got cheated at the registry office: they never gave us any!
posted by skryche at 1:32 PM on September 23, 2004

I only wear my rings during business hours. Evenings and weekends are ring-free. I tend to have allergic reactions to almost all metals, including my rings that I've worn for over 10 years. As a result, I wear them as little as possible. (Yes, I know that platinum rings may cause fewer problems. However, they're damn expensive and will have to wait until a later date.) My husband doesn't care if I wear them or not.

As for his ring, it's usually worn at work now since his new job doesn't involve the extreme amounts of equipment setup that his previous job required. Having seen the equipment, I have no problem believing the ring was a hazard to his finger. I'm never upset when he doesn't wear it; even if we were out on date night.
posted by onhazier at 1:35 PM on September 23, 2004

Ever tried to play video games with a force feedback controller (largely, the PS2 Dual Shock) with a wedding ring on? Makes a horrible sound when the controller buzzes against your ring.

I do wear it, but that's my #1 annoyance.
posted by Remy at 1:39 PM on September 23, 2004

I very occasionally take it off before showering. Other than the week when I sent it off to be resized (I'm losing lots of weight), I've worn it since March 31st, 2001.
posted by mrbill at 1:40 PM on September 23, 2004

...because I am wearing my later mother-in-law's band.
posted by oflinkey at 1:48 PM on September 23, 2004

I recently had a bout of poison ivy on my left hand under my ring, and had to go several days without wearing it. Mrs. Grateful freaked out.
posted by grateful at 1:51 PM on September 23, 2004

Didn't even get one. I was the only one in my High School senior class who didn't get a class ring.

Don't like wearing rings.
posted by jeremias at 1:58 PM on September 23, 2004

Mine got too tight when I got preggers and my husband had to cut it off with some sharp thing. It's been sitting in a broken little heap in the top drawer of my bureau for 14 years. I don't like rings, or any jewelry, for that matter.
posted by iconomy at 2:01 PM on September 23, 2004

My father had to cut his off because of weight gain. Or he had a chemical spill on his hands at work and there was severe swelling. I forget. Probably weight gain contributing to the degree of swelling. He didn't wear one again until he was thinner and retired (over 20 years later).

My mother always takes hers off when she goes swimming.

I'm not married, but recently suffered a tendon injury to my left index finger, which usually bears a ring. For some reason, I wasn't wearing it at the time of my accident. With the degree of swelling I endured, I'm horrified to think of what my finger would have looked like had the ring been on. I couldn't put a ring on *any* finger for weeks because I was too freaked out and had visions of blackend, swollen fingers popping off my hands like champagne corks.
posted by Sangre Azul at 2:02 PM on September 23, 2004

My husband and I only wear our rings outside the house, and they live on ring stands when we're home. We bought especially heavy platinum rings, so we would "feel married". For us, they function like a picture in the wallet--a comforting reminder of the person we love most. At home, that person is there, so no need for a ring.

And yes, if one spouse is gone, often the spouse at home will slip on a ring if they get a little lonesome. We're saps.
posted by frykitty at 2:14 PM on September 23, 2004

Because my wife made the rings (designed in Rhino modeling program), and she has yet to polish mine (three years later). I wear it at times, but stopped when I was opening up computers and working on them a lot, as I've shorted a mobo once that way.
posted by adampsyche at 2:23 PM on September 23, 2004

Eczema. And I don't like jewelry.

won't be married for a year, but that's already established.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:40 PM on September 23, 2004

Just what exactly are these "obvious reasons," Quartermass and ph00dz? I could see the ring getting in the way of a good grip or rubbing against the weights when lifting, but that doesn't seem to apply to running, so I guess it's not obvious to me...
posted by gokart4xmas at 3:01 PM on September 23, 2004

I've been wearing my wedding ring for nearly 12 years straight; never removed it from that finger once. No particular reason...I like wearing it, and one day I realized I'd been wearing it continuously for a long time, so I thought I'd just see how long I could go.

It's a nice indicator of whether I've gained or lost weight, without getting on a scale.
posted by icetaco at 3:07 PM on September 23, 2004

I'm not married. Odd that you would think so.
posted by The God Complex at 3:08 PM on September 23, 2004

Because I'm kneading bread dough or a lump of soon-to-be-meatloaf and I don't feel like having to sandblast the ring's detailing when I'm done just to get it clean.
posted by headspace at 3:14 PM on September 23, 2004

Can't wear jewelry on my hands at work, and I usually forget to put it back on.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 3:19 PM on September 23, 2004

I've got eczema & dry skin, which means I need to put lotion on every time I wash my hands. I'm a SAHM, and between changing diapers, housework and cooking, I have to wash my hands a lot. If I try to put lotion on when I'm wearing the rings, the prongs of the solitare get all gunky. Therefore, I don't wear my rings at home, and that's where I am 98% of the time. I try to wear my rings when I leave the house, but I forget a lot, which bugs my husband a little. But he's never had eczema or dry skin, so he can just deal.
posted by Shoeburyness at 3:27 PM on September 23, 2004

do any of you not wearing them secretly want to be seen as single and still desirable by the rest of the world? (honestly just asking.)
posted by amberglow at 3:32 PM on September 23, 2004

I don't wear mine because I lost the diamond out of it years and years ago while starting the lawnmower. I then hocked the remaining parts it when he and I separated some years later. We reconciled and I still miss it.
posted by Lynsey at 3:49 PM on September 23, 2004

I'm not married, but if I do get married, I don't plan on wearing a ring, engagement or otherwise. I don't like jewelry and find rings too cumbersome while typing.
posted by Zosia Blue at 3:53 PM on September 23, 2004

I don't have the problem that much with my wedding ring, but with my engagement ring, it had a u-shaped design on the inside that meant I had two grooves running into my skin everytime my finger swelled slightly. And since it was New Orleans, and in the summer, I spent months not wearing it.

Oddly, when I tried to get it resized so that it'd stop doing that, the jeweller told me over and over that I had "no knuckles" and that I had to have it tight against my finger or else it'd fall off. I have NO KNUCKLES! Fear me!

Now, of course, I have a huge groove on my finger where my wedding ring sits comfortably and will always always always prove that I am married. Alas!
posted by Katemonkey at 4:02 PM on September 23, 2004

do any of you not wearing them secretly want to be seen as single and still desirable by the rest of the world? (honestly just asking.)

On the rare occasion a stranger has flirted with me, it seems it didn't matter if I was wearing a ring. Maybe I just attract scoundrels.
posted by whatnot at 4:02 PM on September 23, 2004

This sounds like the title of an Onion "infographic": "Why aren't we wearing our wedding rings?"
posted by waldo at 4:14 PM on September 23, 2004

I got pregnant and my fingers swelled so much I couldn't wear it, so I put it on a necklace and wore that instead.

Then I went back to my normal size, but I can't stand to wear the rings and watch in the house since they feel restrictive. (No, they're not too tight, just feel strange and bug me.) So if I'm going out, I put them on, and I'm usually too busy to notice them, although I'll take them off every hour or two to rub my finger and wrist.

Flirts don't notice rings unless they're a big honkin' diamond, in my experience, anyway. I have a band.
posted by Melinika at 4:21 PM on September 23, 2004

Occasionally, I forget to put mine on. I usually take it off if I'm doing something that might cause the ring to catch on something or if the job is especially dirty/sloppy. I used to be paranoid about wearing it while working with power tools, but not any longer--probably to the detriment of the ring, which is heavily dinged up.
posted by plinth at 4:31 PM on September 23, 2004

I can't stand sleeping in mine, so I take it off every night. Occasionally I forget to put it back on the next day, but that really bothers me. I don't feel right when in public without it.

The ring is a little dinged up because it is silver, but I still love wearing it.
posted by litlnemo at 5:27 PM on September 23, 2004

Even if I wasn't married I would wear a wedding ring. They're total chick-magnets.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:51 PM on September 23, 2004

I've only been married for *almost* 2 years.

I take mine off when I am sleeping, as I have a habit of doing strange things when I sleep and would probably take it off.

I also sometimes forget to put in on in the mornings too, but very rarely. if I forget, I'll usually put it on when i come home for lunch during the day.

I also take it off at other random times:

1) When baking.
2) When doing the dishes.
3) When eating buffalo wings.

I usually don't put it on during the weekends, until I leave the house.
posted by punkrockrat at 7:02 PM on September 23, 2004

I wear mine constantly, unless I'm working with nasty chemicals. Like, Katemonkey, I now have a groove on my ring finger from wearing a ring constantly for the past 7 years (engagement ring first, then wedding ring.)

My husband wears his all the time, as well. His original was lost at work as he had to remove it (big dangerous machinery.) Now, he's afraid to remove the replacement lest it be lost.
posted by SuzySmith at 10:11 PM on September 23, 2004

I've never taken my wedding ring off and we will be celebrating our 31st anniversary next month. At this point, I couldn't take it off if I wanted to - it would have to be cut off.
posted by garypratt at 10:37 PM on September 23, 2004

I don't wear any jewelry unless I leave the house (excepting my nose stud and secondary ear piercings). Why? It simply doesn't occur to me to wear any unless I'm leaving the house.

My husband is the same, plus he doesn't wear it at work as it irritates him whilst he types (he's an IT geek. Or is that redundant?)
posted by deborah at 11:26 PM on September 23, 2004

I never take mine off, and if I did, I'd lose it. Actually, I did use to 'spin' it , but even those days are gone.

I had never worn a ring before, never thought I'd like it, and thought it would surely get in the way for some things. It was strange at first to type or play guitar with it, but after a few months I can't feel it or even tell I'm wearing it. Sometimes I even get a little scared and have to feel for it to make sure it's still there.

Your body eventually stops noticing the feel of your ring, just as you don't normally think of your clothes touching your body. So if you're a guy and using that as an excuse, very sneaky, and if you're a girl who believes it, lucky guy.
posted by justgary at 12:28 AM on September 24, 2004

Like headspace, I only take mine off when I'm kneading dough, making meatballs, or similar. Otherwise it's on all the time. Likewise with the engagement ring I wear on my right hand.
posted by misteraitch at 2:41 AM on September 24, 2004

I lost mine in a forest in France. If any one finds it, let me know.
posted by Dick Paris at 3:44 AM on September 24, 2004

Mine got caught on a doorknob and given me a nasty cut, so I had put it on my work badge neck leash thingy so it wouldn't get lost. Then, I hung said work badge neck leash thingy from my review mirror on a Friday afternoon so it wouldn't get lost by Monday morning. Then, I went to the grocery store early Sunday morning, and forgot to lock the car. In the 10 minutes I was inside, some fucking bastard stole my ring. I hope he OD'd on whatever he bought with the $12.50 or so that he got when he pawned it.

posted by Irontom at 4:37 AM on September 24, 2004

I have a "comfort curve" model (basically the metal is almond shaped if you cut it in a cross section), this makes is comfy to wear as all hell. I hate rings, never wore them. This one I can and do wear for months at a time. Occaisonally I take it off for an evening, and the indent left in y finger feels weird so I put it back on. I also take it off when I de-calous the part o my hand that touches the ring, yes makes a little calous. Comfort curve, a tip handed to me when I got engaged, and I'm passing it on.
posted by Dome-O-Rama at 4:54 AM on September 24, 2004

I was pretty much anti-jewelry, but consented to the wedding ring, because I appreciated the symbolism behind it. Ditched a lot of wedding traditions, and wanted to ditch more, but for whatever reason, I didn't mind this one. Judging by this thread, most people seem to do the wedding ring thing, which is interesting.

Despite never having worn a ring before, and that my left hand is my drawing hand, I wear mine all the time, except when showering or swimming. It's loose so I worry about it falling off. It sometimes does, and since it's a puzzle ring, it can be a bitch to reassemble. Well it used to be. I finally figured out the trick behind it.

My wife and I were very far away from each other for a year and a half, and I found the ring a comfort during frequent bouts of despair. I got used to it quickly.
posted by picea at 6:36 AM on September 24, 2004

This woman didn't take off her ring...
posted by AwkwardPause at 6:58 AM on September 24, 2004

I take it off for showering and washing dishes (worried about drains, etc.), biking, physical activity (worried about dings, etc.); then sometimes I forget to put it on again for a while. We don't see wearing rings as symbolic of our marriage overall, and so leaving if off is not problematic for me or mrs. c. Although I don't mind wearing jewellery for long periods of time; I've had the same surgical steel ear hoops in for about 12 years now.

I have a 'comfort fit' ring too; it's very comfortable! We spent time choosing rings, and I like how mine looks, when I'm wearing it that is.
posted by carter at 7:00 AM on September 24, 2004

Still wearing mine although separated from Mrs. Alums since May. I tried taking it off; that lasted about two days because not wearing it felt weird after nearly 14 years. Dunno if I'll ever get around to taking it off.

FWIW, I've worn it on my right ring finger since shortly after the wedding because I'm left-handed and I didn't want to tear it up too much handling stuff.
posted by alumshubby at 7:00 AM on September 24, 2004

I get eczema under the ring if any moisture gets trapped there, so it comes off all the time. I don't wear it at home but always wear it when I'm out of the house. It is a pain to have to take it off every time I wash my hands or do dishes etc, but - I love wearing it. When we received our rings during our ceremony we said "I accept this ring as a symbol of our union and will wear it every day so that all may know of my love for you." I get a stab of joy every time I look at this gorgeous band that we designed together.
posted by widdershins at 7:57 AM on September 24, 2004

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