Help me be a fantastic Cabaret MC . . . I need jokes, tricks, filler lines, and so on . . . oh, and this Cabaret is also a wedding!
October 7, 2008 4:22 PM   Subscribe

Help me be a fantastic Cabaret MC . . . I need jokes, tricks, filler lines, and so on . . . oh, and this Cabaret is also a wedding!

Two dear friends are not just having a wedding, they're holding "Marry Me! A Cabaret Spectacular!"

I'm MCing a Cabaret show that will include burlesque, live music, juggling, an aerial performance (and so much more!), culminating in the lovely couple being married on stage by yours truly.

I'm kicking off the show and will be filling time between introducing acts and I want to have stockpile of:
**One liners
**Dead simple (can be stupid) magic tricks
**Anything that might make the audience laugh and smile

The tone can be funny, campy, irreverant, whatever! I'm hoping the hivemind can help me with some material!

Please and thank you!
posted by donovan to Grab Bag (3 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I have seen the following, it was hilarious, but you might need to judge your audience properly.

`I don't smoke, don't really like it, but I do know a great trick and I'll need to borrow a packet of cigarettes from someone!'.

Receive pack of cigarettes, turn around, fumble about, then turn around with.. a cigarette, filter end stuck up your nose. `Ta daaa!'.

Crowd reacts, mild amusement perhaps? Slight disgust?

Laugh it off, apologise, `Ha ha, yeah, kind of stupid I know'.

Then return the cigarette to the packet and hand it back. If you're nice, you'll fake returning the cigarette to the packet.
posted by tomble at 11:51 PM on October 7, 2008

Tell your audience that you're an amatuer astrologer, would they like to test you? Then call out your zodiac sign. Whomever yells first, repeat their sign: "Pieces, sign of the loud mouth. Always the first one in a crowd to shout out."

Announce an amazing magic trick: You will poke your head through this tiny hole (make an "O" with the fingers of one hand). Then hold the "hole" up to your forehead and poke your forehead through it with the index finger of your other hand.
posted by Oriole Adams at 2:34 AM on October 8, 2008

OMG this sounds like a fun wedding.

Is anyone in the extended family of Jewish origin? Yiddish always goes far in old-timesy comedy.

If you have time to buy or check out a book, The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes is surely a good choice. Just, you know, avoid making jokes about how hideous the bride is, or the quality of the groom's penis.
posted by Deathalicious at 8:49 PM on October 8, 2008

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