Is it immature for me to want to sacrifice a good career with a good company to live closer to my parents?
October 4, 2008 3:34 PM Subscribe
Is it immature for me to want to sacrifice a good career with a good company to live closer to my parents?
I’m a 24 year old male that graduated from college in May 2008, but before I graduated I spent most of my last two semesters searching for a position in the IT field. I filled out 30 applications, interviewed with 20 companies, and received two job offers, both of which were out of state.
I accepted one of the job offers. I knew it would increase my IT skill set and allow for financial independence. The job has also taken me close to 3000 miles away from my parents, brother, sister, and niece. I didn’t think moving away from my family would bother me so much. I went on a student exchange in college where I was away from my family for a semester, and I felt a lot more lonely and disconnected from my family at that point in time than I do now. I have gotten better at living far away from my family, but I still feel like there is a void.
My concern is that I am too emotionally dependent on my family. My thought is that if I spent more time trusting and connecting emotionally with friends/girlfriends, I would no longer feel the desire to live so close to my family. I have tried to develop strong friendships before, but the best type of friend for me is someone that I can hang out with once or twice a week. I always desired to spend more time with family than friends, probably because I have moved nine times and family was the only constant.
I wonder if having a girlfriend would make me feel better about the whole situation. I have dated but I haven’t had a girlfriend in years. Would a girlfriend diminish my desire to move back closer to my parents?
I am trying to take an inventory of myself and my priorities. I feel like my top priority is to move back home, but at the same time I feel weak for wanting to leave a good job with a good company so I can live closer to my family, a family that I may be too emotionally dependent on.
Feel free to ask questions if you need clarification.
I’m a 24 year old male that graduated from college in May 2008, but before I graduated I spent most of my last two semesters searching for a position in the IT field. I filled out 30 applications, interviewed with 20 companies, and received two job offers, both of which were out of state.
I accepted one of the job offers. I knew it would increase my IT skill set and allow for financial independence. The job has also taken me close to 3000 miles away from my parents, brother, sister, and niece. I didn’t think moving away from my family would bother me so much. I went on a student exchange in college where I was away from my family for a semester, and I felt a lot more lonely and disconnected from my family at that point in time than I do now. I have gotten better at living far away from my family, but I still feel like there is a void.
My concern is that I am too emotionally dependent on my family. My thought is that if I spent more time trusting and connecting emotionally with friends/girlfriends, I would no longer feel the desire to live so close to my family. I have tried to develop strong friendships before, but the best type of friend for me is someone that I can hang out with once or twice a week. I always desired to spend more time with family than friends, probably because I have moved nine times and family was the only constant.
I wonder if having a girlfriend would make me feel better about the whole situation. I have dated but I haven’t had a girlfriend in years. Would a girlfriend diminish my desire to move back closer to my parents?
I am trying to take an inventory of myself and my priorities. I feel like my top priority is to move back home, but at the same time I feel weak for wanting to leave a good job with a good company so I can live closer to my family, a family that I may be too emotionally dependent on.
Feel free to ask questions if you need clarification.
Also, I see you're in the US. Our culture has a weird attitude towards family. On the one hand, there's all the mom and apple pie stuff, but on the other hand, we're all supposed to strike completely off on our own as soon as we graduate from high school. But seriously, it's really great to have a close relationship with your family.
posted by lunasol at 3:53 PM on October 4, 2008
posted by lunasol at 3:53 PM on October 4, 2008
Best answer: I'm a single guy who has moved away from "home" twice.
Interestingly the first time I left I was pursuing a career in IT. I landed a cool job out of state, quickly made friends, had a few girlfriends, etc. Then I was laid off. I bounced around into two other miserable jobs (laid off again from one and quit the other) while at the same time the friends I had made were dissipating as people moved away or found other work. A semi-long term relationship I was in ended, and I woke up one morning to realize that I didn't have many friends, my girl had left, and I hated my job. So I packed up and moved back home.
I was almost exactly your age.
Anyway, I was home for about a year, got my bearing, got everything in order, decided on a path and wound up in Chicago. And I've been here going on five years.
The point is that, it's okay to cut and run back to the safety of familiar lands, but beware that if you do so without any clear plan for the future you could wind up aimless and just as miserable.
Lastly, you don't need a woman to be happy or complete. You don't need a relationship to anchor your life - especial at your age. What you do need is an active lifestyle and a good work environment. If you get those two things, the relationship aspect will fall into place on its own. Trust me.
posted by wfrgms at 4:03 PM on October 4, 2008
Interestingly the first time I left I was pursuing a career in IT. I landed a cool job out of state, quickly made friends, had a few girlfriends, etc. Then I was laid off. I bounced around into two other miserable jobs (laid off again from one and quit the other) while at the same time the friends I had made were dissipating as people moved away or found other work. A semi-long term relationship I was in ended, and I woke up one morning to realize that I didn't have many friends, my girl had left, and I hated my job. So I packed up and moved back home.
I was almost exactly your age.
Anyway, I was home for about a year, got my bearing, got everything in order, decided on a path and wound up in Chicago. And I've been here going on five years.
The point is that, it's okay to cut and run back to the safety of familiar lands, but beware that if you do so without any clear plan for the future you could wind up aimless and just as miserable.
Lastly, you don't need a woman to be happy or complete. You don't need a relationship to anchor your life - especial at your age. What you do need is an active lifestyle and a good work environment. If you get those two things, the relationship aspect will fall into place on its own. Trust me.
posted by wfrgms at 4:03 PM on October 4, 2008
Find a job in a city near where your family lives, even if it means you slightly change your employment goals? Sounds like a great way to have your own life and still be close to your family. Quit working to move back into your parent's house? Danger, do not pass go.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:05 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:05 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
There's nothing wrong with wanting to live close to one's family/parents. On the other hand, it can be foolish to chase family.
posted by furtive at 4:19 PM on October 4, 2008
posted by furtive at 4:19 PM on October 4, 2008
No, it's absolutely not immature to feel this way. However, you may continue to feel understimulated or stymied by a lack of good job opportunities there, depending on where that is, exactly. So, make sure you use the support you're getting from your family as a springboard. So, you need to be near them. That's fine, fine, fine. But being with them meets your basic needs, you have to find a way to meet the rest of your needs and desires. Those will likely change a lot over the next 3-5 years, so staying at home while you get sorted out a bit is a swell plan. Just don't forget to improve yourself. Keep checking in, asking yourself what you want to do, where you want to go, and eventually you might find you're actually ready to try something else. But it's not a race.
The people I know who are comfortable living with their parents through age thirty also seem to be a bit complacent, and somewhat frustrated but seemingly impotent to act to change things. It's change and independence that brings us growth, after all, so keep your mind active and engaged. There is a middle road between unattached nomadic ambition and the comforting lull of home.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:26 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
The people I know who are comfortable living with their parents through age thirty also seem to be a bit complacent, and somewhat frustrated but seemingly impotent to act to change things. It's change and independence that brings us growth, after all, so keep your mind active and engaged. There is a middle road between unattached nomadic ambition and the comforting lull of home.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:26 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I'm getting some great advice so far. I do think it would be best to spend more time in my current position. It will make it much easier for me to find a good position closer to my family in the near future. For now, I will continue to focus on cultivating an active lifestyle and a good work environment. Wfrgms, you are probably right about the girlfriend thing falling into place. It is tempting to assume that a woman will make me happy or complete!
posted by speedoavenger at 4:29 PM on October 4, 2008
posted by speedoavenger at 4:29 PM on October 4, 2008
It is tempting to assume that a woman will make me happy or complete!
It is probably more accurate to assume that a women will find you attractive when you are already happy and complete, actually.
Anyway, I wanted to ad another perspective in case it is relevant to your case. I broke up a perfectly grand relationship with a great catch because he was attached to his family. Like, really attached to his family. He too had moved to Particular Big City to be closer to them, and was unwilling to entertain the idea of living anywhere else. And as nice as Particular Big City was, I was totally unwilling to commit to spending the rest of my life living there.
In addition, you might want to browse through some of the questions regarding family proximity and relationship issues on MeFi. It's fine when being around your family meets your needs, but things usually need to change when you move on to taking the needs of another person and your relationship together into account.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:50 PM on October 4, 2008
It is probably more accurate to assume that a women will find you attractive when you are already happy and complete, actually.
Anyway, I wanted to ad another perspective in case it is relevant to your case. I broke up a perfectly grand relationship with a great catch because he was attached to his family. Like, really attached to his family. He too had moved to Particular Big City to be closer to them, and was unwilling to entertain the idea of living anywhere else. And as nice as Particular Big City was, I was totally unwilling to commit to spending the rest of my life living there.
In addition, you might want to browse through some of the questions regarding family proximity and relationship issues on MeFi. It's fine when being around your family meets your needs, but things usually need to change when you move on to taking the needs of another person and your relationship together into account.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:50 PM on October 4, 2008
You have to choose family over a job. You just have to.
I mean, you can always get another job later.
posted by rokusan at 5:13 PM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
I mean, you can always get another job later.
posted by rokusan at 5:13 PM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
2nd lunasol on planning to move back. When I was young I moved away from my hometown a few times, and it was much, much easier knowing I'd return.
I think you're being too hard on yourself about being "weak" and so on. These are presumably nice people who love you a lot; there's nothing immature about wanting to be near them, at any age.
posted by kmennie at 5:17 PM on October 4, 2008
I think you're being too hard on yourself about being "weak" and so on. These are presumably nice people who love you a lot; there's nothing immature about wanting to be near them, at any age.
posted by kmennie at 5:17 PM on October 4, 2008
Did you just come back from spending time at home, by the way?
My parents, brother, and entire extended family lives in Europe, and every time I spend time with them I entertain thoughts about returning home to Sweden again. It becomes kind of a burden for a while after returning to work and home in the U.S., but then that feeling fades as I do my own thing with my husband. I love my in-laws (who live close by), but nothing compares to my actual family, particularly as we are all close, including aunts/uncles, cousins, etc.
It gets easier with time, though. Just know that you are not weird for feeling this way. Perhaps you will find your own life away from family in two years, and decide to stay. Perhaps not, and you return to the city where your family lives. Either is fine.
posted by gemmy at 5:21 PM on October 4, 2008
My parents, brother, and entire extended family lives in Europe, and every time I spend time with them I entertain thoughts about returning home to Sweden again. It becomes kind of a burden for a while after returning to work and home in the U.S., but then that feeling fades as I do my own thing with my husband. I love my in-laws (who live close by), but nothing compares to my actual family, particularly as we are all close, including aunts/uncles, cousins, etc.
It gets easier with time, though. Just know that you are not weird for feeling this way. Perhaps you will find your own life away from family in two years, and decide to stay. Perhaps not, and you return to the city where your family lives. Either is fine.
posted by gemmy at 5:21 PM on October 4, 2008
Response by poster: DarlingBri, you bring up a good point about how things change when one takes on the needs of another person or children. If I have a family of my own someday, then I will do what is best for them, which may involve moving away from my hometown or staying put. Right now I am closest to my parents, siblings, and niece, and I feel like I should be near them.
Also, I agree that women are attracted to a man that is happy and complete, and having a close relationship with my family makes me happy.
posted by speedoavenger at 5:29 PM on October 4, 2008
Also, I agree that women are attracted to a man that is happy and complete, and having a close relationship with my family makes me happy.
posted by speedoavenger at 5:29 PM on October 4, 2008
My concern is that I am too emotionally dependent on my family.
That's what I'm getting from your post. It seem as though your family are your entire social network, which is unhealthy IMO. By all means, stay close to your family, but try to expand your social circle so it includes several friends and a girlfriend. You're 24 and should be striving to make all types of relationships (familial, friendship etc) that can last for years.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:35 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
That's what I'm getting from your post. It seem as though your family are your entire social network, which is unhealthy IMO. By all means, stay close to your family, but try to expand your social circle so it includes several friends and a girlfriend. You're 24 and should be striving to make all types of relationships (familial, friendship etc) that can last for years.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:35 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Gemmy, my parents just visited me a week ago for the first time in about five months! You are a mind reader! I thought of their visit as a test. If I was sick of them after a couple days, then I could live where I am now indefinitely. If I want them to stay longer, then I probably belong back home.
Also, I may feel completely different in two years and decide I want to stay put. It's great being able to change my mind.
posted by speedoavenger at 5:36 PM on October 4, 2008
Also, I may feel completely different in two years and decide I want to stay put. It's great being able to change my mind.
posted by speedoavenger at 5:36 PM on October 4, 2008
It is definitely not immature to want to live near family. I think that's a lovely thing, as long as you have (relatively) healthy family dynamics. That said, I think it's too soon to tell if that's the best move for you now. I think giving it time is a really smart idea.
As a working adult, I moved 3000 miles away from home (from Boston to Los Angeles) and was terribly homesick the first year much to my surprise. By year two, I had found my footing and everything wasn't so foreign. I could easily distinguish what suited me and what didn't versus the discomfort such a major transition can often bring. By the third year, I was loving my new home, but circumstances beyond my control brought me back to Boston. I've been back a couple of years, and am fairly certain that I will be heading back West as soon as it's conducive. I don't know if hearing someone else's story of adjustment is helpful, but my point is that giving yourself time to become more acclimated and settled could bring about surprising results and if after that you still want to move back home, by all means you should but at least you'll know you made an informed and well thought out decision. Good luck!
posted by katemcd at 5:36 PM on October 4, 2008
As a working adult, I moved 3000 miles away from home (from Boston to Los Angeles) and was terribly homesick the first year much to my surprise. By year two, I had found my footing and everything wasn't so foreign. I could easily distinguish what suited me and what didn't versus the discomfort such a major transition can often bring. By the third year, I was loving my new home, but circumstances beyond my control brought me back to Boston. I've been back a couple of years, and am fairly certain that I will be heading back West as soon as it's conducive. I don't know if hearing someone else's story of adjustment is helpful, but my point is that giving yourself time to become more acclimated and settled could bring about surprising results and if after that you still want to move back home, by all means you should but at least you'll know you made an informed and well thought out decision. Good luck!
posted by katemcd at 5:36 PM on October 4, 2008
Regarding DarlingBri's point about the needs of an eventual partner and children... that's one of the reasons that it makes sense to settle near family. As you move into that phase of your life, having family around will be invaluable - both for help with child care (either ongoing or in cases of emergency) and because your kids and their grandparents can form close relationships between themselves. It's also true that as your parents age, they are more likely to need your help from time to time, and sharing that burden with your brother and sister will improve your relationships with them, and keep each of you from having to make major sacrifices. If you want to be nearer to home - go for it. It's the opposite of immature. It makes perfect sense to make a medium-term plan to find work in a city closer to them. Don't "sacrifice a good career" - figure out what you have to do to have a thriving career in the corner of the world where you'd be happiest.
posted by moxiedoll at 5:43 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by moxiedoll at 5:43 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Katemcd, thanks for sharing your story. It does help my ego-centric self to remember that other people are going through similar experiences. Time gets a bad rep sometimes, but it can sort out a lot of issues.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean by this statement: "I could easily distinguish what suited me and what didn't versus the discomfort such a major transition can often bring."
Can you elaborate a little bit?
posted by speedoavenger at 5:47 PM on October 4, 2008
I'm not exactly sure what you mean by this statement: "I could easily distinguish what suited me and what didn't versus the discomfort such a major transition can often bring."
Can you elaborate a little bit?
posted by speedoavenger at 5:47 PM on October 4, 2008
A little background: I've been out of college for 12 years. In those 12 years, I have lived away from my hometown twice. The first time was about 1000 miles and was for 3 years, with my husband only (Williamsburg, VA). I am in the midst of my second time and we're about 1200 miles away this time (Southern New Hampshire). This time, we had two small ones with us. In between these two instances, I lived in my hometown for 3 years. Prior to me moving to Virginia, no one in my family (including aunts, uncles, cousins) had moved out of our hometown. It was very difficult for my mother and subsequently, me.
I understand your feelings. The first trip was very hard for me. This one has been significantly easier. It could be because of my home life and family. In Virginia, we lived in an apartment for awhile before we bought a house. We didn't travel as much. In New Hampshire, we bought a very New Englandy house that we love. we over spent on our home to make sure we loved the time we had here. We travel from here.
I look at each move as temporary (because even though I have no idea how long I will be somewhere, I can choose to move back at anytime. Just not with my current employer). We try to make the best of them. Take in the area. Join groups.
Give it 2 years. You can always move home. It will still be there!
posted by beachhead2 at 5:51 PM on October 4, 2008
I understand your feelings. The first trip was very hard for me. This one has been significantly easier. It could be because of my home life and family. In Virginia, we lived in an apartment for awhile before we bought a house. We didn't travel as much. In New Hampshire, we bought a very New Englandy house that we love. we over spent on our home to make sure we loved the time we had here. We travel from here.
I look at each move as temporary (because even though I have no idea how long I will be somewhere, I can choose to move back at anytime. Just not with my current employer). We try to make the best of them. Take in the area. Join groups.
Give it 2 years. You can always move home. It will still be there!
posted by beachhead2 at 5:51 PM on October 4, 2008
Response by poster: The company I currently work for has offices in my hometown. They don't have as many positions as they do in my current location, but I am considering speaking with HR to see if any of the positions in my hometown have waivers attached to them. If they do, then I could apply for the position before I put in a year in my current position. Two years sounds so far away.
What if I stay two years where I am currently at and fall in love with a Northeast girl, but then my family is out west. I'll be stuck between two worlds. It would be ideal to have everyone in one location, as moxiedoll suggests.
posted by speedoavenger at 6:02 PM on October 4, 2008
What if I stay two years where I am currently at and fall in love with a Northeast girl, but then my family is out west. I'll be stuck between two worlds. It would be ideal to have everyone in one location, as moxiedoll suggests.
posted by speedoavenger at 6:02 PM on October 4, 2008
I have strong views about this subject. I think our society is a little bit too career-centric. I don't think you're alone in wanting to choose family over career. I have two job opportunities out of state, and had the chance to attend grad school 1000 of miles away from home...I turned down all of those opportunities. No way on earth I would move away from my family and my friends, they're just too important. Job offers will come and go, and if I'm not satisfied the way things are, I can always go back to school...as for family and close friends, they cannot be replaced. I only get one mother, one father, four grandparents (only two are still living), and four or five close friends. I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I don't think ANY career will provide more happiness or even life stability than people.
posted by sixcolors at 6:11 PM on October 4, 2008
posted by sixcolors at 6:11 PM on October 4, 2008
Response by poster: sixcolors, I agree with you that our society is too career-centric. Some people though have no choice but to move away from their families for a job. A good example is Illegal immigrants from Mexico that come to the U.S. to work and send money home to their families.
I graduated with thousands in credit card debt, tens of thousands in student loan debt, and the only well paying job I could find was out of state. I didn't want to leave my family, but at the same time I did not want to be a financial burden.
Now I'm paying off my debt, and working hard to gain the experience I need to be able to attain a job near my hometown.
posted by speedoavenger at 6:39 PM on October 4, 2008
I graduated with thousands in credit card debt, tens of thousands in student loan debt, and the only well paying job I could find was out of state. I didn't want to leave my family, but at the same time I did not want to be a financial burden.
Now I'm paying off my debt, and working hard to gain the experience I need to be able to attain a job near my hometown.
posted by speedoavenger at 6:39 PM on October 4, 2008
Make a plan to move home. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live near family. Have a plan -- ask HR about a transfer, look into jobs you can get there with other companies, whatever it takes. You're already well into the year's work before HR will transfer you, and if you go to them with a real job offer in your hometown, they might be willing to speed it up to keep you. You have all sorts of options, and you'll probably feel better once you're working on getting back home.
If you want to move home, do so. You can always move away again. Lots of people live near family their entire lives and are perfectly happy, fulfilled people with good lives, not desperately needy people who cannot cope with the world. Family -- birth family or chosen family -- matters.
Do not, however, try to find a girlfriend in order to miss family less. That's a recipe for disaster.
posted by jeather at 7:39 PM on October 4, 2008
If you want to move home, do so. You can always move away again. Lots of people live near family their entire lives and are perfectly happy, fulfilled people with good lives, not desperately needy people who cannot cope with the world. Family -- birth family or chosen family -- matters.
Do not, however, try to find a girlfriend in order to miss family less. That's a recipe for disaster.
posted by jeather at 7:39 PM on October 4, 2008
Regarding DarlingBri's point about the needs of an eventual partner and children... that's one of the reasons that it makes sense to settle near family. As you move into that phase of your life, having family around will be invaluable.
That's a pretty big blanket statement there. The only known quantity at this juncture is speedoavenger and his family. The personality, lifestyle preferences and family situation of the putative Mrs Speedo are unknown, as are those of any children.
There are all kinds of families out there, and the kind of extended family situation Mrs Speedo is most comfortable with is most likely to be influenced by the experience of her familial culture, not his. Some people are "close to home" bodies and other of us are not. The relationship between wives and mother in laws also has tremendous potential for stain, especially when it comes to children.
Everyone may well end up playing big happy extended happy families, or they may not. We very consciously chose not to settle near my husband's family, because while his parents are/were very nice people, my MIL drove me up the wall after more than three days of exposure and I couldn't imagine subjecting an infant to the sheer volume of the insane Scottish aunties. There is simply no way to predict this, is all I'm saying. The choices that are right for some couples are not right for everyone.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:53 PM on October 4, 2008
That's a pretty big blanket statement there. The only known quantity at this juncture is speedoavenger and his family. The personality, lifestyle preferences and family situation of the putative Mrs Speedo are unknown, as are those of any children.
There are all kinds of families out there, and the kind of extended family situation Mrs Speedo is most comfortable with is most likely to be influenced by the experience of her familial culture, not his. Some people are "close to home" bodies and other of us are not. The relationship between wives and mother in laws also has tremendous potential for stain, especially when it comes to children.
Everyone may well end up playing big happy extended happy families, or they may not. We very consciously chose not to settle near my husband's family, because while his parents are/were very nice people, my MIL drove me up the wall after more than three days of exposure and I couldn't imagine subjecting an infant to the sheer volume of the insane Scottish aunties. There is simply no way to predict this, is all I'm saying. The choices that are right for some couples are not right for everyone.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:53 PM on October 4, 2008
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be near your family. I know when I was younger I moved a two-hour drive away from my family without a qualm (not that this is so much, but I don't have a car and there's no real public transit going to the town where they live). Now in my mid-thirties I regret not living closer. When I go home the conversation is all about people, places and events I don't know anything about, I got to see very little of my nieces and nephews as they were growing up, I feel I could make a difference in the quality and kind of medical care my dad receives if I were close enough to manage it, and when I think about adopting a child on my own.... well, I wish I'd established myself nearer my family.
Setting a timeline to move back (i.e, in two years) sounds like a good idea to me.
posted by orange swan at 8:29 PM on October 4, 2008
Setting a timeline to move back (i.e, in two years) sounds like a good idea to me.
posted by orange swan at 8:29 PM on October 4, 2008
I think it's great to want to be near your family. I'm currently having the internal conflict of wanting to go somewhere far and exciting (Lands Abroad!) but still wanting to be close to my family. I think my solution is to go for Far and Exciting, but limit it, timewise, with the plans to later return to not-so-far-from-family for when I settle down and such.
I definitely agree with the others about setting yourself a timeline that isn't too short, to give yourself a chance to get out and see what life is like when you're away from your family for a long time. At 24 and single, there's a lot to do for yourself. Do things, be active, find friends and such, and see what it's like in 2 years. You can still move back, and moving back isn't a bad thing, but if you're afraid it's because you depend on your family, put yourself in a situation where you have to depend on yourself for a while, and see how you do.
posted by that girl at 6:43 AM on October 5, 2008
I definitely agree with the others about setting yourself a timeline that isn't too short, to give yourself a chance to get out and see what life is like when you're away from your family for a long time. At 24 and single, there's a lot to do for yourself. Do things, be active, find friends and such, and see what it's like in 2 years. You can still move back, and moving back isn't a bad thing, but if you're afraid it's because you depend on your family, put yourself in a situation where you have to depend on yourself for a while, and see how you do.
posted by that girl at 6:43 AM on October 5, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
Here's what I would suggest: unless you're completely miserable, plan to move back to your hometown in, say, two years. This will give you time to build up skills and a good reputation at your current company, and will make it easier to find a job closer to home.
In the meantime, do develop your relationship skills. Date, get involved in a fun sports league or whatever, have 20s-ish fun. Try your hardest to develop a sense of community where you are now. The post-college time can be really, really hard - you go from an insulated community to a grownup at sea in the world. But your 20s can also be a LOT of fun. Take advantage of this time when you're living in a new city, with no familial obligations.
posted by lunasol at 3:49 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]