How sell a healthy lifestyle to my sedentary father?
October 1, 2008 10:21 AM Subscribe
Exercise/diet suggestions for getting my father to take better care of himself.
My father (61) had a major surgery to remove an aortic embolism in his thigh and chest a couple of years ago. Although the surgery forced him to stop smoking and a later diagnosis of a pancreas issue caused him to quit drinking, he is eating poorly and not exercising. I'm trying to find the right way to get him to take care of himself without being preachy, condescending or "guilting" him into it. That is step one.
Step two would be the actual program. I know enough about diet and exercise to know how he could reap instant benefits and lose some weight. Some quick changes to his diet would be to not drink his calories, eat less red meat, limit sugary snacks. The exercise front is proving more difficult. Unfortunately due to his surgery he has been left with a fragile midsection that could split open under physical stress, so lifting weights would be a difficult option. Worse yet, is that he uses that as an excuse to not exercise.
To summarize, I need to convince my sedentary, poor eating father to take better care of himself without strenuous exercise.
My father (61) had a major surgery to remove an aortic embolism in his thigh and chest a couple of years ago. Although the surgery forced him to stop smoking and a later diagnosis of a pancreas issue caused him to quit drinking, he is eating poorly and not exercising. I'm trying to find the right way to get him to take care of himself without being preachy, condescending or "guilting" him into it. That is step one.
Step two would be the actual program. I know enough about diet and exercise to know how he could reap instant benefits and lose some weight. Some quick changes to his diet would be to not drink his calories, eat less red meat, limit sugary snacks. The exercise front is proving more difficult. Unfortunately due to his surgery he has been left with a fragile midsection that could split open under physical stress, so lifting weights would be a difficult option. Worse yet, is that he uses that as an excuse to not exercise.
To summarize, I need to convince my sedentary, poor eating father to take better care of himself without strenuous exercise.
I tend to think that older folks would like something like the so called 100 mile diet, where you only eat things produced (fully) within 100 miles of you. This would limit you to almost all organic products.
Another aspect is just pure knowledge. When people realize how bad sugar (simple carbs, so bread, pasta, etc. as well) are for you and how much more of it we eat than, say, 50 years ago it makes it a lot easier to change.
To get him to do it (or anything) start doing it too. You can go for walks with him or just update each other on # of miles or whatever. For diet, shop together or exchange favorite places to buy from or split large orders. I don't really know how your diet/exercise is but maybe you can insinuate that his recent surgery and condition has made you want to get healthy so you can be around longer for your kids.
Good luck.
posted by wolfkult at 10:44 AM on October 1, 2008
Another aspect is just pure knowledge. When people realize how bad sugar (simple carbs, so bread, pasta, etc. as well) are for you and how much more of it we eat than, say, 50 years ago it makes it a lot easier to change.
To get him to do it (or anything) start doing it too. You can go for walks with him or just update each other on # of miles or whatever. For diet, shop together or exchange favorite places to buy from or split large orders. I don't really know how your diet/exercise is but maybe you can insinuate that his recent surgery and condition has made you want to get healthy so you can be around longer for your kids.
Good luck.
posted by wolfkult at 10:44 AM on October 1, 2008
I'll second the walking recommendation. My dad has done well with this. Getting out for a breath of fresh air has physical and mental benefits that gym workouts can't always match. Plus, if your dad is into keeping stats, he can use a calendar to log his miles.
To encourage my dad to keep walking, I bought him a basic Garmin Forerunner 101 GPS for Christmas one year. It keeps track of his distance, pace, etc. but isn't too fancy (controls can be daunting for the older set, but I wrote out simple instructions and step in to "fix" when needed). He used to use pedometers but was frustrated by their inaccuracy/durability.
If weather is an issue, Wii Fit or some Biggest Loser Workout DVDs might be a solution. If you can lead by example, all the better, but especially try to resist the urge to preach/instruct. Let him take ownership of the routine.
posted by xiaolongbao at 11:33 AM on October 1, 2008
To encourage my dad to keep walking, I bought him a basic Garmin Forerunner 101 GPS for Christmas one year. It keeps track of his distance, pace, etc. but isn't too fancy (controls can be daunting for the older set, but I wrote out simple instructions and step in to "fix" when needed). He used to use pedometers but was frustrated by their inaccuracy/durability.
If weather is an issue, Wii Fit or some Biggest Loser Workout DVDs might be a solution. If you can lead by example, all the better, but especially try to resist the urge to preach/instruct. Let him take ownership of the routine.
posted by xiaolongbao at 11:33 AM on October 1, 2008
Dude with an aortic embolism isn't likely to realize the benefits of an organic diet. Weight Watchers is pretty solid as far as tracking food intake and portion size. Takes some work, but it's pretty effective.
posted by electroboy at 11:50 AM on October 1, 2008
posted by electroboy at 11:50 AM on October 1, 2008
so, I really, really relate to this situation...
I'll nth the walking suggestion. It's something he knows how to do, and it's cheap save the cost of some good walking shoes. Because my had balance issues as well, I got him a recumbent stationary bike, which is fairly easy to use, doesn't require teetering atop a stick like traditional stationary bikes, and you can do it in front of the TV, when it's raining, etc. I was able to find a relatively cheap (~US$100-150) yet solidly built one via amazon.
Next, I'd suggest to lead by example, in a sense. How are you in terms of fitness and diet? Is there any way you can bring up changes you've made to benefit yourself? For instance, did you stop/limit drinking soda/meat/etc? How did it make you feel? What cool/great things happened as a result? Or, if you live nearby, how about making dinner or going with him on walks? Showing him by example how to eat and live better, and how it's helped you, can be very motivating to others. Healthiness can kind of rub off, especially if you spend time together, whether eating meals together, or deciding to talk while taking a stroll rather than staying on the couch.
Another very important point to bring up, though, is how is your dad doing emotionally? Do you get the impression he WANTS to get better? If he doesn't care about improving his life/well-being, the aforementioned tips won't really help. It might even make him feel worse. Depression very often comes up post-surgery, so, if you haven't already, you should sort of check in on how he's doing on that front, too.
Feel free to me-mail, but I'll likely check back to hear others' suggestions, too. Good luck.
posted by NikitaNikita at 2:11 PM on October 1, 2008
I'll nth the walking suggestion. It's something he knows how to do, and it's cheap save the cost of some good walking shoes. Because my had balance issues as well, I got him a recumbent stationary bike, which is fairly easy to use, doesn't require teetering atop a stick like traditional stationary bikes, and you can do it in front of the TV, when it's raining, etc. I was able to find a relatively cheap (~US$100-150) yet solidly built one via amazon.
Next, I'd suggest to lead by example, in a sense. How are you in terms of fitness and diet? Is there any way you can bring up changes you've made to benefit yourself? For instance, did you stop/limit drinking soda/meat/etc? How did it make you feel? What cool/great things happened as a result? Or, if you live nearby, how about making dinner or going with him on walks? Showing him by example how to eat and live better, and how it's helped you, can be very motivating to others. Healthiness can kind of rub off, especially if you spend time together, whether eating meals together, or deciding to talk while taking a stroll rather than staying on the couch.
Another very important point to bring up, though, is how is your dad doing emotionally? Do you get the impression he WANTS to get better? If he doesn't care about improving his life/well-being, the aforementioned tips won't really help. It might even make him feel worse. Depression very often comes up post-surgery, so, if you haven't already, you should sort of check in on how he's doing on that front, too.
Feel free to me-mail, but I'll likely check back to hear others' suggestions, too. Good luck.
posted by NikitaNikita at 2:11 PM on October 1, 2008
PS: I knew there was something I read recently about the heart health/depression thing, and it was news release from yesterday, go figure. link: Heart patients + depression
posted by NikitaNikita at 2:17 PM on October 1, 2008
posted by NikitaNikita at 2:17 PM on October 1, 2008
Nthing walking. My dad survived a heart attack and bypass surgery when he was in his 70s, but still was reluctant to get out of his easy chair ("There's so much to watch on TV!" was his excuse.) My mom got the wake-up call from his illnesses and started walking daily without him, many times accompanied by her sister. They'd venture out in different directions, covering more distance every day. What always enriched their walks, though, was finding money on the ground. Whether it be a penny or dime or sometimes a Canadian loonie (we're not far from the Detroit/Windsor border), they pick up every coin and make something of a game of it - "Who can find the most money?" Well, eventually Dad saw the coins accumulating in Mom's jar and asked, increduously, "You're just finding this money on the street??" So he started walking with Mom every day and collecting coins. Sure, walking while hunched over looking at the ground isn't tops for his posture, but at least it gets him out of his chair for 30 minutes a day.
posted by Oriole Adams at 11:14 AM on October 2, 2008
posted by Oriole Adams at 11:14 AM on October 2, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
Can you help him with his grocery shopping each week? This way you could maybe help direct him as to what foods to get - more veggies, etc.
posted by All.star at 10:32 AM on October 1, 2008