Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with young

Help, I sound like an intern.

mochapickle — Sun, 05 May 2013 10:04:07 -0800

How do I sound older (35+) on conference calls? I started a new consulting position in a new industry about seven months ago. A great deal of my work happens on the phone -- calling subject matter experts, calling executives, gathering consensus with contacts across the US. I'm well over 35, but during these calls I often get mistaken for early 20s, even during non-technical calls. Most of our other consultants are in their 40s and 50s and sound more mature.

Obviously, picking up the taxonomy/alphabet soup of a new industry takes time, so I understand that a likely contributing factor is my not having the correct lingo at 100% just yet. Also, I have been mindful of removing words like like from my standard vocabulary.

I'm very candid and approachable on my calls, I'm a good listener, and I often strike an instant rapport with my contacts, but I sometimes get thinly veiled (and thickly shrouded) questions about my experience level. Last week, a contact said he wanted to drink whatever I was drinking (I was stone sober).

I love the phone aspect of my work. I want to sound my age (35+), but keep the approachability/candor. I have a solid reputation with my ongoing contacts, but the new ones definitely get thrown for a loop at first. I feel like sounding young makes me have to take more steps in building their trust in me.

If you used to sound young on the phone, did any changes work for you? Do you know of techniques for dropping an octave? Are there words and phrases I should banish forever?

Why am I doubting my relationship all of a sudden?

Chelsaroo650 — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 08:37:38 -0800

I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months. At 9 months he finally said he loved me, but I don't know if I really feel the love from him. Out of nowhere I'm having strong doubts. What should I do about them? Is this normal? I'm 21, he's 25 and things have been kind of questionable from his side the whole time we have been dating. He was the guy I posted about who told me to go home once when we initially started dating. He doesn't act like that anymore, things have changed considerably, but some things remain about the same.

It took 4 months before he started to want to see me more, and I didn't know if it was truly a viable relationship with how he was acting. He did change some, invited me over, we started to have a lot more fun together. Yet he didn't always contact me much besides two or three texts or a late phone call every now and then.

In fact, once we reached the 6 month mark and beyond up until the 9 month love confession, I couldn't tell if he was in love. My thought process went like this "I love him, does he love me? Are we in love with each other?" I didn't know if I felt it from him.

He told me on Valentine's Day, which was sweet but I was upset he wasn't compelled to tell me a couple months before. He then seemed to treat saying "I love you" like something you say and then get over with. He wasn't saying it when we left each other, after we slept together, just not much at all. The day after he said it I said I loved him in a text and he said "lubb you." Now we can be silly, but it just didn't seem right.

He does show his love in other ways; practical ways. Getting me something useful around the house, cleaning things for me, cooking for me, giving me gas money if he worries I might not have enough. He's like that because of caring for his mother and sister, I'm quite sure. There is no father figure in his family.

I do remember one night when we left his sister's and he said goodnight, and that he loved her... And i was overwhelmed with... Why can't you say that to me?!

We do get along well, laugh a lot, like a lot of the same things. Yet I have doubts about the validity of it all. I haven't wanted sex, partially because it's routine and partially because I don't feel loved in the end. The words don't come.

I also have another issue, and maybe I'm just crazy, but our relationship is not on facebook. Not even that we are in one. My friends have pictures, they're getting married, moving in together... And I can't even get my boyfriend to post our status. He says he wants his privacy and that everyone already knows we're together. Yet it still bugs me. Like it will be easy for him to walk away because I haven't left my mark.

He also has trouble with making me a priority or including me. I work a lot, but when I had three evenings off in a row... He went to see his mom the one night, his friends the next, and promised me he would drive out to my parents' house to see me. He always has an excuse, and this time was no different; "I'm kinda tired, think I might need to stay home and relax today." I was miffed. He ended up coming out, but purely out of guilt. Granted we do see each other 3 to 4 times a week, I always pack up and come over. But don't feel the same desire from him.

I told him I felt like the last person on the list and that he doesn't come through for me. I know he cares for his mother and everything... But I can still make time to see him with my crazy schedule. I do love him, but don't always feel loved. I don't know what the future holds. I did have a talk with him about needing him to say i love you more, making me a priority, and about the future. He said he hadn't thought very far, that he's not ready to be on his own with someone, and that marriage wasn't an option yet. I am not wanting to be married, but i would at least have liked to speak of moving in or getting engaged... Which he hasn't.

He's been trying to get me to move in with his sister who lives alone. She's kind of difficult and selfish to live with from what I gather. I got a vibe from him about our relationship when he mentioned the moving in with his sister thing would be temporary. I felt like I was temporary.

I had been silencing these doubts for awhile when I started investigating why I wasn't interested in sex, which triggered anxiety because everything I read said my relationship was over. I panicked. I ran away with the idea it was over and started doubting everything at once. Like a switch turned my doubts on full blast. I started thinking I love him, no you don't, yes I do! The anxiety escalated one night about a week ago to the point where I was in tears. I was with my boyfriend that night but suddenly found myself in the bathroom crying to my mom on the floor. My mind was telling me "you should just end it" but my heart was saying no.

I started thinking intensely about why the doubts exploded. Whether that was what I wanted. I don't know the future, which does bother me. I don't know if I feel in love, because his love is not like other loves,I've experienced. I'm not sure about it. I started seeing guys at college wondering is that what i want? Would he be more romantic? Enthusiastic? I was so upset I landed in the counselor's office at school.

That same day a guy who had struck up a conversation with me a week before saw me and waited to talk to me after class. I didn't know what to think about the contact but felt special from it. It ended with him asking for my phone number. I was testing myself to see if I wanted to date others so I gave him it. He texted me right away and asked me what I was doing the next day. I said working and eventually said I was in a relationship.

I stopped talking to him because i wanted to work things out with my boyfriend. He says he will talk to me more, tell me he loves me more, and wants me to be happy. I just feel like we never had this bond other couples have, where they are stuck on each other. They're in love, they are there for each other. He's been saying it more and texting me a little bit more, and driving to me more... But I wish he was in love with me enough to want to do those things. Yet I want to be with him... I still love him. But I wish he was proud of our relationship and showed it off. I'm at a loss. My anxiety is through the roof.

Book recommendation for a 13-year-old girl?

janey47 — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:34:52 -0800

For her bat mitzvah, I would like to give my niece a book that is age appropriate but will also have lasting value. Suggestions? If there were such a thing as "Tiny Beautiful Things" (by Cheryl Strayed, aka "Sugar") for 13-year-olds, that would be perfect. Another thought (which I may have to resort to) is "How Proust Can Change Your Life" by Alain de Botton. My preference is to give her a collectible copy, such as a first edition, so a book that was wildly popular and was first published 50 years ago will probably be out of my price range. But I'm completely stumped.

Help with SOYA Torrent Download

rmttws — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:19:17 -0800

I'm about to leave for a two-day long car trip and I thought I could listen to some podcasts to pass the time. I'm a huge Bullseye with Jesse Thorn (formerly Sound of Young America) fan and I saw a link on the Maximum Fun website to download a torrent of all of the old episodes. So I downloaded the .torrent file and opened it on uTorrent but nothing happened. Any help on my predicament? What am I doing wrong and what can I do to properly download the files?

YANMD/YANML, but can you offer advice on my osteoarthritis situation?

Sakura3210 — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 06:18:26 -0800

Following some intense pain I felt back in August, I began going to doctors to figure out the cause. I've been diagnosed with osteoarthritis. I am in my mid-twenties. I could use some help figuring out my next medical and legal steps. Medical
I've seen 3 specialists (1 sports medicine/orthopedist and 2 orthopedist/surgeons).

The SM noted I have a bone spur, and seemed to think that my August pain was due to a hip impingement caused by the spur. Recommended surgery to shave it down. One of the surgeons basically agreed with the SM (bone spur, hip arthroscopy to shave it down). The last surgeon (supposedly one of the best in the nation) told me that my cartilage is too far gone (plus I apparently have cysts on the femur bone), so that a full hip replacement is my only real option. His opinion is the August pain was likely due to a cyst exploding, causing inflammation.

I would really like to avoid surgery- I've had it before for another part of my body, and the surrounding areas now hurt almost daily. The hip is not severely hurting me (only when I overdo it do I flare up, and nowhere near as bad as August). What should I do? Do I see another specialist? Is it a bad idea to avoid the surgery? If not, how can I make my hip better/avoid making it worse?

Legal
The doctors all seemed to agree this was caused by trauma. The most likely culprit was a fall I took 2 years ago on a giant patch of ice (flew through the air, smashed hit the ground with my hip) that was on the sidewalk in front of the stairs that lead into my building. I got up (hurting pretty bad) and went to the super to tell him about the patch, and he went to break it up with a shovel. I tried going to class, but the pain was too much, so I went home and spent the next two days in bed (possibly more? Can't remember 100%). I do not think I went to the doctor (stupid me, but I think I figured it was just a bad bruise, and that it would heal). Everything seemed fine afterwards, so I forgot about it until all this went down. Might I have a viable complaint? I usually just let these things slide, but since I now have irreversible damage...

Sorry this is so long, but I am really concerned about my future health and well-being. Any advice is welcome. Thanks!

Career advice for young couple in their 30's

99percentfake — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 09:24:53 -0800

Career advice for young couple in their 30's: What is their best path forward? Here are their academic backgrounds, work histories, and other activities:

Wife
1. High school diploma (drum major in marching band)
2. BA, General Studies (coursework in Music, French, Psychology)
3. MA, Music Therapy
4. Other studies: about 30 credits shy of a BA in Psychology
5. Graduated from real estate school (did not take licensing test)
6. Top two personal interests: candle-making, calligraphy
7. Longest tenure in a job to this point: two years as an academic office worker
8. Highest earnings ever: $13/hr at the academic office
9. Has never worked/volunteered in the fields of Music, French, Psychology, Music Therapy, or Real Estate

Husband
1. High school diploma (very active with yearbook committee and newspaper)
2. BA, History
3. Other studies: one semester of law school
4. MFA, Photography
5. MA, Religious Studies (with some work towards doctorate)
6. Top two personal interests: blogging about politics/current events, Wordpress
7. Longest tenure in a job to this point: 18 months in the dairy section of a supermarket
8. Highest earnings ever: $250/job as a freelance photographer (less than $5k lifetime earnings)
9. Has never worked/volunteered in the fields of History, Law, or Religious Studies

They are unclear as to what kind of career they want to pursue. Assume they have not networked with past classmates and do not have any industry contacts. Based on their backgrounds, what is the best path forward? What would allow them to maximize their earning potential?

Healthy living recommendations for young professionals?

platosadvocate — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 11:54:58 -0800

You are a young professional in your late twenties, and have just realized you are not invincible after all. What healthy practices do you start to ensure the best quality of life moving forward? Over the last few months I've discovered that I am, indeed, not invincible. Many tests have been done, many more to follow, but is increasingly probably that I have non-bacterial prostatitis. Fun!

I used to be able to live pretty hard. Think "Late night college parties followed by a 10 mile run at 6 am" hard. Now, at 27, if I don't get a full 8 hours of sleep before work I'm dragging. I guess this is the natural progression towards "get off my lawn, you young whippersnappers!"

So now I'm on a health kick. I want to make sure that my actions today don't lead to a terrible future. I already exercise and weight train, have started drinking tea, have dropped beer, and am in general trying to live / eat better.

Which leads to my question: What practices have you implemented to be healthier, and procure a better, longer life? What super healthy foods do you eat? Any vitamins / supplements that made a significant impact on your life?

Thanks!

I look older than my age. How can I look my age?

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 07:03:40 -0800

I look way older than my age. How can I fix this? It's really starting to take a toll on me. I'm in the first half of my twenties, and people often express utter shock when they find out how old I am. I take care of my skin, eat well, am slender, and don't wear too much makeup. Some people say I just carry myself well. I've been told I'm really beautiful, but then people really seem surprised when I tell them my age. People think I'm anywhere from four to eight years older! Only once somebody though I was much younger--this was when I was volunteering for an event. It is really starting to make me depressed. What can I do to look more my age? Is it just my bone structure? Am I doomed to look this much older for the rest of my life?

How to convey enthusiasm on the job hunt?

bluelights — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:47:47 -0800

I just moved to a big city after graduating college in August. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do, and I'm not the most ambitious or confident person, to say the least. I have a somewhat untreated case of ADD, but I don't take my meds anymore; I'm finding coffee and exercise are much better. Anyways, I have gotten two different pieces of negative feedback on my phone behavior with people who had the potential to give me a job; they both basically said I sounded unenthusiastic. What is a good way to remedy this? There's a larger problem here, my lack of confidence and ambition, but I know I can do this... fake it til you make it.

I guess I had thought the phone conversation was more casual, an exchange of information, but I do understand they are screening for whether I'd be a good candidate. The lady I last talked to said more than once "Now, you went to college, right? So (insert something impressive you did/learned)" which really put me on the defensive.

Also, how do I handle the networking from here on out? If people get this kind of feedback, are they still going to want to help me? Or should I just stop expecting it after something like that. I cannot let this job hunt demoralize me or crack my already-fragile self esteem; I need to make this work. I AM intelligent, attractive, engaged, and capable, and in-person I tend to make a good impression.

What TAL episode is this?

laptolain — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 09:25:57 -0800

I'm looking for a This American Life episode about a bunch of adolescent geeks/nerds hanging out in NYC. They go around pulling simple scams and social engineering pranks. I tried searching all the titles and descriptions on the TAL website but nothing rings a bell. It might have been a short segment in one of their 3 part episodes

Does anyone know where this .gif is from?

mysticreferee — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 17:10:21 -0800

Does anyone know which movie / show / video this .gif is from? THIS .GIF

frustration and connection in the city?

elephantsvanish — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 18:25:12 -0800

How have you negotiated being frustrated with the culture and experience of young-white-people-in-the-city without alienating friends or becoming a hypocrite/cynic/other mopey monster variant? (I have a strong streak of self-imposed outsider in me, meaning that while I am drawn to people, I periodically wander off the map and become increasingly in my own world of research and books and stuff. That's an important emotional context for this question:)

I'm a year out of school and trying to stay connected and healthy in this city. Most of the time I think I'm doing pretty well. But recently, I've become very sharply disenchanted with that whole effort. I'm half Mexican but grew up without connection to that family/culture. Most see me as white, and many of my peers are white, and while I know it's equally prejudicial to reject any group, I can't help but see things as "privileged white young kids adventuring around together" and become very, very frustrated. Some of my friends are lurching towards adult-life by discovering their love of fine things, furniture and money and blah blah, and others are reveling in the minimal bikes-and-beer aesthetic, and while this is not evil or anything, it just makes me feel disconnected and sad, kind of. On one hand I love that many folks I know are creating music and art and celebrating each other's efforts, but another part of me is frustrated that these efforts don't seem to extend past the contexts of the lives they're leading, and have so little or nothing to do with the suffering that's going on out there in the world.

As you can see, I'm trying not to frame myself as being judgmental, but maybe I'm doing just that. I devote my working life to service and community things, and this does energize me. I suppose it's kind of like, when I get to the part of life that's supposed to be the relaxed moments, the celebratory moments, the we-worked-all-week-for-this! moments, those are actually the ones where I feel saddest and most lost, wand I have to hide that. It's not my party, it's the wrong party, the motions are mimicked.

Also as I'm sure you all can infer, I've struggled for years with social anxiety. However this has improved hugely over the last 3 years or so. But I don't really want to think of this struggle in terms of an individualistic diagnostic framework, you know? I think many people are probably feeling exactly as I am. I'm concerned with how to take practical steps to not feel like the life I'm choosing, as we all choose this all every day, is not in bad faith, and that I'm reaching out in the right ways.

tl;dr: What are some strategies you have to readjust your involvement with social circles and urban spaces and whatever so that you don't fall into trap of privleged adventurism for its own sake? Is this the sort of thing where "discovering my roots" and diving into Mexican culture could help? How do you not take yourself too seriously and at the same time, be compassionate to yourself so that weekends don't end up so wounding, in a sense, and are instead about connection and other people? (This needs its own tl;dr, ha)

(p.s. - i have been reading these HR posts over the years and find myself incredibly soothed by the discourse that always emerges. so thank you in advance. it's like with any kind of research - figuring out how to think about the issue in the first place is most of the battle.)

Where can I meet/hang-out/make merry with other young queers in San Francisco?

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 10:27:14 -0800

Where can I meet/hang-out/make merry with other young queers in San Francisco? So I'm a southerner and I recently came-out to some of my friends and have been becoming more comfortable with my sexuality, yay hooray etc. For other reasons entirely, I've found myself spending the next week in San Francisco, which my furtive watching of Gus van Sant movies, abiding love of the Beat movement, and consuming of queer histories built up to me as an amazing Gay Mecca. I was pretty elated about the chance to visit. The Castro was so cool during the daytime, unlike anything i'd ever experienced, and I picked up some amazing books. HOWEVER, at night I nervously ventured into some gay bars (my firsts. ever.) and was really intimidated and also felt massively young. MASSIVELY.

Now I have no problems at all with older gay men, and i actually think they're awesome and they give me hope and are great conversation. However, I was really hoping to, for once, find a place where I could be with others like me. But like me as I am now, not the iteration down the line where I'm suspicious of new musical movements and buy paint swatches. I just want to approximate the feeling my straight friends get at every youngish bar and cafe and club i've ever been too.

More information, since this is anonymous: I'm male. Stylewise, I fall somewhere on the hipster spectrum because I like indie music (and rap and electronica!), books, and would be blind without my large glasses. I am for all intents and purposes of legal drinking age, and I'm pretty dorky but I can get along anywhere. I can be very political when needed, so radical stuff/places is a plus, not a minus. But not at all a requirement. I would love a bar scene (drinking! whoo!), but i could force myself to do a club and I brought tons of books so I could read in cafes. Thats a thing, right?

Potential follow-up: So, if these places exist where I can meet other young LGBTers in a social setting, I'm a total neophyte at all this Meeting-People-and-Maybe-Even-Flirting business. I'm assuming its different than flirting with girls, but any tips? Is it super weird and desperate to just walk up to someone and say hi? Will all conversation with cute guys come off as coming on? What if I just wanna be friendly? And the bandana thing is totally of the past right? Any signals I should either give or be wary of? If I'm reading, should I make sure its a gayish book (I have some Ginsberg and Whitman, and I have Rechy's City of the Night or Hornito by Albo if I should be super obvious) or would it be fine if I brought the Kim Stanley Robinson I'm reading. Cuz it's pretty good...

Thanks for all your help! I'm sorry if this question is super lame, I'm just like very nervous and overwhelmed but also excited. Any advice, really any, is the best.

Help me find a blog.

uncannyslacks — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 13:15:45 -0800

Help me find a blog. I remember it vaguely as either "Stuff Young Professionals Like" or "Things College Grads Say." Two posts I remember specifically were:

NPR

(sarcastic paragraph)

Their College Sports Team

(snarky paragraph)

I've Googled the hell out of this and still can't find it. Anyone?

Best clothing brands for men in their 20's

Parh6512 — Mon, 21 May 2012 02:54:51 -0800

What are some good clothing brands for young men in their 20's? I'm in college right now and about to enter the working world soon. My closet is filled with Abercrombie, Hollister, and other preppy clothes. Want to get rid of all those and shop for new clothes that are more appropriate for my age (22). What are some good brands that I can look into that will not break my wallet?

How do I get my boyfriend to get Viagra or something

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 09:06:02 -0800

How do I convince my boyfriend to get help for ED? My boyfriend is 26; I am a 21yo girl. We have been dating for about a year and a half. Over the past two months, we have had sex maybe four times. He is depressed, and also has some old medical issues that cause him some pain during sex (no, he won't see a dr about that either). He has bad insurance (but he has insurance) and hasn't gone to see a doctor. This situation has happened before but eventually he got back to normal. It wasn't this long though. I am frustrated and sad and also my sex drive is really suffering. I know there are other things to do but I really want to have sex, and it is making me really unhappy not to have sex. I can't tell him that without making him feel bad, though, and that makes it harder to have sex...and basically I am miserable but not saying anything about it and he is miserable (I assume??) and hoping I don't say anything about it. I really just want to have normal sex with my boyfriend and not have it be this big deal. I worry that this issue is starting to become loaded in my mind, because it is also very frustrating for me that he won't take action in other areas in his life (he is jobless but won't apply for retail jobs for example even though there are plenty in our area, or even temp jobs) (and he won't see a doctor for his depression). And I don't want that to happen. We are both happier when our sex life is regular. (Also I am getting resentful - because I feel like he is doing this while knowing I am unhappy - and feeling unattractive, because he says this didn't happen with his other girlfriends.) Help?

Looking for Young Adult Science Fiction Trilogy

Eyeveex — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 16:07:54 -0800

Trying to find a Young Adult Fantasy Trilogy--Can't Remember the Name 10 years ago, I read a trilogy fantasy novel but I can't remember the name or many details.

It took place in an alternate universe that was sort of steam-punky, with mechanical clocks and other structures.

I recall that the heroine, perhaps an heiress, at one point either has to run away or gets lost, which forces her to wander a desert-like landscape that is filled with tigers and/or lions.

I feel like the protagonists' name was 'Ruby,' but I might be wrong. Has anyone else heard of/remember this? I know that the details are bad; I have scoured the internet with no results.

The Childless Dating Those With Children

CXXVII — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 12:47:52 -0800

I'm currently seeing a man who has children, and this is my first experience with such a situation. It's new, so I've only just started asking the important questions, i.e., why did you divorce in the first place, how long have you been divorced, how is your relationship with your ex, are you both at peace with how it ended? etc. Everything seems to check out so far, but I know it would be foolish to think I won't encounter some unique problems if things get serious. I know single fathers can potentially come with an incredible amount of baggage, and others might be far less problematic.. it's all relative to their situations. The main concerns I had in the beginning were: What if she's still in love with him and freaks out in a jealous rage over me? What if he didn't learn from his mistakes? What if his children treat me horribly? Is he emotionally intelligent? Will he make me feel like a priority? The list goes on. I have never been married nor do I have children of my own.

I'm looking for some advice from single fathers who date, as well as advice from women who have dated single fathers. I am not interested in hearing from those who have a snide remark and nothing valuable to offer. I like this guy, and he seems to be put together.

My questions:

What sort of probelms have you encountered when dating someone with children? How did you deal with those issues?

What problems, as a single parent, have you encountered while dating a childless person? How did you handle them?

Some details about Beau:
-He married young
-The marriage lasted for ten years
-He's been divorced for three years
-He has two children under the age of ten
-He is financially stable

Proustian Book

Infernarl — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:36:02 -0800

I remember a Young Adult Chapter book that I am trying to remember the name of. The premise of the book was that you could achieve perfection by wearing a pickle around your neck, because nothing would be as embarrassing as that so you could do anything. There was a pamphlet that suggested that a boy do this but the pamphlet stressed that you couldn't read ahead in the pamphlet. Anyone?

to baldly go where...

Anonymous — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:26:43 -0800

Are there any actively good-looking hairstyles/cuts for young balding guys? I am a mid-twenties guy, and I am going quite bald. I have a near bald-spot on the top of my crown and noticeably thin hair from there up to my forehead. I have dark hair. It's been peacing out since I was a late teen, so I've pretty much come to terms with it. I don't feel hideous or freakish anymore. The one thing that I still feel resentful over, though, is that other guys my age get to actually express various styles through their hair. I hate how all the options for me basically boil down to damage control.

I'm not a particularly vain guy, I just want to feel like I have choices. Usually I keep my hair cropped pretty close-- maybe a 3 or so clipper. But I feel like this just makes me look...square. Going bald makes me feel old-looking enough; do I really have to have a dad haircut to accentuate it?

For some reason even when my hair is cut very short, it is still kind of floppy on top and falls onto my head instead of standing up pert, making me look kind of baldybald. Do I just need to go even shorter? Whenever I ask the barber if I should go shorter, they usually kind of wince and assure me that this looks better. I definitely don't want to go with a shaved head; I have a gargantuan, moley head, and combined with my affect I don't think it would have the desired cool-guy effect on me.

Honestly, I think my hair looks pretty good when it's a little bit on the becoming-shaggy side, but I'm not sure how to pull this off without looking combovery. Part of this is that it's SO HARD to see what hairstyles actually look like on one's self; in different lighting I'll look at the same haircut and be like daaaaaamn, lookin' good, or AAAAAAH WHY IS THERE A YARD OF SCALP FLESH. I have no idea what people actually see.

tl;dr. What are good options for a balding young guy who wants to look his age?

Young Midwesterner needs help finding a field of study

goodetyme — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 14:12:09 -0800

I'm a young female in the Midwest, motivated to work in medical science, but am otherwise directionless. Help me put my puzzle pieces of strengths and weaknesses together to decide on a field of study? I'm a 23 year old female living in a Midwestern city with a metro-area population of about a million people. I was a pretty average high school student, but only because I didn't realize the impact my academic performance could have on my early adult years. If I could do it all over again, I would have pushed myself to excel. I took classes at a vocational college during my junior and senior years and later transferred those credits to a local community college. A year later, I graduated with an Associate's Degree in Networking Technology... An area I really have no interest in.

My parents aren't able to financially assist me with college, so once I graduated, I immediately got a job to pay off my small student loan. I've worked in a couple of call centers and currently work as an underpaid analyst at a grocery retailer. Since the moment I graduated from junior college, I've been trying to decide what to go back to school for, but I don't have any particular passions or interests that have both an academic path and stable job market. If I was going to return to college for fun, I'd be a Cultural Anthropology major, but I'm really trying to be smart about the decisions I make now.

What I do know is that I'm sick of sitting in an office chair for 45 hours a week, week after week, working towards absolutely nothing. I have the motivation and drive to get myself something else and somewhere else in life, but I'm having trouble picking my jump-off point. I have an interest in science, but I haven't taken a science class since high school. Medical sciences especially appeal to me and offer the opportunity for many different kinds of jobs, but I was hoping the hive mind could help point me to the fields that I might be best suited for.

Strengths:
Extremely organized and detail-oriented
Excellent written communication
Creative problem solver
Strong prioritization skills
Punctual
Responsible (trustworthy, able to (and prefer to) work alone and motivate self)

At every job I've held, I've created a detailed technical manual to help myself understand the intricacies of the work and perform my job better. After my current employer learned that about me, I was assigned to the task of creating a manual for my analyst position and developed an in-depth 100-page technical manual. I think technical writing comes naturally to me and I just wanted to mention it in case it brings any fields to mind that involve something similar. Technical Writing as a profession itself seems like a difficult freelance effort and doesn't interest me very much.

Weaknesses:
Aversion to working with the public
Average to below average math skills
Travel limited (highway phobia)
Prefer not to work in an office setting

I have this weird thing about touching strangers, so I don't think I could handle Nursing or other hands-on patient-oriented jobs. I like the idea of working in a lab, but like I said, I haven't taken a science class since high school and don't really have a frame of reference. Other than that, I'm kind of directionless. Since I have to depend on myself to pay for college, I'll have to work full-time while I attend classes. Are there any medical fields you think might be a good fit for me?

Possible Single Mom.

Anonymous — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 08:06:04 -0800

20 years old, pregnant, no longer with the father and he doesn't know yet. I need advice. Until recently, I was in a relationship with my ex for almost two years. We were engaged to be married. We had a number of problems, and over time I realized that it was a very unhealthy relationship (he was emotionally abusive, called me hurtful names and racial slurs, and cheated on me). I ended the relationship two months ago. He has since apologized and tried to reconcile. It's hard for me to say no to him, and part of me is afraid I'll go back to him. I know I need to stay away.

However, I have a major complication in cutting all ties with this man: I found out a few days ago that I am pregnant.

I don't know what to do, and I hope the metafilter community can help point me in the right direction. I have a medical condition that makes me practically infertile. My doctor was astonished that I was able to get pregnant, and has encouraged me to consider this a real opportunity to have a biological child. For this reason, the idea of an abortion or an adoption makes me cringe, and I want to keep the child.

My ex has a child from a previous relationship and is not interested in having more children. I am afraid that if I go to him he will push me to not keep the child. Even if he were interested in being a father, the thought of raising a child with this man who treated me so poorly is horrifying.

I am currently staying with my family who has assured me their support, but I am scared to raise this child on my own, and unsure of raising this child without a father. My mother has agreed to be with me when I tell my ex about the pregnancy, but I'm not ready to confront him yet. I know he'll act polite and loving when my mom is there, but when it's just the two of us I am afraid it will turn ugly. He is very manipulative and has hurt me in the past, and I can only imagine he will use this as an opportunity to hurt and manipulate me again.

I am in the Atlanta area for the summer and will be returning to Manhattan in a few months. What resources are available to me in my situation? What are the legal issues of raising the child on my own if don't want my ex involved at all? I have health insurance, and have been to see my family physician and a family therapist. I am looking into counseling services at Planned Parenthood. Any advice you can give me would help tremendously. Even with my family's support I feel very scared and alone right now.

Second Grade Teaching Resources?

Mrs. Pterodactyl — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 07:21:45 -0800

I'm used to fourth graders - what are the best resources to prepare for my first time teaching second grade? I’ve just found out I’ll be teaching second grade next year – YAY! The only problem is that most of my experience is with older children (fourth grade especially). I want to be as prepared as possible; what are the best resources for understanding second graders and planning the year? I’m looking especially for things related to daily routines/activities but would also appreciate suggestions related to academics, child development, ways of communicating - anything regarding kids in this age group (NOT general teaching resources; I have plenty of those). In addition, this is in a very low-income area so if there is anything that will help me with younger kids in a “high needs” school (urban, not rural) that would be great. Thank you!

Also, if you could direct me to an easily printable version of the Common Core State Standards that would be awesome; I can only find them broken up into four or five fifteen page documents for each subject.

Walkable cities in Europe with a pleasant climate, lots of things to do/see?

Xere — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 04:05:04 -0800

I'd like to visit some walkable cities in Europe over the next six weekends. I don't know when I'll next be in Europe, so this is my chance. My current homebase of Dublin fits the bill: walkable, good public transportation, lovely climate (in my opinion), LOTS to see! I'm told that Amsterdam and Prague are absolute musts. Spain is, unfortunately, the flight prices are off the charts.

Amazing Adventures - You know, for kids.

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Mon, 16 May 2011 07:36:50 -0800

Rocket Boys? Kavalier and Clay? All Our Yesterdays... The Hive Mind has helped me with my short fiction before -- now I'm writing a book. It's a Young Adult novel set in 1935, based on a true story, in which my lead character gets involved with a rocket plane flight and discovers science fiction fandom... walk-ons include Fred Pohl, Isaac Asimov, and some well-known fans. I have loads of reference (Knight's The Futurians, Asimov's In Memory Yet Green, Merrill's Better to Have Loved, and Harry Warner' Jr's All Our Yesterdays) but want more.

I'd also like to read books like the one I am writing. (Twenty chapters in, now.) I thoroughly enjoyed Homer Hickam's Rocket Boys, about his youthful fascination with rockets. At the same time, while it wasn't strictly for kids, I loved The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon. What other books like these, about kids discovering science and/or popular culture, are around? Bonus points for Young Adult titles. (And yes, I already know about Heinlein's juveniles. But other books like those might work, as well.)