Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with young

Go Elk? young man?

parmanparman — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 20:06:24 -0800

I have been invited to become an Elk! At 30 years of age, I feel like this one achievement, however dubious, finally signals my movement into adulthood. But there must be better, more awesome, and my own-age groups to join. Tell me what they are!

I Don't Like Money

Kippersoft — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:45:46 -0800

I honestly have no interest in money, but I'm constantly reminded to invest my money. I've tried learning about it with little success, presumably because of my uncommon beliefs regarding money. So how do I invest this stuff so that I can maximize my joy in life and minimize my reliance on money? I'm 21 and live in Canada. I'm going into my 4th year of university and yet I probably know less about money than a 15 year old. I was never taught anything about in school and I've never had any interest in it. We're working with an entirely blank slate here (to put it into perspective, I was asked by my bank cashier if I got money on my tax return last year and I didn't understand what she meant... I'm totally stupid when it comes to money :P).

I recently picked up a Personal Finance for Dummies book and a Complete Idiots Guide to Personal Finance. I also read The Wealthy Barber a few years back. All of these were totally over my head. Furthermore, I assume this is all outdated because of the recession or whatever. ;)

I think my problem is that I don't really care about money -- it just doesn't mean that much to me. I don't buy much, I don't have any debt, I don't have any real expenses, and most of it just sits around.

So, all that said, what do I do with this stuff? Which of the Bonds/RRSPs/RRIFs/GICs/ROFLs/BBQs accounts do I put my money in? Here are my basic interests:
- Lets make it an even $10,000 I want to invest
- I want to save for my retirement and use this compound interest thing
- I don't want to lose money. I'm happy with whatever I've got, but I want to minimize my reliance on money. I don't want to be working while I'm 65 just so my family doesn't freeze in the winter. The more time I can enjoy life, the better.
- I want the "set it and forget it" approach. I don't have enough interest to make this a hobby for me.
- I don't want to pay anyone and I want to understand and run things myself (I just need to know where to start)
- Locking 100% of my money away for retirement means I can't enjoy life while I'm young which is a waste. I want some money available for my often spontaneous ideas. ("Maybe I'll by a car tomorrow or go on a vacation next Thursday...")

I know a sound like a naive, 90-year-old grandpa still living out the Depression with his money buried in a coffee can in the back yard (I'm only one step above that... I don't even own a bank card yet), but I just have no idea where to start and not enough ambition to learn about financial stuff which changes from month to month.

I know these might be a unique situation (which is exactly my problem), but where would you begin? What would you do to make the ideal, simple way to invest $10,000? What are the only one or two concepts (RRSPs, etc.) I need to learn and use?

All ideas and suggestions are very appreciated! :D

You got married at what age?

ripley_ — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:44:43 -0800

I’m in the process of divorcing, and starting to date seriously again. The catch: I’m absurdly young to be in this situation. How and when to break the news to dates? Here’s some background info:

I’m 22, male, and in the process of divorcing. I was married at 21 and it only lasted 10 months - we weren’t ready for it, weren't perfect for each other, etc etc. Yes, it was crazy to get married at that age but there were a lot of reasons for it at the time (not great ones in hindsight) and we had been together on and off since early high school.

We split up just over 5 months ago, I instigated it, and while it wasn’t easy it was mostly amicable and there is hardly any bad blood. The breakup had been brewing for at least 3-4 months before that, so I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with it. Unfortunately, we can’t get divorced until we’ve been separated for a year due to provincial law.

So here’s the problem: I just met someone who I’m really interested in, we talked for a couple hours at a mutual friend’s party, and we’re going on a date this Friday. I’d like to be completely honest about my situation, but I’d also like to put my best foot forward because let's face it, this is really weird for people my age.

I’m thinking that I’ll mention that the marriage was short, ended well, and the divorce isn’t finalized for purely legal reasons. I’ll also mention that I’m done with the rebound relationship stage*. Maybe I’ll even mention that some good came of it - now I think more before making commitments.

So, MeFi - can you think of anything else I could say to make this less off-putting? Is this way too much information for a (sort of) second date? Is there a best time to mention this during the date, or should I risk saying it before/after the date? Any help or advice would be very much appreciated!

*Really, I am. The end of the marriage was obvious months before it happened, I've dated casually since, and even had some NSA fun that ultimately made me snap out of the "I'll date or sleep with anything!" mindset. "Give yourself more time"-type answers are respectfully declined.

How Do I Promote My YA Fantasy Novel?

musofire — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 08:33:51 -0800

I want to promote my Young Adult fantasy novel about Morgan le Fay on the web. The biggest audience should be young women and libraries; Wiccans, medieval re-enactors and King Arthur fans would dig it, too (I hope). How can I best promote the book myself? What sites and blogs should I contact? Are author's tours effective? What should I definitely put my efforts into and what's not worth my time? I've written a fantasy novel about the childhood of Morgan le Fay which is coming out next year. My publisher probably doesn't have huge resources for promoting the book, and I want to do my part.

I've thought of doing a virtual author's tour, contacting blogs and websites for (a) young adult readers (b) Wiccans (c) medieval fans (d) King Arthur fans. What are the blogs and websites I shouldn't miss?

Also, here in Canada, publishers can get grant money to send authors on real live book tours. If I hit four or five major cities, how can I get the maximum buzz out of being physically there? It's not worth traveling to Calgary to sell ten books, unless I can leverage that somehow into radio interviews or ... what?

I'll work up some sort of website about the book and about Morgan le Fay, of course. What sort of content might be the most interesting to readers?

What have I missed?

25 and TRYING to COOK

designbyme — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:48:54 -0800

I'm 25 and starting to cook - What? Where do I get it? Why? I'm 25 and me and my roommate are just starting to cook on our own. Our add water and microwave days of college are over. Plus we like to have friends over sometimes, and ordering a pizza makes for a lame dinner party.

Basically this just feels like something we should be doing, it's fun to try new things and in general, it saves money!

Some things I always liked growing up:

• Big Mac 'N Cheese fan
• Anything with Cool Whip...
• Mom makes this breaded chicken that got baked...
• Love salads, been trying to broaden my horizon in terms of dressing

I also always struggle with whether to buy the brand names or the store labels. Does it make a difference?!?! What do you guys buy and why?

Anyway.... I'd love to hear your ideas. I'd love some new easy recipes, but I'm really curious about the art of grocery shopping too. Discount store? Upscale store?

Thanks in advance!! If your ideas are really good, I'll have you all over for dinner. ;)

Getting married young. What say you?

Anonymous — Wed, 06 May 2009 10:29:48 -0800

I'm young (18 now) and am considering the possibility of marrying soon (summer 2010?). Both she and I work hard at our school and still have significant plans for our education afterwards. What advice would you give? I'm fairly well off financially (almost $20k in savings right now). She and I both have academic scholarships--I have a full ride (tuition + books + ~$10k stipend) to college, and she has tuition covered, so we're not running ourselves into debt while in college, especially after considering summer jobs/internships. I'll be graduating May 2012 with multiple degrees (Computer Engr+Math) and skills to go with them, and I'm not at all worried about finding a solid job at that point or continuing on with grad school. I'm hoping to be able to afford a down payment on a house shortly after the marriage, maybe a year or two later at most, to get us started off well.

A little more background for detail's sake, in case it helps:
1) As for how far this money goes, we're not dealing with SoCal cost of living here. Houses are $60-$120k around here, gas is $1.80, and cost of living overall is fairly light compared to other parts of the US.
2) She's 16 now and would be entering college in the fall after we marry. She'll be graduating a semester early (December 09) and then taking classes at a community college to finish out her senior year and get a head start on the college classes (physiology followed by med school).

What things would you advise us to consider? I'm looking more for practical (financial, logistical) advice than emotional ("have you considered _____ in your relationship?") advice, but I certainly don't want to rule out anything offered.

[Anon because a lot of friends/family aren't aware of this yet and my username is easily found by people who know me. I'd like to plan things a bit better before letting them know.]

Buy a house: Yes or No?

CPAGirl — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:14:17 -0800

Do I buy a house? I understand this may be an annoying question, but it's a big one, so I'm hoping to hear from people who've gone through this situation as well.

Situation: I'm early 20s, young professional (solid job), living in a great place I can see myself settling into, and certainly someplace I can see myself in for at least 5 years.

But I love to travel and definitely want to see some of the world, live in other cities, before I settle down.

With the tax credit for first-time homebuyers, this would be a great opportunity to build some equity. Costs would be about the same as renting an apartment and I have enough budget wiggle room to cover a minor catastrophe.

You never can tell what the future holds, so I'm not sure how long I'll stay or go for (if I just leave for a couple years, it can be rented or such (I have siblings in the area)), so I'm just not sure to pull the trigger or rent. Spending 40,000 renting for the next five years seems like a waste when 25% of the could be equity. I know it's risky to depend on real estate for future prosperity, so that's not even a given. I just don't want to miss out on a great opportunity.

Again, I know this question isn't exactly Mefi material, but any advice would be much appreciated.

Go west, young man!

gushn — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:43:21 -0800

What are adventures I can do at 25 which I won't be able to do when I'm older? I am 3 months from the quarter century mark, and am looking for the most exciting journeys and exotic travels that I should plan on doing sooner rather than later. Adventures requiring young legs, a keen spirit, and youthful recklessness, that sort of thing; not interested in museums or art exhibits, which I can do at any age.

Fairly regular guy, ambitious plans: I want to to take a whole bunch of trips (2 or 3 a year) for the next few years, figuring that my travel frequency will taper off once I have children. I'm lucky enough to have a fair bit of disposable income, but can only get away from work for 1-2 (3, max) weeks at a time. I have a girlfriend who would certainly want to be included, but trips I can do with 4-5 friends are cool as well. (And bonus points if I can capture the activity on video somehow)

Fun examples I've done recently include:
- skydiving in the cornfields of Illinois
- hiking the Inca Trail in Peru
- cliff diving in Jamaica

I'm currently based in New York City.

Arts and culture organizations by and about young people in Southern California?

colinmarshall — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 10:32:13 -0800

What are some arts/culture organizations (or individual artists) in Southern California that produce film, video art, radio, sound art, criticism, etc. that are run by or work with young people, exclusively or primarily? I'm working on a journalistic project meant to cover arts and culture produced by young people here in Southern California, and I'd like to cover artists and organizations that I haven't already heard of or are generally more obscure. If that sounds like a wide net, it is, but there are certain sorts of people and groups that I'd especially like to investigate. Broadly speaking, I mean those that produce this sort of stuff:

Film, narrative or experimental
Television and video art
Radio broadcasts and sound art
Ambient or otherwise avant-garde music
Film, book or music criticism (not in the academic sense)

Also, the less political, the better, but with young people I realize that's a tall order. (And by "young", I mean anywhere from teens to early 30s.) Geographically, the region of Southern California I'm looking at would be L.A. county up to Santa Barbara county and everywhere in between.

Books about strong, intelligent, interesting 20-something women?

wsquared — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 12:03:27 -0800

I read a lot of young adult lit with great female characters. But I'm not a teenager anymore and would like to find something analogous for 20-something women. So, where are the books about young, intelligent, humorous and/or interesting women? Novels, short stories, memoirs and essays welcome. More information about what I've already read inside. I've read all of Curtis Sittenfeld's books and LOVED them. Ditto with Melissa Bank and Megan McCafferty. Jennifer Weiner also writes women well, but they skew a bit older. I also loved Shopgirl by Steve Martin. The Secret History by Donna Tartt would fit the bill if it focused on Camilla instead of Richard.

While I enjoyed the Shopaholic series and Sophie Kinsella's other books, I'd prefer to stay away from this side of chick lit. Or anything involving babies.

YA authors I enjoy: Sarah Dessen, E. Lockhart, Cecil Castellucci, Sara Zarr, Maureen Johnson

I also like Dave Eggers, Michael Chabon, Jonathan Safran Foer and Nick Hornby, but they mostly write about guys.

Do young people look for different things in book covers?

willnot — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 11:02:10 -0800

Can you point me to any specifics about which book cover designs or designs in general appeal more to people aged 18 to 34? I have an author with a book she feels will appeal to that demographic, and she wants to optimize the book cover design to best attract that group's attention. Barring that, are there any best seller lists that are broken down by age, especially self-help/career types of books?

Younger teacher, older students.

913 — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 23:21:52 -0800

I'm going to be teaching a business class and I'll be at least 10 years younger than any of my students. Any tips? I'm confident in the material and have no problems with public speaking. My only concern is that the students might think I'm too young to be taken seriously.

I'm not looking to demand respect and I really look forward to hearing stories and specific case studies from the students (they're all professionals).

Is there anything I can do from the get-go to make things run as smooth as they can? Anecdotes are more than welcome.

Thanks!

21st Century Fiction

netbros — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:32:58 -0800

Who are the new exciting, young novelists of the 21st century? I suddenly find myself with a lot more time on my hands for reading. A couple months ago you gave me a good list of biographies. Now I'm looking for new writing talent that has appeared since the turn of the century. I like historical fiction and action/adventure, but generally just like a good read. Thanks, as always, for your assistance.

The cat's name might have been "Barney"

Lucinda — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 05:01:49 -0800

Help me find this book I read as a kid. I remember a fair amount of it, but I just can't get the right Google combination to find it. I believe the main character's name was Jesse. He lived in New York City. These are the two anecdotes I remember in particular:

There was a photoshoot that was happening in Jesse's house, for a dollhouse. It was supposed to be raining in the photo, but they couldn't get the rain machine to work, so Jesse's father suggested painting the windows with (mineral oil? something) to make it look like it was raining on film. The distinct line I remember is that Jesse was not supposed to say anything during the shoot, but when they asked if anyone had a paintbrush, he said "I've got one".

There was a girl (in his building? that he saw on the subway quite often?) named Veronica. She would always talk about how her cat was half-Persian, half-Siamese, half-whatever, and half-something-or-other. Eventually Jesse calls her on it, saying "if that's the case, then you have two cats!", and she gets all upset and embarrassed and all that.

So I've tried Googling all sorts of different combinations of the facts I remember and it seems like all I get are Veronica Mars sites.

Please help!

Age me up!

fantine — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 09:18:11 -0800

How can I increase the likelihood that people will not think I am a middle-schooler? Here is the deal: I am a young woman, 20 years old (turning 21 this year), currently in my junior year of college. I’ve found that people rarely believe that I am 20. Last year, in a doctor’s waiting room, a woman was shocked to hear that I was a sophomore in college – she thought I was in middle school. Last weekend, I was checking into a hotel with my parents (as they came to visit me) and the gentleman behind the counter tried to guess how old I was: “13? Or 10?”

I don’t dress like a 14-year old, but I don’t necessarily wear tailored black pants and button-down blouses with heels either. Though the style of clothes I wear varies, most of my outfits fall under the bohemian/artsy category. I don’t wear makeup very often; my hair is past shoulder length and wavy, with side-swept bangs, and I also wear glasses. Another issue is that I am shorter than average, at 5’2”.

While I could wear pencil skirts more often and try to wear makeup more frequently, I don’t want to look like I’m trying to look older per se. Is there something I could change in my comportment that could send a “I am not fourteen” message?

I haven’t linked to any pictures of myself, but I will be happy to find links if that would be helpful.

Anyone know the title of this book?

pjlalala — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:01:34 -0800

Back when I was in Elementary school around 1969 our teacher read a book aloud to the class that I remember as being kind of fantasy and kind of spooky. The plot was something about a sister and brother who were latch-key kids. I think the sister wore the house key around her neck on a green ribbon. Anyway, somehow they were "kidnapped" by an old person and and ended up on an island where the people never got older. I believe a closet was involved too THe way the people stayed young had something to do with the kids not being abled to leave. If someone knows the name of this book it would be great. Thanks.

Need book titles.....

haikuku — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:25:53 -0800

I am looking for Young Adult books to recommend about Womens History. I need titles that will appeal to the 15-16 year old range, fiction and non-fiction. Thanks!

How can I better relate to people of different ages?

acidic — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:58:20 -0800

How can I better appreciate people of different ages? Different generations? When I was in elementary school, students a year above or below were universally considered "The Other." They were impossibly cool, or lame, or stupid. Common experiences-- such as applying to college, and college itself-- made this phenomenon continue longer, albeit in lesser form. Understandable, right?

But I've found it unexpectedly difficult to get over these childhood practices and meet people of different ages with an open mind. Two examples:

1) "Mock the freshman" mentality toward people just a year or two younger: fun, and funny, for a short while, but ultimately unproductive.

2) "Glad I'm Not Old Like You" mentality towards people 10-30 years older, who have seemingly drastically different goals: settling down, having kids, enjoying lives of quiet suburban desperation...

So, in the first case, I'm missing out on some possible friends. In the second case, I'm not enjoying the company of possible coworkers, and I think my childish tendencies can be a bit exaggerated around older people.

Is this just something everyone grows out of? Or is there, you know, an herbal supplement I should buy or something?

How do young professionals successfully negotiate a starting salary?

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:12:25 -0800

Do young professionals stand a change when negotiating a starting salary after a three-month probationary period? I started my current job a little while ago and it is now time for my three-month review. At the time I accepted this job, I was told that the salary I would be receiving ($35k) is non-negotiable during the probationary period, and could be reviewed at the three month mark. Although I found this somewhat suspiciously, I felt that this job was the best fit for me and was excited to start.

I’m feeling a bit more realistic and familiar with how things work at the land planning and design firm I work for, however still not 100% comfortable or confident in my skills. I am trained as a landscape architect, and have spent the majority of my time doing graphic design, editing and formatting using InDesign.

However, friends of mine in the same profession are receiving an annual salary of almost $10,000 more. I get the same types of benefits they do, and two weeks holiday time. At this point, there has been no discussion about perks, bonuses, or any incentives. I don’t drive, so cars/mileage isn’t factored in.

During my interview, I specifically asked if there would be a considerable amount of overtime. They answered no, as long as you finish what you need to do. However, in one two-week pay period, I worked double the time I was supposed to, twelve days in a row, and spent the entire weekend at the office. I received one day off in lieu for this time.

It is a 9:00am-5:00pm job, however everybody knows you come in at 8:00 and you leave at 6:00pm at the very least. Nobody gets up from their desk at lunch time, and in the summer we are supposed to have half-day Fridays… but nobody ever takes their half days. The idea is that you come in to work earlier and stay later to take a half day off, but really… you just end up working more.

The office is severely understaffed and during the time that I’ve been here (3 months) I’ve attended three good-bye parties. Prior to my arrival, one of the partners quit and took two employees with him to a different firm. Am I wrong to see this as a red flag? This is a small firm, with about ten people.

I believe that I’m worth more than my current salary, and assume that they would expect some negotiation during my hour-long review tomorrow. However, if I ask for an increase, I don’t want to slave away and feel obligated to stay late at night and come in on weekends. They’re severely short-staffed and I believe that some of the project managers lack proper organization skills – but how does a Junior Designer bring this up?

My ideal salary would be $41,500 – given my education and overseas work experience. I’m trying to gauge what other young professionals make in Toronto, but everybody is pretty tight-lipped. I highly doubt they will give me this. I do enjoy my work, and money isn’t everything, but I’d like it to be fair.

How do I politely ask for at least what I feel I’m worth? How can a young professional argue that they’re worth it, they’re willing to work hard but not sell their soul?

I have jowls.

greta simone — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 13:24:34 -0800

StupidVanityFilter: What can I do to prevent jowls? I'm a 25 year old female and I've started getting jowls! You know, where your cheeks start sinking below your jaw line? Ok, short of exercising all the fat off of my body, what, at this point, can I do to slow the jowly aging process? Any creams, vitamin supplements, special weird facial exercises, etc? It should be noted that my mother is jowly and I'm sure it will happen eventually that I will age into a turkey, but what can I do now to improve this situation?

I am not overweight, and I eat pretty well, if anyone was wondering.
I also have a good skin regimen (cleansing, moisturizing w/ sunscreen, etc) and I eat all kinds of anti-oxidants, and take a multi-vitamin, as well as B vitamin supplements. I also sporadically use collagen-enhancing/replenishing products, which I realize would probably be the best thing to do (I guess?). Do these really work? Or should I just learn accept my premature aging?

How to entertain a lonely Jew on Xmas?

PostIronyIsNotaMyth — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 01:45:01 -0800

Young, alone and Jewish on Xmas in LA. How do I entertain myself? So I'll be alone on Xmas this year, not a big deal though being Jewish and all. That being said, I was wondering if anyone knew of anything I could do alone on Xmas day in Los Angeles?

"The young die young that they may avoid corruption. The old live long that they may repent."

Pater Aletheias — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 09:42:16 -0800

Can anyone identity the source of this saying? "The young die young that they may avoid corruption. The old live long that they may repent." That may not be the exact wording. Do you know of a line like it? That's all the information I have. TIA

What are some classic novels penned when their authors were unusually young?

scarylarry — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 00:56:34 -0800

Help me think of great novels that were written when their authors were unusually young. I'm trying to make a list of great novels that were written when when their authors were quite young--let's set the author's 27th birthday as an arbitrary cut-off date. This is a slippery area, but I'm also hoping to make a distinction between merely 'promising' novels (i.e., books that offer glimmering hints of what the writer will produce later, but aren't fully-formed works in and of themselves) and 'great' novels (books that can be recognized as such outside the context of a given author's oeuvre). Pynchon's _V_ is an example of the kind of book I'm looking for.

Also, it's not important to me that the book be the *best* work of a writer's life, just that it's vital and important as a stand-alone work (Gravity's Rainbow is better than V, IMHO, but V still applies). Thanks a lot!

How can I get my doctor to take me seriously about my libido problems?

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 09:26:36 -0800

How can I get my doctor to take me seriously about my libido problems? I'm 21, a woman, and engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I have always been overweight (yet confident, healthy and body positive!) and I have been using oral contraceptives for three years. I have not made any drastic changes to warrant my problem.

About a year ago, my sex drive just... disappeared. I went from thinking and breathing sex most of the day, masturbating often and initiating most sexual encounters to barely wanting to undress, play or do anything sexual whatsoever. The change wasn't really noticeable until I realized that my partner and I weren't having sex very often and that I consistently had to turn him down for one reason or another. We are definitely attracted to each other and have no relationship problems that would cause sexual dysfunction. This, to me, feels more than just the "honeymoon phase" ending. He and I have wonderful communication and openness--it is not a relationship problem. I have always thought that if both parties are comfortable with the rate of sexual activity, even if it's low, then there's no problem---but I'm not comfortable with it! I want more sex and I want my sex drive back!

It feels like a physical thing, so I want to see my doctor about it. I've talked to my NP, who shot me down completely: I'm not horny because I'm fat ("by the way, consider Weight Watchers"), and besides, I shouldn't worry about it because I'm so young; since I depend on the state to fulfill my meager health needs, I can usually only see pissy nurses who aren't getting paid enough and have some kind of vendetta against sexually-active young women. Back when I was on my parent's insurance, I mentioned it to my family doctor, who laughed and said that I don't need to worry about it because I am not married (!).

Perhaps it's just been a string of bad experiences that makes me so unconfident with talking to doctors about my sexual problems, but I want to know how to get a doctor to take me seriously. I wish I could say, "Humor me, doc. Give me a barrage of hormonal tests, thyroid tests, what have you until everything comes out fine--maybe then I'll be satisfied with 'lose weight, hurf durf butter eater'." This is a pretty ...conservative region, so it's not easy to find a sex-positive doctor. It seems my age, my size and my gender have just been a joke and frankly, I'm sick of it. What do I do? What are the magic words?

anonymous because the last thing i need is my employer googling my screenname and reading about my sex life

Where is MY little black dress?

meindee — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:42:17 -0800

Too big for the regular stores, too small for the big girl stores... Please help me find a size 18 non-froofy "semi-formal" dress. It's prom time, but I'm not looking for a prom dress. I'm not finding anything that screams 30-something professional at either Layne Bryant or Avenue. I want to spend less than $100, given I'll probably only wear this dress once. Do any other curvy women have good leads on sites to buy a long-ish semi-formal dress in an 18?

I don't need this for a few more weeks, so ordering online shouldn't be a problem.