In my day to day life, I often have to deal with people who, instead of asking questions, make assumptions aloud at you about what you're going to be doing despite the fact that these assumptions may not be accurate. A lot of the time these techniques are used along with someone pretending to be so hopelessly helpless that they could not possibly take care of their own workplace problems. Basically, it's a technique used by weasels. For example: "I know you're going to be very helpful during this process because..." or "I don't know x from z so it's a good thing you are here to handle that part" They will also make assumptions about what you would and would not do. "I know you wouldn't want x or z to happen because..." These things are usually in no way true. In fact, the weasel in question often knows they're not true, they're just testing boundaries. So my question is generally, how does one push back against these behaviors without being rude, jarring and literal? Especially if you're dealing with a weasel -- they're better at this than you. I tend to shut down in the presence of weaselry, giving them very little the work with, but this doesn't seem like the best solution.
I got a full-time job offer and will be giving my two weeks' notice to my current freelance gig. I want to give the people I've worked with a nice little gift before leaving. It's a big company so I can't take them all out to lunch/happy hour. Any ideas on what would be appropriate and not terribly expensive?
I'd appreciate your advice on dealing with what seems to me racist joking/bantering at work -- particularly when it's directed at me. This is my first white-collar job since moving to North America, and I think this kind of "joking around" is unacceptable but this office's culture seems to tolerate it. [more inside]
Went to birthday thing at a restaurant/bowling place for a work friend. There were 6 of us here. I consider the people there work-friends, in that I generally don't hang out with them outside of work. I was surprised that 3 of the friends gave gifts to the birthday girl, while the other guy bought her drinks and food. I tried to offer to pay for part of the entertainment cost but was begged off. So I felt like I didn't contribute much to the birthday celebration and possibly commited a faux pas in not getting a gift. I was under the impression that people at work who weren't that close don't give birthday gifts to each other. Did I commit a faux pas? Should I give a belated gift?
I'm officially a supervisor. My first-ever subordinate starts tomorrow. What are some of the best things that great bosses have done or said on your first day? Specifics inside. [more inside]
How can you tell when it's you or the job? [more inside]
This fall, when I was unemployed and job hunting, I discovered I was pregnant, kind of like this person: http://ask.metafilter.com/207069/Should-I-reveal-my-pregnancy-in-job-interviews. I did not mention this during interviews, but when I got an offer, I brought it up with the hiring manager as part of my negotiation. I was very pleased that it did not seem like a liability, and he promised I'd be made eligible for their paid maternity leave even though I would have only been there about six months. He also said he'd leave it up to me to tell my boss and team with at least 4 months advance notice. [more inside]
Starting to feel uncomfortable about work events which are allegedly optional but don't turn out to be. How to approach this with boss? [more inside]
How to enforce a drug free / alcohol free workplace policy when executives drink with clients during the workday? What does your company do? [more inside]
Theft problem at work creating lack of trust [more inside]
Despite my otherwise agreeable work environment, I have a boss who's increasingly scolding me for following standard procedures and doing my job as normal. [more inside]
When I first started my current job as a graduate researcher at a nominally Catholic university as an American in Belgium, my boss played a quick prank on me where he came into my office, plopped down a copy of the New Testament in Flemish, and told me I needed to study up to pass some kind of religious test. The way he did it, it was pretty funny and I’m looking for ways to prank him back. [more inside]
What are the rules for "optional" but not really optional work-related events for non-exempt employees? [more inside]
How to sort out my feelings and figure out next steps after a disturbing incident? [more inside]
Has anyone read a good self-help book about dealing with stressful jobs/workplaces? [more inside]
I've just been diagnosed with ADHD, and have started an initial stimulant-based management plan. I'm in my mid-forties, and work in a very traditional industry and come from a not-very-accepting Old World culture. How open do I need to be with colleagues and friends that I'm doing this? [more inside]
What's the best way to scrub my online presence for protection from a potential-future snoopy boss, etc? [more inside]
I work at a business of a type that gets rated on sites like yelp and google. My boss has always been concerned about the low ratings we get (which are honestly not that bad). I'm pretty sure the boss is taking it personally and I have trouble believing that the business could be losing money due to low ratings. Yesterday, at the boss's orders, all the lower-downs in the clinic, including me, were handed instructions to post positive reviews on some specific sites, pretending to be clients. We were each assigned a day to do it and told which sites "really needed" a positive review and which ones didn't matter so much. I think this is pretty pathetic, also against these sites' policies obviously, and I absolutely don't want to do it. What can I say to the boss or to my manager that will get me out of this assignment?
How do you deal with people who make insensitive, hurtful comments about your disability at school / in the workplace?
How do you deal with people who make insensitive, hurtful comments about your disability at school / in the workplace? [more inside]
My employer seems to be pushing me toward filing an EEOC complaint or resigning my job. What do I do? [more inside]
I'm fairly new at my job (about six weeks in), and I have a co-worker who coughs all day long at ~30-second intervals. All. Day. Long. [more inside]
How do indicate your disapproval with a superior's action without lecturing? [more inside]
My employer wants all employees to provide lab results in order to receive a deduction in insurance premiums. OK, or a little too Big Brother-ish? [more inside]
I am in a negative, dysfunctional office environment with very little supervisory support for all parties involved. I have been seeking other employment but that's besides the point of this post, I would like any advice on my immediate options in this situation and how to make it any more tolerable? [more inside]
I started a new job in a completely new place and I want to be the best colleague I can be. What are some tips or commonsense things for me to remember and internalize about appropriate workplace behavior? [more inside]
I've unintentionally become the person that a coworker feels comfortable venting to, and in this case, I don't like it. How do I make it stop without causing too much trouble? [Hoo boy, this ended up long!] [more inside]
While faxing at the front desk at my job, a few co-workers were sitting around chatting. An African American co-worker was telling few Hispanic co-workers a story about how her and her friends were overlooked while shopping at Coach, "because the clerk was only paying attention to the (mouths the word "white" while my back was turned) girls. She goes on the explain that they left the store and called to complain that they were ignored because of their race. I was the only white person there (and not part of the conversation) and I would never have been telling a story if the reverse was true, so was this racism in the workplace? I surely felt uncomfortable. What can/should I do?
My employer is NOT green, Help! [more inside]
A married coworker made a pass at me - help me stop feeling like I need to peel all my skin off. [more inside]
My sister received a dream job offer but for one thing - the man who will be her direct supervisor was definitely looking at her boobs both times she went into the office for the interviews. [more inside]
How can I encourage my brother to leave his extremely toxic workplace? [more inside]
Better workplace - all around suggestions [more inside]
Former intern has become mentally ill and sends numerous disturbing (but not threatening) emails. Not sure how to proceed. [more inside]
My new boss is totally different from my old boss. Help me persuade my colleagues not to hate him. [more inside]
I have started a new job at a established internet startup. Decorating your cube is a big deal around here. I need ideas for something cool. As I am a project manager, I would like to have something somewhat professional but also creative / aesthetic pleasing. Any ideas for cube flair? Any cool cubes you have seen that aren't over the top? Help me have the coolest cube ever!!!
What is the URL of that tumblr with pictures of graphic designers working while their bosses look over their shoulders?
How can I report what I think are unsafe work conditions at a construction site near my house? Who should I be talking to, the developer? OSHA? [more inside]
How should I handle this tricky situation at work? My boss has taken me under her wing to guide me on the path of success. I feel she did this because I was open to her assistance. We have now developed a friendly "quid pro quo" type of agreement. She assists me by sharing her expertise on certain work-related items and vice-versa. I will in turn share with my colleagues when I feel capable of doing so. Some of my closest colleagues are feeling insecure about my friendly and close relationship with our boss. It seems like they feel threatened by it...like they think I am privy to all this "important information" that I won't share with them. [more inside]
How do you deal with verbal abuse in your workplace? [more inside]
ADA, reasonable accommodation in the workplace, and supervisor resigning: I have questions. (This is in California) [more inside]
I get data review and entry work done extremely fast with no discernible lack of quality. But, I also have a persistent feeling I'm doing things wrong or missing important details. How to fix this? [more inside]
My wife finds herself quite unexpectedly facing termination from her job and needs legal/employment advice quickly. Some details after the link. [more inside]
I need a tactful but clear way to correct stereotype-based assumptions about my abilities. [more inside]
I want to spice up a couple of the panels of my work cubicle, tastefully. I have something like this in mind but I'm looking at different fabrics online and realizing I have no idea what type of fabric to go with (there's printed cotton, faux silk, linen, wovens) or even what category (sold for quilting, apparel, interior decorating purposes etc.). Does anyone know what I should go with? I'm happy to go to a physical store but I want to make sure I know what I'm even looking for in terms of look and feel. I don't necessarily need/want advice about pattern, just type of fabric. Thanks!
How to deal with my unconscious anxiety response to older, male supervisors? [more inside]
How do I get a job as a corporate drone? [more inside]
Workplace filter: I feel uncomfortable doing something.. give me a clue as to what to do? Details inside [more inside]
Am I going to pass this damn drug test? [more inside]
I have a colleague who is a lovely person. We get on quite well and have a fairly productive professional relationship. This person is an evangelical Christian, and has broached the topic of his god and his belief to me on a few occasions. I am always polite, telling him that I do not have religious beliefs. I have not invited the discussion, and I would have thought my attitude would have been sufficient to ensure that he left the topic alone. I returned from holidays to discover that he has bought me three ebooks for my kindle – Lee Strobel’s The Case for Christ and Case for a Creator – and some other book about god. [more inside]
Please help me wrest an amazing company from the clutches of one overgrown frat boy. [more inside]