I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me.
It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks
on Jan 23, 2013 -
38 answers
I have two romantic interests in my life: one who adores me and is giving herself to me wholeheartedly, and one who seems to be a better match but lives 850 miles away and is just getting out of a relationship. What should I do?
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posted by sockpuppetryarts
on Oct 14, 2012 -
34 answers
I'm a woman in her mid-twenties who is coming to realize that she might like other women in the romantic sense. I'm in NYC. How/where can I meet and date other women and get to know NYC's queer scene?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 29, 2012 -
14 answers
I'm not fully attracted to the girl I am dating, but I love her personality and we get along great, what do I do?
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posted by curious-mind
on Jun 24, 2012 -
65 answers
It's all in my head, I think. Questions about signals I thought were being sent by a woman I have strong feelings for. (..a little long)
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posted by Guyatoffice
on Mar 21, 2012 -
23 answers
I am a caucasian male, who has always been very attracted to asian girls. Specifically Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Chinese. I am a member of the regular dating sites okcupid, eharmony and chemistry, but I am not having a lot of luck finding my true love. Any tips?
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posted by digividal
on Feb 26, 2012 -
32 answers
I need help with my dating life, I'm a single straight male, 25y/o, working 60 hour weeks, with limited options.
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posted by curious-mind
on Feb 4, 2012 -
54 answers
I'm in College, thus I am poor. I go to Colorado State University in Fort Collins, Colorado. Please help me come up with some fun dates.
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posted by snow_mac
on Aug 12, 2011 -
13 answers
I'm a mid-thirties man, committed relationship, wonderful kids, good job, great life, but I can not stop chasing attractive women. And it is wreaking havoc. How can I stop this, and why don't I want to?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 25, 2011 -
69 answers
Stuck in an impossible dating dilemma: overhaul my entire self, or never have a relationship with a man?
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posted by tamagogirl
on Dec 7, 2010 -
28 answers
What's a good place to meet women around Phoenix, AZ? Aside from, of course, the obvious clubs and bars that everyone always thinks of first...
posted by ssnickerer
on Oct 3, 2010 -
7 answers
I am a newly single 40 year-old woman who’d like to be in a stable relationship and to start a family. I’m afraid that the man I’m looking for does not exist.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 24, 2010 -
35 answers
Which cardinal rule of dating am I breaking? If I don't know what I'm doing wrong, how can I stop doing it? (Perhaps mildly NSFW).
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posted by motsque
on Aug 17, 2010 -
59 answers
Mind-reading Filter: What does this mean - "Well, I'm totally booked up this week... I don't know what my schedule is next week."
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posted by XMLicious
on Aug 10, 2010 -
21 answers
Did she just take the easy way out or am I just that guy? About 8 months ago I started talking to a girl I have known for many years. She is 7 years younger than me and I never noticed her until boom she magically grew up. I always thought she was a loser ( hung around with the wrong crowd made bad choices). We began talking every so often then it turned into a daily ritual txt, fb, and phone call situation once she got rid of her BF. I slowly began to develop feelings and we started hangin out when....
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posted by SleeveHearted
on Jul 2, 2010 -
36 answers
Should I date someone I'm not attracted to if the other option is never dating?
I'm a girl. I went on a date with a boy I met on the internet, and it was pathetic. We talked about my mother, his mother, and lesbian movies I've seen. (Was that a bad subject for a first date? I'm inexperienced.) He was using open body language and I was using closed. I didn't realise this at the time. He was totally uninitiative and way too nice and I found that unappealing.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 6, 2010 -
32 answers
I'm a queer girl who would like to ask another queer girl out on a date. I have never done this before. How do I do this without being stupid?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 23, 2010 -
12 answers
An attractive female handed me her business card. It has her mobile number on it. Whats the best way to ask her on a date (Best = highest % of success, lowest possible creepy factor)?
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posted by DetonatedManiac
on Apr 14, 2010 -
38 answers
I'm a twenty year old gay woman. For 2010, I want to learn how to flirt with other women.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 24, 2009 -
15 answers
Previously dated men, now wants to date women. Problem: I can't tell when women are interested in me or if they just want to be friends.
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posted by Eleutherios
on Oct 13, 2009 -
17 answers
Whats a good solution to keep the door open to two first-date-level women, if the three of us run into each other, at this weekends festival?
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posted by talljamal
on Sep 2, 2009 -
12 answers
How accurate are the media portrayals of young people engaging in risky sexual behaviors?
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posted by reenum
on Jul 8, 2009 -
54 answers
So the first wedding of my mid-20's is coming up and it seems as though I'm able to bring a date. Should I definitely pursue a date? I have someone in mind but I'm afraid I have no idea how fun this wedding will even be. How should I go about this? This is new territory for me.
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posted by decrescendo
on Apr 12, 2009 -
15 answers
How can I become more confident interacting with women specifically as well as in social situations generally.
NOT looking for gimmicks, PUA or "get laid" systems, but genuine self improvement techniques.
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posted by DetonatedManiac
on Jan 1, 2009 -
31 answers
Okay. There is a girl I like her birthday is @ the end of this month. She's an amazing person. We went out once while she was home last summer (she was home for like a month), she's coming back in christmas but her birthday is in like 2 weeks. (I'm 19 she's 21). I'm pretty sure she's interested in me, but not ceretain. How do I reinforce (romantically) in my birthday card to her that I'm interested in her but not in a creepy or stalkerish way?
posted by BoldStepDesign
on Nov 10, 2008 -
17 answers
How can I be more relaxed, and less anxious (read: totally flipping out) about dating people I like?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 1, 2008 -
8 answers
So there's this girl. She is brilliant and wryly funny and beautiful and we are grad students together in a program that will shortly be ending. Explain to me in the simplest possible terms - as though I were an extraterrestrial anthropologist with an academic interest in, but little direct experience with, human interaction - how I can show her that I'm interested in being more than friends...
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 12, 2008 -
20 answers
I keep attracting girls who are incompatible with me. How can I get women who I actually have a future with?
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posted by stedman15
on Feb 27, 2008 -
17 answers
My girlfriend and I have religious and cultural differences. How can our relationship work?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 21, 2008 -
47 answers
What books should I read if I want to impress women? (NOTE: I am NOT looking for books on 'how to pick up chicks')
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posted by Elmo Oxygen
on Jun 27, 2007 -
79 answers
Male introverts, homebodies, and my nerdy brethren, how did you meet your female friends? Your female significant others? How can I?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 11, 2006 -
49 answers
I'm a man in his thirties who has gone on very few dates in his life, and I'm having trouble getting a good read on the behavior of a woman who I've been interacting with.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 2, 2006 -
70 answers
