Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with woman

I'd like to explode, but can't.

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 11:28:28 -0800

I'm a man and I can't orgasm. What can I do to remedy this? I am a late 20's male who recently began having sex, and I am having a distressing problem. Namely, I can't achieve orgasm.

The first time my partner and I did it, I orgasmed, but since then, nothing.

I masturbated a lot through the years and have the feeling that this lies at the core of my problem. A vagina doesn't grip my penis as tightly as my hand does. I also masturbated without lotion or lube. Like a good boy, I've also been using condoms. As a result, the friction needed to make achieve orgasm isn't there.

Is there anything I can do to remedy this problem? Any techniques or toys that might get my penis more accustomed to the slippery looseness of a vagina? My partner assures me that her vagina is pretty tight.

If you need more details or want to e-mail me privately, please e-mail me at chronicmast at gmail dot com.

Thanks!

We're big and getting busy. How can we get busier?

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 20:12:40 -0800

Sex positions for overweight people? NSFW details inside A friend and I recently began having sex, but have run into a problem. I'm a man, BTW.

I'm a bit overweight (6 feet, 225). She is obese (5'7', 200).

I tried missionary, but my penis had problems staying inside her, since I couldn't get it all the way in. After a bit of trying, I was able to climax.

I'm wondering what sorts of positions people like us can use for maximum pleasure.

Thanks!

What will make me happy with my wife to be?

reenum — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 20:18:36 -0800

ArrangedMarriage Filter: I'm from a culture that encourages arranged marriage and have been thinking about asking my parents to start looking. I have a question for all the married MeFites and the ones who are or have been in LTR's: If you were going to get married, what criteria would you consider? I think I need to make a list of things that are important, but my lists keep boiling down to physical attributes or general mental attributes (e.g. has to have sense of humor).

I guess what I'm asking is: What should a person looking to get married consider to ensure the relationship is happy and healthy? What sorts of considerations does one have to think about when thinking about getting married?

Thanks!

P.S. I know that I should keep looking for someone on my own, but it doesn't hurt to explore all avenues.

P.P.S. I am male, if that makes a difference.

Should I take this relationship to another level?

Anonymous — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:52:44 -0800

My friend is willing to become a friend with benefits. Should I do it? I'm male. A friend of mine who I've known for the last 10 years recently told me that she has the hots for me. At the time, I told her that I was flattered, but not interested in her romantically.

Since then, I've been thinking about whether or not a friends with benefit arrangement would work. She always complains about needing sex and I am a virgin. It seems like it might work. When I broached the subject the other day, she seemed receptive. She's done the FWB thing before, and has sex with her son's dad whenever he's in town.

There are a few complicating factors:
1. She has a 4 year old son.
2. I'm really not interested in being romantically involved with her.
3. I worry that this will change our relationship for the worse.

Oh MeFites, help me decide whether I should go through with this. I'm so conflicted.

Who's the woman speaking on NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta"?

redteam — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 19:50:00 -0800

Who is the woman sampled speaking on NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta"? She says "hopin' you sophisticated motherfuckers here what I have to say", "he'll fuck up you and yours - and anything that gets in his way", and "he'll just call you a lowlife motherfucker and talk about your funky ways." I've checked http://www.the-breaks.com/ and the samples section on "Straight Outta Compton's" Wikipedia page.

I remember at Lollapalooza '93 in Los Angeles, the sound guys played the source of those samples in between bands. It was like a series of speeches by a woman. I'd really like to hear it in its entirety but I've never been able to find it.

How can I stop thinking about the nasty?

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 11:20:46 -0800

I'm obsessed with sex. I think about it constantly. How can I make it stop? I'm 29 and still a technical virgin. I want to have sex, but can't seem to find a partner. I have had two past girlfriends, both of whom wanted to wait until marriage to have sex.

I find myself obsessed about sex. I think about it all the time. I watch porn when I get home from work. I'll stare at women's breasts and cleavage while I walk around. I hate that I do it. I've often thought about flying to Vegas and hiring a hooker, but can't bring myself to do it. I already masturbate daily, and two or three times each day on the weekend. It isn't enough.

Have any of you had success in stopping such pervasive thoughts? I'd like to stop thinking about sex, because I likely won't be getting any for a while

How can I be OK with never being intimate with another?

Anonymous — Sat, 17 May 2008 16:26:42 -0800

I'm 29 and haven't had sex. How can I reconcile with the fact that it might not ever happen for me? I'm 29 and I've never had sex.

This fact has been weighing on me lately. I feel like everyone around me is having sex and is able to find people to be intimate with except for myself.

So far, I've had two girlfriends. Both were somewhat religious, and did not believe in sex before marriage. I cared about them, and so I respected their wishes. Still, I always wondered what it would be like.

I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that perhaps I'm not meant to ever have sex with another.

So I ask you, has sex been worth it to those who have had it? If you're still a virgin, how are you able to cope with these feelings? Any help would be appreciated.

Throwaway e-mail is frustratedvirgin@gmail.com if you don't want to post an answer here or want to ask me further questions.

Run away son!

DieHipsterDie — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 21:10:04 -0800

Looking for infamous personal add. Anyone recall a personal add placed several years ago by a VERY particular, picky, religious and possibly crazy woman? She had pages or rules and required reading for anyone interested in making contact with her and very specific rules if contact was actual made.

All the lovely ladies who haven't gone to porn

reenum — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 09:34:43 -0800

Looking for sites with non-nude pictures of beautiful women I have long admired female beauty. So, I decided to try and find some non-nude photoblogs or sites with pictures of everyday beautiful women.

Unfortunately, porn has overtaken this realm and I can't seem to find too many good sites with pictures of non-celeb and non-porn beautiful women.

I've tried Flickr, but I'm looking for a site that might aggregate the content from sites such as Flickr, Webshots, etc. or has people submit pictures of beautiful women. If they're wearing skimpy clothes, that is fine. But, the pictures need to be of women who are fully attired. So, topless shots are out.

I know beauty is subjective, so please give me links to sites of women you think are beautiful. I can take it from there.

Thanks, MeFi!

Hey Mrs. Robinson!

gmodelo — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:12:39 -0800

I'm considering marrying a woman who just turned 37 and I'm 28, which actually puts us at 8 years and some months apart in age. I would like to know if anyone has experience in a marriage that's older woman/younger man type. I've always kind of been attracted to women a bit older than me for some reason, but when considering the biological implications of fertility and youthfulness, I'm somewhat stuck.

Both of us are of compatible maturity level, as well as share many of the same values, beliefs, hobbies, and interests, and both are autonomously economically viable (we make our own money and don't need the other to support us). The sex life is excellent. But any thoughts, caveats on marrying a woman who's going into her forties? I know Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are doing well, and this type of arrangement isn't unheard-of nowadays.

Neither of us want to have kids at the moment, and based on what she says, she could probably live a life without ever having children. I may want them in the future, but not now, and I worry a bit about fertility issues associated with women over 40 (not that it's a bad thing or impossible, my mother was 40 when she had me). Thanks in advance for your input.

Is it too soon to date again?

stedman15 — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:00:41 -0800

I'm on the cusp of dating someone soon after a breakup. Is it too soon? I'm 29 and male, living in the Midwest.

Back in early February, I broke up with my girlfriend of 10 months. A gulf had been building between us since November. We were in a long distance relationship and my ex had began making a big issue out of us being from different faiths. For the two weeks before we broke up, I was in a lot of pain. She wouldn't talk to me at all, and the breakup was a relief of sorts.

About a week and a half after my breakup, I began talking to another girl. We have been friends since 2003. She went through a divorce last year. She listened about my breakup and offered her own insights.

Then, about a week later, she said that she had always had feelings for me. I also had feelings for her in the past, but due to life circumstances, I did not think it would work.

My "more than friend" lives in Houston, so it's another long distance thing. This time it might work, though. We are both of the same religion, we can talk for hours, and I can't stop thinking about her.

My question is whether it is too soon. I think this relationship has potential, and I don't want it to be a rebound. I hardly think about my ex. I want to talk to this girl all the time, and am already planning a trip down to Houston in late April to see her.

Am I moving too fast?

Someone's in the Kitchen With...

ryecatcher — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 12:07:30 -0800

Wasting My Question But I Can't Help It: Does anyone remember a small flash movie (as in twenty seconds and a couple frames) of a high angled shot of a kitchen and then... ...a woman, dressed in white, walking through the shot looking up at the camera? It was sent around in e-mail for awhile.

The motion wasn't fluid. Sort of like a security camera feed (though this, pretty sure, was shot in color).

The camera was a fixed angle, like it was perched on the refrigerator, looking down into the room.

Freaked me out when I first saw it back in, say, the late 90s. Which is why I remember it, I guess. It'd be cool to watch it again and see if it holds up.

I've tried searching any combination of 'kitchen, woman, blah blah' etc. and haven't found anything.

Which is why I'm wasting my question.

Thanks!

ps - If anyone knows the story behind it, that'd be cool to know too.

Sing to me, Baby

goalyeehah — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:37:03 -0800

What songs are out there about a woman getting good, life changing lovin' from a a man. Working on my I-Mac the other day, I took the time to listen to the lyrics of Dusty Springfield's "Son of a Preacher Man" I like to hear some more tunes about women getting some good lovin' bordering on orgasmic. Donna Summer's "Love to Love You, Baby" is an obvious choice. Dinah Washington's "Destination Moon" is a little more obscure yet delightfully double entendre'd. What other tunes are out there?

I'm not religious. Why is it that all the girls I meet are?

stedman15 — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 08:03:58 -0800

I keep attracting girls who are incompatible with me. How can I get women who I actually have a future with? I'm 29, male, and just got out of a 10 month relationship earlier this month. The girl I broke up with left me because we couldn't get over our religious divide. She was hardcore Catholic and I am culturally Muslim. I don't have a problem with religion, but don't practice.

In the past couple of weeks, I've been talking to a girl who I've been friends with since 2003. She has told me that she has liked me since we first began talking. We have a good rapport, but I fear that this relationship is doomed because of the religious divide. I was talking to this new girl on the phone, and she said she wants a religious guy or someone who is leaning towards becoming more religious. I don't think I fit either criteria.

In my relationships, I try to respect the woman's wishes. I don't pressure a woman to have sex with me. I treat my girlfriends well. I don't play mind games. Yet, I cannot find a girl who I can have a lasting relationship with. All the girls who are into me are religious, and want someone similar in the long term

I'm not sure how I can go out and get a girl who is non-practicing as far as religion goes.

Or was it just a dude with long hair?

funkiwan — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 09:15:55 -0800

Did I see a woman playing on a men's basketball team on TV last night (2/15/08) around 8:30 pm ET? I think it was college ball though I could be mistaken, and I think the team was New Orleans. The sound was off and I know nothing about sports. The player was caucasian with shoulder-length brown hair and not particularly tall. I tried to find mention of any woman player on the men's team on the UNO website but no luck so far. This has been bugging me all morning and now my girlfriend thinks I'm cuckoo.

Hiking trails in Phoenix/Scottsdale?

greenchile — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:14:31 -0800

My wife will be in Phoenix/Scottsdale for a few days for work. She'd like to do some hiking. Are there any hiking trails (easy to moderate, 1-3 miles) that are picturesque, peaceful and safe for a woman hiking alone?

Help me find a suitably "butch" gift for my new girlfriend.

Death by Ugabooga — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 18:57:08 -0800

I've been dating a really wonderful woman and it seems we have fallen very much in love with each other. She doesn't wear makeup, or jewelry aside from two small, non-dangly earrings in each ear, and isn't particularly "girly" in any other respect, so I'm kind of at a loss as to what to get her for Valentine's Day. I'd like it to be something she can wear all the time, and since it's our first together, I'd like to make it something memorable, but any kind of flashy jewelry would probably be met with a luke-warm reception. I've been thinking about some kind of "butch" friendship bracelet, or something like that, but the ones I've found are generally pretty shoddy and cheaply made. She's been talking about wanting some color on her body - either painting her toenails or getting a tattoo - so something colorful without being super-feminine might be nice. Any suggestions? (BTW: She's in her 30's.) Thanks.

Strong real females in movies

sparrows — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 07:20:50 -0800

Pamela Landy, in the 2nd and 3rd Bourne movies, is an uncomplicatedly powerful female character and I'm looking for other fiction movies with similar characters. (Inside I explain a little more what I'm looking for.) I don't have any spoilers inside for the Bourne movies, and please avoid spoilers for any movies you recommend, thanks! I know there are MANY different kinds of strong female characters, but just for this question here's some of what makes Landy such a straightforward character to me:

- She's not a fantasy or bioengineered character (like Trinity or River Tam);
- The central focus of the movie isn't her unusualness as a female (as in GI Jane, etc.);
- We see no indication that she gets her power because of backstabbing or evilness.

Landy happens to be high-ranking on paper but I'm definitely also interested in everyday people who have similar qualities (like Mace in Strange Days).

Please, no spoilers for any movies in this thread!
I know it could be hard to discuss a character without mentioning, for example, whether or not she survives the movie, but that's what I'm asking. Thanks!

Fashion resources for South Asians

divabat — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 08:22:21 -0800

What good fashion/style/beauty resources are out there for South Asian (Indian/Bangladeshi/Pakistani) women that aren't all about saris and lenghas? Thanks to the response to this question, I have been investigation fashion and style a lot more that usual, and am developing my personal tastes further. (I'm keeping a log of what I like; link's in profile.)

One thing that's struck me, though, is that none of the models are South Asian - none of them look like me. They're all mostly white and skinny (and often blonde). When they bring "people of colour" in there are no South Asians, and plus size is way too big for me (I'm a 12-14 with a typical South Asian belly). So it's hard for me to tell if anything I've seen would actually look good on me because there's no one to compare it to.

My tastes run towards the gothic (Velvet Garden is AWESOME), geeky (injoke tees), businessy (I LOVE suits), and ethnic (not just South Asian). I've been thinking of trying out mod, after seeing a photo of Edie Sedgwick, but she's the complete opposite of me bodywise and I have a feeling the typical mod dresses are going to make me look pregnant.

It's harder to find makeup because I have no idea what colours would suit me. I hardly wear makeup but when I do (for very special occasions) I like to be dramatic, particularly with my eyes. However, all the talk about warm/cool/yellow/blue skin tones confuse me. Some websites have pictures or notes of people whose skin I'm supposed to match, but none of them are ever South Asian! I can't even tell for myself because my skin tone can change - right now it's on the fair side because I'm hardly outdoors, but my face can get quite dark, especially when standing next to fairer people.

Searching for South Asian fashion resources is difficult, because I keep getting stuff about saris and lenghas and salwhar khameez. They're nice, but that's not all I want to wear!

Are there any sites or places that tackle South Asian people but have a more Western idea of style?

Unknown painting of woman with water jug

Pater Aletheias — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 01:22:02 -0800

Can anyone identify this painting of a woman holding a water jug on her shoulder? It looks like a detail of a larger painting. I can't remember where I originally ran across it, but I'd like to see if I can find a print of it somewhere. Does it look familiar?

Looking for a new gynecologist in Denver

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 09:30:51 -0800

I need to find a new gynecologist in Denver I recently moved back to Denver after four years at an out of state college.

The gynecologist I have right now is terrible. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I wasn't sexually active and tried to get me to take birth control. She also conducted the exam as if I were sexually active.

She's trying to get me to take a vaccine that is common for people my age to take. Only problem with that is that I have rheumatoid arthritis and am now a lot of immuno-suppressors right now.

It's been hard to find a new gynecologist. It seems like most won't take you on as a patient unless you are pregnant.

Any help would be appreciated. If you need to contact me for followup, please send all messages to askmefi at yahoo dot com. Thanks everyone!

My name is John, and I am trying not to be a workaholic.

parmanparman — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 16:36:38 -0800

Is there a support group for a charming, literate, young, kissable workaholic media professional who is trying to be less of a flake in his personal life? Seven weeks ago I moved back to the San Francisco Bay Area. At a coffee shop the first week of September, I met a really awesome woman* but around the same time my professional life really took off with a vast amount of management work. I turned into a flake with all the work I had to do, and that ended the relationship. Since, I have really worked hard to make sure all of the work is not on my back. I hired two new employees, have (nearly) kept to my commitment of being smoke-free, and am working out at the gym on a regular basis. Now that I have a semblance of free time, I am trying to put an end to my free-time flakiness so that I don't make the same mistake with a wonderful woman (and friends) again. I should note that at this point, I am really more interested in making friends and dating (and keeping those commitments) rather than jumping into an LTR. Advice, suggestions, encouragement, "cool beans" are asked for and gratefully received.

*And what a kisser.

Excuse me sir, are you happy to see me?

Anonymous — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 12:08:32 -0800

Why is it easier for me to achieve sexual arousal now rather than 10 years ago? This is something I've noticed over the last couple of years. I'm really not sure if this is a phenomenon that has been researched or not.

I'm currently 29. About 10 years ago, I remember that I would only be sexually aroused by the sight of nude or near nude women. Women wearing provocative clothing were nice to look at, but did nothing for me.

Now, I find myself aroused if a woman is showing even a hint of cleavage or wearing a tight fitting top. I find that I have sexual fantasies much more often about my girlfriend and other women than I did as a 19 year old.

According to my intuition, isn't this the opposite of how it should be? I thought that sexual arousal was easier to achieve at a younger age, and that when you got older, it waned.

Any thoughts or explanations would be appreciated.

Adjectives and nouns

captaincrouton — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 20:57:19 -0800

Why do we say ".... the first woman *blank* ..." instead of "... the first female *blank* ..." Headlines seem to always read "The first woman president of India ... " We don't write "The first man president of India," it would be "The first male president of India..." So what gives? It kinda drives me nuts. Is there a reason we specify an adult female for things like this?

Book recommendations for the mature woman

b33j — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 21:52:53 -0800

I’d like to read some fiction books where the heroine is intelligent, 40+ years old, not incredibly gorgeous or incredibly wealthy or incredibly famous, but with responsibilities (like teenage kids or a career), who has explicit & hot sex. Chick lit all grown up, you might say. Story and plot is vital. Science fiction is great. I'm pretty relaxed about genre if the other criteria are met. Movies suggestions like these also welcome but it’s easier for me to get to the library than to the video shop. I have browsed the AskMe tags of women and books. I would google it, but I’m not sure how to narrow my search so that I don’t end up with Barbara Taylor Bradford- yech.