Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with woman

Lesbian assault help

Anonymous — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:00:09 -0800

My first lesbian experience quickly became assault. What do I do to take care of myself now? While I'm a queer female, I've never actually been with a woman before. I was at an event that promoted safe exploration of female sexuality. I'd sussed out the org for a while and did research before going in; they had a long list of rules and procedures and had a history of organising such events so I figured I'd be OK.

I spent most of the night observing what was going on before jumping in. Unfortunately I happened to get the one psycho of the group - a crazy hyperactive (later I found out she was drunk) girl who didn't know what she was going, was rough to the point of pain and bleeding, and was very insistent. Despite me begging her to stop and be gentle (she knew it was my first time), she kept going, or she'd change up and then go back to being rough and painful.

I was in near shock and it didn't hit me that it was assault until I got into the taxi home and started crying. Ever since then I've been having flashes of memories, the smell of people's bodies would set me off, and I just feel so lost.

I've been talking to some friends (esp those active with the queer community here) and they've been fantastic with support and resources. But I'm not sure where I can go for help. Looking up "lesbian assault" on Google gets me porn. A lot of the abuse/assault resources are for women attacked by men; not so much for women attacked by women.

I've emailed the organiser (though I think she knew what happened already, just emphasising the gravity of the situation) and I have a doctor's appointment today to check that there hasn't been terrible damage. I did use to see a psychologist for other things, but I'm not sure if queer sexuality is an area she's experienced in. But where to now? I'm going to a big family event overseas in a couple of weeks and they're really conservative (even my very liberal sister was a little bit judgemental when I told her) and I don't want to start breaking down halfway through the event. My boyfriend has been really supportive of everything, but I don't want to rely on him alone for help.

What can I do to take care of myself? Where can I go? (I live in Brisbane) I seem to go from feeling OK to feeling like crap as a yoyo. I keep feeling like I should apologize to someone but I don't know who. I don't want to press charges - I don't want to go through that whole process and I hardly remember the other girl's name. I just want to be able to heal.

Emails can be sent into agirlinpain@care2.com

Help me find Scatman's naked lady

loquax — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:27:48 -0800

Looking for a painting/image from Kubrick's "The Shining". It's the painting of the naked woman hanging above Scatman's bed in Miami. Here it is. Anyone have any ideas about identification? Is it a "known" painting/image? Anywhere I could buy a replica/poster? Looked online but can't seem to find much. Thanks for any help

God's knocks?

Acacia — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:00:22 -0800

Help me find a quote I have forgotten. A while ago I read a quote that went something like- "If God were kind, he would have given a woman some hard knocks before she's thirty." Or some such. Does anyone know it, and who said it? Thanks!

This time, I ain't going dressed in toilet paper.

embrangled — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 05:03:02 -0800

I'm doing Halloween for the first time since I was a kid! Help me think of a costume that's a) smoking hot and b) clever and/or ironic. I've never done Halloween as an adult, and I have no idea what to wear. We'll be going out clubbing, so I'd like to look attractive as well as convincingly in-costume. I'll be with a bunch of cynical smart-arses, so irony and pop-cultural references are very welcome.

I'm female, white, mid-20s and shaped like an hourglass (think classic 1950s silhouette with a small waist but "healthy" thighs). I can sew and I have plenty of thrift and vintage stores at my disposal. I'm open to ideas from any era or genre. Hope me, hive mind!

Help me identify where this scene is from! Novel, most likely.

NikitaNikita — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:53:45 -0800

ID-the-scene-source: Someone watches a neighboring woman through a window as the neighbor carefully prepares for her lover to come visit. The lover comes in, gets it done with, leaves, and she cries. Please help me remember where I saw/read this, AskMeFi! Fairly sure it's a scene from a novel:

The narrator (a young boy, possibly) watches a neighboring woman from a window. The woman prepares carefully for her lover to come visit. She lights candles, gets dressed up, puts on makeup, etc. He comes in, has sex with her quickly (narrator describes him as being sweaty, oaf-ish, not good enough for her), then leaves, and she sits and cries, sobbing into her hands while seated on the sofa. Narrator describes this scene/the affair happening more than once, I think.

I want a physical thing, no more, no less

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:32:52 -0800

How do I identify and meet women interested in a one night stand? For the past few years, I've found myself in a number of relationships where my partners don't want to have sex. They'll do everything to remain technical virgins (oral, mutual masturbation, etc.), but penetrative intercourse is out. For some reason, I seem to keep meeting these sorts of women when I go out looking for a girlfriend.

At this point, I'm single and ready to have some fun. I've been thinking of going to bars and other places where I might meet women who are interested in a purely sexual relationship.

My questions are:

1. How can I tell if a woman is interested in having a one night stand?

2. Where can I meet women who are interested in only a sexual relationship? For example, does craigslist Casual Encounters actually work?

3. If I suspect a woman may be interested in a one night stand, then how can I proposition her for this?

If you need to follow up, throwaway e-mail is mansextonight at gmail.com.

Firsthand information about endometrial ablation

Anonymous — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:19:23 -0800

Please tell me what you know about endometrial ablation as a means of lessening or hopefully stopping my bleeding. (This is a female-parts question.) I'm looking for firsthand information on this procedure, if possible. I have only seen it mentioned a few times in a couple of threads from several years ago. I have Googled and gotten a pretty good idea of the mechanics of the procedure and how it's performed; what I'm looking for is personal experiences, info on whether I'd even be considered a candidate for it, that sort of thing.

I'm a single woman in my mid-thirties, live in the southern United States, casually sexually active, with no children and no desire for them, ever. I have had two abortions in the past. I only reveal this to really drive the point home that I do not want kids and will not be changing my mind.

Ever since I got my first period, my menstrual cycles were unpredictable, prolonged, heavy, and incredibly painful. When I was about 21, my doctor told me about Depo-Provera and I started using it (this was several years before the bone-loss issues were widely known). I was on Depo off and on for about ten years or so (got pregnant and had my second abortion during one of the "off" years). I absolutely loved the complete lack of bleeding while I was on Depo.

Unfortunately, last year I had a bone scan and was diagnosed with severe osteopenia (just shy of having actual osteoporosis), so my GYN insisted that I get off the Depo immediately and she put me on Sprintec birth control pills, to be taken continuously. I was aware that I probably wouldn't be completely bleed-free anymore, but I only expected occasional "spotting." After six months on the Sprintec (presumably the Depo had finally worn off) I started bleeding and didn't stop for a month and a half. Then I took a week off the pills (the "placebo" week, the way BC pills are normally taken, and on the recommendation of the GYN), stopped bleeding briefly, and then started bleeding again. Not monsoon-strength bleeding, but just enough to inconvenience me and constantly make me highly uncomfortable. I was pretty freaked out and expressed my concerns to the GYN, wondering if something might be wrong with me.

Without having me come in to see her, the GYN then switched my prescription to the lower-dose Lessina birth control pills, which I've been on for four months now. For the first three months there was just a little spotting, but now once again I'm bleeding constantly, with all the attendant discomforts (cramping, irritability, etc.) of a real period. I tried taking a week off, again, and the bleeding briefly stopped, but as soon as I got back on the pills I again started bleeding just enough to need tampons. To be clear, the bleeding is not what I think most people would consider "heavy," i.e., needing to change my tampon every hour, but it is constant (not stopping). I am taking the pills as directed, faithfully at at the same time every morning.

The last time I spoke to my GYN about all this, she told me dismissively that "every woman has to deal with some bleeding" and pretty much told me I should get over myself. I won't be going back to her. I'm not a moron and I don't want a doctor who only tells me what I want to hear, but I expect my doctors to be a little kinder when I'm freaking out about my body acting up.

When I find a new GYN, I will of course tell them everything and agree to any tests they might want to run. But I'd like to bring up the subject of endometrial ablation, which I didn't know about until recently and which I've been Googling and reading about, but I don't know anyone in real life who has undergone the procedure. Can any of you provide firsthand information? Will any doctor just refuse me outright if I ask about it? I am still relatively young and have no kids, and I keep reading stories about how doctors won't agree to sterilization procedures on younger people with no kids unless there's a serious enough medical condition to warrant it, and are always assuming a woman will inevitably change her mind later about wanting babies (about which, see above; I really won't).

I also have never been diagnosed with endometriosis, fibroids, cysts, or anything serious like that. My last few PAP tests have been completely normal, though I have not yet had one since going off the Depo last year. There is a history of breast cancer in my immediate family so I'm probably at a higher risk there. Would my current condition be considered "not bad enough" to justify a procedure like this?

Other things I've considered: The Mirena IUD, which was mentioned by my last GYN as an option (but not at the top of her list, since she said I need the estrogen in BC pills to help build my bones back up), but I really don't want to use an IUD. I have read up a lot on those, including many comments here on AskMe, and I know they're now considered very safe and effective, but for personal reasons that's not an option for me. I've also, in desperation, thought about begging to go back on the Depo and take some sort of calcium-building supplement at the same time, but I'm almost certain no doctor would agree to that, knowing what terrible shape my bones are already in.

I will follow up via the mods if necessary, but just to be clear, what I'm really looking for here is firsthand information about endometrial ablation, like, "I/my sister/my friend had the procedure and it was [a big help/a disaster/whatever]," or "I work at a GYN office and you [would/wouldn't] be considered a candidate because [whatever]. You would have to [ask nicely/get off the pills/bleed harder/have a baby/wait a year/whatever] before they would perform this on you."

I know that there is no guarantee it would completely stop my bleeding.

P.S., Any idea how much it would cost, assuming no insurance?

Single female traveling alone and staying in a youth hostel in Shanghai: fun adventure or catastrophically bad idea?

aquafortis — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:52:12 -0800

Single female traveling alone and staying in a youth hostel in Shanghai: fun adventure or catastrophically bad idea? Do any women out there have any experience traveling alone to Shanghai and staying in a youth hostel? I've been thinking this would be fun, but don't know if I'd be better off waiting until my friends can join me some other time. Would Bejing be a safer choice?

All thoughts, ideas, and suggestions welcome-- thanks!

Are those gosh durned kids really having as much free love as the Tv says?

reenum — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:24:24 -0800

How accurate are the media portrayals of young people engaging in risky sexual behaviors? Recently, I've noticed that a lot of media outlets seem to be sensationalizing the sexual practices of people in their teens and 20's. These sources would have you believe that these groups are always 'hooking up', they prefer oral sex to kissing, and that now engage in sexual activity first and date if the experience is positive. Things along those lines.

I'm 30, so I was a teen in the early 90's. I find it hard to believe that sexual mores have changed all that much in the last 15 years. Obviously, I don't get much action, so I can't speak from experience. Have things really become as open and free as the media would have us believe?

Are there any studies or news stories that give statistics of how prevalent sexual activity and risky sexual behaviors are in teens and twentysomethings? Anecdotes are also welcome.

So I wanna buy a watch

like_neon — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:52:43 -0800

I want to buy a watch. I don't know where to start. So I want a watch. I am pretty sure I want it to be metal with a square face but that's about all I know. I'd like it to be classy rather than trendy. Other related questions were either out of my budget or possibly talking about men's watches and I'm not sure if that makes a difference (I'm a woman).

The budget is about 300 British pounds (or let's say $500).

What brands would be good? Where would I find them? (what should I avoid?)
When I try them on what am I supposed to be looking for?

This is in the UK but I can even wait til Christmas to try to buy in the States. No rush, just want something good quality and lasting.

Low cost or pro bono legal aid for domestic violence / abuse victims in California?

sergeant sandwich — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:00:41 -0800

My friend and her ex-boyfriend got in a fight, he got violent and beat her up pretty bad. She got in the car with their baby and fled cross-country to stay with her parents. There is a hearing next month to determine custody of the child, and she doesn't want to lose the kid to what is likely going to be an abusive father. Lawyer up, right? Problem is, not a lot of money. Can you point me to any organizations in California that provide pro-bono / sliding-scale / low-cost legal aid services for abused women? So, my friend and her (now-ex) boyfriend had a child together and were living together in Fairfield, CA. In April of this year, they got in a fight over something (I don't know what), he snapped and beat the shit out of her. She took the kid and the clothes on her back and drove to her parents' house in the midwest, where she's been staying since.

There's a hearing in Fairfield at the end of July to determine the custody of the child, and she's scared that without a lawyer she's gonna lose her son and/or be forced to regularly see Mr. Violent if there's some kind of joint custody agreement.

As you can probably imagine, having to leave all your belongings and job behind on a moment's notice with toddler in tow has put her in a financial pickle, and she's having a hard time finding the $3k it will cost her to hire the cheapest lawyer she can find, and on top of that there's tickets for the flight back out to the hearing, etc. I and other friends have lent some money to help, but none of us can pony up that kind of cash on short notice.

I imagine there must be some organizations and/or social service groups which provide legal aid or representation for women who are victims of domestic violence. I've done some googling and found a few in California, but I suspect there are some knowledgeable people on AskMe who can set us on the right direction as far as finding help.

I'm not personally involved in the situation in any way, just trying to lend a hand after the fact. Any assistance anyone can provide would be appreciated in a big way.

Am I doomed to be a doormat forever?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:24:56 -0800

Are relationships a zero sum game? Is there such a thing as a happy compromise? I'm a 30 year old male. Last year, I got out of an engagement. I thought I loved this girl, and was willing to do what it took. The main issue we had was with religion. She's Catholic, and I'm not. I first agreed that our kids were going to be Catholic. I don't care much about religion, so I agreed because it was important to her. It was a slippery slope from there. I finally put my foot down when she tried to make me go to church with her and any future kids. When I told her that I felt like I was the one compromising, she said, "I'm not sure I'm ready to compromise."

Before that, I was in another long term relationship. My GF was very passive aggressive and manipulative. Whenever I disagreed with her view, she would pout or try to get me to go along with her way of doing things. Again, I felt like I was doing all the compromising to make our relationship a happy one.

I've recently been thinking that maybe relationships are zero sum, in that there has to be a winner and a loser in every interaction. That's what I've known, and being willing to work things out seems to have caused nothing but heartbreak and resentment on my part.

To all the MeFi'ers out there, I ask you this: What have I been doing wrong in my relationships? Are all my exes just crazy or is there something I'm not doing correctly?

I'd like this to remain anonymous because I'm interested in a girl who reads MeFi and I don't want her to get wind of this issue.

I've set up a throwaway e-mail at weirdrelations at gmail dot com for follow ups.

Any books out there that give advice about dating a divorced mother?

bcredrabbit — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 07:44:24 -0800

Any books out there that give advice about dating a divorced mother? A few weeks ago I met a really nice woman on eHarmony. We have a lot in common and have seemed to hit it off well. Everything is going great so far, and I want it to continue to go well. She is a few years older than me, has a 1.5 year old son, and was divorced 6 months ago (separated two years ago) after a seven-year marriage. Obviously, these factors create additional considerations that make dating a little bit different than dating a woman who does not have a child and was never married. I've found a few websites that talk about how to date a divorced woman/mother, but nothing great and no books that address the topic. There are a lot of books for women that want to date after divorce, but nothing that I can find about how to date a divorced mother/woman. Any books/other resources that address this topic? Furthermore, if these books approach the topic from a Christian perspective, that would be even better. Thanks.

Thank-you gift for my cousin?

obliquicity — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 10:47:49 -0800

I need help coming up with a good thank-you gift for my (female, early 30s) cousin at the end of a 3-week visit. I've been staying with my cousin in London for about 3 weeks, and would like to get her something meaningful to say thank you. But to get to the point: I don't know her very well (I grew up in the US, she in the UK); despite being exactly the same age we are entirely dissimilar in personality/likes/interests; she is currently on a diet so food is out (including taking her out for a meal); she doesn't drink, so alcohol is out; and she's already got every household tchotchke thing (candles, bath/beauty products, picture frames, etc.) I can think of. Oh, and she works in the entertainment industry so things like "here are tickets to X" are entirely redundant. What's more, she works fairly long hours and spends each weekend out of town in order to take care of a relative, so her schedule can be tricky.

So based on what I know, she likes: relaxing with tv/movies; spa weekends; her family's dogs; trashy magazines (her description); hanging out with her godson; mystery novels and chick lit. She doesn't like: running or other exercise for its own sake; art, especially of the modern and contemporary varieties; crafty stuff; jigsaw puzzles.

To top it all off, she's far, far wealthier than I am, so I'd rather get something that demonstrates some imagination than something that just says "here's a random luxury item" -- because we're in different enough financial brackets that it would probably come across as "here's something kinda tacky." Plus, she's the kind of person who just buys whatever it is she wants -- so she already has all the latest DVDs, etc.

And for those of you who want to suggest donating to charity in her name/honor -- I've sponsored her in the Race for Life this weekend, but want to do something that's actually for *her*, since she's been doing so much to make my stay here fun.

Watched the Birdie

popcassady — Sun, 17 May 2009 03:44:53 -0800

A woman's head on an owl's body. What film did I see? Probably about twenty years ago, I saw a film on BBC2's DEFII programme. It was back and white, probably European and silent era (stylistically at least).

My memory might be vague but I'm sure there was a scene where a man wearing a straw boater was attacked by an owl (or possibly another bird of prey) with a woman's head. The man was walking beside some iron railings. The woman's head was shaven.

Scratching for more memories of the film: a suitcase, a book, someone getting into bed, tinted film.

Any ideas?

Why doesn't the rug match the drapes?

reenum — Thu, 14 May 2009 10:36:34 -0800

Why do some people's hair on their head and pubic hair not match in color? First off, I'm excluding people who have their hair colored. I know why their hair doesn't match.

I've known women who had dirty blond hair and had black pubic hair. Others I've spoken to have shared the same thing. Given that hair should be the same all over, why is pubic hair sometimes a different color than the rest of your hair?

What women's clothing stores can I start shopping at now that I've shrunk to an 18/20?

booksherpa — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 08:18:37 -0800

What women's clothing stores can I start shopping at now that I've shrunk to an 18/20? After 6+ months of Weight Watchers and Curves, I've lost 56 pounds, and gone from a 26/28 to an 18/20. I walked into a J. Jill the other day, and actually fit in their XL!! I haven't really shopped anywhere but Lane Bryant and Avenue for over 20 years, and have no clue what stores might carry stuff I like, and somewhat larger sizes. My closest girlfriends are short, skinny, and have different tastes. Things to keep in mind:

I'm 40, about 6' tall (so, tall pants in some cases), and still need plus sizes. I'm curvy all around - larger bust, larger hips.

I teach, so stuff appropriate for school - we're not crazy formal, though, and I teach younger kids (much sitting on floor), so nicer drawstring pants would be fabulous (they're usable through more pants sizes)

The word "bohemian" is a great description of me. I love bright colors and patterns, v-neck tops, flowy tops, dark-wash jeans, layering pieces - I tend to dress younger than I am (and look younger too, according to neutral parties). I think Indian clothing is gorgeous. I don't generally do dresses/skirts (summer+thighs=chafing). There is no color I won't wear.

I don't want to spend a lot, especially on pants, because I'm still losing weight. Places with good clearance/sale racks are much appreciated. On the other hand, I've been known to treat myself to a really cute top that works with jeans and work pants.

I prefer shopping in a store to online - I'm an odd shape to fit these days. Online could work for tops, though. I live in New Jersey, for local shop consideration.

Sorry for all the details, but I really have no idea where to go! Pointers to other threads also appreciated; my searches turned up very little. I've seen this thread and this one, but neither quite gets at what I need. Thanks!

Recomend any good Wonder Woman stories?

bartleby — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 11:00:04 -0800

Recommend any good Wonder Woman graphic novels/storylines? A female friend (who was a huge Buffy fan) has recently discovered Wonder Woman.

So far, she's only watched the animated feature (which seems to at least given her an origin storyline and some background to build on) and picked up a few random issues -which she was unimpressed with.

She came to me as her comics-reading friend, but I've never really followed Wonder Woman much. I did give her my copy of the Hiketeia graphic novel (WW trapped between a ritual obligation and well, Batman), which she's reading now.

Can anyone recommend any good Wonder Woman stories for me to get her (birthday coming up) or recommend to her? Graphic novels or trade paperbacks preferred, but if there is a great storyline, I'm sure I could track down some back issues.

Looking for comics/novels/print; no Wonder Woman lunchboxes, jewelry, outfits, etc. Just stuff to read.

P.S. Since when can she fly on her own?

...Bead Goddess?

jinjo — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 19:06:28 -0800

ProbablyNotFilter: Is the woman in this brass Art Nouveau medallion supposed to be anyone in particular? I got it at an antique store awhile ago, and I've always been curious. I know this art style is all about random pretty women for pretty's sake, but I figured there was still a chance that she might be, say, a specific mythological figure or something. Thanks!

How can I stop thinking about knocking boots with every lady I see?

Anonymous — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 10:57:13 -0800

I'm having pervasive sexual thoughts. How do I make them stop? (NSFW) I'm a 30 year old male. I've only had one sexual relationship in my life. I look at porn almost everyday, and have a large selection of porn mags.

Recently, whenever I see a woman who is even a little attractive, I start having thoughts of myself and the woman having sex. I can't seem to stop these thoughts.

I've got an appointment with my therapist next week, but what can I do in the interim to make these thoughts less pervasive?

How many doctors do I need to see, and with what frequency?

peanut_mcgillicuty — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 13:15:47 -0800

Trying to make sure I've got all my bases covered and can spend all my 2009 flex spending--how many doctors do I "need"? I am a 27 year old woman, generally in good health. I don’t smoke, drink moderately, am fairly active, eat well, and weigh in the low end of average for my height. I go to the dentist regularly and have been going to an ob/gyn for birth control and annual physicals for years.

I’m getting Lasik surgery next month so I won’t need an eye doctor aside from them for a while. I’ve had braces and had my wisdom teeth out, so no orthodontia needs. I have been in counseling and so have already found someone in that department when needed.

However, I wonder if I need to add other doctors to my list. Should I have a “regular” doctor I go see for any other kind of annual physical or when I’ve got the sniffles or food poisoning? (Usually, I just go to an urgent care clinic or wait it out). Is there any kind of doctor that can help in the above cases as well as provide ob/gyn checkups and birth control prescriptions? Should I start seeing a dermatologist with any regularity at some point? (I’ve been once, about a strange mole; my mother has a history of skin cancer although I’ve not had as much exposure as she did). Any other doctors that I’m leaving out?

I realize a lot of this depends on an individual and his/her health needs. I don’t have any health concerns right now, but my previous ob/gyn is leaving my insurance network so I need to find a new doctor, and I will have a surplus of 2009 flex spending money so I figured it might be a good idea to find out if I’m covering all my bases here. Which doctors do healthy adult females need to visit and how often?

Hiking safely alone

footnote — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 11:13:32 -0800

I, a female-type person, have been inspired by this FPP to hit the road again, but is it safe for me, a female-type person, to go alone? I'm thinking about hiking the length of the C&O Canal solo (180 miles - I'd probably do it in 2.5 weeks because I'm slow) and camping along the way. I'm not worried about getting lost or injured, because it's a flat tow path the whole way, but I am worried about getting tragically slain by a psychopath.

Another movie ID question: Modernized Woman in White?

phoenixy — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 07:34:33 -0800

Movie ID help: old film, a woman in white, escaped mental patient, is hitchhiking.... One day in film studies class back in college the professor showed us a clip from an old movie to illustrate continuity errors. I didn't think much of it but then a year later I read The Woman in White and was struck the similarity between the movie scene and a scene from the book. What is this movie?

The movie, I am pretty sure, is old, black and white. I think the clip is from the very beginning of the film. A guy is driving down the highway and nearly hits a woman in a white nightgown who is standing in the middle of the road trying to flag down his car. He stops and gves her a ride. They get to a tollboth or some kind of police stop, and the officer says that they are looking for a woman who has recently escaped from a mental institution and if this guy has possibly seen her. The guy says the woman who he is giving the ride to is his wife, and no he hasn't seen anyone by that description. The cop lets him go and he starts to drive away. When he turns to the woman to ask her about it, she's gone.

Do you remember a picture of a naked melting person?

sergeant sandwich — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:29:55 -0800

I'm looking for back story on a somewhat disturbing photograph which was circulating around the internet around 10-15 years ago. Trouble is, I no longer have a copy of the file, and can't find it. The photo in question was an internet meme from back before they were called that. It could best be described as "face-down naked melting woman". I say melting because.. well, that's what it looked like. A big puddle of skin, with feet; sort of like what you'd get if people were made of wax and one was made to lie face down in the sun.

The melting person (who for some reason, we thought was a woman, but it was hard to tell) was completely naked, face down in the middle of what I recall to be a city street, possibly cobblestone. It was daylight, and the photo was taken from behind at what looked like about a distance of 40-50 feet. We called her Melta.

Does this ring a bell for anyone? I've been searching the internets high and low for a copy of the picture, with every possible combination of search terms I can think of, and I've crawled up and down sites like rotten.com and ogrish until I couldn't take it anymore. Not for the lulz, but because for nearly half my life now, I've been absolutely mystified by the origin of this photo. I need some sort of explanation.

Our best guess was that it was a photograph of a suicide jumper who had been overweight and the impact was so violent that the flesh liquefied and spread out like a puddle.

But I don't think flesh does that in reality, and there was absolutely no split skin, no blood or gore or anything at all, no cops standing around, no rubberneckers gawking, in fact nobody else in the picture at all. No other visual clues that would be indicative of a suicide scene. And why would they be completely naked? It just.. it didn't look like a suicide to me, and this explanation never quite held water for me.

The only other conceivable explanation for this picture is that a person who had recently lost a great deal of weight, and therefore had very loose skin, was running down the street buck naked and tripped and fell on their face. But then this is weird enough as it is.

Anyway, I'm hoping someone at least remembers this picture. Better yet would be a link to it somewhere. But what I'm really looking for here is to learn Melta's story. If you can help me scratch this fifteen-year itch, I will be forever grateful.

I'd like to explode, but can't.

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 11:28:28 -0800

I'm a man and I can't orgasm. What can I do to remedy this? I am a late 20's male who recently began having sex, and I am having a distressing problem. Namely, I can't achieve orgasm.

The first time my partner and I did it, I orgasmed, but since then, nothing.

I masturbated a lot through the years and have the feeling that this lies at the core of my problem. A vagina doesn't grip my penis as tightly as my hand does. I also masturbated without lotion or lube. Like a good boy, I've also been using condoms. As a result, the friction needed to make achieve orgasm isn't there.

Is there anything I can do to remedy this problem? Any techniques or toys that might get my penis more accustomed to the slippery looseness of a vagina? My partner assures me that her vagina is pretty tight.

If you need more details or want to e-mail me privately, please e-mail me at chronicmast at gmail dot com.

Thanks!