It's my partner's birthday next Saturday and I have a variety of small gifts on a Japanese cooking theme. His favourite food is Japanese and the main gift is a class at an excellent Asian cooking school. I found the PERFECT card for him which has sushi on the front and says Happy Birthday in Japanese inside. I want to write something funny or clever, that is sushi or Japanese food related but I can't think of anything. Please help me!
I'm at business school, and we have regular social functions, mainly happy hours, promoted by the school with the aim of expanding our networks. It's not like I'm bad at them. I'm actually pretty sociable. But I'm there for a reason, and I wouldn't be there if I had a choice. Can anyone suggest ways to optimize this socialization time, for example, exercises I might practice at these events to be more witty, funny or charming? Thanks! [more inside]
Help me buy a witty t-shirt for one of my friends (themes: hip hop, Arnie, Raiders, macho posturing, 90s rnb, Michael Jordan) [more inside]
So my boyfriend posted his first app to the Android Marketplace. I want to get him a cookie cake thing to celebrate it. But I need a witty and Androidy related phrase to have written on it. I'm not witty. The best(i use that word in the lightest sense) I've come up with is "Condroidulations!" That is stupid. Please help! Portmantos(obviously) welcome!
Help me find on hold music for my company. [more inside]
What witty things can I write on co-workers cards? [more inside]
In light of the recent Mattel/Hasbro suit against Facebook's Scrabulous application, what witty sayings can I spell out in Scrabble tiles to voice my perturbation with the suit? [more inside]
Where can I buy legitimately funny, sarcastic and/or offensive Christmas Cards? [more inside]
What should I name my beer? [more inside]
I really love Chuck Klosterman's writing. Please help me find more authors/columnists like him. [more inside]
My girlfriend needs a quote of needs 25 words or less to summarize her college experience! Hope me to hope her, Mr. A. Metafilter! [more inside]
I'm an adult who gets bullied on the public transit bus. There, I said it. [more inside]
Lately I've been fascinated by "smart" songs: songs with witty, intelligent lyrics, especially if the lyrics are literary. Can you recommend more music of this sort? [samples inside] [more inside]
Bugger. I got bit by the Witty worm. It destroyed my boot sector and has ripped shreds through other data. I was able to use the recover CD from Alienware to get the system booted, but it seems to have installed a second version of windows. Because so much is toasted, I plan to fdisk and start over, but I'm trying to get as much data off the system as I can beforehand. But, I can't get my CD burner to work, even after reinstalling the Roxio software that came with the system, and updating all the drivers. [more inside] [more inside]