I'm at business school, and we have regular social functions, mainly happy hours, promoted by the school with the aim of expanding our networks. It's not like I'm bad at them. I'm actually pretty sociable. But I'm there for a reason, and I wouldn't be there if I had a choice. Can anyone suggest ways to optimize this socialization time, for example, exercises I might practice at these events to be more witty, funny or charming? Thanks! [more inside]
posted by Borborygmus on Sep 23, 2012 - 13 answers

Help me buy a witty t-shirt for one of my friends (themes: hip hop, Arnie, Raiders, macho posturing, 90s rnb, Michael Jordan) [more inside]
posted by lifethatihavenotlivedyet on Nov 8, 2011 - 8 answers

So my boyfriend posted his first app to the Android Marketplace. I want to get him a cookie cake thing to celebrate it. But I need a witty and Androidy related phrase to have written on it. I'm not witty. The best(i use that word in the lightest sense) I've come up with is "Condroidulations!" That is stupid. Please help! Portmantos(obviously) welcome!
posted by Epsilon-minus semi moron on Sep 8, 2010 - 32 answers

Help me find on hold music for my company. [more inside]
posted by gergtreble on May 19, 2009 - 31 answers

What witty things can I write on co-workers cards? [more inside]
posted by KateHasQuestions on Jun 19, 2008 - 24 answers

In light of the recent Mattel/Hasbro suit against Facebook's Scrabulous application, what witty sayings can I spell out in Scrabble tiles to voice my perturbation with the suit? [more inside]
posted by vanoakenfold on Jan 17, 2008 - 10 answers

Where can I buy legitimately funny, sarcastic and/or offensive Christmas Cards? [more inside]
posted by melorama on Nov 12, 2007 - 13 answers

What should I name my beer? [more inside]
posted by jennyjenny on Apr 28, 2007 - 50 answers

I really love Chuck Klosterman's writing. Please help me find more authors/columnists like him. [more inside]
posted by reenum on Apr 5, 2007 - 10 answers

My girlfriend needs a quote of needs 25 words or less to summarize her college experience! Hope me to hope her, Mr. A. Metafilter! [more inside]
posted by TheNewWazoo on Jan 12, 2007 - 34 answers

I'm an adult who gets bullied on the public transit bus. There, I said it. [more inside]
posted by cior on Feb 7, 2006 - 169 answers

Lately I've been fascinated by "smart" songs: songs with witty, intelligent lyrics, especially if the lyrics are literary. Can you recommend more music of this sort? [samples inside] [more inside]
posted by jdroth on Oct 31, 2005 - 100 answers

Bugger. I got bit by the Witty worm. It destroyed my boot sector and has ripped shreds through other data. I was able to use the recover CD from Alienware to get the system booted, but it seems to have installed a second version of windows. Because so much is toasted, I plan to fdisk and start over, but I'm trying to get as much data off the system as I can beforehand. But, I can't get my CD burner to work, even after reinstalling the Roxio software that came with the system, and updating all the drivers. [more inside] [more inside]
posted by dejah420 on Mar 22, 2004 - 6 answers