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Intelligent resources about stages of a long-term relationship

I'd like to learn a little bit more about what couples counselors, therapists, and psychologists have written about the stages that long-term relationships go through, what the issues and concerns are in the different stages, and what approaches are helpful in keeping the relationship strong at different stages. The articles I've been able to find on the web are pretty shallow, and seem to assume that the purpose of marriage is to have kids. I'd like to find something that is more appropriate to a couple who got married at 40+ so have already attained (presumably) a certain degree of wisdom, and for whom kids are not in the picture or in the cards. Authors that I have found helpful and intelligent in the past have been Gottman, Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight), and the author of perennial AskMe favorite The Five Love Languages. I'm specifically interested in the 5-10 year stage, but welcome broader surveys as well.
posted by matildaben on Jan 29, 2014 - 5 answers

Why do I feel so sad, post wisdom tooth extraction?

I had a wisdom tooth extracted yesterday, surgically with IV sedation. I was very very nervous, but it went fine, and today the pain is under easy control from paracetamol. However, I feel not just completely drained (which is, I guess, understandable given how tense I was yesterday and the small physical trauma) but unusually sad. I can't remember the procedure due to the sedation, and I feel weirdly like I'm missing a bit of time that I shouldn't be. I feel ashamed that I was so nervous beforehand. But more than that I just feel so sad about nothing I can put my finger on. I take lofepramine for depression, which is generally pretty well under control. Would any of the drugs I might have been given yesterday counteracted it? Has anyone else experienced this?
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2013 - 17 answers

There's Only So Much Wisdom I Can Impart In Between Their Fart Jokes!

I'd like to convey as much wisdom/advice as possible to my kids before they become feral teenagers drenched in Axe and scorn. Please share the best lists/essays/articles you've ever seen on the theme of "Teaching Your Kids About ______". [more inside]
posted by julthumbscrew on Oct 22, 2013 - 14 answers

To Me, On my Graduation Day

I'm writing a letter to a wonderful graduate of the (high school) Class of 2013 on the occasion of her jumping off into that great abyss of adulthood. I'm hoping to include wisdom from random people on the internet (that would be you) about what you would tell your self if you could go back to the day that you graduated from high school so that I can include it in my letter. Travel back in that time machine, go to that shining day of your graduation and tell me what you would tell yourself, no matter how funny, sad, bizarre, etc.
posted by Leezie on Jun 14, 2013 - 42 answers

How should I decide whether to have my wisdom teeth removed or not?

My dentist says they should come out because they will eventually rot and worse, allow decay on my second molars. My surgeon says that while there is decay on one of the wisdom teeth, there is actually a tendency for older people to get fewer cavities. I am having trouble processing this and other information. How do I decide? What other data and information should I collect? [more inside]
posted by starkraven on Apr 12, 2013 - 27 answers

Teeth Need to Come Out, Not Come In Feet First

I've waited too long, I need my wisdom teeth out now. They have just started hurting. Complication, no dental insurance or really any money. Help? [more inside]
posted by Garm on Nov 19, 2012 - 10 answers

Wisdom tooth words of warning?

I'm 34, and currently have all my wisdom teeth, but one broke over the summer and got an infection a while back. I'm on heavy duty antibiotics now to minimize that and the extraction is scheduled for Friday morning. My regular dentist will be doing the procedure, and it sounds as though I'll just be getting a local anaesthetic. He said I wouldn't even need someone to drive me to the appointment, though I probably will, just to be on the safe side. What else should I know before going into this?
posted by peppermind on Oct 30, 2012 - 32 answers

What should I eat after I get my wisdom teeth out?

What are the best, funnest, most satisfying foods to eat after I get my wisdom teeth out? [more inside]
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl on Sep 27, 2012 - 34 answers

Songs/Poems/Writing (brief) done by people near the end of their life, especially those who knew it was near their death.

We have a venue and put on a monthly variety show. Up until now there hasn't really been a theme, just lot's of variety. I'd like to focus one of these on Songs/Poems/brief writings that were done by people who were dying and knew it. I think Freddy Mercury did a few songs celebrating life, I know that Warren Zevon did. Anything you can give me would be appreciated. And it doesn't really have to be celebratory.
posted by kenaldo on Aug 15, 2012 - 7 answers

Do what makes you ___

"Do what makes you happy" - awful career advice? [more inside]
posted by naju on Jul 19, 2012 - 26 answers

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

Several years ago, my husband's close friend died suddenly. Now the friend's oldest son is graduating from high school, and his wife asked my husband (and others) to pass on some personal accumulated wisdom and memories. What kinds of things should we address? [more inside]
posted by Madamina on Jun 22, 2012 - 14 answers

So obvious, even a fool could understand it

How does one internalize advice that is an enumerated collection of pithy platitudes? [more inside]
posted by identitymap on May 4, 2012 - 10 answers

Should I wait until my tooth infection clears before getting them extracted?

My two right wisdom teeth are infected and abscessed. I'm on 500mg of Amoxicillin three times a day. Should I wait until the infection clears before getting them extracted? [more inside]
posted by clcapps on Apr 21, 2012 - 12 answers

Can I board a plane 24 hours after I get my wisdom tooth removed?

Have any of you flown on an airplane the day after you got a wisdom tooth removed? My oral surgeon says it'll be fine, but I'm nervous. [more inside]
posted by Viola on Feb 16, 2012 - 22 answers

first time builder in canberra

Two home building questions. Firstly for those who have built, with the wisdom of hindsight, what things did you forget that you wished you had had included or for that matter extra stuff you paid for but wouldn't now. Secondly any recommendations for builders in Canberra Australia, in particular ones good at sticking to a budget. [more inside]
posted by katelizabeth on Jan 22, 2011 - 12 answers

Dad book gift filter: Great topics in easy to digest booka

Dad gift filter: Hive mind, what are your favorite books I can get as a gift for my father that are easy-to-digest-in-snippets kind of book? Topics such as self-help, wisdom, psychology, philosophy, biography, and creativity are all great. [more inside]
posted by parma on Nov 29, 2010 - 14 answers

Atheist Substitute for the Bible?

What's a good atheist substitute for the Bible? I'm looking for something I can read periodically that encourages me to step back from all of the hecticness, and to think about how to lead a good life and how to be a good person. It doesn't have to be infallible, just something that helps me to think about what's important. Accumulated wisdom, explained simply, is a bonus. [more inside]
posted by surenoproblem on Oct 17, 2010 - 84 answers

What can I learn from disaster?

What steps can I take to reduce the risk of, or prepare myself for, common disasters in life? The first time my hard drive crashed, I learned to back up my data regularly; when a friend's dad had a heart attack when I was younger, I learned how to eat healthily and exercise; it took a root canal for me to realise that brushing my teeth isn't enough. I've also learned the hard way that just because a young woman asks you out, doesn't mean that you can skip the step where you ask, "Hey, uh, you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" I'd like to learn more of these vital lessons without having to go through the disaster part first. Have you learned things from surviving a disaster, that you can pass on? I'm most interested in things that happen to nearly everyone: having a hard drive crash, losing your parents, stuff like that, but if there are other things I should know, I'd like to hear those, too. [more inside]
posted by surenoproblem on Oct 7, 2010 - 51 answers

Navigating across a cultural divide

RelationshipFilter: Hints requested on communicating across nuances of different cultures without constantly worrying about hurt feelings, treading on eggshells and overwhelming fears and doubts. [more inside]
posted by The Lady is a designer on May 31, 2010 - 16 answers

Safe OTC and Homeopathic treatments for use after wisdom teeth removal.

You are not my doctor or my dentist, but what over the counter and homeopathic products are reasonably safe to use after wisdom tooth extraction? [more inside]
posted by kscottz on May 15, 2010 - 11 answers

Another typically American AskMeFi question

In the Boston area, what should one expect to pay to have two wisdom teeth removed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2009 - 9 answers

I'm bleeding!

how much bleeding is normal after a wisdom tooth extraction? [more inside]
posted by crazylegs on Sep 8, 2009 - 12 answers

list of wisdom nuggets?

is there a thorough list of basic life things that adults should know? (e.g. go to the dentist twice a year, get your oil changed every __ miles, send thank you notes after interviews). [more inside]
posted by k7lim on Jul 8, 2009 - 18 answers

More like I need widsom insertion, amirite?

Talk me down: Wisdom teeth removal and utter terror. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 9, 2009 - 81 answers

Help me find wisdom!

MeFi virgin here, can anybody help me find wisdom? [more inside]
posted by big open mouth on Jan 2, 2009 - 40 answers

Wisdom tooth chip right after my insurance ended. D'oh

I seem to have chipped a tiny bit of my upper-left wisdom tooth. My dental insurance also ran out a month ago. Now what? [more inside]
posted by special-k on Nov 29, 2008 - 16 answers

Do wisdom teeth really need to come out, or is my dentist trying to hustle me?

Do wisdom teeth really need to come out, or is my dentist trying to hustle me? My question, dear MeFites, is... do you really need to have your wisdom teeth taken out if they're not causing you any pain? [more inside]
posted by katala on Nov 4, 2008 - 52 answers

A bober election day is hard to accept

I'm getting two wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow(top and bottom on the same side) I've never had a tooth pulled. It is my tradition to drink while watching the election results. I know my dentist would recommend against this. If I *were* to drink on Tuesday, how bad would that be? Anyone have experience with the tooth extractions and the drinking? Also feel free to share your recommendations for food/after care/things I should expect
posted by Epsilon-minus semi moron on Nov 2, 2008 - 33 answers

Source code refactoring website?

I'm looking for a website where people post source code and then others comment on improvements.
posted by zzztimbo on Sep 26, 2008 - 6 answers

How much does the living tissue weigh in a fully developed wisdom tooth?

How much does the living tissue weigh in a fully developed wisdom tooth?
posted by Null Pointer and the Exceptions on Aug 7, 2008 - 4 answers

The Best Gift of All!

My son is almost 1.5 – I’d like to make him a life book [more inside]
posted by doorsfan on Feb 13, 2008 - 4 answers

Jewish Wisdom

Looking for wisdom from Judaism. A while back, someone posted a link to a great essay. It was chock full of Jewish wisdom. I can't remember the context, but I want to say it had to do with success and achievement. As opposed to saying that ego-gratification and success were a bad thing, the essay instead pointed out that there was virtue in doing things for yourself and virtue in aquiring the trappings of success. Anyone want to conjure up a link for me? How about any other essays and articles filled with good Judaic wisdom?
posted by jasondigitized on Oct 1, 2007 - 7 answers

pain control

Vicodin is not working for my post-wisdom tooth holes, what do I do? [more inside]
posted by mustcatchmooseandsquirrel on May 24, 2007 - 33 answers

Help me write my art & design college commencement speech!

What would you want to say to a community of brand new thinkers/changers/makers? Or what advice can you give me about commencement speeches in general? [more inside]
posted by SoylentErin on Apr 17, 2007 - 12 answers

Buffett quotes

Please help me find two Warren Buffet quotes/articles [more inside]
posted by Kwantsar on Feb 13, 2007 - 5 answers

The WQ of Solomon?

We all know about IQ - but has anybody ever tried to make a standardised test for wisdom? [more inside]
posted by rongorongo on Nov 14, 2006 - 6 answers

Relocated tooth

After having an impacted wisdom tooth removed over three weeks ago the adjacent molar seems to have relocated because it feels like it's more elevated now and I can no longer bite down completely (there's also some sensitivity). [more inside]
posted by zinegurl on Oct 22, 2006 - 5 answers

post wisdom teeth extraction: can i start smoking again now?

how long should i wait before smoking after i had my wisdom teeth removed? did i mention that i'm deathy afraid of dry socket? [more inside]
posted by defmute on Oct 8, 2006 - 17 answers

why should i have my wisdom teeth removed?

is it important to have your wisdom teeth removed? why? they really don't bother me at all.
posted by brandz on Jul 30, 2006 - 43 answers

Who else writes the kind of essays that David Foster Wallace writes?

I really like the essays that David Foster Wallace collects in _A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again_ and _Consider the Lobster_. Which essayists take a similar approach? [more inside]
posted by scarylarry on Jul 28, 2006 - 12 answers

Wisdom teeth coming out. Can I save money by getting dental insurance?

So I need my wisdom teeth out, asap, and I've been quoted $1500. Can I save money by getting dental insurance? [more inside]
posted by sdis on Apr 11, 2006 - 26 answers

True, Useful and Kind

Help me source a bit of wisdom about advice and criticism. [more inside]
posted by anglophiliated on Dec 2, 2005 - 5 answers

Two states side by side, with amoxycilin 3 times per day in peace and security until finished.

How long must I abstain from exercise after a tooth extraction? [more inside]
posted by rschram on Nov 17, 2005 - 8 answers

Wisdom Teeth Questions

ToothFilter: I just had 4 wisdom teeth removed today and I have few questtions. [more inside]
posted by AMWKE on Oct 26, 2005 - 28 answers

Extracting Wisdom

Extracting Wisdom: I've been putting it dodging it for years, but it's looking (and feeling) like I'm going to have to get my wisdom teeth pulled. I do have insurance, but I have to go to a specific provider - a provider I've never actually been to before. Any advice on questions I should ask or things I should look for? Is one oral surgeon as good as another or should I shop around and/or pay extra if needed?
posted by aladfar on Jun 7, 2004 - 24 answers

Are 32-bit computers worth it anymore?

Would I be crazy to plop down money on a 32-bit mobo & processor when 64-bit are now available? (More inside) [more inside]
posted by RavinDave on Apr 9, 2004 - 12 answers

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