Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with wills

How much should estate planning cost?

Admiral Haddock — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:49:34 -0800

What would you expect to pay a lawyer for a suite of estate planning/healthcare documents that are more or less standard forms (i.e., no complicated trusts, just everything going to the other spouse)? I'm in Boston, but data points from comparably priced areas are welcome. Also, are there documents I'm forgetting in the list inside? My wife and I are looking to execute simple wills that should effectively be LegalZoom-level complexity, but we will have a lawyer work on them for us. We'll also need durable powers of attorney, healthcare proxies/living will/advanced medical directive etc. (We're in MA, but I'm not sure what legal mechanisms we'll need in this jurisdiction.) Of course, our lawyer will be able to advise us, but I'd like to go in with an idea of all the documents I'll want.

What should we expect to pay for the entire suite of documents? We do not expect (or want) complicated documents--all assets will go to the other spouse or a TBD contingent beneficiary (either individual or charity), no kids, no house, spouse will have the (broadly defined) healthcare proxy rights, etc. We definitely still have blanks to fill in, but we are not looking to set up GRATs or QTIPs or do fancy planning. We are well, well, below the estate tax threshold.

For the record, I know you are not my attorney and any responses you give are not legal/tax/financial advice. IAAL, and will engage a lawyer for our needs.

I'd prefer water: How can I sever the ties of next of kinship?

sweltering — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 00:30:21 -0800

My family are terrible. I've recently, with the help of therapy and mortality staring me down, finally cut ties to their toxic presence. How can I make sure that they're never legally or otherwise involved in my life again? In the US, married, very ill. My family denies that I'm legitimately disabled (while also believing that I should not be treated for my pain). On a feeding tube and in a power wheelchair, I've finally lost patience and cut them off -- I need to focus on getting better (or, more accurately, not getting worse) full time right now. I have a living will and durable power of attorney that designates my husband as the person to make medical decisions for me (with a friend named second if my husband is not available). My husband is also the executor of my will (though I have little in the way of assets). All these say in no uncertain terms that my family is never to be notified or to make decisions on my behalf. I used Rocket Lawyer to make them.

Have I missed anything, in legally separating myself from anything where next of kinship might leave my family able to be notified of my location, condition or (worst) to make decisions about me? What if both my husband and the friend were unable to make decisions for me (the hypothetical car accident we all get into together)? What options might exist beyond the cobbled together Power of Attorney + Living Will + Will (is adult adoption still done)? Is the Rocket Lawyer documentation enough? What pitfalls could I encounter just using those documents? I live in Washington (state).

If I need to see a lawyer, what sort of lawyer do I need to see? YANML, of course.

Which jurisdictions have databases of powers of attorney documents?

modernnomad — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 09:13:16 -0800

Which jurisdictions have databases of powers of attorney documents? In Arizona, for instance, there is a voluntary public directory of powers of attorney documents. Where else are there similar databases (both American and non-American)? Bonus points if you can point to the relevant authorizing legislation.

One of these citizenships is not like the other...

Madamina — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 08:13:37 -0800

My friend, a dual Canadian/American citizen living in the UK, is discussing the terms of a trust with her (US) father. By the time she inherits, she may have given up US citizenship. Does this need to be mentioned so they can account for it now? Added info, from her:
--I'm pretty sure the letter I get every year says that it's an irrevocable trust, so I'm not sure the trust can be rewritten.
--Dr. Internet is being unhelpful to me: it's telling me a lot about what happens if a non-US citizen spouse inherits, but children have different legal standing.
--I would keep Canadian citizenship.
--If me being a non-US citizen would be a huge PITA, then I'd much prefer he just rewrite the trust so it all goes to my sister.

Thanks (on behalf of both of us)!

Milwaukee Estate Lawyering and Maid Service, Inc.

gerryblog — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 17:03:41 -0800

A few recommendations needed for a new resident of Milwaukee. (1) Our baby is still very new, and we are still very tired, so I think I'd like to continue having our house professionally cleaned for a bit longer (previously). Any recommendations for a good, cheap, green cleaner serving the Bay View area? I was very happy with the all-natural cleaner recommended in the previous question.

(2) Also, given the new baby, I need to visit a local estate lawyer to draft up a simple will. (Given some very slight but significant wrinkles I don't want to do this on my own.) Any recommendations?

(3) Where can I get a good rundown on the schools in the area, especially MPS if we decide we want to stay in Bay View permanently?

Thanks in advance!

Do we lawyer up?

Anonymous — Thu, 24 May 2012 15:59:11 -0800

Do we need a lawyer to deal with a small probate estate case in Illinois? My father passed away in California 2 weeks ago. He had been living there with family off and on for the last 5 months while undergoing cancer treatment. He died unexpectedly and we're now trying to sort out his estate.

He lived in Illinois. He had a simple will that names beneficiaries and one of his daughters as executrix of the estate. He didn't have much in the way of assets: he rented an apartment, his car was a pile of junk and most of his belongings are of sentimental value only. His had a checking account of <$15,000) and his wife (my mom) is listed as a co-signer on the account. She is using that to pay outstanding bills and settle any accounts. There was a trust set up by my parents but he never assigned any assets to it so it's empty as far as his estate is concerned.

We've discovered that he had an online trading account valued at about $2,000 but didn't name a beneficiary on the account so the account holder says the only way to liquidate the account is by opening a probate estate with the courts or filing a small estate affidavit. One of the two would need to be done to allow the executor to have control of his account.

However, we're not sure it's worth pursuing if the cost of filing all the paperwork and hiring a lawyer might be more than the account is worth. Additionally, none of us wants to hassle too much with lawyers and paperwork if it's not worthwhile. We'll be going out to his apartment in the next few weeks to clean it up and see if there are any other financial surprises but my dad was a pretty simple guy. The goal here is not financial gain for his family but to make sure everything is tied up and his (unwritten) wishes are carried out.

Can we handle this ourselves or should we get a lawyer to do it or is it a small enough amount that getting a lawyer isn't worth it? For what it's worth, there is no difficult family dynamic and I don't expect any disagreements with how to move forward.

What do I need to do to prepare for my own death?

Anonymous — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:59:12 -0800

What do I need to do to make sure all my affairs are in order in case I die? I have no kids and don't own property. I have a medical condition that could cause sudden death or incapacitation. There is no cure and treatment is iffy. As such, I need to make sure my affairs are in order. I'm starting from scratch; I don't have a will or anything.

- I'm a woman married to a man; we have no kids and aren't planning on any (I can't conceive so no accidents are possible).
- I'm in my 30s.
- We don't own anything except an 8 year old car in my name that's probably worth $6000. The next most valuable thing is my wedding ring, probably $2000.
- We have a significant amount of debt, but it should be paid off in 2013.
- We would like to buy a house after the debt is paid off.
- We have four pets.
- I have about $30K in life insurance through work; I imagine it makes sense to increase it. Can I take out a policy without my spouse knowing? (He will be the beneficiary.)
- On that note, I want everything to go to my spouse unless we win the lottery or something before I die.
- I really, honestly, don't care what's done with my body or at my funeral. I would like my family to take care of it in whatever way makes them feel better, even if it's a big Jesusy thing (I'm an atheist).

I would rather do this myself and not involve a lawyer. It seems pretty simple, I just don't know what to do.

Will contest in Normam, OK

parrot_person — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:23:53 -0800

My friend wants to contest his mother's will. Recommendations to a good estate/wills/probate lawyer in the Norman, OK area? A friend of mine wants to contest his mother's will.

She had three typed, notarized versions of her will, changed over the years, filed with a lawyer. Then there is also a "holographic" portion that was supposedly done in her handwriting, four months before she died of cancer, and simply tacked on to the end of one of the written wills. Not notarized. Not filed with a lawyer but simply produced by her youngest son.

My friend believes that his brother, who was caring for their mother, influenced her to make this will and that she wasn't competent at the time. Frankly, after looking at it, I find it possible that the will is even forged, as it does not look like her handwriting (though I realize she was ill at the time). It contains mixed cursive and print, and misspells words (in one case twice) that she normally didn't misspell. Everyone who has seen it has spontaneously questioned its validity.

My friend got a lawyer via personal referral (apparently not by referral from someone who has used his professional services), but he doesn't seem to be doing much, and doesn't respond to my friend's queries in a timely manner. The probate hearing is coming up on the 6th of February. My friend lives on the west coast and doesn't plan to travel to Norman to be at the court date, and he needs someone good (and communicative!) to advise and represent him.

My friend wants the "holographic" portion of the will thrown out and to revert to the previous version of the will (the last typed, notarized one). This would mean the one son would no longer get *everything* but rather would share the estate with his siblings.

Advice? recommendations?

What does it mean to be someone's legal guardian?

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 11:16:54 -0800

What questions should my partner and I ask my brother and sister-in-law before we agree to be named in their wills as the legal guardians of their young son, should anything happen to them? My brother and my sister-in-law have asked my partner and I if we would agree to be named in their wills as their son's legal guardians, should something happen to the both of them. They aren't pressuring us for an answer, and are giving us time to think about it.

I understand legal guardianship conceptually - we would agree to care for, love and raise our nephew as if he were our own son. However, I'm not at all familiar with any logistics or nitty-gritty, and I'm looking for ideas on what questions we should ask my brother and sister-in-law before we say yes, so that I can get a better idea of exactly what we'd be signing up for (hopefully to never be invoked, of course). I know they both have life insurance that would provide for their son, but I don't know anything about how that gets administered.

My inclination is of course to say yes, and we are both honoured to have been asked. On the flip side, we are also surprised to be asked, because I have another brother who is married with a small child, and my sister-in-law also has a sister with a small child. My partner and I have no children or parenting experience, so on the surface, we seem like the least qualified family members. We do plan to have children in the future, but not for a couple of years.

Some perhaps relevant details:
-we all live in Canada, in the same area; the rest of my immediate family also lives in town
-my brother and his wife are both in their 30s; their son is 10 months old and healthy
-I am 28 and my partner is 31; we are engaged and planning to get married next year
-I have a full-time and stable job with decent pay and good benefits; my fiancé is in school to be a teacher
-I have no debt; my fiancé has some student loan debt, but nothing too onerous
-we rent a 1 bedroom place

Hit me with your best advice. I have a very good relationship with my brother and sister-in-law; I think they would be receptive to frank and honest questions, and happy that we are treating the issue seriously.

How do wills work?

cincinnatus c — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 15:35:48 -0800

What is the standard way that divorced parents with new partners (who also have children) organise their wills? My mother is in a long-term relationship (20+ years) with, but not married to, a man who has a daughter. Together they own a house.

My girlfriend's father is also in a long-term relationship with a woman with several children, and the couple live in a house that they own together.

I imagine this setup is quite common nowadays.

How do people in such situations organise their wills? I know little about this side of life, but I'd imagine that married couples who only have children with each other would generally have wills leaving everything to the other half. Only when the second parent died would the children, by default, come into it.

I honestly think that if my mother were to die and her partner lived on for another 20 years or so, I wouldn't have much communication with him. He's a decent guy, but we don't have much to say to each other as it is. That being the case, would I get a call after those 20 years, when he did die, to tell me I had a share in a house? That would seem weird, but then again the opposite would seem weird.

NOTE: my mother is not likely to die any time soon, and if she did I'm not that bothered about owning a share in her house. I am not in dispute with anyone about this, and I don't anticipate being so. I am asking out of idle curiosity.

NOTE 2: I'm in the UK, if that matters in legal terms. But, again, note that I'm looking for pretty general answers based on standard practice. I'm not really excited about claiming any inheritance or anything, and based on lifestyle I'd be surprised if I outlived my mother. I'm just sort of curious about how these things work.

Intestacy testiness

Anonymous — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 08:03:28 -0800

My dad died intestate, in Indiana, in 2003. My mom took all of his estate. My dad died in Feb 2003 without a will. None of his kids- there are 5 of us- questioned the fact that Mom would take his estate since that's what I assumed happened intestate and never looked into it- it's not as if he died rich but I really have no idea how much he left behind. Since his death my mom sold their home, bought a new one sans mortgage, and has due to matters too sad and complicated to go through here, disowned two of my sisters (we're all adults, 50+, and this is insane). Anyway just today I learned that intestacy laws in Indiana give 50% to the spouse and 50% shared among surviving children. I had never heard a peep about this- and in fact my "bequest" from my dad entailed my mom allowing me to take two- TWO- books from his library.

Anyway nobody apparently ever questioned my mom's claim to 100% of my dad's estate, but now I want to, not only because it's the damn law but also because Mom wrote my sisters out of her will. But this isn't her property- not all of it- to begin with, at least not as I am understanding Indiana intestacy laws.

I know there might be some sort of statute of limitations in Indiana around intestacy but I can''t believe that everything just transferred to my mom with no process and that she really had no idea what we children were due.

So- any advice?

"We're giving it all to them, but don't worry, they have your best interests at heart!"

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 07:09:11 -0800

My aged parents are planning to cash in all their stocks and put them into an account in my two brothers' names to reduce the amount of money payable in fees to the government upon their demise. They have told me, more or less, not to worry, and not to doubt the good intentions of my siblings. How to respond to this? My aged mother recently informed me that, in order to reduce the estate administration (probate) fees payable to the government upon her and my father's demise, they were going to sell all their stocks (wherein their wealth is concentrated) now and put the money into a joint account in my brothers' names. These same brothers have been helping them put their financial affairs in order, while (for different reasons) my sister and I are out of the picture with regard to all this.

When my mother first told me of their plan (over the phone), I expressed some mixture of surprise and concern, and her response to that suggested that she hadn't considered that my brother(s) might not be entirely worthy of their absolute trust. An accountant friend I mentioned these developments to (who has seen his fair share of nasty estate battles!) encouraged me to speak with a lawyer promptly, which I did.

The lawyer (a specialist in estate law with fifty years of experience) said their idea was terrible and ALWAYS leads to problems later on. He recommended another way of leaving their money in which probate fees could be avoided (known in Canada as an inter vivos or living trust).

I reported back to my father by email with what the lawyer had said. He wrote back that they were aware of such trusts, and that I need not worry about the fact that I am thousands of miles away from my brothers, that they "have [my] best interests at heart," and that my parents are leaving clear instructions how the money should be distributed upon their demise.

While they may indeed have faith in the good intentions of my brothers, it is no secret to anyone who has had the misfortune to hear more than a dozen tales of inheritance that the road to estate separation hell is paved with good intentions (especially when the legal foundation for those good intentions is weak or entirely missing).

I should emphasize that I am not stating that I believe they will not distribute the estate according to my parents' wishes. Structurally, however, the situation is leaving me (and my sister) entirely at the whim of their willingness to operate according to the highest ethical standard. I already have evidence, however, that such is not the manner of operation I can look forward to. (This "evidence," however, was clearly not taken as a sign of any failing of character when I pointed it out to my mother.) I might also mention that I have have exceedingly limited communication with my siblings in the decades since we lived together as children. We are also separated, as I mentioned, by thousands of miles, and i have only returned for visits to their area twice, since I moved away many many years ago. We cannot be called close or tightly-knit by any stretch of the imagination.

Another odd thing, from my point of view, is the fact that this is all being done to avoid paying what amounts to 1.5% of the value of the estate. That's $15,000 on $1,000,000. Not, in my estimation, a sum worth sowing the seeds of future sibling discord over. But my parents seem determined to refuse to even consider the possibility that there could be a negative outcome (for me, and, possibly, my sister) here. Which leads me to wonder if something else is going on here that is not being expressed verbally or directly (and of which my parents may not even be fully aware on a conscious level themselves).

I don't know if, at this point, I could provide even a mountain of evidence that their plan is misguided and have it be accepted by them as input worth considering (but then, I am the youngest and have never been taken seriously anyway...). But I am nonetheless interested in hearing the stories of others who have been in a similar situation, or from those of you who may have something to offer in the way of a more effective response to all this than my present one of just letting them all carry on in the direction they seem to be going with no interference from me.

Thank you for reading, and looking forward to your comments!

Sibling money disparity stuff

zenpop — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 12:25:12 -0800

How to best reach an agreement on a fair settlement percentage after the sale of our family home? My brother put our family home on the market last month. It sold for a decent price. After paying off some debts related to the second mortgage, and setting up a trust for his mother (my stepmother) there is about 200,000 dollars remaining.

He called me last night to inform me that the property had sold and that he'd be sending me a check for $20,000. As he is the executor of the will and the house, and I believe was given power of attorney by his mom, this news was delivered to me as a 'done deal.'

I balked and explained that I felt I should receive a higher pay out. We both shared the same father, it was his house, we both lived there growing up together as kids, as the eldest I helped raise him and protect him for the general insanity of two alcoholic parents, etc.

His rational for taking more is that he helped care form my father for years, towards the end of my dad's, and also dealt with other complicated issues over the years regarding his mother and risks to the house, etc. All of which are true. He also has two children and a wife; whereas I'm a gay man without children and living alone (this later statement is a projection on my part, meaning, I feel this is the way he experiences my life and life choices, etc. as being less involved and complicated as his [not true though])

I said, yes, you definitely deserve more money in this settlement, but I don't deserve so little. We came to an agreement to think about this some more during the week. And now we are scheduled to talk again on Sunday.

Any suggestions as to a psychological strategy to adopt for procuring a higher percentage of the 200,000 thousand? I'd be happy with 25%.

If worse case scenario was to develop, would bringing an attorney in to the mix do anything in my favor? I loathe that notion but also feel like it might snap things into focus better. I hate shit like this. But there it is.

Thanks.

Thanks.

How to deal with a dead relatives property

gally99 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 11:09:07 -0800

My estranged uncle died and we're trying to figure out how to go about getting into his home and collecting/transferring property. The catch: multiple legal name changes and several aliases. My uncle recently died. He owned his home. When he died he did not have any keys with him. We haven't been able to find any hidden keys around his house.
Also, he legally changed his name at least once, and used several aliases before and after the legal changes. We don't know yet if firearm or vehicle registrations were done with a legal name or not.
He did not have a will.
He was in Nevada, we are in California.
1. How do we get into his home? Without kicking in a door.
2. How do we deal with registration on motor vehicles?
3. What do we do with guns? Assume that some are legal to own and some are not, and that we would like to take possession of the legal ones.

Thanks in advance.

Lawyer now or later?

shino-boy — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 17:41:13 -0800

Uncle has passed - when do we lawyer up? My uncle recently passed away, he lived in Alaska. My mother is flying there next week to get his affairs in order, she's pretty sure he didn't have a will or living trust. My uncle was not married and has one daughter who lives in another country, and they had been estranged for many years

*I* think my mother should contact an Alaskan probate attorney right away (before she even leaves) to try and figure out what needs to happen with my uncle's small estate.

My mother wants to hold off with the lawyering until she gets to Alaska and checks out my uncle's situation - by getting the keys to his house and seeing if he did indeed file a will or other legal documents.

I'm a little worried because I'm not sure, even if the funeral home does release my uncle's house keys to my mother, that she can even legally enter his house.

So, when's the best time to get an attorney involved?

Writing a will in D.C.

ryanshepard — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 12:52:24 -0800

Looking for recommendations for a competent lawyer to help me create a will in Washington, D.C. I don't need any help w/estate planning - just a simple, binding, legally thorough will that will minimize the hassle for my heirs, if it comes to that.

I'd prefer to work w/someone who has an office in town, vs. MD/NOVA.

New York State Law: Why would a self-proving affidavit be rejected by the probate court, and what can be done about it?

ljshapiro — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 09:22:44 -0800

My father passed away in February, and left a very simple will - a 50/50 split between my sister and myself. His estate is very small, so we are trying to keep legal fees down as much as possible. The will and supporting documentation have been submitted to the NY probate court. One of the probate clerks is objecting to an irregularity in the self proving affidavit that's holding up the whole process. (The will itself seems to be sound.) Somehow this affidavit was screwed up by the notary. The will was witnessed and notarized in a drug store in central Manhattan that doesn't exist any longer, so the witnesses and notary public were all strangers and have since scattered. I've been told by my cousin (who is the executor of my father's estate, or will be as soon as the court formally appoints him) that our lawyer needs to track down the witnesses himself and get them to sign a valid affidavit to "prove" the will. So far, he has found a single witness but has not yet succeeded in getting her to comply with his request.

(I don't know what specific problem with the self proving affidavit. I have asked the question and hope for an answer soon.)

This all sounds expensive in terms of legal fees, etc. and I'm not completely sure that our lawyer is giving us the best advice. Is there a way to challenge the clerk's assessment of the affidavit? Are there other avenues that would be cheaper and/or faster than hiring private detectives and issuing summons to make the witnesses sign a new affidavit to get this very simple will through the court so that the the estate can be settled? What responsibility does the notary have in all this, since his/her error is costing us time and money?

I'm in California and all this is happening in New York, so I can't easily go around tracking down these witnesses and personally asking them to sign a new affidavit.

How can I choose the best option for my kid?

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 06:14:17 -0800

In the event of our untimely demise, to whom shall we leave the children? New baby in the house and my SO and I are struggling to come up with a suitable family or person who we might stipulate in a will guardianship for our child. Of the family options, the maternal grandmother is in her late 60s and on her own. We don't like her politics but she would be a loving caregiver... but it seems cruel to put our kid through loss of parents plus grandparent in possibly short order.

Maternal uncles are both irresponsible in different ways and single.

Paternal parents have potential but the grandmother on that side is in very poor health and prone to rages. Paternal sister and her family (husband, two kids) are the most obvious choice. We know that she and her family would love our child and care well for her but we have misgivings. We think his family is a bunch of lunatics (he's the cream of the crop) and they have deep religious convictions counter to ours and she likes a very "traditional" relationship where girls are the weaker sex and need to be taken care of (despite the fact that she is the smarter and more capable person in their two-some). They both smoke and he appears to be developing an alcohol (and maybe pot) problem. I just cannot imagine my daughter growing up in that household.

So, that leaves us with friends. And I wish I could say we were so close with another couple that there was an obvious choice out there but there's not.

Do you have a will that stipulated guardianship? If it was difficult to choose, how did you choose? Are you the guardian for a friend's kids -- do you take that thought seriously?

Anyone know how likely it is that a friend of ours would be granted guardianship anyway when it is most likely that if we did that, the family would fight for guardianship of our kid?

Bleak House?

fifilaru — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:55:43 -0800

Living trust, probate, ack, what does this all mean? My mother has named me and my brother as beneficiaries of her estate. Her assets (which really only include a mortgaged house) are in a living trust, my brother and I are the beneficiaries.

There is another sibling, who is not a beneficiary. This other sibling is yelling about going to probate and contesting the will if she is left out. I do not know the contents of the will. All I know is that I will be the executor of the estate.

My understanding is that as long as a will states how the assets are divided and there is a living trust, the estate will not go into probate, nor will there be grounds for contesting. Am I correct?

I think this is all ghoulish since my mother is still alive. Recent circumstances have prompted my brother to ask me about this, and I really did not have an answer. I am not interested in the estate nor am I interested in contacting an attorney at this time.

Can anyone give me an idea as to what to expect?

artificial insemination after death?

Anonymous — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:27:00 -0800

Is it legally and medically possible to set up something in a living will so that the surviving spouse can harvest eggs/sperm from the comatose spouse in order to (potentially) produce a child later? Plus bonus living will questions inside. (Anonymous due to the personal nature of the question.)

My husband and I are setting up wills and medical directives. If he dies or is injured to the point of being in a coma, etc., he would like me to be able to get sperm from him in order to try to artificially inseminate myself someday, and vice versa, if I am injured/killed, I would like him to have the option of getting eggs from me. Is that possible? If it is, is there a term for this or standard legal language? We don't know how to broach the subject with our attorney without sounding like weirdos or idiots (which I know is silly, but it's true).

In case it's relevant, we are both in our 30s and do not have any children yet. We are in the state of Mississippi, but we won't be here forever so are looking for universal (or at least all-USA) information. I'd appreciate answers relevant to the legal and medical aspects as opposed to opinions/judgments about whether it would be wise to produce a child with a dead person's DNA. We already know we would at least like to have that option available.

The bonus questions: first, about selecting a primary care physician to be named on the medical directive. We do not have a primary doctor, nor do we expect to have one any time soon (we have no health insurance). How big an issue is this in setting up medical directives? Is there a way around it?

Two: Without insurance, how totally screwed would we be if one of us ended up in a coma/vegetative state and wanted to be kept alive?

Thanks so much for your help, and please feel free to use askmefimedicaldirective@gmail.com. I hope I've included all the needed info, but if not, please email.

Is a site like legalzoom okay for doing an irrevocable living trust?

randomkeystrike — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 19:20:35 -0800

Is a site like legalzoom okay for doing an irrevocable living trust, or is that an insane idea? My parents are interested in setting up an irrevocable trust and an LLC to protect their interests (and their children's interests) in some commercial property. My instinct is that this is definitely a job for an attorney. My dad wonders if legalzoom, which he has used for simple legal documents, would be adequate. I checked legalzoom and they offer living trusts, but I'm not sure they're irrevocable. Bonus question - does $2,500 sound like a reasonable fee for doing one? That's one attorney's offer.

How can I find out what my great-aunt's will says?

Monday — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:51:36 -0800

How can I find out what my great-aunt's will says? My great aunt died recently. Her last living relatives were her two nieces; one of them is my mom. The other niece won't talk to me or my mother. I think the aunt left everything to the other niece, but I would like to read the will to make sure. How can I find out what her will says? She was a resident of North Carolina.

Where's Waldo?

ryecatcher — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:00:25 -0800

Waldo is named as an inheritor in Billy's will. But no one has any contact information for Waldo. What happens? I know you are not Billy's lawyer.

Thanks everyone!

The Care of Our Child is Left to . . .

zizzle — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 10:33:28 -0800

What is a reasonable cost for setting up a will? We have no major assets. Just your standard checking and savings accounts with little to no money in them. I have some savings bonds that haven't matured yet, and I think my husband has a small stock or two with dividends of less than $1. So basically, we just want to set up a, "Here's where our son should go and how he should be cared for. If those people are unable or unwilling to do so, he should go with these people. Appropriate numbers and addresses" type will. It really doesn't seem like it should be all that involved, but I am not a lawyer. Yes, neither are you, likely.

I've called around to a couple of agencies and even solo practitioners, and the cost I'm being quoted is something like $300 - $500 for the consultation and upwards of $400/hour for preparing the letter. It seems crazy to me to spend $1000 on this. It makes sense if we had a bunch of stocks, bonds, and other major assets that may require greater understanding or handling, but we don't. I was told these prices even after I explained what we were looking for.

We thought we might be able to just write up our wishes, make copies, have all the copies notarized and give a copy to the appropriate people to hang on to. But it seems on further reading this wouldn't necessarily hold up in court as well as a lawyer done will should our relatives decide to get all crazy and contest it.

So it seems that we may, in fact, need a lawyer, but do we really need to pay $1000 for one? I think we could reasonably afford about $600 overall and that might be pushing it. I mean, mostly we really want something legally in place for what should happen to our son and the people who we asked to take him and people we asked to him in the event those people can't are all on board and understand their roles and position in this. So given that we pretty much have everything set up to have a will made, how much is reasonable to pay?

And I've asked friends for references. I've looked at the find-a-lawyer wiki for the low cost section, and I can't seem to locate either legal aid or a law school clinic in the area that deal with estate planning.

(Bonus points if you can refer me to a reasonably cost T&E lawyer in the Greater Boston area.)

My Mom won't be around forever... preparation help.

Swede78 — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:18:17 -0800

My mom was diagnosed with Small-Cell Lung Cancer about a month ago. Her prognosis is not so good... her doctor is estimating one to two years with chemo. Last night, my mom and siblings got together to discuss her wishes, wills, money, etc. Unfortunately, there are still issues that were left unresolved. In fact, I feel like we left with more questions than answers. The biggest issue that she's having a hard time deciding is what to do with her money. She was working full-time up until a few months ago when she was laid off. Work has been immensly stressful for her for the past several years. I tried many many times to get her to find something else or just stop working so much. But, she's very stubborn, and just doesn't think of herself first. I believe the stress caused the cancer, because she's not even a smoker. Anyway, my point is that she has very little income now, but managed to build up a small savings. She was contemplating using most of the money to pay into her mortgage so that she can stop paying PMI. Another reason is that she believes that by not having that money in her bank account will allow her to qualify for assistance. This is where we're kind of unsure of how it really works. I can't imagine such a loophole would exist. My siblings and I believe she should hang on to the money and use it to make her life as comfortable and stress-free as possible. But, I can understand that she wouldn't want it all sucked away by medical bills either. She isn't rich, and neither is the rest of our family, so we want to make the best financial decisions possible. I'm not sure who we can ask about this without making it obvious that we're looking for a loophole. Let me stress that she's not looking to commit fraud here, but just a way to maximize her benefits in a legal way.

So, some questions I have...

1) Should she hang on to her savings to use for living expenses, or use it to pay mortgage and remove PMI monthly payments, and possibly allow her to qualify for assistance? My thinking here is that cash is king, so hang on to it. But, would like some opinions.

2) She wishes to be cremated, and does not want a big funeral service. (She has very few friends around and only immediate family). What costs should we budget for or expect from a cremation and maybe a small funeral service?

3) Since she wants to live in her current home, what's the best way to deal with selling it? We don't know exactly how long she has, and even if we did, we don't know how fast her house would sell. My first thought is to deal with it after she passes away, so that she can be as comfortable as possible. But, not only does she worry about the burden of us selling it, but I have to admit that it worries me too in this economy. I certainly can't afford two mortgages and either can my siblings.

4) More specific to her type of cancer, what can I expect her quality of life after chemo and in the end? I assume that after her chemo (I believe 6 months of it), that she will begin to regain strength and will have a more or less normal life. But, I know the cancer will eventually catch up with her. What happens then? Is it sudden? Is it months of pain and suffering? Will she need 24/7 care? What will she not be able to do on her own?

5) I was thinking that we'd use a website like legal zoom to handle a will and living will. I hope that she can avoid paying a lawyer $400/hr for this and any other advice that we can find elsewhere. Is it a bad idea to not involve a lawyer?

6) Also, maybe a dumb question, but why can't they simply continue chemo when it does eventually come back?