Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with weddings

Marriage gifts for coworkers in India

hackwolf — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:31:37 -0800

Help me find excellent wedding gifts for my coworkers in India! Both of the guys that I work with in India are getting married next week, and I just found out about it. I live in the US, so obviously I can't attend, but I'd like to get them each something nice for their wedding and as a thank-you for a year of hard work on this project. I'd like to keep it around $100-150 USD per person if possible, but they don't have wedding registries and I'm culturally clueless (even about my own culture).

I've been working with both of them for about 9 months now, but we've only met face-to-face once and I don't really know that much about them other than they're nice enough to chat with in the company canteen, so I don't know of anything really personal that I could get them. I'd be happy to give them cash, but I'm not sure how that would be taken, and if $100 would be seen as too stingy or too generous as a personal gift. We're all employees of HugeComputerCompany that has an employee discount store, so there isn't much in the way of consumer electronics they can't get for themselves cheaply. If it helps, one of the guys is local to Bangalore, the other is from up north (though I can't remember exactly where); one is an arranged marriage and the other is a love marriage. Also, I'm not their manager, but I am the technical lead on the project they're working on.

Master of my fate, but not of my baby shower?

mynameismandab — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:23:57 -0800

ETIQUETTE FILTER: Why is it taboo for an expectant mother to publicize her own baby shower? I'm not good with social graces, so someone please explain to me why it's okay to publicize/send out invitations to your own wedding, but "tacky" to publicize/send out invitations to your own baby shower?

Both events are celebrations of significant life events. Both are traditionally hosted by a third party external to the celebrants (although nowadays both may be paid for by the celebrants themselves). Neither carry an expectation of a gift--in neither celebration is a gift required for admission. OR conversely, BOTH carry an expectation of a gift--there are registries for both events at just about every major retailer in the country.

I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant with my baby boy, and eager to celebrate with my friends. As soon as I told her the news, my good friend T asked if she could throw me a baby shower.

In order for T to know where to send the invitations, I had to get addresses from people, so they knew an invitation was forthcoming. My hostess also created an event page on Facebook, but needed me to actually be an administrator in order for my friends to receive the facebook invitation. So on the event page, I actually had to send facebook invitations to my own shower.

My husband and I paid for our own modest wedding at a time when it was nearly financially devastating for us to do so. We sent out our own invitations and didn't have a registry (we could have used cash, but never made that known to our guests). NOW we are financially stable and don't need people to buy our baby supplies for us. We just wanted to commemorate the birth of our first child together.

However, we acknowledge that not everyone can afford the expensive but necessary items (travel system, breast pump, diapers, etc.) all by themselves and can benefit from the kindness of their friends and family for items like clothes, bibs, and blankets. Isn't that why people create registries in the first place--how else do their friends and family know what they will need?

People can invite people to their own weddings and include registry information. But people cannot invite people to their own baby showers, and invitations Certainly are not supposed to include registry information. But when my friends have these kinds of major life events, I want to know exactly what kinds of things my friends are needing. A published registry would help me buy useful, appreciated gifts for them.

Both weddings and babies can be expensive and the celebrants of both could benefit from the generosity of their guests. So what gives? Why the weird double standard?

Also, what if no one offers to give a shower for a mom-to-be? Why is it tacky for an expectant mom to invite people to an event to share in the joy of her upcoming new arrival? Especially if the mother-to-be is in financial need?

Help me not fail as a maid of honor.

toomuchkatherine — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:57:03 -0800

Help me not epically fail as my sister's maid of honor. My younger sister is getting married! She asked me to be her maid of honor, which is sweet. (She'll be 28 at the time of the wedding, next October; I'm 3 years older.) I've been to a handful of weddings but am not married and have never been in a bridal party before. So my question is, what do I need to do as a maid of honor? I've never been into or great at 'girly' stuff, so I'm approaching this with some trepidation...

On one hand, I just don't know what a maid of honor is supposed to do, beyond planning a bachelorette party and helping keep the bride calm and happy on the day of the wedding. I'm prepared to help with wedding plans as requested, but is there something I'm supposed to be proactive about? Is the bachelorette party supposed to be a surprise? What the heck is a bridal shower?

My sister doesn't drink at all, though she doesn't mind other people drinking. The bachelorette party won't be dry, but she's probably not down for an out-all-night, penis-shaped-cakes type bash. We also live in different cities, as do all of the bridesmaids. It seems crazy to have people fly into my sister's town once for a bachelorette party and then again for the wedding -- or is that kind of expected? The wedding is 11 months away...when should I kick into maid-of-honor high gear?

Any and all tips appreciated. I think my biggest fear is that I just won't do something I'm supposed to do, or won't get excited about something I'm supposed to be excited about (shopping for wedding dresses? choosing flowers? sometimes I can't help but wonder if she should have picked somebody perkier for this job), and that I'll be forever remembered as basically a lame M.O.H.

Thank you.

Jersey wedding in the works!

Nutritionista — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 19:45:03 -0800

Help! We need an interesting wedding venue in NJ for spring or summer of 2010. The man and I are getting hitched! It's very exciting! However, now we're faced with finding a venue for our nuptials. Does anyone have any suggestions for a unique place for a reception in New Jersey? We're trying to find an budget-friendly, interesting, "out of the box" place to have both the reception and the ceremony. We've lived in Jersey all our lives, but we definitely need some assistance in this area. Here are some specifics:

Spring/summer of 2010
120 guests
Ceremony and reception in the same place
Semi-formal to casual vibe
Outdoor ceremony if possible, with a contingency plan if it rains

Forgive me if I've forgotten any important details - my head is a swimming right now. Our minds are wide open, so no idea is too strange. Thanks in advance for any help you can give us!

Should I just tell my parents to go to hell?

Anonymous — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:00:33 -0800

Should I just tell my parents to go to hell? I am looking for your opinion and possibly some words of encouragement.

I've been planning our (my fiance and my) destination wedding in Europe (Italy) for the last 4 months. It is happening next June. Our peer group, her family, and some of my extended family members are thrilled. My parents have been less than enthusiastic. I want to stress that they do love my fiance'. When I originally approached them about the idea, I was presented with a laundry list of "reasons" that it was a bad idea and why they didn't want to go. Most of those 'reasons' were very irrational and should have been easily to deal with. I sat them down and tried to address their fears as best as I could. I thought I did a good job, because they actually shifted their answer of 'no, we aren't going, to a 'we'll see'. In fact, my dad even approached me and my 2 siblings on the side and said that he actually wanted to go and that it was a good idea. He'd "try to turn my mom around". So, optimistically, I continued the planning, booked the venue, booked the honeymoon (which jumps off from this European city) and kept them in the loop the entire time. My updates were met with (what I perceived to be) enthusiasm. Yesterday, the situation with them really deteriorated.

They sat me down to talk and all of the "reasons" they had cited before were brought up again. Here they are to help you understand what I am dealing with. What they (mostly my mom) said is in quotes.

"We can't leave the animals alone." (even though we take care of our neighbors dogs all the time and they would no doubt do the same for us.)

"They don't speak English there." (even though, people do speak English there because the city is full of expats, tourists, and many Europeans KNOW ENGLISH!!!!!!!!)

"I don't ever want to leave the country, ever! You know that! I don't want to leave the United States. "

"It is too far." (an 8 hour flight compared to an 18 hour drive they make to Florida?)

"We aren't interested in that place."

"It is too extravagant, NO ONE else we know does this, EVERYONE we talk to thinks it is selfish and a bad idea, and we don't understand why you couldn't just have stayed home."
(That doesn't change the fact that I have already made the commitment to go, sorry your social circle is limited, because certainly not EVERYONE thinks that. They don;t understand why I can't have my wedding like they did in a local church and the reception in the basement or at the VFW.)

"That place is full of crime and we will get robbed by gypsies who target tourists."
(By that logic, we shouldn't ever leave the house.)

"Your {17 year old} sister can't go. Because she will probably get kidnapped."

"You know I can't sleep in hotel rooms. If I'm tired, I am going to ruin the wedding."

"Your dad only pulled you, your brother, and sister aside and told you all that he really wanted to go because he didn't want you to be mad at him." (Dad, is this true, even though you said you'd be willing to go, and that mom was wrong for not wanting to go, you don't really feel that way?). "Right, I don't want to go."

"I hope that you realize, that by doing this to us, you are changing our relationship forever". (Mom, when I started to suggest this to you before, you screamed at me that it was manipulation, and how dare me. Now you are saying it to me?) "Well, it's the truth."

"It is too expensive." (even though now I would pay for their housing and all they need to do is buy 3 plane tickets and bring spending money. They can, for a fact, afford this.)

"What do you expect us to do, not buy gas? Not buy food?" (Mom, you just offered me a wedding gift of X dollars. I would like you to use that money to come to my wedding.)
"Well, that's not the gift we want to give you." (Mom, shouldn't you give me the gift we want, instead of the gift you want to give?). "Well we're just not going."

.......with every reasoned, logical response of mine to the above garbage met with, "In your eyes." / "Well that's just your opinion." My head just about exploded.

I left. I then got point by point summary text messages from my younger sister about how my mom is calling members of my family to tell them what a horrible son I am, how I am leaving our family for 'her [my fiance] and her family' and how I don't care that no-one on my side can come to the wedding.

Bonus sidebar: Throughout my life, my mother has resorted to childish name-calling and/or retorts like "well that's just your opinion' when "arguing", so a lot of this isn't surprising. She has been on and off of antidepressants (currently off), and my dad doesn't have the guts to stand up to her - about anything. She has driven her siblings and her friends away with her behavior, so I am reassured that I am probably not being a horrible ungrateful child. I'm 27 and currently live with them (temporarily - moved back to save $) and am just about to buy a house and get the heck out. ASAP.

So some of the other my mom/dad/parents are horrible help me get over it threads have been helpful. I am having my wedding. It doesn't seem like my parents are going to come. For ridiculous reasons. How do you just let go?

Crafting a fun wedding gift

pised — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 07:37:26 -0800

Help us make a special and creative gift for a newly-married friend! A good friend of mine, who’s part of a small group of girls from high school, just got married this past weekend. The other girls and I didn’t go because it was a small family wedding in another city, but we’d like to show her and her new husband how happy we are for them and celebrate their marriage. We’ll get them a gift, but we’ve also been talking about doing something fun and creative for them. They’re both graphic designers, multimedia designers, photographers, very artistic people – so they’d be into something creative and unique. But what could we make?

There are three of us, plus our respective partners who we can coerce into helping us make something; we’re all relatively crafty. We’re four hours away by car from the newlyweds’ place so can’t hand-deliver it – it has to be something that could travel well if it’s portable. Electronic creative gifts would be great, but we have minimal skills in the Photoshop department. We thought about doing a crazy video but I’m a little terrified of becoming a YouTube superstar. My partner suggested a photobook with comic speech bubbles, which is a pretty good idea. I know AskMe can give us tons more options, though. Bring it!

Thanks!

Is it possible to have more-than-decent wedding music in the wilds of Northern New Hampshire?

soulbarn — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 09:43:06 -0800

Marriage in WAY northern New Hampshire (20 miles south of Canadian border - we're talking five hours from Boston.) Family is there, but we live on west coast. Great! Problem: music. We need a GOOD band and DJ. Save us from typical oldies/blues-rock/jazzy/swingy mish-mash. Doesn't have to be a typical wedding band, though it should be a group that can entertain a varied (grandparents, parents, friends, etc.) crowd. Maybe MeFiers from VT, Maine, or NH have suggestions? We don't want to spend a lot of $$$, but all suggestions, as well as creative (non-band) solutions, and off-list contacts, are welcome...

Are you expected to give a gift whether or not you attend a wedding?

otherwordlyglow — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 11:01:09 -0800

What percentage of people invited to a wedding would you expect to give a gift? We had a wedding in October. We sent out 82 invites and invited a total of 125 people (some invitations went to families/couples). We had about 90 people attend and received 39 gifts. I've always understood that you sent a gift whether you attended or not but is that not the case? I'm not ungrateful for the gifts we received, the experience, or for the fact that so many people attended. I'm NOT angling for additional gifts and know that we could still receive gifts from those invited. Additionally, I don't expect that every single person would give a gift - families generally give a gift together, etc. However, I am curious if this ratio of invitations to gifts is about the average.

The piece of paper that shows you care

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 14:24:51 -0800

I don't believe in marriage. Everyone around my partner and me is getting married and she's getting depressed. How can I show my girl I love her just as much as the guys in rental tuxedos love theirs? My partner and I have been together for ~three years, and living together for six months. I'm in my late 20s and have had enough experience to know that I've found something special. I love her tons and things are great.

I don't want to start a debate on marriage so I'll just say, without trying to justify it, that I don't believe in marriage and never want to get married. (No kids either.) I've always been up-front about this and she's been honest that she likes the idea of marriage but is willing to pass it up to be with me. Our understanding seemed strong and we didn't really talk about it much once the expectations were in place.

What neither of us anticipated was 90 per cent of our friends getting married within a 10-month period, or the emotional effect this would have on her. We've attended four weddings in the past six months, have two more scheduled for the next two months, and two upcoming but without specific dates set. Two of her friends are now pregnant as well as being newlywed.

Understandably, this is getting to her. One of my friends recently proposed to his girlfriend of six months (we're going to the wedding sometime next fall), and my partner tearfully told me how how it seemed so passionate, how there was a part of her that wished we had done that, etc. She acknowledges that I've been honest about what I wanted, but witnessing the parade down the aisle is obviously awakening some mourning in her.

How can I cheer this girl up? All advice is welcome, but I specifically would like to find memorable ways of communicating the following:

1. Not wanting to get married does not mean I love her any less than guys who do want to get married.

2. Being unmarried doesn't mean I have one foot out the door.

3. This is not a situation where if she was a better girlfriend I'd want to marry her and I'm only holding off because she sucks. (I think she has some lingering fear of this even though I told her early on that it's completely untrue.)

It's pretty much never a nice day for a white wedding...why?

sondrialiac — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 02:01:35 -0800

Weddings freak me out, why? Other people's weddings make me feel icky. Deeply uncomfortable. Think 2 girls 1 cup. Or a really effective horror movie.

I have, in fact, been married myself (quite successfully so far) and it didn't bother me in the least. I did avoid 99% of wedding traditions.

I have only attended one wedding, but I needed to get good and drunk beforehand. (I was getting shaky, sweating, thought I was going to puke, basically going nuts).

Married people don't bother me. The mention of marriage itself, as an institution, doesn't bother me. But just the mention of a wedding sets me off. Writing this question is uncomfortable.

I also hate it when people kiss. Watching people kiss is, to me, like watching people get their fingers hacked off. I am cool with kissing others whom I know well, although it's not my favorite activity.

Any guesses about why I have these reactions? Think they're related? Any suggestions for a cure?

How do you have a wedding when you're already married?

otherwordlyglow — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:31:19 -0800

Please help me make our upcoming 8-months-overdue wedding reception memorable and meaningful to those who weren't at our actual wedding. We had been planning an October 2008 wedding but I got pregnant (Oops and Yay!) and so we got officially married back in February 2008 at City Hall with just our parents present. Extended family and friends knew this was going on and we told them all we were still going ahead with a wedding-ish event for this October. Basically what we're planning now is a wedding reception. However, since so many of our dear friends and family weren't at our actual wedding but are traveling great distances to attend our "reception", we'd like to include some sort of ceremony that not only allows our guests to feel included but also be witness to our union in marriage.

We feel strongly that we already *are* married and don't want a recreation of our actual wedding or feel the need to get married again. We'd be up for some sort of re-telling of our vows but are there other things we can do?

Similarly, we won't be re-exchanging rings since it feels like that's already done and doing it over again somehow makes the original time less significant. Are there other rituals or readings or anything else we can do for our guests? There will be a maid of honor and best man who will hopefully act as officiants even though there's really nothing to officiate over.

I should stress that we're doing this not just so that our guests feel like they got their money's worth but also because my husband and I really do want to have our family and friends be part of experience. So how do you have a wedding without getting married?

I've got the collar. I've got the bible. I memorized that "speak now" bit. What else is there?

rileyray3000 — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:16:19 -0800

What's involved in my performing a wedding in Los Angeles? I need to perform a wedding in Los Angeles in October. I got a card that says I'm a reverend from World Christianship Ministries way back in pre-internet 1993 and it says I'm clear to perform weddings in most states. So what else do I need and what do I need to know or do? Do I have to apply for the license for the couple? Do I need to fill out any forms? Or is it just a "show up in a collar and sign this document" sort of thing?

Do you know an Irish love poem? One condition - no religion

ascullion — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:10:32 -0800

Can anyone recommend an Irish - or even Northern Irish - poem or extract, on the topic of love or romance, that would be suitable to be read out at a civil wedding (ie, no references to God or religion allowed) I'm getting married this summer and I've tried very hard to find something, but it's proved very difficult. Any advice appreciated!

Stag and Doe

sandraregina — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:51:05 -0800

Are stag and does/buck and does a soley Ontario thing? At my friends' stag and doe (also known as 'buck and doe') the other night, a group of us were talking with our friend from the US who came out. None of them could recall having a stag and doe or buck and doe 'back home'. They all came from a different state. Then someone from out east chimed in and said she hadn't recalled any stag and doe parties before she moved to Ontario.

Those of us who were local considered them as just one of the many pre-wedding parties and events that every couple goes through. Sure, some opt out, like my brother, but everyone knows at least one couple who had one to raise money for their wedding.

So, is it a local phenomenon? Ontario only? Canadian? A scattered thing around north america? Are there other types of 'wedding fundraiser' parties, just with different names?

I'm just curious.

I just want a simple, pretty wedding, goddamit.

Jess the Mess — Wed, 21 May 2008 01:13:11 -0800

Destination weddings for those of modest means? So my fiancé are trying to plan a wedding. We have less than 7K to spend on everything, including the honeymoon and it is quickly becoming clear to us that there is just no way we're going to be able to pull off the kind of wedding we'd like to have in Chicago. And most of our guests would have to travel anyway, so destination wedding it is.

I found this place and it looks ideal but unfortunately, you can only have 14 guests and we need to be able to invite a few more than that. Not a whole bunch more, just a few.

Does anyone know of any other all-inclusive wedding spots that are more charming than cheesy? We're not really into Vegas or Sandals or anything like that. It can be anywhere as long as its affordable.

Also is there any comprehensive online source for places like this? I've searched and searched and have come up with many bed and breakfasts that do weddings but you still have to do most of the planning yourself, which I would rather avoid.

Bridesmaid Dresses, Racket or Not?

Flying Squirrel — Tue, 20 May 2008 21:05:58 -0800

Bridesmaid dresses & alterations: legit or racket? I'm wondering if there is a legitimate reason for the amount of alterations that are routinely made on bridesmaid dresses.

I don't have an agenda, I'm just curious and haven't figured out a reason for this practice.

I've only been fitted once, it required a couple different alterations (it looked like it was ordered two sizes two big in the first place). My question at the time was, why can I go into a mall and find hundreds of dresses that fits me perfectly, yet need to be subject to alterations and multiple fittings as a bridesmaid?

Is it just a way for the dress shop to bring in extra money, or do these special tailored dresses really make a finer fit?

For the record, I'm about a size 4 or 5 and slim build. Any insight would be appreciated!

Nice park for a white wedding?

agentofselection — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:18:29 -0800

Anyone know a good park in the south bay (California) in which to get married? My partner and I want to get married this fall. We want to do it in a public park within about 20 miles of San Jose. (We want this because we want a nice outdoor area, and a fairly low price tag.) We want about 75 guests, a pretty outdoor area, and preferably an indoor/covered area to retreat for food and music. We're fairly recent arrivals and don't know all the parks in the area that well. The parks website basically says "we won't help you on the web, call us so we can make it special." We're hoping to have an idea of what park we want to reserve before we go to them, and rather than drive to every park we can find on google maps, checking them all out in person, I thought I'd ask if anyone has any suggestions for parks that we might want to look at.

Oh, and on a related note, anyone know a jeweler willing to do a little custom work in the same area?

Italian love-poem for wedding

chinston — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:15:44 -0800

Is anyone familiar with an Italian love-poem that would be beautiful and appropriate to read at a wedding ceremony (in Italian and then in English translation)? I (Mrs. Chinston) will be serving as a matron of honor for a good friend, and she has (somewhat incredibly) outsourced to me the task of finding a beautiful Italian love-poem to be read at the ceremony. She said she didn't want anything "too tortured." Not sure what that means. My first thought was Petrarch, but I haven't had much luck so far.

But anyway, if someone is intimately familiar with Italian poetry, or even with one very good (and not too tortured!) Italian love-poem, I would appreciate your help.

Help my engagement and wedding rings get along!

otherwordlyglow — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 13:56:06 -0800

Is there a name for the ring you wear between a mis-matched engagement ring and a wedding ring that serves to adapt the round form of one to the flat form of the other? Where do I get one? In San Francisco, preferably. Bonus if the jeweler specializes in vintage pieces. I have a beautiful vintage filigree engagement ring that looks something like this (well, mine is prettier!). My mother has generously offered her mother's wedding band as the complement to it. It looks more like this. So the two pieces won't stack flat against each other because the engagement ring has a bulge in the middle whereas the wedding band is flat. I know I've seen these sort of "adapter" rings before. They are worn between two rings and have one curved side, in the reverse of the curve of your own ring, and one flat side. This middle ring fills in the gaps between the two and makes the two sit together nicely. What is this called and where do I get one? I'm assuming there needs to be some degree of customization but I don't even know what to ask for.

Help Me Become An Official Officiant, Officially

scrump — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 16:35:05 -0800

Can someone out there help me become a ULC wedding officiant in Washington, DC? My sister is marrying in March, and has asked me to officiate. The thorny issue is that she's going to be marrying in Washington, DC, and the shortest path to official officiate-ness is to file this form (PDF) with the courts.

I'm a ULC minister, but what that form requires is an endorsement from a ULC minister who is already licensed to perform marriages in DC.

I'm really hoping that someone out in the wilds of MetaFilter is a) ordained in the ULC, b) already licensed to perform marriages in DC, and c) willing to provide an endorsement for me.

Email is in my profile, but MeMail is also fine. Thanks.

New York City outdoor weddings?

doraphilia — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 08:05:11 -0800

Any recs for a New York City outdoor wedding location that isn't hideously expensive and can hold 150-200 people? I'm going to be getting married next fall (we'll push it back if we can't find the right location 9 months in advance). We're both very untraditional and hate huge overblown weddings, but we both have big ethnic families and tons of close-knit friends so the size is somewhat unavoidable. We haven't even really started and planning it is already giving us a headache.

We'd like to get married somewhere (including ceremony and reception):

-with outdoor space
- in the 5 boroughs but not necessarily Manhattan- most likely Queens or Brooklyn
-a little untraditional and non-stuffy
-that can hold 150-200 people, even for the ceremony.
-not too expensive. I recognize this will cost money, but I want to keep costs down as much as possible.

For example, I really like Queens Botanical Gardens, but for their wedding garden ceremonies they can only hold 80 people.

Any recommendations? Thanks SO much for your help!

Also:
any advice on keeping the guest list small without hurting feelings?

Thank you!!

Beyond the wedding factory

otherwordlyglow — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 10:22:24 -0800

Help me escape the grasping tentacles of the billion dollar wedding industry: where does one view and inspect and maybe try on nontraditional wedding dresses? Looks like I'm getting married (yay!) but I don't want a poofy bedazzled lacy monstrosity of a dress. I'll probably have a dress made but I'd like to get some ideas for dresses and the websites I've looked at for ideas don't have nearly the specificity in searching that I'd like. They usually allow you to specify color, silhouette, and/or neckline but then I still end up with hundreds of ugly dresses to wade through. What I'd really love is a website that allows for excluding characteristics (for example, I don't want a strapless dress and I don't want a white dress through ivory is okay). And I don't want to have to tell the website anything about me since I don't want to get on any spam lists or mailing lists or receive any advances from the wedding industry. But I don't mind registering on a website as a totally fictitious person. I'd also like to go someplace to try on dresses but again, do not want to have to be hard sold on any aspect of wedding planning. I get the impression that once you're known as a prospective bride, the marketing campaign begins and I'd like to avoid all of that.

So, good websites to look at and search for interesting dress ideas and places to go in the San Francisco area that won't overwhelm me with wedding propaganda, please?

Cleveland wedding planner recommendations

jewzilla — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 10:14:14 -0800

Can you recommend a wedding planner in or near to Cleveland? We're getting married in about a year. We'd like someone else to do the heavy lifting for us. We live in California so we have to plan long distance, and we want to avoid the stress of making a million decisions and juggling a score of vendors ourselves.

Also, bonus points if you can recommend an irreligious venue.

I tried googling for this but it was a spam disaster.

Help make my wedding green!

changeling — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 19:31:31 -0800

How do I make my destination wedding enviro-friendly? We really want to have a destination wedding this March. It was recently brought to my attention that destination weddings leave turbo jet-sized carbon footprints.

Never thought of that. Now it's really bothering me. Besides having our guests donate to carbon offset projects in lieu of gifts, what are some other creative ways we can help lessen the impact of maybe twenty people flying from LAX to Central America? Please don't say "just have a wedding at home." I generally try to maintain an eco-friendly existence, but this is the event of my life.

Also, please no more commentary about the friendship ethics of a destination wedding -- we're having a reception back home for everyone that can't make it, and we love them just the same. No pressure, no guilt. Sheesh.

no, i can't spend $4,000 on your wedding

Anonymous — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 18:26:30 -0800

(Weddingfilter). Friend is having a "destination wedding" over 6,500 miles away. I can't afford to go. Friend thinks I should borrow money from my dad and go with him. I'm 27 years old, and don't really want to "borrow money from dad." She's more like a family friend, I see her on occasions, we've known each other moderately well in our cultural circle for a long time. The reason her and her fiance are having a wedding abroad is because many relatives live overseas, and it would be a pain in the butt to have them get visas and come to the US.

I'm estimating, the wedding will cost me at least $4,000 to go, including hotels, airfare, a $1,500 "wedding cruise" food, transport, etc. I'm a grad student. Can't afford that.

While it is somewhat normal to ask parents to help fund my going in our "culture" (which I tend to think is a bit bullshit), my dad is quite loony, and he tends to think he owns a little bit of you if you take his money. I don't really want to do that.

How do I, politely and respectfully tell her no, I can't borrow money and go. I don't want to go into my details/issues with my dad, but she seems to have trouble taking "I can't afford it" as an answer.