Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with weddinggift

You're wonderful, you're getting married, I got you....??

aka burlap — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:23:02 -0800

Another-gift-idea filter: Two wonderful people, getting married. I want to get them something they'll really appreciate. Stuck for ideas. Help? The couple are both in their mid/late twenties. They're both photojournalists, both pretty adventurous people. They want to make the world a better place, they're spiritual, that kind of thing. They both travel to exotic places on occasion. They're not very materialistic. I know the groom better, and he's artistic, musical, fun-loving and not very serious. From what I can tell, she's similar: they're both pulling faces in most of the pictures I've seen of the two of them.

They aren't registered anywhere, and I think the wedding will be pretty informal--they didn't even ask for RSVPs in the invitations. I get the feeling that smallish gifts will be more appropriate than, say, a fancy china set. I'm planning on writing and giving them a letter about why I think they're such great people and how happy I am to see them together, but I want to give them something else too. Any ideas? What gifts have you received/given/seen that were really neat? I'm torn between trying to think of something that'll have a lot of sentimental value and something eminently useful.

I know there are about a million gift-idea questions on here already. Sorry to add to the pile.

Thoughtful wedding gift ideas

alice ayres — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 07:09:16 -0800

What would make a good, thoughtful gift for this newlywed couple? My boyfriend's childhood friend decided to ditch the plans for a planned desitination wedding in favor of quickly getting married this past weekend in a very small ceremony (<30 people).

Because of the quick timing (think: hey, what are you doing tomorrow morning?), we were not able to get a gift. After having met the couple for the first time, we would like to get them something thoughtful. I know money could and would help out, but would prefer that be a last resort or an add-on.

About the couple:
Late 20's
He's an aspiring football coach.
She's in the first year of her residency. I think she will be an OB/GYN.
They were in a quasi long-distance relationship, and it will continue to be a long-distance marriage for at least the next 4 years. They will be in the same state (NY), but one will be in NYC, and the other in upstate NY.

I am open to any suggestions because I don't have much to go on either.

I got you this cosplay custome so you can wear it at the wedding.

jstarlee — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 10:17:00 -0800

[WeddingGiftFilter] Looking for a wedding gift for a friend of mine. Male and works in a hospital. A friend of mine is getting married in October. I've known him through a mutual good friend but consider him a decent friend as well. Since we live in different states we've only met each other a couple times - however we used to play the same online game everyday and would constantly talk to each other. I know he likes the sportscar Integra, Japanese anime (full metal alchemist) (but definitely not an otaku), plays guitar sometimes...and that's pretty much it! Oh and he's Asian!

I've thought about getting him something anime-related but figured that's too immaturish. I want to get him something that he can still look at in a few years and appreciate as much. Price range $50~$85 would be great.

Thank you for your help Hive Mind!

What's the difference between a 'wedding' and 'bridal' shower, and what gift do i bring?

lblair — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 11:58:14 -0800

Difference between "wedding shower" and "bridal shower" and what gift goes with what? (wedding gifts vs bridal shower gifts.) First of all, I apologize- I really thought this seemingly simple question would be something I could google, but the more I read the more confused I get. So please help me.

So I am going to a wedding soon as the date of a friend of the groom's. i know and like the bride but we've only met a few times, so we aren't best friends or anything. to my surprise, I got an invitation to the "Wedding Shower for [Bride and Groom]" addressed to just me (care of my date.) Upon googling, it seems that the only possible difference between wedding and bridal shower is whether or not the guys come- but it was only addressed to me. so is this a bridal shower? Also, inside the shower invite, it says where they are registered. Does this mean I should be bringing the wedding gift to the shower? (as opposed to 'bridal shower' gifts?) I just don't want to look like an ass by showing up with the wrong gift, or without one if i should have one, or with one if i shouldn't be bringing one (I thought wedding gifts were usually mailed, but if i am supposed to bring it to the shower, i certainly can.) should i be bringing a bridal shower gift and mailing a wedding gift later??

Thanks. Again, I'm surprised the internet wasn't able to help me much. Weddings are so damn complicated- I think if I ever decide to get married I better stick to eloping so I won't mess anything up. Also this is the first shower I've ever attended so any other helpful tidbits about etiquette or what to expect are welcome.

Can I buy the bride a pair of reality goggles?

mcbeth — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 01:02:42 -0800

What do you do when buying a gift for friends soon to be (re)married but think the happy pair are being selfish twits? A not-my-best-friend kind of gal pal friend is getting remarried this month (wedding #3 for her, #2 for him). Both have successful, lucrative careers, both are 50+ yrs old. They want for nothing. They're combining two households, one of which the bride has already combed through to removed any possible trace of her betrothed's ex-wife.

The bride is turning their upcoming nuptials into a three day affair (dinner and drinks Friday night, wedding Saturday, brunch on Sunday). I picked two of the three events to attend and thought 'hey cool, that's the end of the moral dilemnas!', but no, I just visited their bridal registry and went limp upon seeing the cost and general uselessness of most of their registry items.

They're not a young couple. They aren't just starting out. They both have grown children. They can, actually, afford to buy themselves everything listed on their gift registry while many of their wedding guests cannot.

I'm (trying to) like them and don't want to be a major crabapple but c'mon, all that? And do I really have to buy these selfish friends a(nother) gift? I want to be as gracious as possible but I'm not particularly excited about overextending myself for my slightly attention-whoreish pal. Would bringing one nice bottle of wine or something other simple inexpensive tasteful thing be considered declasse or rude?

All I was able to come up with by way of advice via google was at Idotaketwo.com which advised second-timers:

"And speaking of gifts, be sure to register. Even if you don’t want gifts, some guests who love you may still want to give you something and need guidance. It’s also perfectly appropriate for encore couples to register."

C'monnnnn!

Wedding Gifts

tastybrains — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:17:53 -0800

Please help me find something decent to get my sister & brother-in-law as a belated wedding gift. Just as a disclaimer - I have looked over lots of other wedding gift idea threads here. There are some good ideas, but none that really seemed right.

It's really hard to explain why I am having such a hard time finding them the right gift. It would be harder to do if I didn't explain that they have very East Coast expectations of weddings and wedding gifts. So, my budget of ~$150-200 is kind of pathetic compared to what they expect. In fact, normally I would love to give more, except that I catered to all of their previous expectations in terms of a lavish shower and bachelorette party, and spent a lot of money I don't have ALREADY. So, my budget might be a little small based on East Coast fancy wedding standards, but it's a lot to me right now.

I think if this was just any couple, or even just friends, I could find something and just buy it and not worry too much. But because this is my sister, I feel like it needs to be at least sorta good. But these days, I feel very alienated from my sister.

Here are ideas I've ruled out:

So, I can't give money, because (1) I don't like to give money unless I can cover the cost of my plate at the wedding [it's a NY / east coast thing, I think], and $150-200 doesn't cover that, and (2) I don't want to be too obvious about not spending a lot.

I can't give something off their registry, because everything has been purchased off of their registries. Literally, EVERYTHING. Except gift cards, but that presents the same problem as giving cash.

The other wedding gift idea I liked was one that was given to us -- a gift basket of wines to celebrate different milestones in our wedding. However, I already told my sister about this idea, and she's actually used it for wedding gifts for other people, so it wouldn't really seem very fun or creative at this point. Next time I'll keep my big mouth shut.

-----

In terms of what they do like -- I don't know what to tell you. My sister loves different kinds of food and wine, but my brother in law refuses to eat anything but hamburgers and chicken parm, and I don't even think he drinks anything but crappy beer. Their tastes clash so dramatically that I am afraid to give them anything artistic or decorative. They have a dog. That's all I've got.

What I do want is:

- Something I can purchase online.
- Something that can be delivered to NY/NJ
- Nothing to "weird" as that doesn't go over well with the groom

Thanks!

Yet again, using AskMe as a Personal Shopper.

anastasiav — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 19:32:17 -0800

Yet another use of AskMe as personal shopper - please help me select a wedding gift: The groom is a friend of mine with whom I have stayed close through correspondence but whom I've not seen in person in a couple of years. Bride and Groom are both [reform, fairly liberal] Jewish. Both love to cook, but groom has significant food "issues" that make gifts of food inappropriate. Groom has a pre-teen daughter from his first marriage. Both Bride and Groom have recently sold their houses and are combining households currently in a rented space, until they can find a new home to purchase together. I don't know the Bride at all, really, so I don't have a sense of what the "style" of their new home might be.

What I'm looking for: something small, but that could emphasize the blending of two families into one. $100 range.

Looking for wedding gift ideas for the groom.

TheDude — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 13:58:34 -0800

Looking for truly unique, male-centered wedding gift suggestions that would be of absolutely no use to the bride....sorry ladies ;) So one of my good friends whom I've known since the second grade is finally getting married. I'm an usher at the wedding and had originally planned to get them a nice gift - but then I had a change of heart.

I've looked through their gift registry and do not see one item there that would be something he chose; it's alllll her.

Seeing as how our culture seems to favor the woman in a wedding and everything is centered around the bride, I'd like to go against the grain.

So I'm looking for a gift that he is going to LOVE, but she will have absolutely no use for. I want her to know that I went out of my way to ensure the gift is for him - I guess you could call it my way of saying, "Welcome to the family!"

For background on my buddy, he's a total geek. Works for a very hip tech company and gets all his electronic toys expensed on the company dime. His room was full of Star Trek toys (in their original packaging) and Jenny McCarthy posters as a kid....

I'm looking to spend around $400.

So, what do you guys have to suggest? I'd love to hear even the wackiest ideas!

thanks!

Can you have your wedding cake and open gifts too?

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 13:55:43 -0800

Cheapskatefilter: If I'm traveling out of town (1500 miles) to a wedding for people who live in town, do I have to get them a gift? Known groom for 20+ years, but her friends are in her hometown so the wedding is there. I found out about it after I already had something big on the calendar so I'm making it work out and they know it.

If I didn't go, then I could have gotten them something really nice, but it meant a lot to them for me to be there so I'm going and as a result have much less to spend to the point of it being embarassing.

At what point and with how much grace do I say, "I care enough to show up, but I plunked down 600 clams to get here, that's your gift."?

Should we get our parents a gift for our wedding?

geeky — Tue, 16 May 2006 06:54:51 -0800

Should we get our parents a gift for our wedding? I'm getting married in September, and my parents are paying for the wedding. His parents have contributed as well. We would like to show both sets of parents our appreciation, but I'm not sure if a gift is the best way to do that. Neither of us has a lot of money - I'm way underpaid, he's still in school. In fact, there's a good chance we'll end up borrowing money from our parents in the first year after the wedding. I was originally thinking about gift certificates to a nice restaurant for the parents, but it seems kind of stupid given that we'll end up borrowing money from them. And would we get both sets of parents the same dollar amount, even though my parents have paid for the majority of the wedding?

Would a heartfelt card be a better way to thank them? Any other suggestions?

Wedding gift in Edinburgh

skyscraper — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 10:26:51 -0800

My wife’s cousin is getting married and we’re looking for ideas for a wedding present. Given that we don’t know him very well the current idea is to get a gift certificate, either for an “experience” or for a nice (local, non-chain) retail store. The couple-to-be is Scottish and living in Edinburgh (we’re in Seattle and have one visit to Scotland between the two of us) and in their mid-thirties. They’ve been living together for a while and have a baby, so they probably don’t need basic household items. The cousin is a top notch chef, so I’m guessing a certificate for a restaurant would not be the answer. Budget is around $100. Any ideas?

Do I send a wedding gift when I'm not invited to the wedding?

Anonymous — Fri, 14 Oct 2005 08:49:44 -0800

A (former) friend is getting married. I'm not invited to the wedding. Yet I still feel the need to send a gift. We were coworkers and very close friends for 5+ years. Her difficult personality eventually caused a lot of tension in general at work, and quite a bit of interpersonal tension between us. After she left the job (following her engagement and move halfway across the country) a few months ago, I also discovered some shady professional behavior that, in my opinion, ventured into unethical territory. In any case, I've been frozen out of her life since then. About 75% of the time, I'm relieved that she's no longer a part of my life; about 25% of the time, though, I genuinely miss her. I also genuinely hope the very best for her marriage and hope that she finds the happiness that's seemed to elude her otherwise.

The wedding is coming up in a few weeks. I'm very clearly not invited (I've run into a former coworker and a mutual friend who both received their invitations last month). Part of me figures it's best to simply write it off; I know that friendships, like relationships, sometimes just don't work out. But as I said, I also really do wish the best for her and her fiance (he's a good egg) and would like to send them a gift saying so. My own partner, though, pointed out that at least some of this may be motivated by the desire to make her feel guilty -- which, I have to admit, I secretly relished just a little once I allowed myself to think of it that way.

Anyone have two cents they'd like to throw in?

Wedding present suggestions for a 22 year-old...

sid — Fri, 13 Aug 2004 13:41:17 -0800

What's a good wedding present for a young person? [MI] A friend from high school is getting married at the tender age of 22. I'd like to get her something that is useful, not too expensive (<$50) and not your usual run-of-the-mill toaster over or martini glass set. Any suggestions?