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A WOW of a 30th birthday trip...

TravellingCari — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:27:03 -0800

I want to go somewhere really special this summer (July 2009) to celebrate my 30th birthday. "Wow Factor" is essential problem is, the "wow factor" is also proving a challenge because I've travelled a fair bit and things like "Go to Paris" have lost their "wow" for me. I know that sounds awful, but I'm being honest. I am the person who flew home from Japan for the weekend and decided on a whim to go to Seoul, because it was there and I hadn't been... I am not a normal traveller and I recognize this. Having lived and worked abroad has skewed my sense of "normal"

Some details:
Accommodation: It's my 60+ mother and I, meaning hostels are out. We're looking for reasonably priced accommodation (Starwood Hotels a bonus, I have oodles of points)
-NYC based so all airlines generally accessible via one of the three airports. We have miles on a number of airlines - so no strong preference -- between the alliances; we're covered.
-relatively flexible with July and August dates but mom's a school principal so it has to be summer. Yes, this causes some issues with peak season and weather.
-Flight time - less than 10/12 hours. Exceptions might be Buenos Aires, etc. where there's less jet lag to deal with. Any longer probably too much for a week/10 days-ish trip.
-Walking fine; sightseeing fine. Some mix of vacation and sight-seeing preferred as I don't want to come back from a vacation needing a vacation. We enjoy cultural things, history outdoor activities, beach, mountains (but not likely to be climbing), really anything.... I'm a shutter bug, so pretty is a bonus.

Some we've considered and ruled out:
-Russia: accommodation too expensive in Moscow and St. Petersburg to make this relatively affordable.
-Western Europe pretty much out, I've been to and seen most of what I want to see. It's sad, but there's little WOW left for me in Western Europe. Ditto some of Eastern Europe -- I traveled fairly extensively when I lived in Prague. There are plenty of places to go -- but I really want a WOW for my 30th, not something I could do at any time.
-Japan - used to live there, mom's been
-Australia - used to live there, too far for short trip
-Vietnam - would love to go - think it's too far for a short trip
-Caribbean -- early hurricanes chance turning the trip on its end -- would prefer not to run that risk.

In the running:
-Israel - probably my top choice, mother less in favor of this and not sure I can talk her into it. She has some valid safety concerns, I was traveling immediately after 9/11 and tend to subscribe to the thought of -- if it's my time, I'll die wherever I am --including home in bed. I observe precautions but refuse to let things I can't control overrule what I'd like to see, within reason. That said: I have no desire to go to Baghdad or Kabul.
-Peru - Machu Pichu, Cusco --never really thought about it, to be honest, seems like it could be a lot of fun.
-Ecuador - Galapagos - have heard good things
-Brazil -- half looked at either Rio or Sao Paolo; have always thougth about this on the way back from Antarctica - haven't really thought about doing it separately
-Iceland -- heard some good things; unsure of weather

FWIW, my current Top 5 Travel List is:
-Antarctica (not feasible at this time of year)
-Moscow/St. Petersburg (see above; I hope to do this at the end of the Trans Siberian)
-Israel (see above)
-South Africa (too far for this length trip)
-Tanzania (too far)

I'm up for any suggestions. Nothing is too far off the wall. I only promise to look at you cross-eyed if you suggest something like the Jersey Shore, where I spent my childhood.

How do I find clarity in a breakup?

talljamal — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:38:07 -0800

How would you choose between leaving a girl after 5 years that you could be happy with in marriage, but who doesn’t want to wait for you, in order to follow your dream of checking out day to day life in the country you were born. Fear of regret and resentment later in life a big factor here.(long explanation follows) Boy meets girl, we fall in love, plan to move to her home country for a bit, then his, both outside the US. We skip “my” leg of the trip b/c I got a job in a US city that was another place I desired to move to, she came very reluctantly, “kicking and screaming” as she put it, now she loves it).
We’ve lived together for 4 years all told, have joint bank acct and credit card, and a puppy that is seemingly mine.
5 years have gone by and she is about to be 30 (I’m 30) and she wants to take it “to the next level,” i.e. get married. She is insecure about my commitment to the relationship/to her. I don’t want to feel pressured into marriage. I love her deeply, but I’m not ready because my wanderlust is still unrequited since we didn’t hit my home country in Europe. She’s not willing to go for more than a short period and not anytime soon, can’t discuss it without the choice being right in front of her, and now not willing without the ring anyway.
Concurrently, we’ve had a rough last year while she was sick and complaining constantly, working out her chemical imbalances with medicine and killing some stomach parasites. I’ve felt codependent, feeding her needs to the point of discarding my own, feeling like a daddy/caretaker/complete emotional rock for her. But its only been recently that I identified my feeling drained, having read Codependent No More and Road Less Travelled, both greatly affecting me. I'm a very positive person, she's more pessimistic.
Now finally with everything on the line, she’s come around to the fact that all the little details of living as adults are a responsibility that have to be shared so we can both play and have fun, instead of me always feeling burdened by them.
All the beauty this woman has is clear to me, and I could picture us married, but my dream from even before meeting her, was to get back to the country that I was born in where I have a huge extended family and give it a shot (knowing the non-english language fluently) for an undetermined amount of time.
We’ve broken up, but still live together (making the search for clarity very hard), because I won’t leave until my current gig is up in 2 months time! Then I will leave for my journey, since that seems to be the barrier that has come between us taking the next step. I’m scared to lose her forever and scared that I’ll be giving up so much of my comfort at the present moment. However, I think I feed off of changing things up and continuing to search for meaning and fulfillment thru travel. She’s settled that I’m the one and her other quests for higher enlightenment will happen in time, but right now her main concern is getting hitched. It doesn’t help that tons of people we know are all shacking up and popping out babies or weddings left and right. Oh and she thinks I’m the mr. Big to her Carrie Bradshaw (SATC is her religion!). I don’t like relating me and her to our friends or movies or tv shows, but it’s the society we live in.
How would you choose between leaving a girl that you could be happy with forever (probably just needing some more direct communication/therapy about how to strike a balance for both people with chores etc.), who doesn’t want to wait for you, to go to another country for a loose year long trip in order to follow your dream of checking out day to day life there and perhaps trying other forms of art as career. Does anyone have experience with having a breakup like this, and then reconnecting and simply picking up where you left off with the partner?

Between the Woods and the Water--help, I'm lost!

Chrischris — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 10:05:48 -0800

I've decided to spend August with the books of the Eminent Patrick Leigh Fermor, but I've found I may need a map to help me... I'm looking for a very large, fairly detailed (meaning that small towns and villages are represented, as well as--hopefully--prominent geographical features (famous alpine locations, etc.) map of Europe from the Netherlands to Instanbul.
Free (as in online and downloadable) would be preferable, but I'm willing to invest a little cash to help me better visualize Fermor's journey. I've trolled the usual online repositories (Perry-Castañeda Library Map Collection, etc.) but have not seem anything that seems detailed enough. Suggestions, anyone?

I left my heart in Paris.

rndm — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 23:32:04 -0800

Help me fall in love with San Francisco all over again! Background: Since graduating from high school in 2001, I've lived in five different cities. I've been in San Francisco for almost two years now, and I'm starting to get itchy feet again. Problem? I've got a wonderful boyfriend who was born and raised here, and fully intends to live the rest of his life in this city. Aside from just being stubborn ("Why would anyone want to live anywhere else?!"), he has a few legitimate reasons for being here right now (a son and elderly parents), and I'm not willing to give him up just to sate my wanderlust.

So, I need to learn to love San Francisco all over again! I've gotten bored here, but I know that's mostly because I have few friends (so shy! so introverted!) and I really haven't taken advantage of many of the amazing opportunities this city affords... I'm pretty much just lolling about in my own little world that consists of me/roommate/boyfriend/kitty/camera/laptop/episodes of Heroes. It's a nice life, but I need a change.

I know this is a broad question, but: What do I do? Where do I start?

What do you love about San Francisco? How did you make friends here? What events/groups/whatever were awesome? Any other words of wisdom?

Can I cure both my wanderlust and wardrobe inadequacy in one fell swoop?

davidriley — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 11:11:58 -0800

I would like to travel and I recently realized that my wardrobe leaves much to be desired. I have read here that it is possible for a man to travel to an Asian country such as India or Thailand and have a suit of reasonable quality tailored for but a fraction of what an equivalent in the United States would cost. If it is indeed possible, how should I go about doing this? For example, how can I find a tailor in another country? Provided I am able to find one, what should I do to prepare? What would be some good locations or times to consider? Would my inability to speak any language other than English make this impractical?

This place sucks- Get me outta here!

Saydur — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 22:28:13 -0800

How to deal with gnawing wanderlust? I live in Oklahoma right now, and due to education and other tie-downs, I'm stuck here until at least the beginning of 2007.

The problem is, I'm desperate to leave. It may be nice to have friendly neighbors and open space, but there's plenty of downsides. Basically, it's a stifling area to anyone who isn't a conservative Christian. Needless to say, that's not me. Sadly, life in the South for so long has left me a little insular and slow to open to new areas, so short trips outside of the area tend to be futile without friends to show me the area, or at least someone to join me on such a trip.

I need to find something that's not Bible Belt USA on a low budget, and with reasonably limited time to escape. Any suggestions for travel, alternatives to ease my mind, or even just knowledge of interesting things in the OKC area that don't involve a drunken stupor?