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Why can't we all just get along!?

I'd like to read some different perspectives on war and violent mentality of certain groups. [more inside]
posted by floweredfish on Jan 12, 2014 - 9 answers

 

Just not into him or fears from the past? 35f ponders marriage, again.

TL/DR: My BF (30) and I have been together a year and 1/2. Moved too fast for me, and him too in retrospect. Never got on my own feet after bad divorce and that feeling has endured the length of my current relationship. Close friend and 1000000 people on Meta suggest breaking up. But...I panic at that, too. [more inside]
posted by dollyllama on Jan 9, 2014 - 25 answers

So apparently my family is publicly bragging about our child abuse now?

So I log onto facebook for the first time in weeks today and see my brother has posted this image and my mother has "liked" it. Nothing that was done to us as kids would qualify as spanking (punched in the side of the head very often, welts on skin, bruises, dad threatening my sister with a kitchen knife, holding us off the ground by our necks, locking us in the bathroom and hitting us for half an hour for eating the wrong yoghurt from the fridge, knocked over if we ever spoke back to them etc). My brother was actually very rarely hit and it stopped altogether when mum threatened to divorce dad after he hit my brother badly one time. (No such luck for us girls though). I'm SO ANGRY right now and want to react but don't know how it would improve anything. I feel like I'm being goaded but am trapped in how I handle this, with it being a public forum all my friends can see. Please Mefi help me stay calm and do this right (even if that means doing nothing). [more inside]
posted by everydayanewday on Dec 10, 2013 - 39 answers

How can I stop myself being so sensitive to violent scenes?

Violent or humiliating scenes in films, TV shows, books, news and just things I see and hear day-to-day really upset me, to the point where I can't even cope with seeing them without feeling traumatised. It feels like this is a problem in my life - but I've always been this way and can't seem to desensitise myself. How do I stop being so over-sensitive? [Much, much, much more inside - sorry x] [more inside]
posted by winterhill on Nov 19, 2013 - 36 answers

Not disciplining 7-y.o. boy for publicly battering younger girl - WTF?

While at a small family gathering in our friends' home, my coworker's 7-year-old son suddenly grabbed a 4-year-old girl, raised her up into the air over his head, and body-slammed her onto the living room floor -- in full and complete view of 8 parents, including both of his own. His parents never did or said anything to him about it that night, and we're all horrified. How do we get to a place of acceptance when folks make vastly different parenting choices than our own, and our kids see it? Details ... [more inside]
posted by hush on Nov 15, 2013 - 55 answers

Anniversary party/the abuser run in edition

Forty years ago, my parents founded a literary society together. (They subsequently divorced). The organization is having its fortieth anniversary party. Both my parents will be there and they are generally very happy/excited to see old friends, read old poems, and remember friends who have passed away. I am going to support them. Here's my problem: my mother dated and lived with one of the other members for years. And one day he went psycho, broke her ribs and put her in the hospital. She called me bleeding and crying from the hospital. It wasn't safe for her to go back home obviously, so she had to go into a domestic violence shelter before staying with a friend and then getting her own apartment. This was 15 years ago and she hasn't seen or talked to him since. She didn't press charges to my knowledge. [more inside]
posted by bananafish on Oct 17, 2013 - 25 answers

How can I help my mother out of an abusive relationship?

My mother needs help leaving a bad situation. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2013 - 9 answers

movies where everyone behaves themselves?

After a couple summer blockbusters left a bad taste in my mouth, the new(-ish) Much Ado About Nothing was refreshing. What are your favorite movies where no one is killed, threatened, beat up, kidnapped or stolen from?
posted by morganw on Aug 13, 2013 - 56 answers

Please help me find this poem about domestic violence.

Please help me find this poem about domestic violence. [Trigger warning] [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Aug 5, 2013 - 4 answers

Game of Violence

I have just watched season 1 and 2 of Game of Thrones and am burned out by the level of violence. I sense myself getting desensitized to it. Right now I am taking a break from going forward to season 3. I am considering whether I want to continue watching the extreme violence even though I like the characters and the scope of the story. Should i stop now or continue. It does't make sense to close my eyes to the violent parts because I would miss the whole show. No, I don't want to read the books, I am a visual person.
posted by Xurando on Jun 19, 2013 - 39 answers

How to deal with threat of violence against me from gf's stalker?

How do I (male) deal with violent (physical, not shooting) threats from another male who has acted creepy, but not violently, in the past? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2013 - 15 answers

Where can one donate to Iraqi and Afghan victims of violence?

Are there any organizations I can donate to or help with that are devoted to cleaning up the messes we made in Afghanistan and Iraq? I keep seeing news of American and allied bombings accidentally killing children and civilians, and it seems like all these require something more than just an "oopsie!" or indifferent silence. [more inside]
posted by Sleeper on Apr 24, 2013 - 6 answers

How can I most peacefully exit an abusive housing situation?

I called for a house meeting to address a housemates abusive behavior towards me but have determined that the best option for me is to simply remove myself from the situation and move out. Do I call off the meeting or do I still have it and then tell the house later that I want to move out or something else? [more inside]
posted by defmute on Mar 19, 2013 - 23 answers

Playing my part in making life for fellow LGBT countryfolk bearable.

The State-sanctioned homophobia and transphobia in Malaysia, my country of origin, is breaking my heart. What can I do as a currently overseas citizen to make things better for my fellow LGBT folk back in Malaysia, particularly in raising awareness of the issue internationally? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Mar 5, 2013 - 5 answers

Trying to evade violent stalker, seeking feedback and advice

A woman I'm seeing has an ex who was abusive, and is now back in her life and an active violent threat. Help us respond appropriately. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2013 - 20 answers

Just not up for dealing with this right now

So a couple years ago this happened, pretty much in my front lawn. I thought I was pretty much over it, and hadn't really thought about it too much despite the 14 mass shootings since then, but I'm feeling totally worn down by yesterdays events. What's your best advice for shaking this sort of thing off? [more inside]
posted by Kid Charlemagne on Dec 15, 2012 - 25 answers

We told them we're the wrong people and they don't believe us. How to stay safe?

Gang members think someone who owes them money lives at our house. They are wrong and we told them so twice. Then they came back at night and threw a brick through our window. We immediately went to a hotel and have already signed a rental agreement elsewhere. However, I am scared to go pack up the house. Is that rational, and if so, what recourse do we have? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2012 - 25 answers

Are women at more risk of violence than men at night?

Are women actually at more risk of violence than men at night? I'm looking for crime statistics and well supported research (such as reports and journal articles) on violence (such as muggings, assault, etc ) and gender. [more inside]
posted by ninjablob on Aug 6, 2012 - 12 answers

Fairy Tale Fodder?

What are some common folk/fairy tales which feature horrible suffering (death/torture) of unnamed, minor characters? [more inside]
posted by Alabaster on Jul 25, 2012 - 12 answers

How do I stop masturbating to violent images?

I am a woman who is deeply ashamed of what sexually excites me and need help or resources in learning to stop my porn/masturbation problem. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 22, 2012 - 24 answers

Neighbor attacked boyfriend; what should I do?

Neighbor attacked her boyfriend with knife. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by dolce_voce on Jul 18, 2012 - 34 answers

Last night I was threatened by someone on my property.

Last night I was threatened by someone on my property. What should I do to get over feeling vulnerable/anxious? [more inside]
posted by brevator on Jun 15, 2012 - 21 answers

Suggest some gore-free quality television!

I adore Mad Men. I also can't handle gore. What other shows might I enjoy? [more inside]
posted by theraflu on Jun 8, 2012 - 58 answers

Should I avoid dating someone who has this in them to do?

Should I avoid dating someone who, as part of a "game," punched a woman until she bruised severely? [more inside]
posted by Sock of Silliness on Jun 5, 2012 - 84 answers

Help me help her.

Nutshell: I need a reputable, authoritative source of data about how many times the average victim of abuse/domestic violence/intimate partner violence returns to the relationship. [more inside]
posted by prefpara on Apr 27, 2012 - 6 answers

What else can we do?

Active domestic violence and emotional abuse in the unit above me... Help us brainstorm, are there other things we can do as neighbors with long ears? [more inside]
posted by Leucistic Cuttlefish on Apr 25, 2012 - 16 answers

Animal breakdown?

I can't shake the feeling that I must hurt my pet, help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2012 - 34 answers

How do I get out of this?

Escaping a bad life? [more inside]
posted by SquidlyDigi on Feb 5, 2012 - 35 answers

Sorry, suburban white straw people, for encouraging this

What are some good articles and resources about human fascination with offensive/violent art and occurrences? [more inside]
posted by Echobelly on Dec 16, 2011 - 6 answers

Violent Ex

Asking for a friend: her unhinged, stalker ex-boyfriend's behaviour has escalated into violence. We are all very concerned. Any help would be appreciated, particularly if you know any details about dealing with this kind of situation in London. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2011 - 21 answers

Stuck in the middle with you.

SadisticCinemaFilter: Film scenes in which person A deliberately and for no apparent reason hurts person B when person B obviously poses no threat whatsoever to person A. [more inside]
posted by gauche on Nov 21, 2011 - 33 answers

Is a totally peaceful life a historical anomaly?

What approximate percentage of the human population that has ever existed has lived a life free from violence on a mass scale? [more inside]
posted by jlowen on Sep 29, 2011 - 10 answers

Is Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle "appropriate" reading for a 12 year old?

Is Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle "appropriate" reading for a 12 year old? [more inside]
posted by ennui.bz on Sep 3, 2011 - 42 answers

Did I play this right? Potentially violent physical encounter.

Potentially violent physical encounter at the market earlier on. Did I do the right thing? [more inside]
posted by Scottie_Bob on Sep 3, 2011 - 43 answers

How common is this weird anger management issue?

How common is this weird anger management issue? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 22, 2011 - 27 answers

Growing with Autism

So my autistic son is now 9 years old. How do I (a 5'0" woman) stop him (a 4'6" tornado) from physically harming me? [more inside]
posted by mitzyjalapeno on Jul 14, 2011 - 14 answers

how to turn a battleground into a park?

I'm looking for information on parks or playgrounds in areas of conflict, especially urban areas. [more inside]
posted by sepviva on Jul 5, 2011 - 5 answers

What should I have done?

What would you do in this situation? Mind your own business, intervene, call the police, or something else? [more inside]
posted by seesom on May 19, 2011 - 34 answers

You stay in your state, I'll stay in mine.

Can I obtain a domestic violence restraining order in California against a person who lives in another state? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2011 - 5 answers

How do I control my rage?

In one week, I've turned into a downright angry and rude and unlikeable person. How can I reverse this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2011 - 27 answers

I'm not Charles Bronson. Or am I?

How do I silence the vengeful voice inside myself? [more inside]
posted by broadway bill on Apr 29, 2011 - 41 answers

How to get inappropriate fellow volunteer banned from our historical archives?

How to get inappropriate fellow volunteer banned from our historical archives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2011 - 11 answers

Are we less violent than we were before?

My friend has commented that the world is getting less violent as we progress. He states that that the 20th century is less violent than all the previous centuries. My question is this. Considering all forms of violent action against humans in the Western world is the 20th century less violent than previous centuries. Are we becoming more peaceful as a species as we evolve?
posted by terminus on Feb 14, 2011 - 47 answers

This might have been the book that sparked my love for all things fantasy

Another forgotten YA book title. I would have read it in 1985 or so - elementary school. Two kids from modern times are led through a portal (maybe?) or time travel (??) into a medieval/fantasy setting with (or possibly, where they meet?) a ranger type character. [more inside]
posted by lilnublet on Feb 11, 2011 - 9 answers

help me move on.

How can I psychologically process being mugged, and move on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2011 - 29 answers

Grace under fire

Non-lame way to handle homophobic intimidation? [more inside]
posted by dontjumplarry on Dec 24, 2010 - 25 answers

Violence in a Box

For a homework assignment my daughter has to analyze a TV show or movie that has violence in it but violence is not the main theme of the screenplay. [more inside]
posted by Xurando on Nov 21, 2010 - 38 answers

Has Article Four, Section Four of the US Constitution ever been explicitly invoked?

Has Article Four of the US Constitution ever been explicitly invoked to justify state violence or state action against American citizens? [more inside]
posted by synecdoche on Nov 2, 2010 - 11 answers

Why is one of these things not like the others?

Why did the "Twisted girl throwing puppies in a river" video generate such global outrage and attention, when other videos of violence towards animals usually don't? What was different about this video? [more inside]
posted by Ashley801 on Aug 31, 2010 - 39 answers

Is her excessive temper a red flag for our wedding or can it be overcome?

I am months away from a wedding with deep reservations about my future wife's temperament, which often becomes physically violent. How do I persist? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2010 - 371 answers

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