Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with vasectomy

How, if at all, is sex different after a vasectomy?

Anonymous — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:11:06 -0800

How, if at all, is sex different after a vasectomy? NSFW details inside. Looking for first-hand experiences about what sex is like after a vasectomy. Does it feel substantially different in any way? Erections harder to get/maintain? What about ejaculation - that still happens, right? More, less, the same?

Gutted because he's had a vasectomy.

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:29:36 -0800

How do I cope with the guilt and heartbreak of snuffing out love because we'll never have kids? I recently started seeing someone that I adore. I've known him for a few months through a couple of special interest groups, so we have quite a bit in common. We finally hooked up a few weeks ago and the chemistry just took off. There was the instant bonding of someone I could spend years with, if not the rest of my life. He feels the same way.

The kicker... I want kids and he has had a vasectomy. I told him almost immediately that this was a dealbreaker for me, because we were already starting to fall for each other and I didn't want to get too far in without disclosing this. I told him that I respect his decision to not have more kids, but that I am not the person for him because of this.

Now he has started broaching subjects like reversal, donor sperm and IVF. I have never, ever suggested these as options - it's purely him who has brought them up. If anything, I've tried to discourage him because he's saying this in desperation to keep me. None of these seem like reasonable measures for someone who previous to me, did not want any more kids. Even the best case scenario - reversal - seems far fetched. It'd be a couple of years before even trying, allowing time for the relationship to develop and to get money/immigration issues out of the way.

Details: He is 38, been married twice. Has a late-teens kid that he is not involved with except for child support. Got the vasectomy about 10 years ago. I'm 32 (almost 33), been in a few LTR's, never married, no kids. I want one or two biological kids and a partner to raise them with (marriage optional).

Even more details: The immigration factor is irrelevant except that it's an additional setback in terms of time and cost. If it wasn't for the vasectomy thing I wouldn't hesitate to immigrate permanently to his country (I am here temporarily). We're from different countries but the cultures are similar. I don't think I give off a desperate-for-baby vibe... just looking at things rationally I have a small window of time to have kids. Donor sperm would be a last resort for me if I hit my late 30s and I'm still single.

Am I being selfish in trying to protect us both from the inevitable? Is there a point of view that I'm missing? Maybe it would help if I could see this from his perspective, so if anyone has been in his shoes before, please share. I'm absolutely heartbroken to let him go. :(

How young is too young to get snipped?

Anonymous — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 18:35:50 -0800

At what age is it reasonable to consider a vasectomy? (NWS?) I understand the potential for regret or remorse in the case of vasectomies. That being said,
A. How old should one be before one could be sure enough in the decision to get a vasectomy?
B. How young is 'too young' for medical professionals to perform a vasectomy? (Assuming that the decision is wholly that of the person to be operated on)

Just for clarification, my reasons for being interested in the matter are
A. that I have no interest in having children,
B. that I feel it slightly unethical considering the global population, and
C. that if I were to change my mind, I place no special value in a child being genetically mine or not, so adoption would likely be the solution there.

(I'd rather this not be about my reasons for being interested in the matter, but moreso about when I can be reasonably secure in the knowledge that my beliefs on the matter aren't likely to change any time soon, and when I could reasonably get the procedure performed.)

Should I go to India to get my vasectomy reversed?

bengarland — Fri, 01 May 2009 13:57:52 -0800

Should I go to India to get my vasectomy reversed? I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy reversal. Here in the US this procedure costs about $10,000. However, I have heard of people going to other countries (e.g. India) for minor outpatient surgeries at significantly less cost while receiving the same level of care.

Does anyone have any recommendations on where I can go to get this done for a lot less than $10k? Has anyone out there gone abroad for surgery or other medical procedures?

Has anyone out there in MeFi land had a vasectomy reversed (whether here in the US or abroad), and what did you think? Did it work?

I don't hear any ticking...

Anonymous — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 07:52:21 -0800

My boyfriend and I are considering the option of a vasectomy. How can I be sure that I won't want to have a baby someday? I've been taking various forms of hormonal birth control for ages and the side effects are really getting to me, so my boyfriend of 11 years decided that it's time for him to have a vasectomy. Neither of us have any desire to have kids. He's more sure about it than I am, and he wants me to be sure it's what I want before he gets snipped.

I'm in my mid-30s now and I have this fear that in a year or two my biological clock will kick in and I'll want to have a baby. On the other hand, up to this point, I haven't had even the tiniest twinge of baby envy or whatever you call it. When I hang out with friends or coworkers who have newborns, I'm not overcome with a need to hold the baby. I don't have baby dreams or daydreams. The idea of being tied down with a baby for years makes me nervous. So it seems really, really unlikely that I'm going to change my mind...but I still have a bit of an uneasy feeling at the permanence of a vasectomy. I know we could bank sperm, but we don't really have the cash to do that long-term.

The other thing is, I wonder if there's something wrong with me for not wanting children. It seems like it's I should want to do, but I don't.

So how can I be sure this is the right thing to do? Is there any way to really be sure? Have you been through this and have advice? Should I find the money to bank sperm just in case?

How can you get cleared faster for unprotected sex after a vasectomy?

otherwordlyglow — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 14:25:47 -0800

I have some post-vasectomy questions. We've thought of a lot of questions since my husband got a vasectomy about 6 weeks ago. We'd ask the doc but he has no plans to see him again.

He had his first post-procedure sampling Friday and the result was that he's not clear yet (there's still residual sperm in his semen) and will get tested again in a month. Is there anything to do to hasten the clearing of the sperm from his system? Should he be masturbating a lot in order to clean the pipes out? If you've gone through this, how long did it take you to get the "all clear"?

From what I gather, now that the procedure if done, even though the sperm is still being produced, it doesn't make it into the semen, right? But where does the sperm go? I've heard that it gets "reabsorbed", but what does that mean? Is there sperm free-floating in his body (I'm guessing not but am still wondering where it goes)? How long does sperm "live" inside his body before it dies or is reabsorbed?

Vasectomy mixtape!

Anonymous — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 18:57:04 -0800

Vasectomy mixtape! My best friend is about to get his vasectomy. I want to make him a mixtape as a gesture of congratulations, as he and his equally childfree wife are currently in a state of unbridled excitement about finally getting it done. Any clever ideas for songs (especially in the genre of punk)? For example, he often jokes about the Adolescents song "I Hate Children", so I'll probably use that one, among others.

(By the way, I'm posting anonymously because his vasectomy is on the DL and I don't want to let the secret slip to those who might recognize my username and connect us.)

Help me plan a prank centered around getting snipped.

sorindome — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 16:29:21 -0800

Help me plan a prank centered around getting snipped. My boss is getting a vasectomy on Friday. What should his office look like when he returns on Monday? Really, any good pranks would be acceptable, decorating the office just seems like the most basic one. The individual is a partner at a law firm. I have complete buy in from several other partners, so no suggestion is out of bounds here.

Low-cost, state-covered vasectomy in Wisconsin?

Anonymous — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 15:17:58 -0800

Low-cost, state-covered vasectomy in Wisconsin? I am a single male, age 25. I make very little money from my part-time job, enough to cover the rent and some groceries, but not much else. I want to get a vasectomy, but my health insurance does not cover it. I am far below the poverty line. Are there any programs in Wisconsin that could cover my vasectomy? The cheese state has the Family Planning Waiver, but that is restricted to women. Wisconsin Planned Parenthoods do not provide sterilization.

hydrocele surgery: crazy or not?

oigocosas — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 13:36:09 -0800

vis a vis today's mefi post: http://www.metafilter.com/58775/Proof-that-guys-think-with-their anyone out there had hydrocele surgery? my left one's the size of a grapefruit.
ok, not quite but still WAY TOO BIG. no pain, no problems. had the mri--no tumor. but it continues to grow, is starting to get in the way and i fear that one day it may start speaking a la richard e. grant in how to get ahead in advertising.

now about today's post: does hydrocele corrective surgery destroy this brain/testes barrier i never knew about?

can anyone share any other info/experiences with this surgery?

thanks!

The big v in the big city, the big snip, snippy-snippy, etcetc. (VasectomyNYCFilter)

Anonymous — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 10:31:33 -0800

I'm looking to get a vasectomy in NYC and need some recommendations as to where I should go. Can anyone recommend Drs with whom they've had great (well, you know what I mean) experiences? By "great" I mean the whole enchilada...office, the actual Dr, aftercare, the experience itself, everything. I'll sort out coverage questions on my own (pretty sure it's Empire BlueCross, the wife takes care of such things)(tho paying a privateer isn't out of the question), and I should let you know that I live in south Brooklyn and would love to hear about your most-preferred Drs closer to my home. If not, well, I'll take the train/cab, no biggie.

Based on reading previous threads and some other stuff around the InterWebs, I'll say this: 33 years old, no kids, no desire for kids for me or my wife, ever, and a list way longer than what I'm getting operated on why I should never reproduce. The "are you sure???!! interview" is not something I'm concerned with.

Any anecdotes or anything else anyone wants to say would be much appreciated, as well.

Snip Snip

crapples — Sat, 26 Nov 2005 06:44:00 -0800

I'm considering getting the big "V" -- yup, a Vasectomy. However, as a general rule I've kept razor sharp knifes away from that part of my body. Anyone have experience with this that you'd care to share? Specifically: Tell me about (1) Pain during the procedure, (2) Pain after the procedure, and (3) any side effects that follow (i.e., performance or 'drive' issues). Thanks.

Reversible vasectomy available?

lunkfish — Tue, 15 Nov 2005 10:33:37 -0800

Is the reversible vasectomy procedure now available in any country? I've seen articles about a 'vasectomy' technique where the vas is plugged with a plastic plug that can be removed. Some comments in the earlier contraceptive seemed to imply that it was now an option.

This would suit my situation, and having kids at the wrong time is my nightmare, so I'd be prepared to travel to somewhere like India or China where they were being done.

Blanks or Bullets?

id — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 16:02:10 -0800

ShootingBlanksFilter: I'm a single male in my mid-twenties, whom after taking a long break from the opposite sex, is getting back into the game. However, reading about fertility control issues, and also having first-hand experience with this, I've come to realize that men do not have the same reproductive control options available to them that women do. So now I'm considering a vasectomy. Now, don't be taken aghast yet- we're not talking about ending my ability to have children. My plan is to have my 'stuff' stored in a sperm bank, paying the rent on a very long term basis and ensuring it would be safe. This would allow in vitro fertilization in the future, if I were to get married.

Due to the US's theological influence to reproductive issues, I fear it will be many years before the male 'pill' and other internal options are approved for the general public.

Now, I realize that I may be taking this reproductive control issue to an all-time new level, but this is a very serious topic to me- one that could change my life in ways I may not be comfortable with. Twice in my life I've had pregnancy scares, and my last girlfriend just delivered her baby girl, the father being the guy she dated after me.

So, my multi-part question to AskMeFi is: Is this a viable option for me to be considering? Would my sperm be safe enough in a bank that I know I could rely on it for insemination and permanently end my ability to conceive naturally? Are there any other angles on this that I'm missing?

Thanks much!

Sudden personality change in a 54 year-old man

pandaharma — Fri, 06 May 2005 17:20:32 -0800

What would be the cause of a sudden and radical personality change in a 54 year old male? An older friend of mine has recently undergone a nearly complete personality switch. He was a salt-of-the-earth kinda guy, extremely reliable, very attentive and loving to his wife, somewhat taciturn but definitely the sort of person you would want on your side. His relationship with his wife was solid and they never fought seriously or had any difficulty in the eight years they were together.

He recently had a vasectomy (his wife is quite a bit younger and they already have one daughter and didn't want another) and afterwards 'somewhat taciturn' has morphed into being 'completely unresponsive emotionally'. He has started fights with her, won't tell her how he feels beyond "I don't think I love you anymore", and has been competely emotionless about her deciding to take their daughter and move out for a while. He's even confessed to using other women for emotional support (there's no evidence of any affairs).

All of this happened almost immediately after the vasectomy and was a complete turnabout from his normal personality. Its not as if their marriage was slowly deteriorating. Everything was great and then one day it wasn't.

So my question is: what caused this? The main reason I ask is because I think, without any evidence to support this, that something physically happened to him (beyond the vasectomy, of course). He's a smoker with abnormally low blood pressure and often suffers from severe nosebleeds, but no other medical conditions that I know of. My original theory was that perhaps he had a small stroke with no physical problems but with the complete switch in personality. However, the research I've done online doesn't seem to indicate that this is the case.

Vasectomy ? Really ?

XiBe — Thu, 07 Apr 2005 07:17:37 -0800

Is vasectomy the new craze for some men ? While clicking around following some recent tech-news-april-fools, I stumbled upon this post, where the author says he doesn't want more kids, and is getting vasectomy.
Okay. Why not. But then I read the comment, and many in there are saying the did it too or are planning to do it or something.
So, I'm just posting here asking : WTF ? Is vasectomy seen as the only way to not have kids ? What's the point about willingly getting one's nuts ? Are there some datas around here showing if vasectomy is as popular as these comments tend to show ?
Or is it another April Fools from this man ?

Reversing a Reversible Vasectomy?

mimi — Wed, 06 Oct 2004 09:39:12 -0800

Ever get a "reversible" vasectomy, um, reversed? [all tucked inside] That old, "oh, in a year or two" is finally catching up, as I looked at the calendar last week and realized that I'm going to be 34 in January. CRAP, I FORGOT TO HAVE A BABY.

Der Herr has a reversible silk thread something something sciencey word.

Insurance covers vasectomies and assisted technologies, but not reversals. The information I've found Googlng is regarding a different and trickier (and really bloody expensive - $5 - $12K!! OMFG ) procedure.

Today's to-do list includes: Stalk husband into calling urologist.

Has anyone else been in this boat? Costs? Time to successful conception? I'm freakin' out. I know this is waaaay to much information BUT IT IS TOTALLY NOT FOR ME IT IS FOR A FRIEND, OK?

Vasectomy recovery tips

Richat — Fri, 27 Aug 2004 17:18:44 -0800

kinda-personal-filter
Now that mrs. Richat and I have two beautiful daughters, I am thinking of partaking in a small procedure, but I have some questions that will be, well, you know, inside… I haven’t spoken to my doctor about the modern vasectomy yet, but I am wondering…should I be planning a weekend away afterward to avoid the horseplay that my three year old loves? Can I expect much pain, or general discomfort afterward? Can anyone share any good advice?