Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with up

Is my boyfriend an alcoholic?

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 10:00:24 -0800

I think I may have to leave the man I have made many sacrifices for, because he is an alcoholic. But I don't have the guts to do that, because it would kill all the faith I have in humanity, and because I love him, and care for him, so very much. He refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs it. Am I being stupid if I decide to stay in this relationship? I apologize if I am long-winded, but I think I have come to the realization that I have to leave the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and who I love deeply.

We just got back from a party at a bar where he ordered ten large bottles of beer. These people were my friends, and he was loud, obnoxious, and when they said that he had ordered ten bottles and needed to pay for them because no one else was really drinking, he was insulting to them. When I tried to talk to him outside, he threatened to smash my head into the wall - he wouldn't ever do that, but the fact is the he disrespected me all night, and didn't care what I thought of his behavior. He drinks non-stop every time we go out... but he's only obnoxious with my friends, not his - I am pretty sure he feels insecure... he's the kind of guy that prefers dive bars over quiet(er) dinner parties that my friends like to have. However, when we're home, he doesn't drink that much - maybe one beer or a glass of wine and that's it. I know him very well, and sometimes it feels like he is really insecure about himself, and wants to impress me, and that's what makes him drink. He is by nature contrary, and often says that I drive him to, when we're out and I tell him he should stop.

He has two DUIs. His conviction obligates him to go to AA meetings, he has to do jail time (96 hours), and he has to do community service. Our relationship started out in the worst way - long-distance and complicated - and he blames the downfall of his life on us... he got laid off, failed the MCATs. I was going through a rough time in my life (a divorce) when we first start dating after being friends for years, and he was there for me long-distance, but in that period his life suffered and he now resents me more than a little for it.

All this said, I love this man with all my heart. I know how intelligent he is, how capable of achievements (we both met in grad school while working towards our doctorates) he is, and I know above all that despite the crusty exterior, he would give the shirt off his back for a friend if he was asked to. I also knows he loves me... I won't go into it, but his actions when he's not drunk are mostly kind and caring. He's a fiercely independent person, and is extremely selfish at times... but he's a decent, good human being who would never intentionally hurt someone.

I am beginning to lose respect for myself, both because I want to stay with him, and because I can't bring myself to leave. He might ruin my life, but I keep telling myself things will get better. We both made sacrifices for the sake of this relationship, and while things haven't worked out for us professionally, I'm willing to overlook things and work for it... he doesn't have as much faith as I do. I know if I told him that I made the biggest mistake of my life with him, he would agree (he thinks his life has hit rock-bottom) and tell me I should find someone that can make me happy. Has anyone else had a similar experience? What do you do when you have burned bridges, made personal sacrifices, and go out of your way for someone only to be constantly reminded that they are too self-involved/ beat-down with their own issues to realize your devotion to them? Please help. My insides hurt, and the pain is taking my breath away.

Thank you for your input.

Schizoaffective question

villazapat — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:21:24 -0800

Has anybody ever dated someone whom is schizoaffective, which is a combination of a mood disorder and psychotic symptoms. If you have , have you experienced being dumped without an explanation when you thought everything was going well.

All the tracks lead you to heartbreak.

dhn — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:26:36 -0800

Best break up albums of all time? So, I recently went through a heart-rending breakup. In which I have listened to so many breakup songs (We Belong Together! The End of the Road! Martha by Tom Waits!) and that This American Life episode called "Break Up" so many times on repeat, singing along with clenched fists that the neighbors may call the state on me. I just purchased The Fall by Norah Jones, which may be the perfect breakup album (if you like Norah Jones, and I do!), which is a back-and-forth chronicle of ambivalence and heartbreak over her own break up with former collaborator/producer/boyfriend Lee Alexander. There's lots of threads about break up songs. But what about break up albums? I'm only coming up with recent examples like Alanis Morissette's "Flavors of Entanglement," about her breakup with Ryan Reynolds. And then there's Liz Phair's "Exile in Guyville." But tell me, MeFites, what are some others? I've been loving just immersing myself in one album that says it all: "I need you, come back, fuck off, you suck."

Meaning of "UP" Bumper Sticker

peeedro — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:40:37 -0800

What does the "UP" bumper sticker mean? It is a blue square with white letters "UP" in the center, observed in the DC area. The bumper sticker is square, about 4 inches on each side, with a dark blue background. Centered within the blue square are the letters "UP" in a white sans-serif font. I have seen this on vehicles registered in DC, VA, and MD over the past couple of years.

Red herrings: it is close to the same color and shape as the HRC equality sticker but I don't think they are related. And this is unlikely to be related the to Pixar movie because I have been wondering about this bumper sticker for the past two years.

Sex with an ex?

bananaskin — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 12:15:25 -0800

I'd like to hear stories or comments from others who have slept with their exes. I am a woman in my 40's....I had dated my ex-boyfriend for about 2 years, off and on. He was an alcoholic & liar during that time. Slept with other women without telling me supposedly during our "off" times, but there were definately overlapping times in which he never disclosed what he was doing. I found out and broke it off, then we got back together and on the cycle went. He no longer sleeps with other women, or so he says. Of course I do not believe him. He stopped drinking 6 months ago. But his basic selfishness & dishonesty continued.

Anyway, during our last break up & no contact for 6 weeks, I finally caved and called him to come over in the middle of the night, "just for sex". Of course, he comes over, jumping at the chance for sex. I had thought in the past, and wonder now if sex was his sole or main desire all along, not a real relationship.

We now have done this 2 times, and the experience was good, I guess. It was just plain sex. There was no intimacy. In fact, the whole thing from beginning to end was in the dark with absolutely no eye contact. I still hate him, but feel good to have this physical comfort, being quite lonely. I am "using" him now, and that feels like some sort of revenge, but I am sure he is not being hurt at all in this, as he enjoys it too.

I just wonder, how do you keep from getting hurt out of something like this? This really is not my nature, as I really want to have an emotional, real, relationship with sex growing out of that. I have found that I feel a little sad and dissappointed with the emptiness, being that the sex is devoid of any communication, intimacy, sharing of emotion. But I find if he just comes over late at night, then leaves right away, I can sort of "compartmentalize" this away from the rest of my daily life.

At the same time, it does feel a little liberating to just use him for sex and enjoy it just for that.

Any other people out there who have done this and have some stories to share or advice?
Thank you.

Below the hemline...

lois1950 — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 12:13:57 -0800

Fancy restaurant tonight = black/white jersey wrap dress. It's October in Seattle. Can I wear panty hose? I have not worn a dress all summer and I missed the memo about not wearing panty hose anymore. I don't think that black or white tights will look good with the dress; nude or bare would be better. Is this a big fashion no?
The alternative is dress pants. I am in my 50s and no one has ever accused me of having any fashion sense. Thanks for any advice!

Backing up a Macbook

ashaw — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 01:16:41 -0800

I've received a new 320GB hard drive that I want to fit in my Macbook which is still running OSX Tiger. I also want to install my Snow Leopard Box set. I need to back all my data up on an external HD. How should I do things? My plan of action was to:
1)Copy all files on my laptop to the external hard drive
2) Install new hard drive.
3) Install Snow Leopard
4) Access HD and transfer everything over.

Also, any programs which will make the backing up easier?

Seeing as I've never done anything like this before, I want to make sure I haven't missed anything incase I loose all my data and music (I shudder just thinking of the possibility).

What to talk about - Do's and Don'ts meeting up with the ex's dumper friend?

zulonline — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 08:50:13 -0800

What to talk about - do's and don'ts on a meeting up with a good friend of the person who broke my heart quite badly a few months ago?
I am meeting up tonight with a good girl-friend of the man who broke my heart quite badly and "used" me for some time.

I don't want to create a bad impression , appearing/ talking too happy, or too hurt, or too indiferent etc, about my ex / (her friend )when I meet up with her as she is a good person and I like to keep / start a nice friendship as we were about to just before my broken up with her friend.

I need to emphasise that I am not interested in getting back with the dumper at all, just want to keep my ex's friend friendship.

I feel hurt still about the person who hurt me but I am moving on with my life quite well lately, and as it has been a few months since the broken up I am not as emotional any more. This may allow me to talk about different things , but whn the question arises about my ex situation/ broken up what it would be the best way to approach/ answer the question?

I know I should act natural, but I'd like to have some more ideas, Thank you.

I

Why can't i quit her?

jdp — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 23:30:09 -0800

My girlfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago now. However, we have been in contact regularly (after about a month and a bit of zero contact) since then and have seen each other on occsasion. When im not busy i find myself always thinking about her, and things constantly remind me about her. Im not 100% sure about getting back together with her, what should i do? Towards the end of our relationship, things got pretty bad - i wasn't happy because we were fighting alot. I guess i became less affectionate/caring because of the fighting and it put things into a downward spiral. So i broke up with her in a bit of a kneejerk reaction to a fight we were having.

How do i know if its the right thing to get back together or give it a shot? I obviously care about her a lot because i havent cut her off completely, but popular culture tells me that i should have this burning desire to get back together with her and we wouldnt have had this break for this long?? If it is the right thing to do, whats the best way to play it.

I would think we'd hang out and see where things go, but she would find that hard to deal with and would want some certainty ie. if we're not together by x date then its off?

More bounce for the ounce: Any suggestions for a ridiculous, over-the-top push up bra?

ShadePlant — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 08:50:36 -0800

Any suggestions for a ridiculous, over-the-top push up bra? I'm 5'3, 145# and bra size 38-A and am trying to find a crazy, I See Wot You Did There bra as a joke. Yes, the bra size is accurate. I'm all A and no T! I'm specifically looking for specific brand names/lines. My price range is approx. $75.00.

lowcarb protein weightloss fitness

kitcat — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:44:52 -0800

Half a day on a low-carb diet and I already feel like hurling. Advice? Ok, so I'm wondering if a low-carb diet - 25% carb, 40% protein, 35% fat - is a bad idea for me. It's only been half a day and I feel heavy and nauseous. I can suck it up ( I elected to do this, right?), but I could use some advice.

Maybe my feeling ill is just sqeamishness? To my mind (and palate) meat is ok, large quantities - gross. Lots of fat - really gross. Protein shakes without soy milk and fruit - gross and indigestable. Fish - mostly gross. On the positive side, I love tofu and nuts. And shellfish. Eggs are ok.

Anyhow, why low-carb then? Because despite my best efforts, I've only lost 2 pounds after 9 weeks of effort. I'm 5'2, 136 pounds, 29, female. I've been eating about 1400 cal/day, doing cardio (walk/jog/bike) 3 days a week and weight training another 3 days a week. On top of this, I also walk from work to the gym (40 min) 5 days a week. With only four weeks left to really work it before my vacation, I figure I need to switch something up. I'd love to lose 5 pounds. Is that too much to ask!!!!? So - I plan to maintain the same amount of exercise and the same number of calories, but switch to a low-carb diet. From what I've read, it's a pretty surefire method.

My question is this: will this feeling of grossness fade over the course of a few days? Advice for mitigating the yuck? Your low-carb success stories for encouragement?

Am I Selfish?

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:33:51 -0800

I have just broken up with my girlfriend, because I can't change. Can you help? This is a complicated topic, which I've tried to keep concise. Thanks in advance for reading!

I've just got back from the airport after one of the worst days of my life. My girlfriend has broken up with me.

Let me give you the (brief) background. We have been going out for three years. It has mostly been a long-distance relationship (me in England, her in Germany), but we have always managed to speak for an average of an hour every day on the phone, and visit each other at least every month.

The long-distance thing has been a strain at times, both on our finances and our time. We are both students (I'm 21, she is 20) and every period of free time (e.g. summer, easter and christmas holidays) has been divided between her place and mine. This has been at the expense of other things like holidays with friends, and time with our families.

The first time I can remember her talking about us having problems was about a year ago – she said that we would likely break up if I didn't start changing my priorities. Last year was my first year of university, and I was mostly concerned with making new friends, and going out and partying. I made time for our phone conversations, but sometimes I guess I did see the calls as a little more of a task than a pleasure – when my friends were doing something, I wanted to hang out with them, and shift the calls until later. When she came to visit though, we had a lot of fun, and enjoyed each other's company. This year, I think I've improved in this regard – partying has moved down my list of priorities, and she has in turn become more relaxed/flexible about our phone calls.

Over the last 6 months, however, things between us have been getting worse. Probably the main reason for this is what I affectionately call my “forgetfulness”. When asked to do something, especially by her, I mostly forget to do it entirely, or do it in the wrong way. For example, when she asked me to get a card for her dad's birthday, I said I would get it later, but then completely forgot about it. Or, on a recent trip, she asked me to bring some stuff from our hotel room. I brought too many bags as I wasn't sure which ones to get. This doesn't sound like much, but when this is happening literally 95% of the time, it obviously got to wearing her down, and making her think I didn't care about her.

I also am quite a passive person, something I think I got from my parents, who also avoid confrontation. When in an uncomfortable situation, I am not very likely to stand up for myself. She, on the other hand, is a strong personality – she stands up for herself, is outgoing, and loves to organise things, but she actually has little self-discipline. My passivity came across in our relationship when she would need my help, either to make her do something (e.g. study for her exams) or to help her with something (e.g. organise a holiday for us). I did not feel comfortable giving advice or telling her to do something, as I thought that she would be far better at organising than I am, and far more perceptive when it came to people. Now, I have got slowly, slowly better at standing up for myself. But the other problems are still there.

She has given me two deadlines in the past two months, saying that she wanted to see a definite change in me if we were to stay together. Both deadlines came, and went, and I hadn't changed. What did I do to change? I wrote what I wanted to change down on a list (Be confident, Take care of her, and be someone to look up to) and looked at it every other day. Then I tried to remember to be/do those things.

She arrived here, in England, about 10 days ago. On the first few days we had big arguments, mainly about me forgetting to do things, or, one time choosing to go out with my friends as I forgot that we'd discussed it and agreed to stay in together that night. We talked about it and agreed that when the end of her stay came (today) we would break up, as I'd shown her that I hadn't changed.

After that talk, we had very few (if any) arguments. We had a fun week, doing everything a couple should do, and trying to forget that I hadn't changed. This was not too difficult, as we have always got on well, apart from the arguments, and we fit well together.

Today, before she left (tearful and heartbreaking – we spent the last few hours just hugging), she gave me a few pieces of advice. 1. Don't follow other people – make up your own mind, and don't assume that they know better than you. 2. Try to look at arguments/situations from the perspective of a third person. That way you can more easily see it objectively. 3. Take responsibility for things – she said the reason that we were breaking up is because I had not changed, despite the fact that changing was entirely in my power.

This last one puzzled me, as I have obviously never wanted to be passive, or shirk responsibility, or not take care of her – it wasn't as if this was a concious choice not to change. I asked her about it. She said that my main problem was that deep down I was selfish.

She said that my forgetfulness came from not really caring or paying attention to what people were saying, because I had no real interest in it. i.e. when she told me to get the bags from the hotel, I didn't listen too closely. If she asked me to pack the car and I did it wrong, it was because I hadn't watched her packing it before – I didn't have a real interest in how she liked to have her car packed. (These are fairly trivial examples, but I hope they illustrate my point.) I hadn't changed because I had no real interest in doing so.

I would love to get back together with her (and from what she said, she would take me back), but I realise that my perspective may be a little skewed now having just experienced the break up. Objectively, it may give us a chance to see if the relationship is what we both want in the long-term, or whether we were just accepting it because this is what we've known over the last 3 years. Also, if I go back to her and I haven't changed, it will just hurt her all over again.

So this is where you, dear reader, come in. What I am hoping to do is change myself. I recognise that I have been selfish (not just with her, but also in dealings with my family as well) and I do not want to be like that any more. I want to be more analytical, more confident, and less selfish. Can you help me by giving your perception of the situation? Am I selfish/immature? If so, how can I work on myself to make me less selfish?

I realise this is a long post. If you've got this far, I'm so glad you stuck with me. I really appreciate it. Feel free to ask for any clarification you want, and bookmark this page as I will be updating the post as things progress!

Thanks in advance for your help.

Do I break up with my (much older) boyfriend?

pintapicasso — Sun, 31 May 2009 17:21:39 -0800

Dead ex, fifteen year age difference, with jazzy tunes in the background.. help? (aka- do I dump my boyfriend?) I really appreciate some input on this. I need a perspective that is outside of the relationship.
Since last January I have been dating a guy on again and off again. I am 22 and he is 37. He is not a conventional 37 year old by any means - he is a (locally) well-known Jazz musician by trade, very flaky, and disorganized. He works odd jobs to make money but the driving force in his life is music. He is a loner by nature... he has a few friends, through music, but in his spare time he either hangs out alone or with me. The age difference hasn't been a huge problem because I, being 22, work odd jobs and am a bit loopy myself.
he came with a lot of baggage... his best friend and ex of eight years died unexpectedly a bit less than a year before we met and started dating. She was actually seriously dating someone else the entire time they were together.

We weren't friends first. We met, hit it off, hooked up, and kept up the routine. This is my first relationship and I really love him. He is my best friend and we have a blast together. (also the sex is great). It's wonderful to be so comfortable with someone. I think a lot of my euphoria may have to do with being in love with the relationship itself, as it's the first time I have experienced this.

Here's the problem (*dun dun dun*): One of the first few times we talked, he said that he felt "emotionally numb" after his friend died; as though he didn't feel like he would be able to have a connection like that again with someone. He said he didn't think he could date anyone for awhile, but after awhile we got together anyway. And now, over a year later, I feel like he is emotionally closed off. I was reading some poems of his in his journal (with his permission) and came across a letter he wrote to her. He was so passionate in his words, and he has never been that way with me, not to that extent ever. With me it's more playful, superficial and silly.

We also have different expectations of the time we spend together. Right now we have been spending more time together, after an off phase, and we see each other about two or three times a week. I would love to see him every other day, and at least talk to him once a day. He could go days without seeing me or talking to me (note - he saw his ex once a week at most, once every few weeks normally). He is incredibly sweet and happy to see me when we do get together, but I feel like I'm not a big part of his life.

The combination of these two things, plus all the baggage ("i'm not as independent/artistic/cool as his ex) make me really insecure. We talk about this, and I often express that I'm sad and want to see him more. And if not, I want more affirmation that I am important to him. He says that he is busy and that he just isn't up for being social, or wants to relax alone. This is the reason we (always me) decide to stop hanging out, because I am unhappy with the amount of time we spend together and I'm left wanting more. He says that he realizes the positive impact it has on me when he is open and assertive of our relationship (by calling me when he's sick, saying "I love you" bringing me flowers), but that sometimes it just feels "wrong" to be this way. (The time we spend together is always, always positive. Us expressing our appreciation for each other, being smiley, etc.. And, he never gets annoyed when I tell him I want to see him more, or when I do call him more. He just is sad that I am not always happy, and he always comes to see me in those moments.)

But we always wind up hanging out again and I have tried to cut off contact, but we always touch base after a week or so, get together, and have an awesome time. I don't know what to do. Am I a crazy punch-drunk 22 year old who needs to wake up and realize he's not going to come around? That's what my friends say but I just keep going back and they get mad. But I don't complain to them, and I keep this relationship pretty private.

We are on the upswing and I know the cycle is going to repeat itself unless I do something. To be honest, I want to know: is there even a CHANCE that he will change? and if not - and this is the main question - how do I cut this out?

(and yes, I've been casually dating other people but I just don't feel the same way about any of them).

donation pick up in manhattan?

nanhey — Tue, 26 May 2009 11:53:14 -0800

Is there any group who does clothing donation pick ups in Manhattan other than Salvation Army, Catholic Charities or NYC Opera? i have 10ish garbage bags full of good clothing that i don't want to throw away. Both Salvation Army and Catholic Charities were booked for the month when i called and the NYC Opera gave me an unfeasible pick up situation (basically anytime they felt like it within a 6 hr window -- i asked for a 15 min warning call so i could leave work, but there was no follow through and i missed them)

so is there anyone else who does donation pickups?

Sleepz?

sully75 — Fri, 22 May 2009 10:00:12 -0800

If you are really exhausted from lack of sleep and stress, x say 2 months off and on, what's the best thing to do to get back in good shape? I've had a pretty stressful couple of months (2 moves, started a crazy school program, lots of work, anxiety). I haven't been sleeping particularly well for a lot of it and also fell of my exercise routine that I'd been doing since January.

Anyway, I missed out on a lot of sleep. The last few weeks I've just felt weary. Sometimes I don't but it doesn't take much for extreme weariness to kick in.

So what do I do? I have a hard time sleeping during the day, or sleeping in. Should I force myself to lay in bed, even if I don't sleep? Or just try to get on a more regular sleep schedule and wait for things to fix themselves?

An additional problem is that I usually wake up a bit after sunrise and it's really hard to get back to sleep. And I play music at night so I'm often awake until 11 or 12. = I'm getting 6.5 hours of good sleep a night quite often, and 8 would be more like it.

Leaving.

Anonymous — Tue, 12 May 2009 19:56:20 -0800

I'm graduating. I'm leaving my girlfriend and will be far away from her, and we both don't have the option to be close for the next two years. Hence, it's ending. Any advice for feeling better? It varies recently... we decided about a week ago that it makes sense to break up when I leave. She's going abroad (the other side of the planet) next semester, and I have a job a few hours from school. She's a sophomore, and we've been dating for a semester, and it's the best we've ever experienced, happy and healthy and fun. I love her, not in the tragic Romeo&J sense, or in the must-marry sense (I hate those sense), but in the this-is-a-person-I-love sense.

But we're going our ways, and it makes sense to go those ways and remember this as a wonderful time instead of hanging on and this possibly becoming one of those strained relationships that flickers out. I think in a year I might look back and say it's the right decision, but it's damn hard to think right now.

I'd like to tell her that, in two years, if she's in the area and would like, we could get tea or something. Is that a bad idea?

I feel okay recently when I'm with her or with friends, but alone I start to feel apocalyptic. I hate that we're already talking about 'our relationship' in the past tense.

Part of asking this is just in the asking, but please, I'd appreciate any words of wisdom in this situation. I know that the rest of my life won't be tragic and terrible, but leaving the best relationship behind as well as lots of other friendships (and constantly being reassured that since I have a high-paying job, I should be happy) is killing me a little.

Thanks.

Stock

yoyo_nyc — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:00:45 -0800

How much of an equity stake in start-up should I ask for? I am a co-founder of a technology start-up but not the inventor of the technology. I helped with the business plan, will write the patents and help look for VC.

How much of an equity stake in start-up should I ask for?
I want to have one part for helping to get things running and a second part for a 2-3 year work commitment.

What is a realistic and fair share? 10% plus 10% for the commitment?
This would be 20% of the company and after financing/ stock dilution (assuming the VC would take 50% for the first financing round) I would end up with 10%.

Any suggestions?

How can i get rid of my white panda eyes after a skiing holiday?

freddymetz — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:24:13 -0800

How can i get rid of my white panda eyes after a skiing holiday? After wearing sunglasses while skiing, that area remained white while the rest of my face tanned!
What can i do about this? Ideas that come to my mind are to continue tanning with a balaclava or to apply some kind of make up that will cover it up/even it out.
If anyone really needs a picture to answer my question, i can take one!

Spring Awakening?

themaskedwonder — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:02:49 -0800

Initiating awkward hook-up time! So here's the deal, MeFi. I developed a major crush on a guy after only knowing him for about three weeks, and, in a drunken flirtation session, stupidly told him. The flirtation has since stopped - since he just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious, he thought it'd be unfair to me if we hooked up while I liked him (fair enough, I suppose). The thing is, after getting over the harshest part of the crush, I think I'd like to initiate something physical (only) with him. I have no idea how to do this, being a 21-year-old completely inexperienced hook-upper. In the past I've been pretty obvious with my crush - I was shy, awkward, unable to maintain eye contact, etc. But how do I effectively communicate this change of heart and give him the green light, so to speak? I'm afraid he wouldn't take the chance.
Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Acronis won't answer emails

Carbolic — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:47:51 -0800

I'm having a hell of a time with Acronis True Image Home 2009. My OS is VISTA. I have emailed Acronis twice with no response and have read through their support FAQ. I have a 1TB USB drive partitioned into two 500 MBs. The back up works perfectly on one partition but... I keep getting "failed to read sector X of hard disk 5" for multiple sectors on the second partition. I have run "Check local disk" in properties and checked both "Automatically fix file system errors" and "Scan for and attempt to recover bad sectors". I have run chkdsk X: /f and /r and told Acronis to ignore bad sectors (it doesn't). I've also gotten "File I/O error" and "Failed to read data from disk". Needless to say, it isn't backing up my data. If it matters the drive is NTFS.

Any suggestions??

Help me clean up after quiting smoking

citybuddha — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 11:53:11 -0800

I have recently quit smoking and am on the road to recovery. I am looking into options into cleansing programs. I know the years of smoking has probably mucked up my system with many poisons and has reeked havoc on my lungs n such. I want to hear from Me-Fis regarding any programs or treatments they know regarding any de-toxing I could be doing.

Is it too late to break up with my wife?!

kitkat09 — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 10:40:08 -0800

Is it too late to break up with my wife?! My story sounds crazy but it is true. In my culture couple gets married straight away without even knowing each other very well. It is more or less like buying a watermelon form a seller who insist that you just buy it without even grantee that it is good and sweet!. I should not have agreed :( . Any way, that what happened to me. I got married to a girl without knowing much more about her. I know her family. My mum saw her and told me that she is good for me. – Sounds crazy but honestly that what happened. I did ask about her. They told me that she is a good very well educated beautiful girl. As soon as we got married I found that she is not the right person for me although she is not bad. She lacks of self confidence and got a social phobia and has no plan for future. However, I worked very hard to avoid harming her by jumping to a decision to get divorced. I decided to give her some time in hope she will change. I was there every time to help her. I encouraged her to move on till she got her degree form a UN. Things got worse when she got pregnant. I felt that time there is no way back and I must accept her as she is a mum of my baby. Therefore, I decided instead of break up with her I would do what ever I could to make her change. She kept promise me that she will change. Nothing really changed. I couldn’t divorced her for many reason; divorce is not good for my baby life; finding another partner to marry is not easy as I have to get married again which means a lot of money need to be invested, around $ 37. 000. Also, I was very busy with my Master degree as I was part time student working and studying. Later on, I got a chance to study abroad. Many people around me said to me it is your and her chance to make change. Now, she is with me abroad with my tow kids. I encouraged her to open her eyes to learn form the new place, to learn new language, culture and got change and get rid of things at home that might holding her back. She has been here in the UK with me around three years. She has not changed that much. Now, I feel really guilty because I did not get divorce before I had my first kid; I kept dreaming that she will change and lied to my self; I don’t really lover her; she is scared of divorce idea; I lose my time coz im not in mood of studying because of her. What im concern about now is my kids 5 years and 7. I’m studying a PhD. My kids need care. They go to school. I m happy that they are here they learn here. I’m not sure how to break up with her. Peaking up according to my culture has to be official and no way back. I’m really sad, Frustrated and a afraid of making my final decision I don’t know what to do.

I can't read my book.

tylerfulltilt — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 12:44:08 -0800

Is my g4 iBook forked? I've had this machine for awhile now. It's a g4 iBook, 1ghz processor, 1gig of ram, bluetooth, wifi. And today it started acting up.

I can power it on. It will go to the dark gray screen, then it will go to the light gray screen with the dark grey apple in the middle. Then the little processing wheel will come up beneath it, the little "Hang on I'm thinking" wheel that pulses in a circle. Then a different screen comes up that tells me my computer needs to be restarted.

I've powered off and back on at least twenty different times to no avail. The computer will never fully boot up because it always thinks it needs to be restarted. I've tried taking out the battery and re inserting it. I've also tried running without the battery solely on ac power. None of that worked. I've tried the aboce in combination with holding the 4 bottom left keys and that didn't work either.

Does anyone have idea how to fix this?
If my Laptop is forked is there anyway I can salvage the data on the hard drive?

Better safe than sorry

chickaboo — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 07:37:07 -0800

My four year old desktop has started crashing on a semi regular basis and now I belatedly want to start backing up the things I have on it... help me choose an external hard drive This is mostly four years' worth of pix and music... I would like to spend less than $100... any and all suggestions welcome, someone told me to find one below 500 GB but a rudimentary internet search didn't show me many smaller ones.

What is the best Credit Card gimmick offer right now?

brenton — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:44:19 -0800

In the past I have been paid the following things to sign up for a Credit Card: a slice of pizza, a shirt, a $15 discount, and now at Amazon, a $30 discount. Are there any with a higher value than that? The reason I ask is because I'm getting a credit card anyway and I want something free. (By the way I pay the full balance every month and I have a credit score of 790.