73 posts tagged with up and break.
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Separated guy ends it what now?

My divorcing bf of 5mo ended it, saying he wants to fall in love with me and give himself wholeheartedly to me but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. He messaged next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out, I responded to say he should take the time he needs to heal. He messaged again to say he enjoyed every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself at the moment. Every time he messages it's hard as I miss him but I don't want to cut contact as I hope he'll come back. What should I do?
posted by Anastasia100 on Jun 29, 2016 - 20 answers

How can I rectify a needy relationship? I was the needy one.

Hello everyone, Gonna try to be as honest as possible so that I get better advice. I'd like insight, and not sympathy. (I mean, sympathy is nice, but truth first.) So, for the past few years, my life has not been ideal, I've moved a lot, had a lot of abusive jobs, and been super isolated. I've been trying to scrape my way out of it, but it's been difficult, and I recently reached a bad, dangerous point with my anxiety. I think I'm only now starting to get out of it. Through all of this, I had a very kind friend who was supportive and tried to help me through it. I didn't view her aid, or her sympathetic ear as out of the norm. I thought she was just being a friend...but I realize how, and this is in her own words, that she was feeling like a counselor, especially since I was not making fast improvement. [more inside]
posted by Rosengeist on Jun 28, 2016 - 24 answers

How to help friend deal with break up

My close friend was broken up with recently and I am wondering how best to comfort her. She has had a few guys hurt her one after another, and I think she probably feels quite sad about this now. I want to be a good friend, and would like some advice on the best kinds of things to say to someone in this situation. [more inside]
posted by poilkj on Jun 9, 2016 - 11 answers

I want to contact my ex -- is my reasoning sound?

I broke up with him 2 weeks ago [more inside]
posted by winterportage on May 21, 2016 - 27 answers

When Judas repents: Forgive or tell her to f*** off?

Is forgiving someone who has hurt you before and believing them when they say they won't again just naive wishful thinking? Or is it a virtue of the brave and the only path to maturity? The rest of the drama inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 34 answers

Crazy, creative ideas for bedrest AKA solitary confinement

Week two of horrendous bronchitis during which I decided to go NC (until yesterday) with long-time (ex?)boyfriend/co-dependent partner in dysfunction. Broke NC yesterday after five days straight of MD-ordered bedrest - and after texting and calling everyone I knew, including my grandma - twice. Any practical tangible ideas for how to maintain NC and my sanity, oh and I don't know, my health? Any and all welcome. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Feb 25, 2016 - 11 answers

Friendship right after a break-up?

Hi everyone, I recently broke up with a guy (met online) I dated for 4 months. We were never officially bf/gf and we never slept together. Our dates felt platonic because we never went past 2nd base. It was a mutual breakup because we both wanted different things. I wanted a committed relationship and he wasn't ready for that. When we broke up about a week ago, he said he'd like to be friends and I told him I didn't want that. I feel like I'm in a clear mindset now and I realize things ended for the right reasons but I still enjoy his company and we got along great. Is it too soon for me to suggest that we be friends and continue to hang out platonically?
posted by missybitsy on Feb 18, 2016 - 8 answers

Preserving the stability I've worked so hard to achieve

After being diagnosed with bipolar II, my partner and I accidentally built my coping strategies around my total emotional reliance on him. Now that I have my career on track and have moved into what was to be "our home," I feel my stability at risk as it truly sinks in that he is exiting the relationship, but wants to remain as friends and a support system. How can I process this grief without compromising my stability? [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Feb 17, 2016 - 19 answers

Should I fight for my relationship for our daughter's sake?

How do you decide what is more important, to fight for your family, or to fight for what you believe in, which may never happen? [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 on Feb 17, 2016 - 41 answers

Still struggling with the break up and don't know what to do?

I'm still recovering from a break up from October. It wasn't long but I fell hard for her, hard enough that I saw myself settling down with her and having a family. I didn't date anyone since my last ex, so about 3.5 years since my last real relationship. I know I probably shouldn't have started anything with my ex because I know she was going to move to New Orleans for her medical residency (I'm still in San Francisco.) [more inside]
posted by kser333 on Dec 31, 2015 - 13 answers

No fool like an old fool

How do you walk away from someone you love? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Dec 7, 2015 - 54 answers

It's not you, it's me.. or wait, it was depression!?

In the midst of a bad life patch, I tried to spare my girlfriend dealing with my shit and... that was a bad idea. Please help me do the best thing for her. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by OnTheLastCastle on Sep 11, 2015 - 19 answers

How to deal with the slow fade/ silent treatment

I think my partner may be giving me the silent treatment/ slow fade to end relationship. She has form for this kind of thing. I'm wondering whether I should pre-empt it or just stay cool? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Jul 1, 2015 - 39 answers

Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Jun 23, 2015 - 37 answers

Is my partner a narcissist? Or are we not compatible?

I'm very confused about my partner. Let's call him Robert. I'm not sure if my partner is illustrating narcissistic traits or if it is something else? Robert rarely asks about my interests, hobbies, opinions. I think he may lack listening skills and empathy skills to some degree. I think he shows care and love through action instead. He may suspect he might have Aspergers as well. I feel like Robert is always nitpicking my flaws, my goal motives, my personality, and my beliefs. Robert always seems to monopolize the conversation, making it difficult to elaborate and share my points and thoughts on the matter. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow on May 28, 2015 - 37 answers

is it time to give up on him?

I started writing this anon question in December. I don't think I actually posted it, but I kept the text file. basically, I think I need to break up with my long-term boyfriend, but I don't know how to go about it. Please confirm/deny, and help me to do this [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2015 - 30 answers

What is sexual compatibility if libido is not a problem?

Trying to get over a recent Ex who I thought was perfect except for sexual compatibility. I'm trying to unpack this concept and get advice on whether different sexual styles (libido is not a problem) is a dealbreaker. There's no chance of getting him back, but it might help me move on. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on May 5, 2015 - 15 answers

Is my partner of 6 months checking out of the relationship? Or lazy?

We're both in our mid-thirties. He still wants to hang out at least 3 nights a week. I always sleep over since his place has privacy and he pays for more things to balance out the driving. He used to be more enthusiastic about planning dates. We'd try new places to eat at and on our last date, we went dancing. The rest of the week, we still grabbed a quick meal and talked. For weeks now, he has only wanted to order takeout and watch movies. We only started the movies/takeout during a time that he had a cold for 2 weeks and the weather was subzero. It was supposed to be temporary. Now it's all the time, whether it's out of laziness or habit, or whatever. He'll go out if I ask, but it seems like he's only doing it for me. [more inside]
posted by lohachata on Mar 28, 2015 - 36 answers

Should I stay or should I go.......again?

My on and off love affair is off again.....I think. We had a row.....made up.....next day she cancelled forthcoming date....not heard from her since. Why do I care what happens next? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Nov 25, 2014 - 36 answers

How to get over someone who left you for someone else?

How I get over my ex who left me for someone else? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Aug 12, 2014 - 17 answers

Need some relationship advice in regards to giving space

Have been dating this women for a year and we recently started having arguments due to her work and other related issues. She keeps wanting space from me. [more inside]
posted by json12 on May 1, 2014 - 22 answers

Our friendship never recovered - what can I learn?

I told my friend I'd developed feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate - but we said we'd still be friends. Within three weeks we're at each other's throats and now it's all over. What the heck happened? [more inside]
posted by Henners91 on Apr 2, 2014 - 103 answers

Is our relationship over and time for us to move on?

So me and my girlfriend of 6 months got into an argument over going to her house for Thanksgiving and she ended up break up with me. [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Nov 28, 2013 - 53 answers

I'm not interested in dating or being your friend. Thanks and goodbye.

How do I tell somebody I recently met that I'm not interested romantically or even as a friend? The problem is that I'm not exactly sure whether she is looking for just a friend or something more? [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! on Oct 22, 2013 - 24 answers

Narcissist, emotionally unavailable....whatever it is someone slap me!

Prince charming to "we met at the right times in each others lives, I hope I showed you what kind of man deserves your spoils and you showed me that there are good woman out there and that I don't need to waste any more time wondering if there are." Seems condiscending to me given that I don't feel he is the type of man who deserves my spoils, and clearly I'm not that great of a woman in his eyes for him to walk out on. Help me find my closure...if you have the time...negative/positive feedback welcomed, sometimes people need to hear the hurtful truth. [more inside]
posted by love2much on Sep 17, 2013 - 26 answers

Wondering if I should go back to college

I had a talk with my gf who recently dumped me. She told me that she needed to be with someone with similar life experiences as hers. School is a big part of her life, and she is working toward a degree in medicine as well as an MBA (she already has another master's in biology). I'm 28, and at one point in my life I was very bent on finishing college, but till now I haven't been able to because of circumstances in my life. What she said made me think about my decision to postpone college for now. I have a writing business that is just now getting off the ground. I haven't even earned a two-year degree, but it hasn't stopped me from utilizing my writing talents to make a living. On the other hand though, going back to school would help me a lot in the long run to gain expertise and credibility in the fields i write in. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Aug 4, 2013 - 18 answers

Unable to get over girlfriend, everything seems hopeless now

It has been a week and a couple of days since we broke up, well more like she broke up with me after about a year and a half relationship.. I contacted her during the first few days and spoke to her as I normally would, until about the middle of last week I decided I didn't want to be used anymore as her sidelined friend so I stopped contacting her altogether. We are both young adults. [more inside]
posted by YoungConfusedMan on Apr 29, 2013 - 16 answers

My girlfriend is very upset with me and might break up with me.

I need a little bit of advice, I'm back again, this time in a different situation, as my girlfriend has become very upset with me and might break up with me. I don't know how to handle it, and I'm scared I'm going to lose her. [more inside]
posted by stonecutters88 on Apr 14, 2013 - 24 answers

Break up with a man I'm not very attracted to? Feeling crappy.

I have been dating a man for just over a month that I met online. He is 41 and I am 33. He is simply lovely: kind, attentive, complimentary, generous, funny, smart, gainfully employed, family oriented and wants children, likes me a lot, socially/environmentally conscientious, cooks well, nice sense of style, has friends, etc. And, I'm not very physically attracted to him. I am 5'2" and his profile says he is 5'7" but I think he exaggerated ~two inches and has a slight frame. He is very fit, but the cave woman in me seeks a more commanding physical partner. There are other things about his physicality and bedside manner that don't "do it" for me, either, but the main thing is that I just prefer bigger men. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes on Apr 1, 2013 - 35 answers

How do I find myself after a 9 year relationship?

My fiance and I have recently parted ways after a near 9 year relationship and it seems as though I've forgotten how to function. [more inside]
posted by KnittingBer on Mar 26, 2013 - 7 answers

He loves me, he loves me not.

Ok MeFites, help me. My best friend and her boyfriend just broke up, mostly his idea. But he says he wants to communicate still and "will always love her". She asked me what the hell this meant. I have no idea. So I'm posing the question to you relationship experts. What the hell does he want? [more inside]
posted by fresh-rn on Mar 6, 2013 - 43 answers

How do you fill the emptiness after a break up?

How do you fill the emptiness after a break up? Its now been two month since the break up and I feel like I have no interest anything anymore. I don't enjoy watching sports, my tv shows or movies like I use to. I still go to the gym and run but even time to time I am not motivated to do them. I use to complain about my job to friends and family (politics, unfairness, too much stress), but now I just go to work and I don't even complain about them anymore since all I think about is my personal stress life. I know I am depressed but do I have a bigger problem?
posted by kser333 on Jan 5, 2013 - 20 answers

How do I deal with her knowing that she is with someone else?

My girlfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago. I thought things were going well, I was even planning to propose to her. She broke it off by saying things weren't working out for her, even though she told me I was good to her. We kept in contact and still talked and texted almost everyday. Then she told me she met someone else. I was very hurt/angry when I heard this. I tried still talking but it hurt too much. I told her the other day that it was best of we didn't communicate for a while because it was hurting me. Now not talking to her for a few days only hurts me more. Should I try to contact her? What should I do? How do I deal with her knowing that she is with someone else? I'm more and more depressed everyday.
posted by kser333 on Dec 2, 2012 - 24 answers

How to break up with needy girlfriend?

Hi all, I have been together with my girlfriend for almost 3 years. It has probably been the loneliest three years of my life. [more inside]
posted by silvershadow on Nov 26, 2012 - 71 answers

Okay to move out but still be together?

Moving out but not breaking up? [more inside]
posted by Confusedteacher on Aug 30, 2012 - 66 answers

How do I understand and cope with my love leaving me?

How do I understand and cope with my love leaving me? [more inside]
posted by dt2010 on May 24, 2012 - 31 answers

Do I throw away a half-bottle of maple syrup?

Throw away or keep? A Maple Syrup love story. [more inside]
posted by LemonGardot on May 10, 2012 - 26 answers

How do I stick to my guns and break up?

I've determined that I need to get out of my current live-in romantic relationship. How do I stick to my guns and break up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2012 - 28 answers

Morally torn.

Dilemma: I plan to break up with my boyfriend but we live together. Our lease is up at the end of May. I know that the right thing to do would be to tell him now so he has time to find an apartment (I've started looking for one). What is the right thing to do here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2012 - 21 answers

Long distance relationship fizzled out, because of distance. Do I move to salvage it?

My relationship broke down because of the distance. Can it be salvaged, or do I just let it be? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2011 - 15 answers

Bitter Songs

Tell me you favorite bitter, angry songs. [more inside]
posted by catatethebird on Dec 14, 2011 - 159 answers

I miss my ex-girlfriend when we break up, but I want to be single when we're together?

I miss my ex-girlfriend when we break up, but I want to be single when we're together? [more inside]
posted by Snorlax on Dec 3, 2011 - 20 answers

Can't Commit to a Long Term Relationship

My problem is that I can't commit long term to romantic relationships. This commitment phobia automatically colors me as a bad person because the right thing to do in this society is to find that one special person and commit to them for the rest of your life. (ideally) [more inside]
posted by BettyBurnheart on Jun 30, 2011 - 36 answers

What the hell happened in this relationship? Fixable?

The relationship is not looking good, I'm trying to figure out if I can save this thing and if I can't, how the heck to get back into my own head and get her out of mine. [more inside]
posted by Nighthawk3729 on Jun 18, 2011 - 30 answers

Help me identify abusive relationship

Please help me learn how to identify an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship. I am not sure if myne has always been one, or is slowly turning into one, or is not one. [more inside]
posted by amacph10 on Jun 15, 2011 - 137 answers

Am I being taken advantage of, or does my S.O really love and deserve me?

Am I in a good relationship, or is it time to move on? When do you let someone go, even though you love them? My S.O has chronic pain and I have helped him through alot, are things about to get better for us, or would you say this is a dead-end relationship that could go on like this forever? [more inside]
posted by amacph10 on Jun 8, 2011 - 32 answers

Break-up Remorse: Reconciliation?

For 5 years, I was in a great relationship with a fantastic woman. Never crazy with infatuation, but never, ever bad. Shared values, great time together, all-in-all great. Story ends when LDR, move to a new city, and new person contribute to my decision to end things. Now I'm not sure what to do and looking for resources, related journal articles, advice from strangers. A lot of details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2011 - 20 answers

I can't move on after this break up, and I'm beating myself up for every mistake I make. How do I stop?

Having trouble moving on after a murky break up, and berating myself for my mistakes. How do I move forward? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2011 - 22 answers

Please give me some hope.

Please give me some hope. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2011 - 57 answers

Break Up Decision Filter (including a long description)

Break Up Decision Filter (including a long description) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2011 - 27 answers

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