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It's not you, it's me.. or wait, it was depression!?

In the midst of a bad life patch, I tried to spare my girlfriend dealing with my shit and... that was a bad idea. Please help me do the best thing for her. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by OnTheLastCastle on Sep 11, 2015 - 19 answers

How to lose a sofa in 10 days?..via donation and pick up.

Hi, I have a classic NYC problem that I'm sure has a simple solution. Old couch, walk up apartment, desire to replace old couch (or do we say sofa, I'm never sure) with a new one. How do people do this? [more inside]
posted by bquarters on Sep 3, 2015 - 20 answers

Non-profit Reading Materials

I'm interested in starting a political non-profit organization. Can anyone recommend some reading material for me? I'm most interested in best practices for structuring the organization, tips on administering meetings, etc. I think most of that information can be broad enough for all non-profits, but I would love any materials that talk specifically about political ones too.
posted by ZackTM on Jul 25, 2015 - 11 answers

How to deal with the slow fade/ silent treatment

I think my partner may be giving me the silent treatment/ slow fade to end relationship. She has form for this kind of thing. I'm wondering whether I should pre-empt it or just stay cool? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Jul 1, 2015 - 39 answers

Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Jun 23, 2015 - 37 answers

raw sewage in bathroom - landlord responsibility in California

There is a pile of raw sewage in my bathroom due to a blocked pipe in the apartment complex I live in. The pipe is shared by multiple units. Landlord is refusing to properly deal with situation. [more inside]
posted by AtoBtoA on Jun 21, 2015 - 13 answers

Internalised misogyny, Makeup/Clothing filter

I recently caught up with an old friend who's developed a lot of horrible opinions about women's presentation and I didn't know how to deal with it, please advise! [more inside]
posted by abbagoochie on Jun 16, 2015 - 30 answers

The Sound of a Dial-Up Modem Connecting?

I'm working on a chapter for my new book and I want to describe, quickly and concisely, the sound that old dial-up modems used to make while attempting to connect to the network. [more inside]
posted by zenpop on Jun 14, 2015 - 24 answers

How can I cope with losing a friendship that maybe was not good?

How and when to let go of a friend? And should I let go of a friend? [more inside]
posted by bananaskin on Jun 9, 2015 - 12 answers

Is my partner a narcissist? Or are we not compatible?

I'm very confused about my partner. Let's call him Robert. I'm not sure if my partner is illustrating narcissistic traits or if it is something else? Robert rarely asks about my interests, hobbies, opinions. I think he may lack listening skills and empathy skills to some degree. I think he shows care and love through action instead. He may suspect he might have Aspergers as well. I feel like Robert is always nitpicking my flaws, my goal motives, my personality, and my beliefs. Robert always seems to monopolize the conversation, making it difficult to elaborate and share my points and thoughts on the matter. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow on May 28, 2015 - 37 answers

is it time to give up on him?

I started writing this anon question in December. I don't think I actually posted it, but I kept the text file. basically, I think I need to break up with my long-term boyfriend, but I don't know how to go about it. Please confirm/deny, and help me to do this [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2015 - 30 answers

What is sexual compatibility if libido is not a problem?

Trying to get over a recent Ex who I thought was perfect except for sexual compatibility. I'm trying to unpack this concept and get advice on whether different sexual styles (libido is not a problem) is a dealbreaker. There's no chance of getting him back, but it might help me move on. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on May 5, 2015 - 15 answers

Making up my mind about job search strategy

Trying to find courage to stay in my current city when comfort at home beckons [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Apr 20, 2015 - 4 answers

Is my partner of 6 months checking out of the relationship? Or lazy?

We're both in our mid-thirties. He still wants to hang out at least 3 nights a week. I always sleep over since his place has privacy and he pays for more things to balance out the driving. He used to be more enthusiastic about planning dates. We'd try new places to eat at and on our last date, we went dancing. The rest of the week, we still grabbed a quick meal and talked. For weeks now, he has only wanted to order takeout and watch movies. We only started the movies/takeout during a time that he had a cold for 2 weeks and the weather was subzero. It was supposed to be temporary. Now it's all the time, whether it's out of laziness or habit, or whatever. He'll go out if I ask, but it seems like he's only doing it for me. [more inside]
posted by lohachata on Mar 28, 2015 - 36 answers

USB Charging, Computer vs. Line: What's the difference?

My wife's UP band quit working. When she called tech support, they told her that they had found that some of the devices would quit accepting a charge from the plug-in, and only accept a charge via the computer. She chuckled, but tried charging from the computer and it worked. Can anyone explain to me what's going on here?
posted by gteffertz on Jan 3, 2015 - 5 answers

Should I stay or should I go.......again?

My on and off love affair is off again.....I think. We had a row.....made up.....next day she cancelled forthcoming date....not heard from her since. Why do I care what happens next? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Nov 25, 2014 - 36 answers

Early risers, how do you motivate yourselves to get up early?

Early risers, how do you make getting up early a regular habit? How do you overcome grogginess and laziness? How do you resist the temptation of sleeping late the night before? How do you prevent yourself from hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock? I would ideally like to start my day at 5 am every morning. But its hard! I'd appreciate any suggestions and opinions. Thanks!!
posted by synapse2512 on Nov 14, 2014 - 50 answers

About to negotiate my first business contract. Help me get it right.

I have been offered a possible role to manage a section of a start up company. I have expertise in the area I would be managing, but I have never negotiated a contract or anything like it in business and I have no idea how it goes. I don't want to work for free, but I don't want to be inappropriately stingy with my contribution, prior to having a formal contract. [more inside]
posted by Pablito on Oct 30, 2014 - 3 answers

End it now?

Been dating someone for a bit. I am not sure about the sexual chemistry and connection, but was willing to see where it went until...she told me she is talking to her ex and doesn't know if it will become something again. Finally, taking an important test in a month or two and can't have drama. Do I break it off now to avoid messiness? [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Sep 9, 2014 - 21 answers

What does it take to launch a social media app?

I'm talking about a start-up app that is like Instagram when it first started (in terms of server needs as well as the kind of professionals that are needed to make it happen). Are there any online resources that can help a layman with a budget explore the depths of such an ominous endeavor? [more inside]
posted by cyrusw8 on Sep 4, 2014 - 3 answers

How to get over someone who left you for someone else?

How I get over my ex who left me for someone else? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Aug 12, 2014 - 17 answers

recruitment business startup... first challenging step?

I have worked in recruitment for all of five months. Having previously run a less than successful but still operating and now growing charity, I missed the security of a regular paycheck. They like my sales experience but are not as experienced in teaching one how to recruit for their sector. I have had a few offers but have not closed a sale in two months for a flat fee recruitment advertising (no headhunting) product they are halfheartedly experimenting with. Out of 22 staff, I am only the only salesperson for it. I do earn a small monthly salary and could earn a commission. Out of left field, a family friend has come forward with a big recruitment opportunity with a software company. I am currently working on a split commission deal with a work colleague on a software role but do no recruiting, only manage the business communication. I feel ashamed about it and feel I could be of better service as an independent recruiter. However, I need some advice about starting up and feel I can't really get an objective account from senior leaders in the field. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2014 - 2 answers

What should I read after watching the Up series?

I am an American who has just finished watching the Up series on Netflix, and I am wondering if there are any articles or books worth reading about the series. I would be interested in anything, but I'm particularly interested in anything that fleshes out the stories of these people's lives and also anything concerning how the series changed the lives of those portrayed (are they celebrities in the UK? etc.)
posted by imabanana on Jun 30, 2014 - 4 answers

Cabin In The Woods

I want to rent a small cabin in Michigan's Upper Peninsula for a couple of nights (June 27-29). I'm having trouble finding the things I want. [more inside]
posted by theodolite on Jun 4, 2014 - 6 answers

Need some relationship advice in regards to giving space

Have been dating this women for a year and we recently started having arguments due to her work and other related issues. She keeps wanting space from me. [more inside]
posted by json12 on May 1, 2014 - 22 answers

How can I let myself be vulnerable in my new relationship?

I think I have some messed up ideas about relationships, that are going to get in the way of me finding true intimacy and being a really good partner to someone. I want to get over these ideas but am terrified that acting in a more authentic and loving way will backfire. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 8 answers

Does she (really) love me?

Accidentally went through my girlfriends email and read what I was not supposed to read. [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Apr 4, 2014 - 43 answers

Our friendship never recovered - what can I learn?

I told my friend I'd developed feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate - but we said we'd still be friends. Within three weeks we're at each other's throats and now it's all over. What the heck happened? [more inside]
posted by Henners91 on Apr 2, 2014 - 103 answers

Switching MA programs

I'm finishing my second semester of a MA program, and am realizing that I am not happy in this program and (most importantly) it isn't fulfilling my academic and professional needs. I have identified another MA program which I know would be a good fit for me, and am considering switching. Assuming money is no object here, would I be crazy to make the switch? [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Mar 31, 2014 - 7 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

Sliding Up/Down home page window CSS like website http://nautil.us/

I love the sliding up homepage at http://nautil.us/. I'm trying to find a template or CSS/that library scripts that can help me achieve the same effect easily ?
posted by flexiverse on Feb 2, 2014 - 11 answers

MIxed up word pairs.

Does anyone else experience or have an explanation or name for this issue? There are certain words that I always seem to really need concentrate to recall. Example: "symmetrical" -- I will almost always need to scan through my vocabulary very carefully to come up with this word when I want it. Also, I will often produce "ambidextrous" as a potential response. Clearly there is a relationship between symmetry and ambidextrous, I see that it's not an outlandish mistake, but I still often have to work my way through the process, even though I KNOW this is a word pair I often have confused in the past. Similarly, "manipulative" and "exploitive". I almost have a sense of anxiety as I search the brain for one of these words because I know I will often come up with the wrong one. Again here, manipulation and exploitation have a similar quality in that they are both ways of treating others as objects, but they are clearly not synonymous. Maybe there are 3 or 4 other pairs that frustrate me as well. Anyone?
posted by mmf on Jan 26, 2014 - 12 answers

How do I know if I'm getting the brush off?

In a situation where I'm meeting up with people whom I'm potentially getting to know, how do I know if I'm getting the brush off? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 12, 2014 - 18 answers

Is our relationship over and time for us to move on?

So me and my girlfriend of 6 months got into an argument over going to her house for Thanksgiving and she ended up break up with me. [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Nov 28, 2013 - 53 answers

I'm not interested in dating or being your friend. Thanks and goodbye.

How do I tell somebody I recently met that I'm not interested romantically or even as a friend? The problem is that I'm not exactly sure whether she is looking for just a friend or something more? [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! on Oct 22, 2013 - 24 answers

What do ya'll know about starting a business?

I am finally about to graduate from a program to be a professional dog obedience instructor. I am completely clueless about what steps to take to start a business, legally at least. You are not my lawyer... but do I need one? [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Oct 2, 2013 - 7 answers

Narcissist, emotionally unavailable....whatever it is someone slap me!

Prince charming to "we met at the right times in each others lives, I hope I showed you what kind of man deserves your spoils and you showed me that there are good woman out there and that I don't need to waste any more time wondering if there are." Seems condiscending to me given that I don't feel he is the type of man who deserves my spoils, and clearly I'm not that great of a woman in his eyes for him to walk out on. Help me find my closure...if you have the time...negative/positive feedback welcomed, sometimes people need to hear the hurtful truth. [more inside]
posted by love2much on Sep 17, 2013 - 26 answers

Wondering if I should go back to college

I had a talk with my gf who recently dumped me. She told me that she needed to be with someone with similar life experiences as hers. School is a big part of her life, and she is working toward a degree in medicine as well as an MBA (she already has another master's in biology). I'm 28, and at one point in my life I was very bent on finishing college, but till now I haven't been able to because of circumstances in my life. What she said made me think about my decision to postpone college for now. I have a writing business that is just now getting off the ground. I haven't even earned a two-year degree, but it hasn't stopped me from utilizing my writing talents to make a living. On the other hand though, going back to school would help me a lot in the long run to gain expertise and credibility in the fields i write in. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Aug 4, 2013 - 18 answers

Unable to get over girlfriend, everything seems hopeless now

It has been a week and a couple of days since we broke up, well more like she broke up with me after about a year and a half relationship.. I contacted her during the first few days and spoke to her as I normally would, until about the middle of last week I decided I didn't want to be used anymore as her sidelined friend so I stopped contacting her altogether. We are both young adults. [more inside]
posted by YoungConfusedMan on Apr 29, 2013 - 16 answers

Aiming to please

We can put a man on the moon, but I can't take a leak without making a mess? [more inside]
posted by troywestfield on Apr 29, 2013 - 22 answers

Help me write my start up contract

A local web start up asked me to help start their web based business. I would be employee number 1. The venture is being funded by the founder who is a successful entrepreneur. [more inside]
posted by burlsube on Apr 26, 2013 - 5 answers

My girlfriend is very upset with me and might break up with me.

I need a little bit of advice, I'm back again, this time in a different situation, as my girlfriend has become very upset with me and might break up with me. I don't know how to handle it, and I'm scared I'm going to lose her. [more inside]
posted by stonecutters88 on Apr 14, 2013 - 24 answers

Break up with a man I'm not very attracted to? Feeling crappy.

I have been dating a man for just over a month that I met online. He is 41 and I am 33. He is simply lovely: kind, attentive, complimentary, generous, funny, smart, gainfully employed, family oriented and wants children, likes me a lot, socially/environmentally conscientious, cooks well, nice sense of style, has friends, etc. And, I'm not very physically attracted to him. I am 5'2" and his profile says he is 5'7" but I think he exaggerated ~two inches and has a slight frame. He is very fit, but the cave woman in me seeks a more commanding physical partner. There are other things about his physicality and bedside manner that don't "do it" for me, either, but the main thing is that I just prefer bigger men. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes on Apr 1, 2013 - 35 answers

How do I find myself after a 9 year relationship?

My fiance and I have recently parted ways after a near 9 year relationship and it seems as though I've forgotten how to function. [more inside]
posted by KnittingBer on Mar 26, 2013 - 7 answers

Negotiating a job compensation

From start up to a larger company-how to negotiate a job offer [more inside]
posted by pakora1 on Mar 13, 2013 - 3 answers

He loves me, he loves me not.

Ok MeFites, help me. My best friend and her boyfriend just broke up, mostly his idea. But he says he wants to communicate still and "will always love her". She asked me what the hell this meant. I have no idea. So I'm posing the question to you relationship experts. What the hell does he want? [more inside]
posted by fresh-rn on Mar 6, 2013 - 43 answers

Any way to speed up mp3 loading to audio player?

Any way to speed up mp3 loading to audio player? My computer says it will take 13 hours. Is there any way to speed this up? I'm running Windows 7 with 2.0 USB connection. Thanks so much, hive mind peeps.
posted by ragtimepiano on Feb 4, 2013 - 12 answers

It's not you, it's me - or maybe it is you? I'm not sure.

It's been 2 months. You have a great first date with a guy from internet. Chemistry! Romance! Sexual Attraction! Best first date ever. But the female has undesirable qualities. After a few more dates the female confronts the male about his intentions. He then calls her back in a passionate telephone call and says he's willing to have a go. Sadly, he seems to not really be that into her. He then again a few weeks later reiterates his fondness for the female, despite hang ups and she's now rethinking her position. [more inside]
posted by Danithegirl on Jan 15, 2013 - 28 answers

How do you fill the emptiness after a break up?

How do you fill the emptiness after a break up? Its now been two month since the break up and I feel like I have no interest anything anymore. I don't enjoy watching sports, my tv shows or movies like I use to. I still go to the gym and run but even time to time I am not motivated to do them. I use to complain about my job to friends and family (politics, unfairness, too much stress), but now I just go to work and I don't even complain about them anymore since all I think about is my personal stress life. I know I am depressed but do I have a bigger problem?
posted by kser333 on Jan 5, 2013 - 20 answers

How do I deal with her knowing that she is with someone else?

My girlfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago. I thought things were going well, I was even planning to propose to her. She broke it off by saying things weren't working out for her, even though she told me I was good to her. We kept in contact and still talked and texted almost everyday. Then she told me she met someone else. I was very hurt/angry when I heard this. I tried still talking but it hurt too much. I told her the other day that it was best of we didn't communicate for a while because it was hurting me. Now not talking to her for a few days only hurts me more. Should I try to contact her? What should I do? How do I deal with her knowing that she is with someone else? I'm more and more depressed everyday.
posted by kser333 on Dec 2, 2012 - 24 answers

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