Presently, I am going through one of the toughest times I have ever experienced: horrible heartbreak, and the loss of what was once my family and life. I am seeking recommendations on self help books possibly in the realm of self love, or learning to cope with loss and not blame yourself, not worrying, or getting out of your own head. What may be of more help is hearing other women (or mens) "survival," or that it DOES get better. [more inside]
I am looking for advice on how to co-parent effectively with someone, while you are still working on "getting over" them or moving on. What are the best steps you have taken, or you can recommend? It's feels impossible to move forward with your life and from someone you have constant contact with due to a child. [more inside]
In my latest attempt to improve my life, I have decided to give something a try that I thought impossible before: To become a morning person. [more inside]
My divorcing bf of 5mo ended it, saying he wants to fall in love with me and give himself wholeheartedly to me but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. He messaged next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out, I responded to say he should take the time he needs to heal. He messaged again to say he enjoyed every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself at the moment. Every time he messages it's hard as I miss him but I don't want to cut contact as I hope he'll come back. What should I do?
Hello everyone, Gonna try to be as honest as possible so that I get better advice. I'd like insight, and not sympathy. (I mean, sympathy is nice, but truth first.) So, for the past few years, my life has not been ideal, I've moved a lot, had a lot of abusive jobs, and been super isolated. I've been trying to scrape my way out of it, but it's been difficult, and I recently reached a bad, dangerous point with my anxiety. I think I'm only now starting to get out of it. Through all of this, I had a very kind friend who was supportive and tried to help me through it. I didn't view her aid, or her sympathetic ear as out of the norm. I thought she was just being a friend...but I realize how, and this is in her own words, that she was feeling like a counselor, especially since I was not making fast improvement. [more inside]
My close friend was broken up with recently and I am wondering how best to comfort her. She has had a few guys hurt her one after another, and I think she probably feels quite sad about this now. I want to be a good friend, and would like some advice on the best kinds of things to say to someone in this situation. [more inside]
I'm looking for a generator that will power a landline phone and medical alert system during a power outage. [more inside]
I broke up with him 2 weeks ago [more inside]
I'm a shy person and it seems like I will always be this way. As I've grown older (I'm in my late 20s) I've learned to cope with my personality quirks and to modify certain negative aspects of my social self, but overall I think that socializing and entering new situations will always be a little bit tough for me. But I still would like to challenge my character and learn to open up more. [more inside]
Is forgiving someone who has hurt you before and believing them when they say they won't again just naive wishful thinking? Or is it a virtue of the brave and the only path to maturity? The rest of the drama inside. [more inside]
Tomorrow is my last day at a job I’ve been at for years. For all that time, the company has owned my only computer and my only phone. Much of what’s on both is the company’s, and of course I’ll leave that behind. There are some personal documents that I know are mine, and I know how to keep them. Is there other stuff tucked away on the Mac or the iPhone that I may want to keep? What, and how? [more inside]
Week two of horrendous bronchitis during which I decided to go NC (until yesterday) with long-time (ex?)boyfriend/co-dependent partner in dysfunction. Broke NC yesterday after five days straight of MD-ordered bedrest - and after texting and calling everyone I knew, including my grandma - twice. Any practical tangible ideas for how to maintain NC and my sanity, oh and I don't know, my health? Any and all welcome. Thanks. [more inside]
Hi everyone, I recently broke up with a guy (met online) I dated for 4 months. We were never officially bf/gf and we never slept together. Our dates felt platonic because we never went past 2nd base. It was a mutual breakup because we both wanted different things. I wanted a committed relationship and he wasn't ready for that. When we broke up about a week ago, he said he'd like to be friends and I told him I didn't want that. I feel like I'm in a clear mindset now and I realize things ended for the right reasons but I still enjoy his company and we got along great. Is it too soon for me to suggest that we be friends and continue to hang out platonically?
After being diagnosed with bipolar II, my partner and I accidentally built my coping strategies around my total emotional reliance on him. Now that I have my career on track and have moved into what was to be "our home," I feel my stability at risk as it truly sinks in that he is exiting the relationship, but wants to remain as friends and a support system. How can I process this grief without compromising my stability? [more inside]
How do you decide what is more important, to fight for your family, or to fight for what you believe in, which may never happen? [more inside]
After having gone through cancer and mental illness together, the love of my life and I are on the verge of splitting up for good. How can I best try to salvage the relationship? Details below. [more inside]
I'm still recovering from a break up from October. It wasn't long but I fell hard for her, hard enough that I saw myself settling down with her and having a family. I didn't date anyone since my last ex, so about 3.5 years since my last real relationship. I know I probably shouldn't have started anything with my ex because I know she was going to move to New Orleans for her medical residency (I'm still in San Francisco.) [more inside]
How do you walk away from someone you love? [more inside]
In the midst of a bad life patch, I tried to spare my girlfriend dealing with my shit and... that was a bad idea. Please help me do the best thing for her. Details inside. [more inside]
Hi, I have a classic NYC problem that I'm sure has a simple solution. Old couch, walk up apartment, desire to replace old couch (or do we say sofa, I'm never sure) with a new one. How do people do this? [more inside]
I'm interested in starting a political non-profit organization. Can anyone recommend some reading material for me? I'm most interested in best practices for structuring the organization, tips on administering meetings, etc. I think most of that information can be broad enough for all non-profits, but I would love any materials that talk specifically about political ones too.
I think my partner may be giving me the silent treatment/ slow fade to end relationship. She has form for this kind of thing. I'm wondering whether I should pre-empt it or just stay cool? [more inside]
I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
There is a pile of raw sewage in my bathroom due to a blocked pipe in the apartment complex I live in. The pipe is shared by multiple units. Landlord is refusing to properly deal with situation. [more inside]
I recently caught up with an old friend who's developed a lot of horrible opinions about women's presentation and I didn't know how to deal with it, please advise! [more inside]
I'm working on a chapter for my new book and I want to describe, quickly and concisely, the sound that old dial-up modems used to make while attempting to connect to the network. [more inside]
How and when to let go of a friend? And should I let go of a friend? [more inside]
I'm very confused about my partner. Let's call him Robert. I'm not sure if my partner is illustrating narcissistic traits or if it is something else? Robert rarely asks about my interests, hobbies, opinions. I think he may lack listening skills and empathy skills to some degree. I think he shows care and love through action instead. He may suspect he might have Aspergers as well. I feel like Robert is always nitpicking my flaws, my goal motives, my personality, and my beliefs. Robert always seems to monopolize the conversation, making it difficult to elaborate and share my points and thoughts on the matter. [more inside]
I started writing this anon question in December. I don't think I actually posted it, but I kept the text file. basically, I think I need to break up with my long-term boyfriend, but I don't know how to go about it. Please confirm/deny, and help me to do this [more inside]
Trying to get over a recent Ex who I thought was perfect except for sexual compatibility. I'm trying to unpack this concept and get advice on whether different sexual styles (libido is not a problem) is a dealbreaker. There's no chance of getting him back, but it might help me move on. [more inside]
Trying to find courage to stay in my current city when comfort at home beckons [more inside]
We're both in our mid-thirties. He still wants to hang out at least 3 nights a week. I always sleep over since his place has privacy and he pays for more things to balance out the driving. He used to be more enthusiastic about planning dates. We'd try new places to eat at and on our last date, we went dancing. The rest of the week, we still grabbed a quick meal and talked. For weeks now, he has only wanted to order takeout and watch movies. We only started the movies/takeout during a time that he had a cold for 2 weeks and the weather was subzero. It was supposed to be temporary. Now it's all the time, whether it's out of laziness or habit, or whatever. He'll go out if I ask, but it seems like he's only doing it for me. [more inside]
My wife's UP band quit working. When she called tech support, they told her that they had found that some of the devices would quit accepting a charge from the plug-in, and only accept a charge via the computer. She chuckled, but tried charging from the computer and it worked. Can anyone explain to me what's going on here?
My on and off love affair is off again.....I think. We had a row.....made up.....next day she cancelled forthcoming date....not heard from her since. Why do I care what happens next? [more inside]
Early risers, how do you make getting up early a regular habit? How do you overcome grogginess and laziness? How do you resist the temptation of sleeping late the night before? How do you prevent yourself from hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock? I would ideally like to start my day at 5 am every morning. But its hard! I'd appreciate any suggestions and opinions. Thanks!!
I have been offered a possible role to manage a section of a start up company. I have expertise in the area I would be managing, but I have never negotiated a contract or anything like it in business and I have no idea how it goes. I don't want to work for free, but I don't want to be inappropriately stingy with my contribution, prior to having a formal contract. [more inside]
Been dating someone for a bit. I am not sure about the sexual chemistry and connection, but was willing to see where it went until...she told me she is talking to her ex and doesn't know if it will become something again. Finally, taking an important test in a month or two and can't have drama. Do I break it off now to avoid messiness? [more inside]
I'm talking about a start-up app that is like Instagram when it first started (in terms of server needs as well as the kind of professionals that are needed to make it happen). Are there any online resources that can help a layman with a budget explore the depths of such an ominous endeavor? [more inside]
How I get over my ex who left me for someone else? [more inside]
I have worked in recruitment for all of five months. Having previously run a less than successful but still operating and now growing charity, I missed the security of a regular paycheck. They like my sales experience but are not as experienced in teaching one how to recruit for their sector. I have had a few offers but have not closed a sale in two months for a flat fee recruitment advertising (no headhunting) product they are halfheartedly experimenting with. Out of 22 staff, I am only the only salesperson for it. I do earn a small monthly salary and could earn a commission. Out of left field, a family friend has come forward with a big recruitment opportunity with a software company. I am currently working on a split commission deal with a work colleague on a software role but do no recruiting, only manage the business communication. I feel ashamed about it and feel I could be of better service as an independent recruiter. However, I need some advice about starting up and feel I can't really get an objective account from senior leaders in the field. [more inside]
I am an American who has just finished watching the Up series on Netflix, and I am wondering if there are any articles or books worth reading about the series. I would be interested in anything, but I'm particularly interested in anything that fleshes out the stories of these people's lives and also anything concerning how the series changed the lives of those portrayed (are they celebrities in the UK? etc.)
I want to rent a small cabin in Michigan's Upper Peninsula for a couple of nights (June 27-29). I'm having trouble finding the things I want. [more inside]
Have been dating this women for a year and we recently started having arguments due to her work and other related issues. She keeps wanting space from me. [more inside]
I think I have some messed up ideas about relationships, that are going to get in the way of me finding true intimacy and being a really good partner to someone. I want to get over these ideas but am terrified that acting in a more authentic and loving way will backfire. Hope me? [more inside]
Accidentally went through my girlfriends email and read what I was not supposed to read. [more inside]
I told my friend I'd developed feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate - but we said we'd still be friends. Within three weeks we're at each other's throats and now it's all over. What the heck happened? [more inside]
I'm finishing my second semester of a MA program, and am realizing that I am not happy in this program and (most importantly) it isn't fulfilling my academic and professional needs. I have identified another MA program which I know would be a good fit for me, and am considering switching. Assuming money is no object here, would I be crazy to make the switch? [more inside]
I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
I love the sliding up homepage at http://nautil.us/. I'm trying to find a template or CSS/that library scripts that can help me achieve the same effect easily ?
Does anyone else experience or have an explanation or name for this issue? There are certain words that I always seem to really need concentrate to recall. Example: "symmetrical" -- I will almost always need to scan through my vocabulary very carefully to come up with this word when I want it. Also, I will often produce "ambidextrous" as a potential response. Clearly there is a relationship between symmetry and ambidextrous, I see that it's not an outlandish mistake, but I still often have to work my way through the process, even though I KNOW this is a word pair I often have confused in the past. Similarly, "manipulative" and "exploitive". I almost have a sense of anxiety as I search the brain for one of these words because I know I will often come up with the wrong one. Again here, manipulation and exploitation have a similar quality in that they are both ways of treating others as objects, but they are clearly not synonymous. Maybe there are 3 or 4 other pairs that frustrate me as well. Anyone?