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Self help book recommendations on self love & personal stories of growth

Presently, I am going through one of the toughest times I have ever experienced: horrible heartbreak, and the loss of what was once my family and life. I am seeking recommendations on self help books possibly in the realm of self love, or learning to cope with loss and not blame yourself, not worrying, or getting out of your own head. What may be of more help is hearing other women (or mens) "survival," or that it DOES get better. [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 on Aug 24, 2016 - 14 answers

How to co-parent with someone you still love?

I am looking for advice on how to co-parent effectively with someone, while you are still working on "getting over" them or moving on. What are the best steps you have taken, or you can recommend? It's feels impossible to move forward with your life and from someone you have constant contact with due to a child. [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 on Aug 15, 2016 - 10 answers

Can one become a morning person? Have you successfully done it?

In my latest attempt to improve my life, I have decided to give something a try that I thought impossible before: To become a morning person. [more inside]
posted by LarryMan on Jul 7, 2016 - 37 answers

Separated guy ends it what now?

My divorcing bf of 5mo ended it, saying he wants to fall in love with me and give himself wholeheartedly to me but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. He messaged next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out, I responded to say he should take the time he needs to heal. He messaged again to say he enjoyed every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself at the moment. Every time he messages it's hard as I miss him but I don't want to cut contact as I hope he'll come back. What should I do?
posted by Anastasia100 on Jun 29, 2016 - 20 answers

How can I rectify a needy relationship? I was the needy one.

Hello everyone, Gonna try to be as honest as possible so that I get better advice. I'd like insight, and not sympathy. (I mean, sympathy is nice, but truth first.) So, for the past few years, my life has not been ideal, I've moved a lot, had a lot of abusive jobs, and been super isolated. I've been trying to scrape my way out of it, but it's been difficult, and I recently reached a bad, dangerous point with my anxiety. I think I'm only now starting to get out of it. Through all of this, I had a very kind friend who was supportive and tried to help me through it. I didn't view her aid, or her sympathetic ear as out of the norm. I thought she was just being a friend...but I realize how, and this is in her own words, that she was feeling like a counselor, especially since I was not making fast improvement. [more inside]
posted by Rosengeist on Jun 28, 2016 - 24 answers

How to help friend deal with break up

My close friend was broken up with recently and I am wondering how best to comfort her. She has had a few guys hurt her one after another, and I think she probably feels quite sad about this now. I want to be a good friend, and would like some advice on the best kinds of things to say to someone in this situation. [more inside]
posted by poilkj on Jun 9, 2016 - 11 answers

What kind of generator do I want?

I'm looking for a generator that will power a landline phone and medical alert system during a power outage. [more inside]
posted by fozzie_bear on May 31, 2016 - 12 answers

I want to contact my ex -- is my reasoning sound?

I broke up with him 2 weeks ago [more inside]
posted by winterportage on May 21, 2016 - 27 answers

Trouble talking about myself

I'm a shy person and it seems like I will always be this way. As I've grown older (I'm in my late 20s) I've learned to cope with my personality quirks and to modify certain negative aspects of my social self, but overall I think that socializing and entering new situations will always be a little bit tough for me. But I still would like to challenge my character and learn to open up more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 4 answers

When Judas repents: Forgive or tell her to f*** off?

Is forgiving someone who has hurt you before and believing them when they say they won't again just naive wishful thinking? Or is it a virtue of the brave and the only path to maturity? The rest of the drama inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 34 answers

Where is my Mac (and maybe my iphone?) hiding stuff I may need?

Tomorrow is my last day at a job I’ve been at for years. For all that time, the company has owned my only computer and my only phone. Much of what’s on both is the company’s, and of course I’ll leave that behind. There are some personal documents that I know are mine, and I know how to keep them. Is there other stuff tucked away on the Mac or the iPhone that I may want to keep? What, and how? [more inside]
posted by daisyace on May 4, 2016 - 5 answers

Crazy, creative ideas for bedrest AKA solitary confinement

Week two of horrendous bronchitis during which I decided to go NC (until yesterday) with long-time (ex?)boyfriend/co-dependent partner in dysfunction. Broke NC yesterday after five days straight of MD-ordered bedrest - and after texting and calling everyone I knew, including my grandma - twice. Any practical tangible ideas for how to maintain NC and my sanity, oh and I don't know, my health? Any and all welcome. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Feb 25, 2016 - 11 answers

Friendship right after a break-up?

Hi everyone, I recently broke up with a guy (met online) I dated for 4 months. We were never officially bf/gf and we never slept together. Our dates felt platonic because we never went past 2nd base. It was a mutual breakup because we both wanted different things. I wanted a committed relationship and he wasn't ready for that. When we broke up about a week ago, he said he'd like to be friends and I told him I didn't want that. I feel like I'm in a clear mindset now and I realize things ended for the right reasons but I still enjoy his company and we got along great. Is it too soon for me to suggest that we be friends and continue to hang out platonically?
posted by missybitsy on Feb 18, 2016 - 8 answers

Preserving the stability I've worked so hard to achieve

After being diagnosed with bipolar II, my partner and I accidentally built my coping strategies around my total emotional reliance on him. Now that I have my career on track and have moved into what was to be "our home," I feel my stability at risk as it truly sinks in that he is exiting the relationship, but wants to remain as friends and a support system. How can I process this grief without compromising my stability? [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Feb 17, 2016 - 19 answers

Should I fight for my relationship for our daughter's sake?

How do you decide what is more important, to fight for your family, or to fight for what you believe in, which may never happen? [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 on Feb 17, 2016 - 41 answers

How do I navigate the break-up with my first and only love (at age 30)

After having gone through cancer and mental illness together, the love of my life and I are on the verge of splitting up for good. How can I best try to salvage the relationship? Details below. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Jan 27, 2016 - 35 answers

Still struggling with the break up and don't know what to do?

I'm still recovering from a break up from October. It wasn't long but I fell hard for her, hard enough that I saw myself settling down with her and having a family. I didn't date anyone since my last ex, so about 3.5 years since my last real relationship. I know I probably shouldn't have started anything with my ex because I know she was going to move to New Orleans for her medical residency (I'm still in San Francisco.) [more inside]
posted by kser333 on Dec 31, 2015 - 13 answers

No fool like an old fool

How do you walk away from someone you love? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Dec 7, 2015 - 54 answers

It's not you, it's me.. or wait, it was depression!?

In the midst of a bad life patch, I tried to spare my girlfriend dealing with my shit and... that was a bad idea. Please help me do the best thing for her. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by OnTheLastCastle on Sep 11, 2015 - 19 answers

How to lose a sofa in 10 days?..via donation and pick up.

Hi, I have a classic NYC problem that I'm sure has a simple solution. Old couch, walk up apartment, desire to replace old couch (or do we say sofa, I'm never sure) with a new one. How do people do this? [more inside]
posted by bquarters on Sep 3, 2015 - 20 answers

Non-profit Reading Materials

I'm interested in starting a political non-profit organization. Can anyone recommend some reading material for me? I'm most interested in best practices for structuring the organization, tips on administering meetings, etc. I think most of that information can be broad enough for all non-profits, but I would love any materials that talk specifically about political ones too.
posted by ZackTM on Jul 25, 2015 - 11 answers

How to deal with the slow fade/ silent treatment

I think my partner may be giving me the silent treatment/ slow fade to end relationship. She has form for this kind of thing. I'm wondering whether I should pre-empt it or just stay cool? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Jul 1, 2015 - 39 answers

Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Jun 23, 2015 - 37 answers

raw sewage in bathroom - landlord responsibility in California

There is a pile of raw sewage in my bathroom due to a blocked pipe in the apartment complex I live in. The pipe is shared by multiple units. Landlord is refusing to properly deal with situation. [more inside]
posted by AtoBtoA on Jun 21, 2015 - 13 answers

Internalised misogyny, Makeup/Clothing filter

I recently caught up with an old friend who's developed a lot of horrible opinions about women's presentation and I didn't know how to deal with it, please advise! [more inside]
posted by abbagoochie on Jun 16, 2015 - 30 answers

The Sound of a Dial-Up Modem Connecting?

I'm working on a chapter for my new book and I want to describe, quickly and concisely, the sound that old dial-up modems used to make while attempting to connect to the network. [more inside]
posted by zenpop on Jun 14, 2015 - 24 answers

How can I cope with losing a friendship that maybe was not good?

How and when to let go of a friend? And should I let go of a friend? [more inside]
posted by bananaskin on Jun 9, 2015 - 12 answers

Is my partner a narcissist? Or are we not compatible?

I'm very confused about my partner. Let's call him Robert. I'm not sure if my partner is illustrating narcissistic traits or if it is something else? Robert rarely asks about my interests, hobbies, opinions. I think he may lack listening skills and empathy skills to some degree. I think he shows care and love through action instead. He may suspect he might have Aspergers as well. I feel like Robert is always nitpicking my flaws, my goal motives, my personality, and my beliefs. Robert always seems to monopolize the conversation, making it difficult to elaborate and share my points and thoughts on the matter. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow on May 28, 2015 - 37 answers

is it time to give up on him?

I started writing this anon question in December. I don't think I actually posted it, but I kept the text file. basically, I think I need to break up with my long-term boyfriend, but I don't know how to go about it. Please confirm/deny, and help me to do this [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2015 - 30 answers

What is sexual compatibility if libido is not a problem?

Trying to get over a recent Ex who I thought was perfect except for sexual compatibility. I'm trying to unpack this concept and get advice on whether different sexual styles (libido is not a problem) is a dealbreaker. There's no chance of getting him back, but it might help me move on. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on May 5, 2015 - 15 answers

Making up my mind about job search strategy

Trying to find courage to stay in my current city when comfort at home beckons [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Apr 20, 2015 - 4 answers

Is my partner of 6 months checking out of the relationship? Or lazy?

We're both in our mid-thirties. He still wants to hang out at least 3 nights a week. I always sleep over since his place has privacy and he pays for more things to balance out the driving. He used to be more enthusiastic about planning dates. We'd try new places to eat at and on our last date, we went dancing. The rest of the week, we still grabbed a quick meal and talked. For weeks now, he has only wanted to order takeout and watch movies. We only started the movies/takeout during a time that he had a cold for 2 weeks and the weather was subzero. It was supposed to be temporary. Now it's all the time, whether it's out of laziness or habit, or whatever. He'll go out if I ask, but it seems like he's only doing it for me. [more inside]
posted by lohachata on Mar 28, 2015 - 36 answers

USB Charging, Computer vs. Line: What's the difference?

My wife's UP band quit working. When she called tech support, they told her that they had found that some of the devices would quit accepting a charge from the plug-in, and only accept a charge via the computer. She chuckled, but tried charging from the computer and it worked. Can anyone explain to me what's going on here?
posted by gteffertz on Jan 3, 2015 - 5 answers

Should I stay or should I go.......again?

My on and off love affair is off again.....I think. We had a row.....made up.....next day she cancelled forthcoming date....not heard from her since. Why do I care what happens next? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Nov 25, 2014 - 36 answers

Early risers, how do you motivate yourselves to get up early?

Early risers, how do you make getting up early a regular habit? How do you overcome grogginess and laziness? How do you resist the temptation of sleeping late the night before? How do you prevent yourself from hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock? I would ideally like to start my day at 5 am every morning. But its hard! I'd appreciate any suggestions and opinions. Thanks!!
posted by synapse2512 on Nov 14, 2014 - 50 answers

About to negotiate my first business contract. Help me get it right.

I have been offered a possible role to manage a section of a start up company. I have expertise in the area I would be managing, but I have never negotiated a contract or anything like it in business and I have no idea how it goes. I don't want to work for free, but I don't want to be inappropriately stingy with my contribution, prior to having a formal contract. [more inside]
posted by Pablito on Oct 30, 2014 - 3 answers

End it now?

Been dating someone for a bit. I am not sure about the sexual chemistry and connection, but was willing to see where it went until...she told me she is talking to her ex and doesn't know if it will become something again. Finally, taking an important test in a month or two and can't have drama. Do I break it off now to avoid messiness? [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Sep 9, 2014 - 21 answers

What does it take to launch a social media app?

I'm talking about a start-up app that is like Instagram when it first started (in terms of server needs as well as the kind of professionals that are needed to make it happen). Are there any online resources that can help a layman with a budget explore the depths of such an ominous endeavor? [more inside]
posted by cyrusw8 on Sep 4, 2014 - 3 answers

How to get over someone who left you for someone else?

How I get over my ex who left me for someone else? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Aug 12, 2014 - 17 answers

recruitment business startup... first challenging step?

I have worked in recruitment for all of five months. Having previously run a less than successful but still operating and now growing charity, I missed the security of a regular paycheck. They like my sales experience but are not as experienced in teaching one how to recruit for their sector. I have had a few offers but have not closed a sale in two months for a flat fee recruitment advertising (no headhunting) product they are halfheartedly experimenting with. Out of 22 staff, I am only the only salesperson for it. I do earn a small monthly salary and could earn a commission. Out of left field, a family friend has come forward with a big recruitment opportunity with a software company. I am currently working on a split commission deal with a work colleague on a software role but do no recruiting, only manage the business communication. I feel ashamed about it and feel I could be of better service as an independent recruiter. However, I need some advice about starting up and feel I can't really get an objective account from senior leaders in the field. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2014 - 2 answers

What should I read after watching the Up series?

I am an American who has just finished watching the Up series on Netflix, and I am wondering if there are any articles or books worth reading about the series. I would be interested in anything, but I'm particularly interested in anything that fleshes out the stories of these people's lives and also anything concerning how the series changed the lives of those portrayed (are they celebrities in the UK? etc.)
posted by imabanana on Jun 30, 2014 - 4 answers

Cabin In The Woods

I want to rent a small cabin in Michigan's Upper Peninsula for a couple of nights (June 27-29). I'm having trouble finding the things I want. [more inside]
posted by theodolite on Jun 4, 2014 - 6 answers

Need some relationship advice in regards to giving space

Have been dating this women for a year and we recently started having arguments due to her work and other related issues. She keeps wanting space from me. [more inside]
posted by json12 on May 1, 2014 - 22 answers

How can I let myself be vulnerable in my new relationship?

I think I have some messed up ideas about relationships, that are going to get in the way of me finding true intimacy and being a really good partner to someone. I want to get over these ideas but am terrified that acting in a more authentic and loving way will backfire. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 8 answers

Does she (really) love me?

Accidentally went through my girlfriends email and read what I was not supposed to read. [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Apr 4, 2014 - 43 answers

Our friendship never recovered - what can I learn?

I told my friend I'd developed feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate - but we said we'd still be friends. Within three weeks we're at each other's throats and now it's all over. What the heck happened? [more inside]
posted by Henners91 on Apr 2, 2014 - 103 answers

Switching MA programs

I'm finishing my second semester of a MA program, and am realizing that I am not happy in this program and (most importantly) it isn't fulfilling my academic and professional needs. I have identified another MA program which I know would be a good fit for me, and am considering switching. Assuming money is no object here, would I be crazy to make the switch? [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Mar 31, 2014 - 7 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

Sliding Up/Down home page window CSS like website http://nautil.us/

I love the sliding up homepage at http://nautil.us/. I'm trying to find a template or CSS/that library scripts that can help me achieve the same effect easily ?
posted by flexiverse on Feb 2, 2014 - 11 answers

MIxed up word pairs.

Does anyone else experience or have an explanation or name for this issue? There are certain words that I always seem to really need concentrate to recall. Example: "symmetrical" -- I will almost always need to scan through my vocabulary very carefully to come up with this word when I want it. Also, I will often produce "ambidextrous" as a potential response. Clearly there is a relationship between symmetry and ambidextrous, I see that it's not an outlandish mistake, but I still often have to work my way through the process, even though I KNOW this is a word pair I often have confused in the past. Similarly, "manipulative" and "exploitive". I almost have a sense of anxiety as I search the brain for one of these words because I know I will often come up with the wrong one. Again here, manipulation and exploitation have a similar quality in that they are both ways of treating others as objects, but they are clearly not synonymous. Maybe there are 3 or 4 other pairs that frustrate me as well. Anyone?
posted by mmf on Jan 26, 2014 - 12 answers

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