Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with tween

Hosting my first-ever birthday party - and it's for a preteen!

parilous — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:57:57 -0800

I am throwing my first birthday party ever, for my pre-teen niece. Needless to say, I'm completely out of touch when it comes to kids' birthday parties (having not attended any since the 1980s) and don't know what's considered typical and usual. Please share your experiences and advice. This is probably an easy AskMe, but I'm really clueless when it comes to logistics of a kids' birthday party.

1. Cost. How much do these typical things cost? We were thinking of a budget of $150 for the party and another $20 for the cake/ice cream. Is that realistic for a girl of her age, or is it on the low side? Guest count will likely be 6-15 people.

2. Goody bags. Are they still required/expected, or are they passe? If they're still expected, what kind of stuff to put in male/female goody bags for 6th-going-on-7th graders that costs less than about $30 total?

3. Invitations. There's no rule at her school about having to invite everyone in her class, so how do we do this? Her birthday is in July and school finishes on May 22nd -- do kids use "save the dates"? Or how is it that kids relay the information about the birthday party back to the parents BEFORE we're able to give them an ACTUAL invitation?

(We can't send out specific invitations because what we do depends on how many kids can attend. We basically have to test the waters to see how many kids can likely attend and then we pick the party location, sending out the invitations when we know for sure.)

4. Unexpected guests. Is there a way to word the invitations that indicates that we're only reserving/paying for the number of people that RSVP and that any unexpected arrivals -- including parents who want to stay for the party -- will be asked to pay their own admission, or is that poor etiquette?

5. Opening gifts. Are gifts opened at the party? Do they have to be? Should they be? If they are, should the birthday kid still send out "thank yous" or is opening the gifts and thanking the gifter in public sufficient?

6. Bringing in the birthday cake. Most of the places allow you to bring in a birthday cake. One of the party ideas we have is to send the kids to a matinee movie. Has anyone ever tried doing the birthday cake thing in a mall Food Court? Is it better to get forgiveness (at the time, surrounded by a dozen pre-teens) rather than permission (where it could easily be denied)?

7. Is there anything that I'm missing that is considered standard at parties nowadays? The poor kid has been through a lot; I want to make her birthday as normal, usual, and predictable as possible.

Also, a caveat: I do data analysis for a living. I also single-handedly planned our wedding for 120 people. It is entirely possible that I'm overthinking this whole process.

Birthday present for tween girl who has everything?

cocoagirl — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 12:35:23 -0800

Stumped for birthday present filter: Ideas for a 12-year-old girl who has everything? Help with a present for a niece, please? She's going to be 12 but seems younger than that--definitely more "12 going on 10" than "12 going on 29." She has just about everything you can think of (iPod, Harry Potter set, projection tv, digital camera, cats, dogs, iPhone, clothes, tennis lessons, seen cirque du soleil several times) and things I wouldn't have thought of (designed a dress which was then hand sewn by someone). We gave her an electric guitar one year.

Her dad's an early adopter gadget-wise, so she has lots of gear. She travels extensively with her parents--both long international trips and short domestic jaunts--so even a present of a trip somewhere doesn't have the sheen it might for someone else. For other kids her age I've given bunches of movie vouchers so they can go to the movies with a group of friends. From what I can tell over the last few years, she doesn't really have a clique and is a bit introverted. She lives quite rurally, which might have something to do with it. I don't think boys are on the radar screen, at least explicitly. My only idea so far is an evening at the theater with us and dinner beforehand. But in our families, scheduling an event like this tends to drag on and then no longer feels like a birthday present when it actually arrives months later. I've read all the posts with the tag 'birthday' with no real leads.

Any ideas?

Girls go online

eatdonuts — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 13:10:11 -0800

Top websites for girls 9-14? Help me help my girlie tween find something fun online. Does anyone know where I can find a listing of top sites (for girls) for the ages of 9-14? I have a female 11 year old 'tween (who's very girlie) interested in something 'fun' to do online. Not really interested in 'direct buy' stuff like the webkinz's stuffed animal, more of maybe a community space for girls the age, games, etc. Is there a service that lists these kind of popular specialty interests sites?

how do i spy on tweenage style?

crush-onastick — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 11:11:53 -0800

bizarre consulting question. a friend of mine in a creative field has decided i'm the most fashionable person he knows. despite the fact that i'm a lawyer and have no children, he wants me to find out how a hip, cutting-edge tweenie girl would dress. aside from lurking around outside the local middle school (and reading your standard tween rags), what can i do to gather the necessary data? he's asked me not to divulge any other information about the porject, beyond hip, cutting edge, american tween girl. not girly, but not necessarily eschewing the onset of femininity either. no particular region. anything is useful: accutrement, accessories, style, heroes of the tween age.

the closest kid in my life, alas, does not fit the bill (too young, too rural).

Tween Music Intervention

GrumpyMonkey — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 07:10:59 -0800

I need some advice with music for my tween (10.5 year old) niece. The family was on vacation together and I was looking at her iPod and it was chock full of Brittney Spears and Kelly Clarkston etc... and that makes me sad. Granted, I understand that she is young and will grow out of that but I really want to get her horizons broadened early. Any suggestions or thoughts? I am trying to stick to songs that are young kid friendly (little to no swearing, sex and drugs etc...) and not too out there which will make a nice transition for her.

People at the office have suggested Maroon 5, Justin Timberlake and that style, I have been thinking along the lines of Kasey Chambers, Jack Johnson, Gnarls Barkley.