266 posts tagged with trust.
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I can't ex, he can. How to relationship?

Long-term lovers: can two people who identify with opposing schools of thought on exes and opposite-sex friends coexist happily? I want him to stop talking to his ex completely. He'll do it (and loves/respects me), but he thinks it's overkill. [more inside]
posted by doctordrey on Nov 1, 2016 - 82 answers

I need an intervention with my fiance before it's too late.

I am in a crisis situation with my SO. We are engaged with a wedding date less than 8 months away. While she is busy planning the wedding, I am spending more and more of my free time worrying about everything that is wrong with our relationship. As much as I'm praying that we can work through our issues, our fights have become more frequent and nastier. As a result, I'm experiencing major anxiety related to the upcoming wedding. I'm going to have a conversation with her about my feelings but am genuinely torn about what decision to make: keep the wedding date and try to work through our issues vs. postpone the wedding and work through our issues vs. cancel the engagement altogether vs. break up. Based on the relationship dynamics I describe below, what is everyone's advice as to the best course of action to take? To postpone the wedding & work through the issues seems like the most logical path, but my gut feeling tells me that she won't be receptive to that idea. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2016 - 64 answers

Long distance boyfriend is emotionally distant after an argument

My long distance boyfriend of a year was seeing someone else when first started dating. This information came out recently and caused a rough period and a few arguments about trust. He’s been with me most of the last few weeks to work through it, but now he’s gone home. He’s become distant and I don’t know where the relationship stands. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by wreckofthehesperus on Sep 20, 2016 - 30 answers

And then there were two.

My wonderful partner and I are looking for resources on how to strengthen our relationship and move on from some past issues. We are already set to attend couples counseling and are looking for things we can practice and dedicate energy to in the interim. What are things that you've done in your own relationships to make them stronger? We are especially interested in advice concerning trust building.
posted by Marinara on Sep 15, 2016 - 7 answers

The Room Where It Happens

How do you trust yourself? How do you draw upon a consistent sense of your goals and preferences and actual emotions about things? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Sep 14, 2016 - 14 answers

Snooping: Where to draw the line with a fiance with trust issues?

I am about to have a serious discussion with my fiance as I have recently discovered that she has been going behind my back to login to my facebook account to monitor my activity. It appears this has been going on since July and there have been multiple logins. Therefore, I would like to ask the internet for advice on how to properly confront this type of behavior. [more inside]
posted by ThomasJefferson on Sep 12, 2016 - 44 answers

Should I stay or should I go? (office edition)

If you'd asked me a few months ago, I would have told you my gig was pretty sweet, but that was before ... THE INCIDENT! [dramatic music cue] Now I need to decide if I want to stick around (blizzard of snowflakes inside). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 22, 2016 - 4 answers

How do I rebuild trust in my relationship and meet my partner's needs?

I wasn't honest with my partner for several months about my feelings for her. She told me weeks ago that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I did not feel the same way, and to avoid hurting her feelings I didn't tell her. When I did tell her two days ago, instead of being happy, she felt I betrayed her trust. It really hurt her to learn that I was hiding my feelings. She says she can't be sure I won't continue to hide my feelings from her. How do I rebuild her trust? [more inside]
posted by Sheila Nagig on Aug 21, 2016 - 26 answers

Please help me stay true to myself

I need help in staying true to myself, avoiding self-pity and being naive as I try to conclude my divorce following a long, drawn out separation. Long story below. [more inside]
posted by longjump on Aug 15, 2016 - 15 answers

Me vs. My husband's family

I just had a big blow up with my husband's "mother" and while he's taken my side, the more I think about it, the more it seems his story doesn't hold up, and I feel he kind of provoked the argument, but maybe not on purpose. Looking back, this seems to be a pattern. [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on Jul 30, 2016 - 55 answers

Blowback after expressing concerns of co-worker's suicide risk

A friend from work (Rachel) disclosed to one of her close friends (Monica) that someone on her team (Phoebe) had expressed suicidal ideation that was becoming seriously concerning. Monica works at another location, so Rachel talked with Monica in order to get advice on how to report her concern while remaining anonymous, avoiding blowback, and keeping the trust of her team-mate. Instead, Monica immediately reported her concern to the regional manger, Phoebe was immediately suspended and told Rachel reported her. Blowback has ensued. How does my friend deal with this perceived lack of professionalism? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2016 - 13 answers

When Judas repents: Forgive or tell her to f*** off?

Is forgiving someone who has hurt you before and believing them when they say they won't again just naive wishful thinking? Or is it a virtue of the brave and the only path to maturity? The rest of the drama inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 34 answers

How do you teach boundaries and respect?

Is it possible to teach an adult how to be considerate and respect boundaries? If a child grows up without boundaries, is it impossible to learn? [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on May 9, 2016 - 29 answers

Rebuilding trust in my relationship

How can I stop beating myself up for experiencing insecurity? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2016 - 12 answers

New relationship good practices

Please give me your best practices for starting a relationship off on the right foot. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 10 answers

Does this email have romantic overtones?

My partner and I have minor trust issues to deal with. He had an email exchange with an old ex- that I asked to read and have mixed feelings about and I'd like to hear your outside unbiased perceptions of it. [more inside]
posted by miaow on Apr 12, 2016 - 39 answers

What should I ask the lawyer for

My parents have had some recent health issues and I've asked them to meet with an estate planning attorney. What should I specifically ask them to discuss with this attorney? [more inside]
posted by latkes on Apr 7, 2016 - 9 answers

Legal right to trust amount / accounting as sec. beneficary?

[YANAL] As a secondary beneficiary to a trust, do I have any right to see the original amount, current amount, and accounting information for a trust? Trust is held in PA, but I reside in MN. [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Feb 24, 2016 - 7 answers

What do I do now that Facebook killed Parse

No sooner had I rewritten my iOS app to rely on the backend service Parse ("hundreds of thousands of developers trust us!" it said on the website) than did Facebook kill it. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by johngoren on Jan 29, 2016 - 3 answers

How to deal with a loved family member with an addiction

My extended family always turns to me whenever there's a problem that they are having a hard time dealing with. Most of the time, I'm able to provide something based on research or I'm able to give helpful advice. This time, I need a little help. [more inside]
posted by hal_c_on on Jan 16, 2016 - 7 answers

Problems with my therapist. Is the answer still "therapy"?

I'm completely confused and upset about recent developments in my therapy, and I don't know if I should continue it or not. I'm sorry but this is loooong, and there's really no good TL;DR I can come up with. Please be gentle; I realize I'm possibly wrong about everything, but I'm feeling fragile right now. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2016 - 30 answers

Adressing emotional infidelity

I've been dating Laura exclusively for 6 months. She was recently vacationing at a resort without me, and I have found out that she spent a lot of time getting to know another guy in a pretty intense/intimate way. I don't believe she slept with him but I can't be sure. She has not talked to me about this herself, normally we share practically everything and have discussed the issue of exclusivity/jealousy in the past. She's omitting it in my case but has talked about it to others and this is how I found out. Now I can't shake feelings of hurt and betrayal and I'm not sure what to do with them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 1, 2016 - 40 answers

Boundary-ignorant husband: part of a bigger problem?

My husband keeps pulling up my clothes and rubbing my belly (not pregnant, not trying to get pregnant, dear god I can only imagine if I was). It's meant to be affectionate but I HATE it. I've told him to stop, but he keeps doing it. I think my problem has less to do with the touching (although I really, really, really don't like it and resent having to apologize or explain it) and more to do with the fact that I explicitly asked him to stop but he has not. This makes me irrationally angry. Am I overreacting by moving out of our bedroom into our spare room? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2015 - 54 answers

I've maybe depended too much on the kindness of strangers...

How can I become a kinder and more trusting person? [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Sep 6, 2015 - 8 answers

How to deal with feeling suddenly paranoid towards loved one?

Turning into this guys wife. Married a year and a half. Been together for a total of 3 yrs. Prior to around a month ago I had no insecurity issues or paranoia towards my husband. This is the best relationship that I’ve ever been in and I feel so lucky to have met him. [more inside]
posted by puppup on Aug 5, 2015 - 13 answers

One of those good problems . . . estate/trust questions

My SO receives a (small) monthly check from a trust in which she is named (distant relative). We want to know how to proceed with understanding details of the trust; what kind of estate lawyer we need and about how much that might cost us. Details below the fold. [more inside]
posted by eggman on Jul 31, 2015 - 8 answers

How much financial influence can be exerted from the grave?

Due to paranoia about and hatred of my spouse of nearly 20 years, my elderly parents have informed me they have set up their estate as a bloodline trust. 50% to me (I'm an only child) and 25% to each of my children once they hit a certain age (I assume 30 or 35). Fine. I'm happy that my kids are being taken care of even if it's years down the road. My question concerns my research into this type of trust. [more inside]
posted by teg4rvn on Jul 29, 2015 - 15 answers

Will I ever be able to be trusted if I have been "the other man"?

My girlfriend is having a difficult time trusting me after I revealed I had in the past canoodled with a girl who had a boyfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2015 - 66 answers

Trusts - what are they and how do they work? Califorina Edition.

My adult brother has no income save my parents' monthly stipend. He is unable/unwilling to work. When they pass away, if he receives half their estate (which is not super large), he is likely to spend it all at once and then be without income or means of support. I am asking my parents to change their will to give my brother support for the longest time, so that he is not disabled and homeless on the streets as an older man, and so that I can minimize the impact on my own finances. What kinds of trusts or other legal mechanisms exist to help with the long term financial stability of a legally "competent" but life-skills-wise not competent adult? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2015 - 12 answers

Trust issues...

..I got em. What can I do about it?? [more inside]
posted by otterboxdefender on May 20, 2015 - 14 answers

How can I get better at having eyes only for my fiancee?

I used to think it was OK to fantasize about other women as long as I wasn't emotionally or physically cheating. Fiancee did not, and we would both like me to be start being mentally faithful as well. What are your best tips for keeping thoughts of other women out of my mind? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by tripledrop on Apr 19, 2015 - 69 answers

"You can't handle the truth!" But I need to learn how to...

Last week, my partner admitted that he's been not just hiding things, but outright lying to me. The revelations hurt, but I need honesty if we're to stay together. How do I make it safe for my partner to tell me the truth when it's repeatedly been so startling and upsetting? Difficulty level: partner is dealing with Major Depression, and has been near-suicidal. [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story on Apr 17, 2015 - 56 answers

How do I let go?

I'm having problems letting go of control and being authentically "me" in my relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2014 - 16 answers

Oops, I did it again :(

How can I forgive myself for exercising such poor judgment? [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Oct 28, 2014 - 25 answers

Boyfriend has been honest about his past – should I end it?

I’ve been with my boyfriend 6 months and our relationship is great. He’s a good guy, we treat each other well and communicate well, and we both see a future with each other in it. We’re both late 20s. However, I’m concerned about his self control issues, and the fact he has confessed some things to me about his past / his personality that raise red flags. [more inside]
posted by pennywise_1 on Oct 17, 2014 - 70 answers

My partner lied to me about alcohol. Now what?

My partner lied to me about alcohol. Now what? [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Sep 19, 2014 - 49 answers

How do we best donate to the family of a deceased colleague?

A friend and colleague recently passed away leaving behind two very young children. Although she did not have a substantial income, she was by far the primary wage earner for her household. Many of us at work and elsewhere are interested in contributing to the immediate support of her family and the future education of her children. Does anyone have suggestions about what the best mechanism(s) would be for doing this? Our office is in Maryland, and she and her family were residents as well.
posted by procrastination on Sep 10, 2014 - 8 answers

Is it possible to be with someone who has friends you cannot stand?

Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone who has friends you cannot stand, especially if one of them is female? [more inside]
posted by Fayrose on Sep 10, 2014 - 29 answers

Shocked at boyfriend's behavior... Help me!

I feel that my trust has been betrayed by my boyfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 7, 2014 - 50 answers

Am I morally obligated to rent to someone after a huge breach of trust?

The person who was supposed to watch our pets while we were away on a short trip didn’t follow through. Our animals are fine but this situation has set off a complicated chain of events and now I’m not sure what to do. Well, frankly, I am sure but I’d like to sort it through here because you all can be objective in ways I can’t right now. [more inside]
posted by _Mona_ on Aug 8, 2014 - 48 answers

My girlfriend snooped through my phone. Now what?

I found out my girlfriend snooped through my phone. I don't know how to proceed. [more inside]
posted by hobodeluxe on Jun 27, 2014 - 48 answers

It's a bad time...but when is it ever a good time?

I'm coming to realize that my partner is seriously abusing alcohol (and being cavalier about other substances) just as he's embarking on an existential crisis following a messy legal situation (finalizing a divorce that's 2+ years in the making). The relationship needs work; he needs work; hell, I might need work; but he's got a lot on his plate and I can't really pile on. I have kind of lost sight of what is reasonable here, and could use some perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2014 - 30 answers

How do payments on property in a trust work?

Father left his stuff to me in a trust. Not sure what that means, and need an answer to the most basic of questions. [more inside]
posted by ratherbethedevil on Jun 1, 2014 - 5 answers

Husband and inappropiate pictures

I have discovered some questional pictures on my husband's computer. How do I approach him about them, without him getting defensive? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 23, 2014 - 40 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

Is there good reason to cry over spilled beans?

Throughout the entirety of my life, my immediate family has existed under a heavy shroud of secrecy. Within my current relationship, I cast it off for my boyfriend. Is this a decision I will come to deeply regret? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2014 - 24 answers

How to get over the petty stuff to maintain a healthy relationship

The relationship is great and we both see a future together, but at times I tend to focus on insignificant things or feel insecure for no rational reason. I want to prevent unnecessary conflicts arising from these feelings. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Apr 24, 2014 - 21 answers

Help me figure out how to trust again (both other people and myself)….

What I’m trying to figure out now is how to trust people again, trust myself again, and find myself/my voice again. [more inside]
posted by lullu73 on Apr 9, 2014 - 11 answers

Achieve customer's confidence in a service they're not paying for

I work for an IT company that provides certain VIP customers with consultancy services, free of charge for them. My job is basically help them identify new business needs, get first-hand information about their plans and projects, do some consulting work related to IT management methodologies, suggest ways to fix non-optimal business processes and in general, manage the business relationship at the highest level (CIOs and CEOs). [more inside]
posted by Matrod on Apr 3, 2014 - 7 answers

It's your pain, how can i help you carry it without collapsing myself?

How can i help support my partner when he's going through a rough time, when i feel sad too? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2014 - 11 answers

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