Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with trauma

Did I see Harry Blackstone Cut a Womans' Head Off?

jefficator — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 12:47:20 -0800

Does anyone remember a Harry Blackstone Jr. television decapitation that traumatized me as a child in the later 80s early 90s? I distinctly recall a television special with Harry Blackstone in which he put his pretty blond assistant in a guillotine and cut off her head. Then he placed her head on a counter and started having a conversation with it. I believe this would have aired on broadcast television, as we did not have cable, but I could be mistaken.

I was mortified as a child, but now I'm downright curious.

Anyone remember?

What injuries kill you slowly?

Biru — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:46:36 -0800

What kinds of injuries can still kill you long after you've entered intensive care in hospital? It had always been my assumption that if you had a serious injury and were taken to hospital quick sharp then your chances were good. Especially if you were alive several days later. However, this story tells of a guy injured on Saturday who died the following Wednesday. Perhaps I'm being naive, but I had assumed that serious trauma injuries either killed you outright or pretty quickly. It seems weird to me that he lived four days before dying.

Help me ask for help.

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 06:01:10 -0800

I have a traumatic past and a partner who wants to be supportive, but I don't know how to ask for support! I was in an abusive relationship four years ago. My ex hurt me pretty badly, emotionally and physically, over a period of a couple of months before I mustered the courage to leave him. I spent a couple of destructive years pretending it didn't matter and Everything Was Fine, and when that didn't work I tried therapy instead, with better results. I now have a therapist I like and am in a good relationship with a man I love.

Due to some circumstances beyond my control, I have to visit the town I lived in when I was with my ex. I will probably see some of the people who knew us, and at least drive past some of the places we frequented together. I am in a panic over all of this; just thinking about going back makes me nauseated and shaky.

My problem is that I don't know how to ask my partner for support. He can't come with me, so I'll be going by myself; we talk on the phone each night when we're apart. I get overwhelmed thinking about being anywhere near the old places and then I panic, and it takes a long time to calm down again. (Plotting out a route to get there from where I am is what motivated this question, actually; I got it done but am still feeling completely horrible hours later.)

I think it might be good to hear a pep-talk from my partner, but I don't know what sorts of things would be good to hear, and I feel like I'm being unfair when I ask for general support without having some idea in mind about what form that support should take. I also have trouble articulating my regular ghosts-of-abusive-past freakouts to him unless I've already gone over them in therapy, polished them, and come up with some kind of conclusion where I ask for a specific type of support--a backrub, a hand-holdy evening out, a ton of hugs, reminders that I am safe, etc.

Basically, if I haven't figured out exactly what is making me feel miserable and contrived a way to make me feel better, I freeze up and can't say anything at all. I have tried to talk to my partner about upsetting stuff without practicing on my therapist first, and it always ends with him being a patient listener, but frustrated over not knowing what to tell me; then I feel like a burden and a loser for not having made any progress, and even less inclined to try again.

You are not my therapist--she's on vacation and I can't see her again until our schedules coincide at the beginning of September, which I am sorely regretting. But I would really appreciate any advice that anyone can offer in the meantime. It's making me crazy that I can't talk to my partner. Throwaway email for contacting me privately is helpmeask@gmail.com.

PTSD/EMDR questions

Anonymous — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 09:04:08 -0800

I'm a 27 year old female dealing with PTSD from extreme childhood abuse and psychoanalysis is not working. I've read previous AskMe questions, but would like more feedback from people who have had EMDR therapy. I'm also wondering if anyone has any advice on mild dissociation. A few points:

It would be tough for me to switch therapists now, but is it worth it for me to find someone who practices EMDR? Anyone have advice for or against EMDR? I've heard great things.

I don't take meds and don't tolerate them well due to side-effects.

I'm beginning to realise that I may have "dissociated" from myself, or stepped outside myself when being abused, to avoid the pain. Any thoughts on later repercussions from this? I'm beginning to feel I've left a part of myself behind, and she "comes back" under stress. My psychiatrist doesn't "interact" with me about this, just sits quietly, which is another reason I'm thinking psychoanalysis is not for me.

I'm also having trouble in personal relationships. People I want to trust inevitably sort of "become my parents" in my mind. How does one learn to trust again? Obviously I can't go on like this.

Thanks. I'm not looking for therapy here, just a little direction to get help elsewhere.

PTSD from a traumatic birth?

amro — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:04:12 -0800

Is there any evidence that a particularly traumatic birth may have a long-lasting negative effect on a person? Specifically, is there any evidence (scientific or anecdotal) that shows a higher incidence of fear of choking or fear of being unable to breathe or even a higher incidence of generalized anxiety in children or adults who had the umbilical cord wrapped around their necks at birth, compared to those who were born under less traumatic circumstances?

I'm not suggesting, of course, that anyone would remember the feeling of having the cord wrapped around his neck. I'm just wondering if, subconsciously, that sort of trauma can remain with a person and influence the person they become.

an anyone recommend a reference that might assist an adult family dealing with a traumatic situation decades after the event?

worstkidever — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 18:49:09 -0800

Can anyone recommend a reference that might assist an adult family dealing with a traumatic situation decades after the event? Can anyone recommend a reference that might assist an adult family dealing with a traumatic situation decades after the event? Some of the family is completely in denial about the way the event and it's aftereffects, while others have been suffering for years as a result. The topic, which has never been openly discussed, has been brought to the table.

Can anyone identify this movie? It traumatized me in my youth...

Olden_Bittermann — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:32:12 -0800

Sometime in the mid-fifties, I was sitting innocently in front of the TV when the regularly scheduled afternoon movie came on. A few minutes later, I was running from the room crying, too much the wimp to sit through the conclusion of an absolutely agonizing sequence. (...more) Here's the set-up, as remembered through the fog of 50+ years: Some guy at a desk is yelling into his phone, "Yeah, but what about the man in the boiler room?!"; we then cut to a scene, obviously from a silent movie, of the man in the boiler room, tied to some pipes, frantically trying to escape while the pressure builds ominously in the boilers around him. Another cut, and the Keystone Kops are racing to the "rescue", but of course, since it's the Kops, they're forever racing in the wrong direction, getting stuck in a huge mud puddle, or some other damned thing. As I recall, the whole sequence repeats two or three times: man yelling more and more frantically into the phone, boilers beginning to burst at the seams, steam blasting from pipe joints, etc. -- and the goddamned Keystone Kops racing ever farther and farther away from the poor bastard.

What made it particularly agonizing was how amazingly effective the special effects were in the boiler room as it got closer to the brink of explosion -- I had no difficulty at all in believing the poor sap was about to die a horrible death; so soon, in fact, that there was absolutely no chance of rescue even if the Kops had been two feet outside the door, never mind in another county! Then, for icing on the cake, the guy screaming into the phone, nearly as agitated as I was.

Gah. Still gives me the willies.

But here's the thing -- obviously, the movie was a comedy, so there's no doubt whatsoever the man in the boiler room was rescued, no matter how impossible it may have seemed to the pants-wetting little fancy-boy sitting on his living room rug six thousand years ago. If only I'd had the guts to see it through, who knows? -- it might be me taking the oath of office in a couple of months rather than Obama. Given the slight chance of anybody out there identifying it, plus the absurdly long odds against it being on dvd, there's probably next to zero chance I'll ever see it again -- but if I could...maybe there's still time to make something of this wretched existence!!!

Since the movies shown on TV in the fifties were nearly always at least 10 or 20 years old, this thing was probably from the late 30's, but incorporating silent footage from the Mack Sennett days (I have an idea the movie had something to do with movie-making -- that the man on the phone was a producer of silent films, maybe, and the cutting back and forth was to a screening room, where, through some mix-up, the last reel of the "man in boiler room" serial had gone missing...?)

Ring a bell with anyone?

Coping With Belief Change

trinity8-director — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 12:56:52 -0800

Have you experienced sudden, traumatic changes to a deeply-held belief? How did you deal with it? We typically adjust our belief systems as we grow older. That's a given for most people. But what about those times when a belief is completely exploded?

I'm working on a story in which several people hold a strong belief in common about a subject only to discover that they are completely wrong. As a story device this is not new ground, I admit, but I think the effects of the destruction of a deeply held belief are too often minimized or turned to melodrama.

I'd like to hear first or second-hand experiences in this regard, and especially how the trauma was handled.

Not so much interested in who broke the news to you about Santa Claus. This is about serious, deep beliefs.

As I understand it some people refuse to cope and turn to suicide but most do not, although the extent of that could be a cultural thing.

The Cure of a Fear of Abandonment - Resources?

watercarrier — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 09:25:29 -0800

Abandonment - What is the Cure? I've been watching A&E Intervention recently and I've noticed that one common key element that runs through all addicts is the issue of abandonment. Someone, somewhere left them. Most if not all in early childhood. Who due to parents divorcing and who through other reasons causing disintegration of the family unit.

My question is this - has anyone ever been able to cure someone of the core issue of fear of abandonment where they were totally released from this hell? I've heard mention of Ibogaine as being a way through and out of the trauma, approaches in therapy where on nurtures ones inner child and still others where there is something called reparenting oneself. How successful are these approaches and are they even considered cures? And lastly, where would one find out all they can on the latest cutting-edge therapies in treating very early childhood trauma from a neuroscientific/psychological/spiritual vantage point?

Thanks so much.

Recovering from hospital-induced trauma

desjardins — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:17:03 -0800

How do you mentally recover from having been in the hospital, especially when you don't know what was wrong? My fiance woke me up last week and I couldn't move from the neck down. He called 911 and I was taken to the ER. I was admitted and spent the weekend in the hospital. There was initial uncertainty as to whether I'd had a spinal cord injury so it was emotionally difficult for me and everyone around me as we contemplated my being paralyzed. Three MRIs and an X-ray later, the spinal cord injury was definitively ruled out, and I'm able to move normally again. There is no explanation for what happened, and I was at the best hospital in the city with a large team of neurosurgeons. I'm not looking for speculation as to what happened; I say this to explain my mental state.

Physically, I am OK after all this. Emotionally, though, I am spent. I never felt like I would die, but I was afraid of being paralyzed not for myself but for the life my fiance would have to live, taking care of me. It was likewise difficult to see him so worried and tore up about me. There was also some family drama about who had power of attorney (I signed it over to my fiance since we'll be married in two months anyway).

The MRIs were very difficult for me as well. I'm not claustrophobic but I do have panic disorder and they had to stop one test when I started aspirating on my own vomit. The next day they wanted to run the whole test straight through and it took three hours. I was nearly catatonic afterwards. I still have tinnitus from the noise of the machine and I wake up fearing I'm still inside it. I'm also afraid to go to sleep for fear I'll wake up paralyzed.

What can I do to move on? I want to get "back to normal" but I feel like something's different now. Having no explanation, I fear it might happen again and I'm overreactive to the way my body feels. I've taken time off work, of course, but I will have to go back, and I don't want to talk about the experience. I would just like to forget it ever happened.

Nightmarish kid's telly

fearfulsymmetry — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 07:13:10 -0800

oldtelevisionprogramfilter. Please help me remember this old half-forgotten British children's show... I've been trying to track this down, off and on for years... it's one of my earliest memories so I'm guessing it's from the early 1970s (although it might have been a repeat of something earlier.)

Black and white, naturally. It was some sort of puppet show I think. The main thing I can remember was there was some sort of 'bad guy' or 'villain' character who was basically a balloon with a face painted on it, possibly with some arms and legs stuck on it as well and a hat. He kept calling at someone's door for some reason (money?). Eventually he was 'killed' by being burst with a pin... which I think half-traumatised me for years.

Can someone confirm this actually existed and has not just been a bad dream all these years...

Would a dentist allow some form of general anaesthesia in order to extract necrotic teeth from a whussy person?

h00py — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 07:06:51 -0800

Major dental work required - nasty old dead teeth need to be removed (at least four of them) and I'm scared witless. Is asking for a general anaesthetic something that a dentist would allow? A few years ago I had an abscess which resulted in a major infection causing me to look like the elephant woman and the tooth responsible had to be removed, during which the local anaesthetic did nothing and I cried like a baby for about an hour afterwards because I was so traumatised by the pain. Before this, pain was not something I feared (I've experienced childbirth twice). Now, I fear for my sanity if I have to endure it again. I have at least three molars that are beyond saving and one tooth near the front (I don't know the correct name for it) that I refer to as my mediaeval tooth because it is broken and black and really, really ugly which will all have to be extracted. I'm planning on getting a bridge for the teeth at the front (the tooth previously removed was on the opposite side of the mediaeval tooth). What I fear is that, because I have let my horrid teeth get to such a state that they are quite brittle, the extractions will not be easy and they may break into bits and the whole thing will be incredibly painful and traumatic and messy. Is asking for a general anaesthetic something that a dentist would allow? (I'm aware of the risks of general anaesthetics and I'm prepared for that). Even a twilight kind of anaesthetic would be better than me attempting to retain some kind of composure that I don't think I'm capable of. I'm in Australia, if that makes any kind of difference. And yes, my children brush their teeth twice a day and I will counsel them on the inadvisability of eating lollies and wondering what happens to all that sweet, sweet sugar that just kinda sits there for the rest of the day. I know I'm a whuss and responsible for the horror that is my mouth but I'm traumatised!

Why was everyone else proud of me, execpt my husband?

Anonymous — Tue, 08 May 2007 09:20:10 -0800

My interaction with an armed robber prevented a possible tragedy at a crowded shop, but my husband has yet to acknowledge that. I'm 25, female, never been robbed before. My husband and I were at a small neighborhood shop when a teenage came in with a gun. We were near the entrance so we became the "main hostages". There were over 30 people inside, several children.

This guy was definately not the sort of "pro", collected robber that controls the situation and goes fast. He had no clue and seemed very violent, threatening to shoot all the time and waving the gun. He may have been intoxicated.

I have always been terrified of other people's reaction to robberies and immediately thought someone might yell or try to run and cause the guy to shoot. Somehow, without even realizing, I took over the situation.

I talked to him, went to the cashier to get the money, handed it to the guy. Then someone offered a purse, which I went to get. The whole time I was asking him to be calm and assuring him everyone would give all they had. Everytime I came near to hand him something he yelled and pointed the gun to my stomach and face, asking for more money. As I went around "assisting" I talked to some of the more nervous people saying it would be over soon, and kept trying to convince him that we would all give everything so he could go quickly.
But he just wouldn't be satisfied.

This guy was so clueless and/or nervous he didn't even go gathering credit cards and wallets, he just stood there yelling for more. Then I realized I was wearing big gold earrings, and gave them to him. My husband gave his very expensive watch, and that seemed to finally satisfy the son-of-a-bitch so he yelled for everyone to cram into the back room. I directed everyone to go orderly and closed the door, and the he ran off.

And then I broke down.
I got down to the floor and couldn't get up even as people were leaving the tiny room to call the police and get themselves together. My husband had to pick me up and sit me down at a chair, and I remember the owner of the shop bringing me water. Some children were very scared and I tried to calm them down, but I couldn't get up because I trembled too much. I was completely terrified.

Then some people started coming up to me to thank me. And then more people, and only then did I realize what I had done. I was chocked and, I admit, proud of myself. But of all people, my husband was the one that never said a word to me. I saw he was very nervous and asked him if he was okay, tried to console him but I was still crying a lot. He wanted us to go but I had to wait for the police, and after I got calmer we went home.

I remember a buzz, people pointing and talking about me. I have to say, despite the horrible situation and how terrified I was, it felt great. I was so proud of myself.

It's been three weeks since it happened. We have talked about it a lot, and sometimes I still get nervous and cry a lot. Everytime I get scared he consoles me, he is very supportive in that sense. However, he has never said a word about what I did that thay. He did not mention my reaction, he did not say I did good, he did not say he was proud. My parents did, when they heard. My brother did. But not my husband.

When we tell friends what happened, he always mentions the facts, but never anything about my participation in it. I feel frustrated. I absolutely did not react the way I did during the robbery to prove myself as a hero, I hate heroes. It even took me a while to realize I had played a role at all. But now that I do realize, I want him to acknowledge me.

Am I ego tripping?
Do I have some sort of impromptu-hero "love me admire me" syndrome?
Why is he not proud of me?

Just to clarify, my husband is not a jealous person and would never feel any sort of envy towards me, he is in fact extremely proud of me and my achievements and always tells me so. Just not in this case.

Help me face my Apple-II-related fears.

Baldons — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 09:44:02 -0800

Name-that-appleii-game-filter: I played it on an Apple IIe. When I was a children. And had nightmares about it. Remember, Apple ii game - the screen is black and green. Basically there`s an orphanage on fire, and orphans (or maybe they`re regular babies and the building just happen to be full of them) keep falling - or being thrown out of the window. You maneuver a trampoline. If you catch the children, they bounce to safety, otherwise, a really scary EEEEEEERRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH sound plays. This gave me nightmares back when I was a child, circa 1988 I think. I want to face my fears! Help me, hive mind!

Depressive Compulsive?!?!?!?!Then please help

eve28 — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 01:41:53 -0800

Is there such a thing as DEPPRESIVE COMPULSIVE? Is it something real? Chemical? What and why can't I stop feeling sad, depressed, inadequate? To just put it out there I am a depressive compulsive and I have been dealing with this thing MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!!Literally. I'm a 28 yr. old female, who had a very traumatic life, who has dealt with many therapists, written many journals, talked to friends, family, GOD, and hell, about a year and a half ago, I started taking Zoloft. I met a therapist, whom I liked very much, got on the pills, started to feel a little better, (at least for the moment) even though therapy was excrutiating EverY Single TimE!! I stayed with her for over 15 months. I could really trust her.

Later, like 7 weeks ago, I moved and although my rational mind knows that a transition such as moving cross-country is stressful and can take some time for adjustment, I am still feeling low. I know no pill is available to heal this illness 100 percent, but I am starting to believe that some people, me mostly, must be lacking some sort of chemical. A transmitter or receptor or something that gives me the power of happiness, motivation, dedication. Is it possible that these are genes that some of us have in our DNA and some do not? Or, am I just crazy. Look, I guess I just want to know what This is...Is it something that depression does to you? Is it a gene one holds in their DNA? Is it all chemical? Is it how close one is with God? WHAT is it?

I feel tired, I have sleepless nights, racing thoughts, hurtful images, tired, low, sad, I feel as if I wont make it because I have no idea what I want and where I'm going even though I have dreams and ideas. I have a job, not totally in love with it, but I do like it, yet at the same time, I am still keeping my options open. I also see faces as I am trying to sleep. Sometimes they are good, sometimes bad, sometimes indifferent. This has happened my whole life. I am not sure if anyone thinks I'm crazy, but I really don't care about that. All I care about is if someone out there is willing to give a helping hand and provide me with some insight.

I am looking for a legitimate answer here. Please do not forget I have had this my whole life. I can not get into all the details of my haunting past, but even if I could, a man once told me, "no one cares about your past and no one cares where your at.."So thats it any and all thoughts accepted, even if it hurts....

Am I turning into a boxing cartoon?

Ash3000 — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 08:39:08 -0800

Y'know how, in cartoons, when one is knocked out, particularly in a boxing match, there'll be stars floating around your head as you lay there? My grandfather said this was based on a real medical condition where boxers would see 'stars' of light in their field of vision after getting knocked out, and I need to know more about this. Details inside. So my grandfather always said (this was years ago) that this was inspired by a real condition where, if you get 'punch-drunk', you'll potentially see little points of light, or 'stars', floating around your field of vision. Recently, I've noticed that I'll sometimes, especially when I've been shaking my head around a lot, see little points of dark light, like the size of lady bugs floating around. Any help on this? Google has yielded nothing for me.

"Won't Somebody Think of the Children??"

hermitosis — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:49:58 -0800

Help me identify a book I read as a child that scared the bejeebers out of me! I read it when I was 11 or 12, which means it was the early 90's, but I don't know how old the book was.

It was an adult-sized paperback, which I found on my grandmother's shelf during a family visit. On the cover was a photograph of a broken baby doll.

The book was a nonfiction (or at least, I thought it was) book about the abuse of a little girl. In the book her parents had to leave on a sudden trip and she was dropped off with a babysitter they had never met, a woman named Florrie who had a daughter and a son. Florrie, the kids, and a neighbor boy basically keep the girl as a prisoner and humiliate her physically and psychologically. The girl is kept fom notifying anyone. I seem to remember at some point that the parents extend their stay and she is left there even longer. At some point her captors cut off her hair, and she is beaten. Several times she tries to get the garbage-collector's attention. At the end of the book she either escapes or her parents return for her-- I don't remember which.

I was totally too young to be reading this book, and it scared me to death because I realized for the first time that these things could really happen to someone.

Does anyone remember this? I'd love to read it again, I'm sure it was pure trash but I think it would be interesting to revisit the site of one of my childhood nightmares.

Muppet Cannibalism

divabat — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 17:23:16 -0800

Muppets eating Muppets? Or am I crazy? I remember when I was about 4-5 years old (late 80s/early 90s) watching a Muppets show (I think it's the Henson variety) where some Muppets were eating each other. Gobbling them alive. It may have been black and white.

The reason I remember this is because the 1812 Overture was used as background music for the whole thing, and now everytime I hear that song I feel fearful. (Yes I was traumatized).

My question: Did this episode really exist? Does anyone else remember this episode? Were they Jim Henson Muppets, or something else entirely? And WHY were they eating each other?!

Am I deeply traumatized without realizing it?

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 09:28:49 -0800

I recently went to a therapist for the first time ever, for a screening for ADD. She told me that I had a severely traumatic childhood because of things like "My father wasn't around much." I don't feel severely traumatized... Is she crazy? I feel like this lady must be exaggerating the situation, and possibly misinterpreting things. She also said that I'm not really passionate about anything, and I strongly disagree with that statement. But then I think, "Wait, what if I really am severely traumatized? What if I'm so traumatized that I can't even tell I lack passion?"

So... How common is it for a therapist to exaggerate a patient's problems on the first visit? Is she trying to get me hooked on therapy or something?

potty, go potty!

cior — Tue, 24 Jan 2006 18:35:31 -0800

My new shelter pooch is refusing to do her bidness.

She's little, jack russell/beagle mix
She's obviously traumatized, constant vibration
She refused food for days after I brought her home, but started eating (1 cup kibble and broth, water) today
She primarily stays curled up on her little bed, doesn't wander, doesn't play
Her last meaningful bathrooming activity happened on Sunday night

I'd say she was sick, but she's been taking great walks with me, multiple times each day. On these walks she has tons of energy and seems happy but doesn't seem to recognize clear opportunities to go to the bathroom. I've been taking her down to the yard (a nice, big quiet yard!) every two hours during the day and she still doesn't seem to "get it". After a while, she just curls up in the grass and shakes. At that point I relent and we go back inside. I've put down newspaper in all sorts of obvious places, all of it unused. Her bed isn't soiled.

How long is too long? What can I do to help her go? At what point should I get big vet man involved?

concussion and c++

kuatto — Mon, 12 Dec 2005 12:44:09 -0800

If I've suffered a mild concussion, will excessive use of reasoning and logic harm the regenerative process going on in my brain? I was rushing to the computer lab to continue massaging my pile of spaghetti code and I flipped over the handle bars of my bike. I did not lose conciousness, but I did experience a ringing in my ears and that distorted sense of reality that goes along with banging your head. Now, about 30 minutes after the fact, I have a very mild, almost imperceptible, headache.

My question: will programming for 5 hours hurt my brain?