108 posts tagged with trauma.
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Should I ask my uncle about his Big Secret car crash from 50 years ago?

This AskMe from 2010 is me. When I wrote that, I had just heard about a car crash my uncle was allegedly in when he was in his early 20s, where he was driving and a passenger died. I never asked about the crash and a newspaper search didn't pull anything up at the time. But I recently stumbled upon an old newspaper article that confirmed it. I don't know what to do, or not do, with this information. He has never even hinted about anything like this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2015 - 61 answers

Disclosing trauma to loved ones and confronting abusers, how did it go?

Looking for people's experiences of disclosing trauma to loved ones and confronting abusers. (trigger warning) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2015 - 10 answers

Coping with Trauma and the Loss of a Pet

I’m having trouble dealing with something terrible I saw involving a neighbor’s dog. I feel weird since it wasn’t my dog or my trauma, but it took me back to the night my own pet died, and I just feel awful about everything and I don’t know how to cope (warning: general description of terrible dog death under the fold). [more inside]
posted by girl flaneur on Mar 10, 2015 - 15 answers

All aboard the therapy bus

How do I help my girlfriend get the help she needs? [more inside]
posted by switcheroo on Feb 10, 2015 - 18 answers

Anger Diary, Day 4012

Starting in late August, I have been posting here about my increasingly constant irritability/anger, a lot of which comes up in conjunction with PTSD and/or being bipolar. When I do get through to the mental health center to try to talk about my symptoms, nurses just tell me things like “people don’t die from being angry” and don’t address my horrible quality of life. How do I get my healthcare team to take my symptoms seriously? And is there anything, medical or nonmedical, that might help? [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Dec 28, 2014 - 18 answers

How do I deal with intrusive thoughts after being mugged?

I was mugged just a few hours ago while walking to my car. The guy slammed my head against the side of a brick building multiple times, took my cellphone out of my hand and ran off. I know it's still early, but how do I keep myself sane and maybe get some sleep tonight (and upcoming nights)? [more inside]
posted by blixapuff on Dec 7, 2014 - 27 answers

Love for body after trauma

How did you learn to feel comfortable in your body after trauma? (Possible trigger warning) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2014 - 12 answers

Type of therapy/therapist for dealing with a horrible experience

A family member has been through a nearly unimaginably terrible saga over the past four years and has just been released from prison after a conviction related to it. What type of therapist and what type of therapy would be best to help him cope and to get back on his feet again? [more inside]
posted by duoshao on Nov 23, 2014 - 8 answers

How do I stop the pain and do what is best?

A little over two years ago I posted a question regarding a very difficult situation I was in. The result is - eventually after much trauma we got divorced. Two years have passed and whilst in some respects I have made progress, a terrible situation has now occured and I am weighed down with the weight of the world. Desperately need some hivemind perspective if possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 21, 2014 - 12 answers

How to deal with memories from an animal attack?

I recently lost my pet cat to a coyote attack. I think I'm dealing with the grief of his death OK, but I'm feeling a little murkier about the trauma from the actual incident, which I was present for. [more inside]
posted by BuddhaInABucket on Nov 19, 2014 - 11 answers

What are some exercises/games/etc that can help with brain trauma?

About a year ago, my father was in an accident and suffered significant brain trauma. Since then, he has made great physical progress, but his mental progress seems stagnant. His memories are intact, thank god, but what he has trouble with is focusing/concentrating on things. I’m looking for suggestions on exercises he can do on a computer/iPad or in his regular life that can help with his healing and growth. I would also love to hear anecdotes from people who themselves have suffered significant brain trauma and what they have done to help themselves heal. [more inside]
posted by silverstatue on Nov 13, 2014 - 11 answers

Trauma and Language

I have observed a new phenomenon in myself this year and noticed different patterns in how my brain interacts with language in the period after trauma. I have a lot of other stress reactions going on that seem to be hypothalamus stuff (loss of circadian rhythm, weird appetite things, feeling hot and sweaty) but am not sure how any of that plays into processing language. I would love to learn more about this, either from anecdotes or from a more research-based perspective. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Nov 7, 2014 - 9 answers

EMDR and Inpatient treatment

Have you had EMDR or gone for inpatient therapy for PTSD/sexual abuse? Care to tell me about it? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Oct 5, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I tell my therapist?

Seeing a therapist for extreme lack of self-esteem and fear of intimacy and I'm not sure if I should tell them about childhood trauma. (Trigger warning) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 13, 2014 - 24 answers

Help me be less angry all the time

For the past couple of months, I have been angry (or at least irritable) almost all the time. Though I know many factors can cause this, I am fairly certain that my own anger is linked to trauma / PTSD. I have had plenty of bloodwork done and thoroughly discussed my meds (lithium, Zoloft, clonazepam, trazodone) with my doctor and pharmacist, so those factors can be ruled out. I am seeking your help for ways to lessen the anger or get breaks from it. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Aug 30, 2014 - 20 answers

Looking for a Dianetics therapist

Hello, I'm looking for a therapist who does Dianetics, and who's NOT affiliated with the Church of Scientology. If anyone knows of such a person or persons and could somehow help connect between us, I would be very grateful to them. [more inside]
posted by rodent on Aug 21, 2014 - 14 answers

Seeking a therapist in NoVA with experience in traumatic stress

I work in an extremely stressful field in which I make life and death decisions every day. I've been doing it for a long time, and I have good coping mechanisms, but recently my exposure to death and suffering has gone way up. I'd like to connect with a therapist in the Northern Virginia area with experience with traumatic stress, who could help me adapt to the demands this is putting on me. Someone experienced in treating members of the military might be helpful, but is definitely not necessary. Mostly I'm looking for somebody who has worked with people who encounter a lot of death and need to build appropriate coping skills.
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2014 - 2 answers

Refusing to validate client part of trauma therapy?

Is it common and recommended practice for a therapist to refuse to validate and affirm a trauma client? [more inside]
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats on Jul 21, 2014 - 34 answers

Help me plan for a difficult conversation with my mother

I need to talk to my mother soon about something I did, and I am looking for advice on how to handle the conversation in a way that respects her but is also mindful of my own boundaries. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Jul 10, 2014 - 12 answers

I don't want to talk about that, but I don't want to stonewall, either

My wife will not stop questioning me about a horrible incident from my past. I've answered her questions already, but she doesn't like me asking to not talk about it. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jul 8, 2014 - 110 answers

Severe Health Anxiety. Is it possible to ever overcome this?

I feel like I've tried everything and am at my wits end. [more inside]
posted by noella on Jul 2, 2014 - 20 answers

How do I not get taken down by PTSD?

I am experiencing acute PTSD symptoms after a variety of different traumas, most recently an incredibly toxic roommate/landlady situation which I am now out of. I am looking for suggestions on behavioral changes to implement, therapeutic techniques, and books that might help. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Jun 22, 2014 - 11 answers

How do I deal with profound emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion?

Whenever I have a particularly stressful or taxing day, I end up being profoundly exhausted for 2-3 days after. We're talking sleeping for 16 hours each day, walking around in a daze, feeling sick after eating, and just feeling unable to do anything I want or need to do. It's like I'm dealing with trauma, but surely this isn't a normal or even reasonable response to trauma, right? If you've dealt with this in the past or are dealing with it now, could you please share any solutions you've found that have worked for you? This has been going on since 2008 for me.
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Mar 2, 2014 - 18 answers

Have other men suffered from castration phobia?

Ever since a particular childhood incident, I've had a fear of castration, which was pretty severe at some periods of my life. I've never heard anyone talk about this, so am wondering how rare or common of an experience it is. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2014 - 15 answers

how to deal with unsupportive friend after rape?

If it's important I'm a young woman. I don't want to talk about the rape or let this get derailed by suggestions of getting professional help. I'm seeing a counselor now and have dealt with the situation. But what's been eating away at me is a friend's reaction in the immediate aftermath. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2014 - 72 answers

Rape counselling in Bristol UK

Can anyone recommend a rape trauma counsellor/EMDR expert in Bristol UK? I was raped 25 years ago, so not a crisis, but following a recent brave question from someone else I realise I need to get help. M I am happy to pay and I'd like personal recommendations if anyone has any. Thank you
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2014 - 1 answer

How do I forgive my parents for reacting badly to my pregnancy?

My parents are very religious and do not agree with many of my life choices (I'm gay), but they have worked through their discomfort and I thought we were in a better place. They reacted badly to my new pregnancy and said horrible things which hurt me a lot. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2013 - 29 answers

Looking for a cognitive therapist in Ulster County, NY!

My father has recently suffered brain trauma and needs cognitive therapy. He is at a rehab center now but we are hoping to move him to outpatient soon. First we need to find a good cognitive (and possibly occupational) therapist. He lives in the Kingston/New Paltz area of New York. [more inside]
posted by silverstatue on Nov 22, 2013 - 4 answers

How to get a traumatised Labrador to like water

Friend rescued a five-year-old sick Labrador from the streets and adopted him, but he absolutely hates water and can't be bathed because of this. What can we do to get him over his fear? [more inside]
posted by madman on Oct 19, 2013 - 16 answers

Trauma, Food and Money...oh my.

How would one erase or get past a childhood trauma and its effects on one's relationship with food and money? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2013 - 8 answers

Cutting off abusive parents AFTER they have tried to make amends?

My parents were abusive for over a decade of my life, profoundly and in many ways permanently impacting my physical health and emotional and social well-being. Since that time, they have apologized, but I am still incredibly angry and hurt by the choices they made. Could cutting off contact help me move on? Mefites who have been in similar situations, please share your experiences and suggestions for healing. More details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2013 - 46 answers

How much should trauma scene cleanup cost? Is my dad getting ripped off?

A trauma scene cleanup company is quoting my dad $2100 for materials and 20 hours of labor to clean up the biohazardous material in the tiny bathroom my uncle died in. Is this a reasonable estimate of labor? [more inside]
posted by efsrous on Aug 22, 2013 - 19 answers

Dying from knife wounds, but only after several days in hospital?

Recently there was a stabbing where the victim was attacked on Monday, brought to hospital immediately, but died from her wounds on Thursday. What I don't quite get as a layperson is how a stabbing victim can perish in a modern, First World hospital after being kept alive for several days? The newspaper accounts were understandably short on detail. Are there blood vessel injuries that simply cannot be surgically repaired or replaced? Or might there have been secondary injuries due to the initial blood loss, ie brain damage, that prompted life support to be discontinued after a while?
posted by Harald74 on Aug 22, 2013 - 11 answers

Therapy for trauma: more trouble than it's worth?

I need to decide whether it's worth the trouble for me to go to therapy. I am fortunate to be able to afford it financially, but in terms of time and emotional energy, I am not so sure. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Aug 2, 2013 - 14 answers

Just started therapy, how can I deal with the constant flashbacks?

I have a lot of trauma in my past. My therapist is trying to teach me ways of being present, but I'm having a really hard time. Has anyone else with PTSD found something that helps calm the flood of memories? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2013 - 14 answers

Chronic pain from trauma

For the last year I have been experiencing varying intensities of chronic pain due to past trauma. My doctors have started shrugging me off. Since I cannot get a referral to anyone else is there anything I can do to make it more bearable on my own? (Trigger warning: Sexual abuse) [more inside]
posted by kanata on Mar 26, 2013 - 33 answers

Best books to heal from rape / sexual assault

I've been Googling and looking through different lists of recommended books (including some recommended by orgs like RAINN) about healing from sexual trauma, but I'm looking for 1 or 2 good books that are reasonably-priced. (Many of these books seem to be out of print and therefore expensive.) This is about an assault that happened to me as an adult, so books about child abuse are out. What I don't want: hokey, religious, new-age, preachy, textbooks, "workbooks" My ideal book would deal with many of the symptoms of Rape Trauma Syndrome, including having "body memories" of the assault. Hope this is descriptive enough.
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2013 - 5 answers

Helping a child cope with an absent parent

Daughter's father no longer in our lives, unexpectedly, after some sad times. Daughter (5) now a stressed little kid. Therapy coming up, but… ? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2012 - 12 answers

How bad is amputation?

How likely is it that someone who has just amputated the end of their pinky finger will go into "shock?" [more inside]
posted by GoingToShopping on Sep 25, 2012 - 49 answers

Recovery from trauma - help me educate myself?

I was in a traumatic event a few years ago which was followed by shock and near complete amnesia. Recently I've been getting memories back, and, following different triggers, experiencing physical and emotional exhaustion. Help me understand what to expect, and how best to deal with it ? (More specific qs after the cut) [more inside]
posted by EatMyHat on Aug 23, 2012 - 11 answers

how might you cope with childhood trauma?

How might you cope, if you were traumatized as a child by something you saw...? [more inside]
posted by thermonuclear.jive.turkey on Aug 10, 2012 - 11 answers

How can I stop traumatic flashbacks linked to my pet's death?

My pet died suddenly. How can I stop traumatic flashbacks and focus on happy memories? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2012 - 26 answers

How long is too long to use major life trauma as an excuse?

How long is too long to use major life trauma as an excuse for everything in my life falling apart? [more inside]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts on Aug 1, 2012 - 39 answers

How to support the abused

I've started to date again after the end of an eight year relationship. The good news is I've met an amazing woman and we're starting to develop a more serious relationship. The part I (male) need help with is that it turns out she was physically, sexually, mentally, and emotionally abused in several previous relationships over the course of about 15 years. How do I support her as a new relationship partner? Can you recommend any good resources for me to read? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2012 - 11 answers

How can I help my partner feel better after a random assault?

Some random jerk threatened my partner in public a few days ago and he's still pretty shaken, and can't stop thinking about it. What resources can I offer to help him cope? [more inside]
posted by rhiannonstone on May 29, 2012 - 18 answers

Talk to me about dissociation... or whatever my problem is

Is this dissociation? I would really like to learn more about my slightly peculiar experience of living life, and what it means, if anything. I've been suspecting some form of dissociation, but I'd love some pointers to books, articles or sites, or informed experiences that might help make things clearer. [more inside]
posted by lizwykys on May 19, 2012 - 12 answers

How to help a traumatized friend?

Help me help a friend dealing with trauma/mental health/addiction issues in Georgia. [more inside]
posted by dortmunder on Apr 30, 2012 - 3 answers

Help with Being a Healthy and Honest Individual, after Trauma

Having grown up in an abusive home where every move of mine was watched and controlled like a hawk, and I had to anticipate reactions in order to survive, I ended up molding many of my desires around those anticipated reactions. So now, as an adult of advancing age, how do I learn to know what I want, and act on those desires with honesty and integrity? What are some steps I can actually take? Books I can read? Simple thoughts to repeat to myself? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2012 - 27 answers

helping someone who survived war.

My SO went through trauma. They are starting to open up a bit and I don't know what to do, or even if I should do anything. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2012 - 13 answers

Are you a reformed malingerer? How did you quit?

I'm the boy who cried wolf! (or 'ouch'!) Help me stop, especially in light of the fact that this behavior has been positively reinforced at some points. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2012 - 5 answers

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