115 posts tagged with transgender.
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Resources for trans-adjacent folks?

I'm transgender and taking steps towards starting hormones (T) in the new year. A cisgender romantic partner is fully supportive, but nervous about the future. Hope us find resources (blogs, first-person essays, podcasts) created by and for cis partners of trans people? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2015 - 8 answers

What do I need to know before going in for major surgery (GRS edition)?

So I've just been given a date for some genital reconstruction surgery in a couple of months, and am looking for advice on how best to plan for surviving the hospital stay and recovery without going insane, and what I need to know. If you've had this sort of thing done, what'd you wish you'd known or done? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 17, 2015 - 2 answers

Try A Little Tenderness

How can I feel more comfortable around men, and find men who are gentle and solid and who I might like to date (as a queer/bi trans woman)? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Nov 14, 2015 - 10 answers

Other languages' terms for transgender?

What are some terms for transgender in other languages, especially Spanish? What words do they use to identify themselves? [more inside]
posted by the bird at the bottom of the tree on Nov 13, 2015 - 11 answers

How did you quickly implement lifestyle changes?

On doctor's orders, I need to fairly drastically change my diet and activity level on short notice. I've never had to watch or track what I ate. The specific goal is to maintain a healthy blood pressure and I am highly motivated; I've explained why inside. If you've done this, what tools did you use to plan and track your progress? What changes were most important in reducing your blood pressure? [more inside]
posted by desjardins on Oct 16, 2015 - 23 answers

Should I buy a PPO insurance plan in addition to my Kaiser coverage?

I have Kaiser insurance through my mom's employer (I'm 23), but due to the fact that I'm trans and have psychiatric illnesses I'm really unsatisfied with the care that I get through Kaiser. Let's put it this way: I'm totally at my wit's end. More and more I'm thinking it might be a good idea to buy a PPO plan (Blue Shield, et al) through Covered California this enrollment period. Could you help me suss out some of the issues at play here? Snowflake details within. [more inside]
posted by lilies.lilies on Oct 13, 2015 - 13 answers

Ashamed of dating a transwoman or am I respecting her/my privacy?

I'm a male in my late twenties and I consider myself straight. I'm not interested in men or dating a man, and have always had relationships with women. I dated a trans woman for two and a half years. (I'm loathe to specify the 'trans' and to feel like I have to assert that I'm straight but it's relevant to my question.) I'm now not sure about whether to disclose this to my current girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 12, 2015 - 38 answers

Help me feel less weird about my name change!

I’m changing my name (for non-marriage reasons) and having a hard time. Looking for advice on how to make this easier and more positive, how to normalize it in conversation with people and deal with rudeness or nosiness, and also on dealing with a sense of loss and finding ways or rites to mark and celebrate this change. [more inside]
posted by ITheCosmos on Sep 30, 2015 - 16 answers

Help me build a future!

I'm in a caring profession which is being cut and slashed repeatedly by government financial cuts here in the UK. I'm tired of having a precarious life where I'm not sure where I'll be living and what I'll be doing from one month to the next. Being in the process of transitioning male-to-female, I'm looking to build a little more stability into my life, so that I can plan a real future for myself rather than just surviving on a short-term basis. Help me build a future! [more inside]
posted by winterhill on Aug 10, 2015 - 4 answers

What is the view of trans men in India and the Philippines?

I'm a white American project manager who works extensively with engineers in India and the Philippines (almost all male). All of them know me as female but I am going to come out as a trans man fairly soon. I have no idea how transgenderism (and specifically trans men) are viewed in Indian/Filipino culture. What might I expect? Should I handle the transition any differently with them than with American/Euro colleagues? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 30, 2015 - 12 answers

Help me come out to my psychiatrist!

I have an upcoming appointment with my psychiatrist at the end of the month. I want to tell her that I'm transgendered and want to start HRT. I have a general outline of the things I want to say, but I want to make sure I'm not missing anything significant. Snowflakes: Bipolar II, broke up with my partner about three-four months back. Insurance via N. California Kaiser. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 24, 2015 - 11 answers

Experience with sperm banks in NYC?

A young relative is transgender and will soon be transitioning to female. Before doing so, she'd like to freeze sperm. Where should she go? What do we need to know? [more inside]
posted by islandeady on Jul 16, 2015 - 5 answers

Packing for my flight

I'm a trans man who is flying (domestic US flights) tomorrow. Can I wear a packer through security? [more inside]
posted by cheerwine on Jul 6, 2015 - 25 answers

Best college practices re: transgender students

What are the best practices right now, as far as official college policies dealing with transgender students' needs? For example, making it easy to change your name on campus records. Are there any good examples of colleges doing things right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2015 - 13 answers

How does job hunting work while transitioning genders?

I'm in the beginning stages of transitioning from to female to male. Only my friends know at this point; I haven't said anything at work and I haven't started hormones (yet) so it's not very obvious physically. For many reasons, I want to start looking for another job but I'm wondering how to handle it with an impending transition. How do I present myself? How do I handle references when they know me as another name? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jun 24, 2015 - 6 answers

Resources for a teacher to handle bullying in her class.

An acquaintance of mine needs resources to help one of her students who is being bullied for being (apparently) LGBTQ. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Promethea on Jun 15, 2015 - 5 answers

Catchy name ideas for a transgender support group?

I am the volunteer marketing director for a transgender support group. I am trying to come up with a better name for it. I seek your assistance! [more inside]
posted by battleshipkropotkin on Jun 4, 2015 - 15 answers

Transgender Studies 102: Pronouns again

I've noticed that some websites, including the wikipedia page, are using "she" retroactively (i.e., "she won the gold medal in the decathalon at the 1976 Summer Olympics") for Caitlyn Jenner. I've always assumed that you use the pronoun of the gender which the person presents, so that we'd use "he" for Bruce Jenner prior to 2015, and "she" for Caitlyn Jenner from here on out. But I honestly don't know. Is there an accepted standard?
posted by kanewai on Jun 1, 2015 - 12 answers

Adopting and maintaining cis privilege as someone who is trans

My husband and I are talking about starting a family in a year or two, when we’ve paid off some debt. At this point I'm just beginning to do research and figure out how the process works, but I am curious if my situation will be a stumbling block. [more inside]
posted by polywomp on May 12, 2015 - 10 answers

Identity without erasure?

I'm planning to change my name, but I'm a little uncomfortable with removing the clear marker of latina identity that my surname provided in the past. How do I still represent my Mexican heritage and avoiding unintended erasure of ethnicity, as a white-passing individual? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on May 4, 2015 - 17 answers

Tips for indulging in some femme alone time

How do I cultivate a more relaxing/sensual/sexy mood while masturbating, as a trans woman very much over old dudely habits? Vibrators, lube, and Bjork inside.. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2015 - 8 answers

Is going no-contact my only choice here?

I'm a trans woman, and my mom is completely unaccepting of my transition, and I feel like I need to cut her out of my life entirely. Is that my only option? [more inside]
posted by and they trembled before her fury on Apr 23, 2015 - 29 answers

How do I "come out" to my new office that my partner is trans?

I (cis het male, 30YO) just joined a new company a month ago, and my partner has asked that I ask my coworkers use preferred pronouns when talking about them. I've not even done this with my closest friends - not sure how to proceed. What do I say? To who? How? [more inside]
posted by rebent on Apr 10, 2015 - 51 answers

Is there an adoption registration for disowned gay youth?

I would totally be willing to take in a kid who has been disowned by his/her parents for being LBTG. Is there somewhere I could register for that? Note: I am legally married cisgender woman with three young children of my own. Not being gay myself, there should be no legal obstacles in that regard. I'm just trying to connect with a disowned population.
posted by wwartorff on Apr 4, 2015 - 6 answers

Namefilter? Not quite, nameCHANGEfilter (and gender too).

Dual nationality edition. And stateless until 4 years old. I'm trans. In which country do I have to change my legal name and gender? What? You want MORE snowflake details? Ok, ok, some more after the jump. [more inside]
posted by Promethea on Mar 10, 2015 - 12 answers

So... how do I trans?

I'm 30 this year, and I've known something's up with my gender identity since... well, since ever. Over the past year or so, I've come to realise through a lot of reading, thinking, talking that I'm male-to-female transgender. My feelings of dysphoria aren't going away, and they're getting worse, but I'm not making any practical progress towards transition because Life Stuff keeps happening and giving me an excuse to put off scary stuff. I need to do something about this, but I'm struggling to find practical resources for transitioning women around my age. [more inside]
posted by winterhill on Mar 9, 2015 - 13 answers

Transgender support in Brazil?

A transgender friend of mine said in a chatroom last night "Right now I'm just regretting I didn't manage to kill myself earlier last month when I tried." She is roughly five thousand miles away. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by Evilspork on Mar 4, 2015 - 7 answers

How to support myself while supporting my transitioning spouse?

Looking for emotional guidance while my spouse goes through gender reassignment. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2015 - 10 answers

What is a good academic introduction to transgender theory?

I'm updating a graduate survey course in critical theory that cavasses all the main 'isms' and is quite high level. It includes readings and discussions on feminist and queer philosophies and literary theories but there is currently no section on transgender at all. I'd like to change this. What's the best academic introduction to transgender or transgender theory/politics, the position of transgender within queer theory that you've read? It needs to be scholarly but memoir or personal reflection or journalism could also be okay as further readings. Suitable for Masters students so it can be philosophical/dense/complex. Happy to hear of any ideas for readings that fall outside these requirements if you think I'm going about this the wrong way too. It would need to be a book chapter or journal article not a whole book. Thanks!
posted by JayAlfred on Jan 20, 2015 - 11 answers

Unsupportive grandparents of a transgender child

My oldest child, age 12, has recently come out as transgender. We are trying to show her our unconditional support, but her grandparents are unlikely to be as supportive. Suggestions for coping? Difficulty: Asian and Catholic. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2015 - 22 answers

Relating to a colleague who has come out as Transgender to me

A woman at work came out to me earlier this week as Transgender (she is, I am fairly certain, a woman who was assigned male at birth). I'm not sure I handled it well and based on the generally sensible, kind, and intelligent way that Trans* issues are discussed on Metafilter (especially when compared to other places on the web) I am hoping for some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2015 - 23 answers

Cooter or bust!

Help me move to Vermont and acquire a vagina. (This is not a joke.) Insurance and relocation-related questions within. [more inside]
posted by nebulawindphone on Dec 4, 2014 - 13 answers

Gender transition and grad school applications

I'm a transgender woman in my last year of an undergraduate degree. I'm currently using male pronouns and my given name in most situations, but I'm planning to come out over Christmas break and use female pronouns and a new name in the spring semester, which will be my last before graduation. If I apply to computer science grad schools after I graduate, is my transition likely to cause complications which could hurt my application? [more inside]
posted by unknot on Oct 10, 2014 - 9 answers

Inclusiveness and Diversity in Games

Help me understand how to make trans-inclusive games. [more inside]
posted by tocts on Oct 1, 2014 - 21 answers

Background checks while trans*

I know that YANML, but does going through a background check to work in a state-licensed childcare center in New Mexico require that you disclose your legal name change? If so, who sees this disclosure: just the background check company, the state, or the potential employer? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 17, 2014 - 13 answers

Gender Dysphoria or Schizophrenia or both? How to tell, what to do?

Looking for information and support for family of a man grappling with (maybe) emerging schizophrenia and/or gender dysphoria. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2014 - 12 answers

How do I "I do?"

My partner and I are having a wedding in two months. We'd like to get legally married before the ceremony, but can't decide what the best option for us would be. My partner is a man, but here in Ohio it isn't possible for him to change his birth certificate to match this. Do we go to another state to marry, or try to get a license in Ohio? [more inside]
posted by dinofuzz on Jul 25, 2014 - 11 answers

Aestheticians, et cetera for a transitioning trans lady in NYC

A friend of mine who is transitioning has asked me to ask MeFi for a couple of recommendations for beauty-related services in New York City. Needs and requirements as follows: [more inside]
posted by brina on Jul 17, 2014 - 2 answers

Help a cis and trans lesbian couple make a baby.

Can you help a cis and trans lesbian couple try to have a baby? Looking for resources, forums, blogs, columns, articles, and anything else that might be helpful. [more inside]
posted by trogdole on Jun 26, 2014 - 5 answers

Cute short feminine hairstyles for curly haired trans lady?

Hello everyone! I am early in my transition as a trans woman and am working on growing my hair out. In the meantime I am interested in figuring out some way to do my hair that looks cute and feminine and doesn't require a ton of maintenance. [more inside]
posted by tinyfolk on Jun 20, 2014 - 49 answers

How do I know if I'm covered?

I am a trans woman. Recently, I received a job offer from a private higher education institution in New York City. I would really like to accept the job, but repeated conversations with the individual who recruited me—who has been asking questions on my behalf to the institution's Human Resources department—have left me unsure whether or not their health insurance will cover trans-related care. How do I get this information? Can I get this information? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2014 - 21 answers

A minor question about transgender nomenclature and etiquette.

A former distant colleague of mine is a trans woman. I'm pretty clear on the importance of not misgendering people, but I'm running into one or two slightly awkward practical issues in making sure I don't screw that up. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2014 - 21 answers

Seeking style blogs by and for trans women

I am looking for style blogs by and for trans women — either single-contributor "here's what I wore today" blogs or tumblr/pinterest-type aggregators. Details within. [more inside]
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. on Dec 14, 2013 - 7 answers

I'm new to this fashion thing.

I could really use some fashion tips and am feeling in over my head. Difficulty level: Hard - Recently actualized transwoman on a tight budget. [more inside]
posted by spungfoo on Sep 2, 2013 - 18 answers

Transmasculine / Masculine-of-Center Fashion Blogs

I'm a queer girl who sometimes likes to dress like a boy. I would like suggestions for fashion blogs that focus on genderqueer/butch/trans fashion. I'm especially looking for style aesthetics other than the very popular "dapper" look. [more inside]
posted by Juliet Banana on Aug 23, 2013 - 6 answers

A children's book about gender change

The book I'm looking for is one I remember reading in my childhood. It had a boy as a protagonist. It was similar to The Wizard of Oz in that the boy was travelling with friends through a magical realm to free it from some kind of oppressive rule. And when the boy arrived to the happy ending (which I think took place in the royal palace) it was revealed that actually he's not a boy - he's a girl. A princess, to be exact. And a rightful ruler of the realm. Which came as quite a shock to him/her. I must have been less than 10 years old when I read it, which places the book in the 1970s. Did I imagine it or does it really exist? (it is possible that I mixed it up with The Wizard of Oz, although I think I've read it later).
posted by hat_eater on Jul 11, 2013 - 7 answers

Reading recommendations on queer families

I want to read more about alternative family structures in queer communities, particularly trans* communities, particularly communities of and for queer transpeople of color. What can you recommend? [more inside]
posted by liketitanic on Jun 29, 2013 - 4 answers

Trans-feminist bloggers in the vein of Natalie Reed?

I need more sources for smart, trans-aware intersectional feminism. [more inside]
posted by Corinth on Jun 12, 2013 - 5 answers

Trans and moving: Chicago or Seattle?

The next city I live in will be the city where I start taking hormones and eventually try to pass as female in public. Should it be Chicago or Seattle? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2013 - 22 answers

Opting out of military recruitment

The National Guard thinks I'm in high school and is sending me recruitment materials. I'm not in high school and I'm not going to join the military. Can I make them stop? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2013 - 11 answers

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