94 posts tagged with trans.
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She's leaving home after living alone for so many years

I'm a 23 year old trans woman who lives with my religious parents, deeply closeted. I need to move out as soon as I can, and I think I'm figuring all that stuff out okay... I just don't know how to get myself to actually do it. And I don't know how to approach my parents about any of this. I know I am going to hurt them and I know they've given me no choice, but I'm still feeling a lot of guilt over it. Convince me I'm doing the right thing :/ [more inside]
posted by Flower Grower on Aug 21, 2016 - 30 answers

Queer short films appropriate for teens

I facilitate an LGBTQ+ teen support group that meets weekly, and next week we're renting a space with an auditorium and projector so that we can watch a short film and chat about it afterwards. What do we watch? [more inside]
posted by libraritarian on Aug 2, 2016 - 5 answers

Videos of non-binary people on testosterone...

I'm looking for videos/pics of fat trans people. My doctor suggested I look up what non-binary trans people look like on T and I'm having a hard time finding anything that isn't slender beautiful youth. [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jul 14, 2016 - 12 answers

Transgender therapy?

I want to transition. How can I find a trustworthy gender therapist in the Philly suburban area? [more inside]
posted by elsilnora on Jun 28, 2016 - 11 answers

I don’t want to be a woman

How did you “know” you’re trans? [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Jun 21, 2016 - 41 answers

having trouble parsing new HHS rules for insurance companies

Today the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) issued a final rule prohibiting denial of coverage based on gender identity. I am trying to figure out exactly what this means in my situation. [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on May 13, 2016 - 13 answers

Advice for first out of country business trip

I am going to Ontario for a week long business trip in one week. I have never traveled for work, I have never traveled out of the country, and I am terrified. Can you help me understand what I should expect? [more inside]
posted by motioncityshakespeare on May 7, 2016 - 16 answers

This sounds dumb but I don't know what to do in NYC

I'm taking a four day trip to NYC over Memorial Day weekend (solo). I have plans on Sunday evening but other than that, my time is completely unaccounted for. And aside from a few non-specific ideas, I'm overwhelmed by choices. [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Apr 20, 2016 - 32 answers

Where are the thoughtful debates related to transgender rights happening

Can you point me to thoughtful discussions related to transgender rights and locker room/bathroom access? The stuff I see in my social media streams are crazy extremes that talk about child molestation on one end or bigotry on the other end. I'm interested in more thoughtful discussions of these issues. [more inside]
posted by willnot on Apr 14, 2016 - 34 answers

Motherhood, One Not Too Distant Day

What personal development strategies/hacks would you recommend for somebody preparing to adopt as a single working mother in 3-4 years? Special snowflakes inside, general advice welcome too! [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Jan 30, 2016 - 15 answers

I mean, I won't be leaving a cake with a vagina on it in the break room…

Is it crazy to tell my immediate coworkers that the "surgery" I'm taking leave for is indeed SRS? I know I don't have to disclose — but (for snowflake reasons within) I'd honestly really like to. I'd especially love advice from trans people who have dealt with this themselves, or cis coworkers of trans people who have dealt with it well and gracefully. [more inside]
posted by nebulawindphone on Jan 29, 2016 - 47 answers

How to handle a gender transition on LinkedIn

How should I handle a gender transition on LinkedIn? [more inside]
posted by odinsdream on Jan 28, 2016 - 11 answers

Visiting Mexico City as a queer mixed-race couple?

For my 30th birthday, I'm planning a week-long trip to Mexico City with my partner. We both have some concerns about physical/emotional safety, especially for her as a trans WOC. I'm looking for advice and anecdotes from people with experience being brown (as a tourist/non-native) and/or queer in Mexico City. [more inside]
posted by (Over) Thinking on Dec 31, 2015 - 6 answers

I changed my full name (and gender). What account do I need to change?

Because of transgender reasons, I recently legally changed my name in court (and at Social Security and the DMV). I have taken care of my bank and my work accounts. Credit card companies and my ISP require me to mail the paperwork. I feel like I'm missing a lot - can you give me some examples of other stuff I will need to change? What is the most important stuff that I should do first? [more inside]
posted by desjardins on Dec 23, 2015 - 16 answers

Seeking witty rejoinders for when someone gets my name or pronouns wrong

I've just come out as trans at work (like, yesterday) and I know that people are going to struggle with my name and pronouns for awhile, especially since I don't appear super masculine. I am sure that their slip ups won't be out of hostility. I'd like some ideas for jokey corrections that are still appropriate for a white collar workplace. (If "mistakes" persist I will get more serious, and management has my back on this.) [more inside]
posted by desjardins on Dec 16, 2015 - 34 answers

What do you wish you'd known before coming out as trans at work?

I am a trans man and I am legally changing my name and gender marker in 2 weeks. I have still not come out at work. I am extremely anxious about this and want to hear other people's experiences. Preferably from the trans person perspective, but also HR or managers of trans people, especially in white collar environments. [more inside]
posted by desjardins on Dec 7, 2015 - 10 answers

What do I need to know before going in for major surgery (GRS edition)?

So I've just been given a date for some genital reconstruction surgery in a couple of months, and am looking for advice on how best to plan for surviving the hospital stay and recovery without going insane, and what I need to know. If you've had this sort of thing done, what'd you wish you'd known or done? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 17, 2015 - 2 answers

Try A Little Tenderness

How can I feel more comfortable around men, and find men who are gentle and solid and who I might like to date (as a queer/bi trans woman)? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Nov 14, 2015 - 10 answers

Currently, are the children of Jewish trans* women recognised as Jewish?

Question over dinner last night from my nine year old daughter after a long (and ongoing) discussion about advocacy and bullying in schools. LittleTaff:"If a trans woman was Jewish, would her babies be Jewish if she used her seed?" [more inside]
posted by taff on Nov 8, 2015 - 13 answers

How to come out as trans?

Now that I've figured out I'm FTM how do I tell people in my life? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Nov 6, 2015 - 13 answers

Should I buy a PPO insurance plan in addition to my Kaiser coverage?

I have Kaiser insurance through my mom's employer (I'm 23), but due to the fact that I'm trans and have psychiatric illnesses I'm really unsatisfied with the care that I get through Kaiser. Let's put it this way: I'm totally at my wit's end. More and more I'm thinking it might be a good idea to buy a PPO plan (Blue Shield, et al) through Covered California this enrollment period. Could you help me suss out some of the issues at play here? Snowflake details within. [more inside]
posted by lilies.lilies on Oct 13, 2015 - 13 answers

Ashamed of dating a transwoman or am I respecting her/my privacy?

I'm a male in my late twenties and I consider myself straight. I'm not interested in men or dating a man, and have always had relationships with women. I dated a trans woman for two and a half years. (I'm loathe to specify the 'trans' and to feel like I have to assert that I'm straight but it's relevant to my question.) I'm now not sure about whether to disclose this to my current girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 12, 2015 - 38 answers

Help My Trans Friends Be Safe At My Show

I've invited my trans friend to see my band play a party, but I am having anxiety about helping her be safe. What's should I do to make my party a safer space for her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 7, 2015 - 25 answers

My gender is confusing part 2

I finally got up the nerve to phone a trans friendly doctor and have a meet and greet appointment next week to see if she'll take me on as a patient and help me on the road to transitioning. I'm at a loss about what to say and how to explain a few things. Help? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Oct 6, 2015 - 16 answers

Help me feel less weird about my name change!

I’m changing my name (for non-marriage reasons) and having a hard time. Looking for advice on how to make this easier and more positive, how to normalize it in conversation with people and deal with rudeness or nosiness, and also on dealing with a sense of loss and finding ways or rites to mark and celebrate this change. [more inside]
posted by ITheCosmos on Sep 30, 2015 - 16 answers

Documenting my physical transition from female to male

I'm finally starting my physical transition from female to male and I'd like ideas on how to document changes. Selfies, obviously, but what are best practices for photo-a-day type projects? What kind of dataviz things could I do? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Aug 26, 2015 - 8 answers

What is the view of trans men in India and the Philippines?

I'm a white American project manager who works extensively with engineers in India and the Philippines (almost all male). All of them know me as female but I am going to come out as a trans man fairly soon. I have no idea how transgenderism (and specifically trans men) are viewed in Indian/Filipino culture. What might I expect? Should I handle the transition any differently with them than with American/Euro colleagues? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 30, 2015 - 13 answers

Resources for transgender name and pronoun usage in a medical setting

I have the opportunity to help a local medical clinic address their policies and procedures for working with transgender patients, specifically the use of proper names and pronouns. This work may extend into other areas related to treatment of trans patients as I might end up serving on their board. Can you provide some resources and links to help? [more inside]
posted by odinsdream on Jul 30, 2015 - 12 answers

From the 1940s on, what songs/artists are key to trans* issues in rock?

This coming week begins the revisiting of my intro to rock music course syllabus. I will need your help. One key topic is considering transgender issues in rock music, from~1940s to present. What songs and artists are essential to discuss here? [I'm] not quite asking for a list of trans artists, but for songs, themes, and personas that open up to questions of queerness. [more inside]
posted by Going To Maine on Jul 20, 2015 - 37 answers

Packing for my flight

I'm a trans man who is flying (domestic US flights) tomorrow. Can I wear a packer through security? [more inside]
posted by cheerwine on Jul 6, 2015 - 25 answers

How to meet guys while gay and trans

I am ftm trans and while I am not on hormones & have not had surgery, I still pass a decent amount of the time. Sometimes I get long, cruising looks from guys who I am sure are gay (on the street, in a mall). I have no idea how to move forward in these situations; porn is my entire frame of reference and I'm sure it's not that simple. How do guys meet guys in public? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 2, 2015 - 6 answers

Best college practices re: transgender students

What are the best practices right now, as far as official college policies dealing with transgender students' needs? For example, making it easy to change your name on campus records. Are there any good examples of colleges doing things right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2015 - 15 answers

Trans women writers for a high school women's lit class?

I am looking for suggestions for works by trans women (or non-binary) writers for a high school English class entitled "Social Issues in Women's Literature." I am especially interested in shorter pieces (poems, short stories, essays), although excerpts from longer things would be all right too. I am trying to take as intersectional an approach as possible, so I would really value a diversity of voices (trans women of color, non-American, both contemporary and older, etc.). [more inside]
posted by jfaulkner on Jun 22, 2015 - 12 answers

My gender is ....confusing

I identity as genderqueer but as time goes on I think I may actually be a man instead. Can you point me to online support where I can try to sort this stuff out and learn what to do next? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 16, 2015 - 11 answers

Trans and/or non-binary vampires?

After this great thread on the Blue about books with non-binary and gender-fluid characters, I'm looking for books that feature non-binary, genderqueer, and/or trans characters -- who are also vampires. I'm aware of three novels with such characters, which I will list in smalltext after the jump. [more inside]
posted by daisyk on May 20, 2015 - 6 answers

How to help a trans teen when we're friends with his parents?

We're friends with a family with a possibly trans teen, and the parents don't seem to be taking it seriously (e.g., not using his preferred pronoun). What, if anything, could we do to help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2015 - 13 answers

Adopting and maintaining cis privilege as someone who is trans

My husband and I are talking about starting a family in a year or two, when we’ve paid off some debt. At this point I'm just beginning to do research and figure out how the process works, but I am curious if my situation will be a stumbling block. [more inside]
posted by polywomp on May 12, 2015 - 10 answers

Is going no-contact my only choice here?

I'm a trans woman, and my mom is completely unaccepting of my transition, and I feel like I need to cut her out of my life entirely. Is that my only option? [more inside]
posted by and they trembled before her fury on Apr 23, 2015 - 29 answers

How do I "come out" to my new office that my partner is trans?

I (cis het male, 30YO) just joined a new company a month ago, and my partner has asked that I ask my coworkers use preferred pronouns when talking about them. I've not even done this with my closest friends - not sure how to proceed. What do I say? To who? How? [more inside]
posted by rebent on Apr 10, 2015 - 51 answers

What job/field should my partner search for?

My partner wants to get a new job and would like advice for what kind of jobs / industries / job titles to look for. We are in southwest michigan right now, but my partner wants to build skills they could take elsewhere in the country in a few years. After graduating college with an English degree, my partner got a job through a temp agency, and is ready to move on. But neither of us are knowledgeable about what jobs they might be qualified for. Hopes and dreams inside [more inside]
posted by rebent on Mar 20, 2015 - 5 answers

Namefilter? Not quite, nameCHANGEfilter (and gender too).

Dual nationality edition. And stateless until 4 years old. I'm trans. In which country do I have to change my legal name and gender? What? You want MORE snowflake details? Ok, ok, some more after the jump. [more inside]
posted by Promethea on Mar 10, 2015 - 12 answers

So... how do I trans?

I'm 30 this year, and I've known something's up with my gender identity since... well, since ever. Over the past year or so, I've come to realise through a lot of reading, thinking, talking that I'm male-to-female transgender. My feelings of dysphoria aren't going away, and they're getting worse, but I'm not making any practical progress towards transition because Life Stuff keeps happening and giving me an excuse to put off scary stuff. I need to do something about this, but I'm struggling to find practical resources for transitioning women around my age. [more inside]
posted by winterhill on Mar 9, 2015 - 13 answers

Unsupportive grandparents of a transgender child

My oldest child, age 12, has recently come out as transgender. We are trying to show her our unconditional support, but her grandparents are unlikely to be as supportive. Suggestions for coping? Difficulty: Asian and Catholic. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2015 - 22 answers

flannel eye for the tiny, squishy guy

I would like some basic, dude-styled flannel button up shirts. I'm a short, small-framed queer person who stores weight in my chest. "Men's" flannels are generally too large; "women's" often have girly details like darts and little wee pockets and dainty buttons; "boy's" would be perfect but the sleeves are invariably too short. Do you have a body like mine and a basic flannel you love? Where did you buy it? [more inside]
posted by Juliet Banana on Jan 9, 2015 - 26 answers

Cooter or bust!

Help me move to Vermont and acquire a vagina. (This is not a joke.) Insurance and relocation-related questions within. [more inside]
posted by nebulawindphone on Dec 4, 2014 - 13 answers

Trans* Resources for the mundane aspects of transitioning?

I am a transwoman thinking heavily about transitioning, looking for resources that discuss the day-to-day and social aspects of the process. Can you recommend blogs, books, articles, or anything else? Any "Go trans! Yay!" things would be helpful, actually. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2014 - 15 answers

How to plan for a Trans*-friendly public school

Are there resources available to help me help my city build a trans*-friendly high school? (bathrooms, locker rooms, etc) [more inside]
posted by jillithd on Oct 16, 2014 - 9 answers

Inclusiveness and Diversity in Games

Help me understand how to make trans-inclusive games. [more inside]
posted by tocts on Oct 1, 2014 - 21 answers

Trans questions (Houston)

Looking for recommendations for services for a family member who is at the very beginning of transitioning from male to female. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2014 - 3 answers

Background checks while trans*

I know that YANML, but does going through a background check to work in a state-licensed childcare center in New Mexico require that you disclose your legal name change? If so, who sees this disclosure: just the background check company, the state, or the potential employer? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 17, 2014 - 13 answers

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