Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with tradition

Help us forge new holiday traditions!

PhoBWanKenobi — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 07:00:43 -0800

What are some traditions that we can incorporate into our first ~~Christmas~~ solstice together? Mr. WanKenobi and I just got hitched. Our families are in NJ--we're in Florida. To avoid conflict both between our respective families, and each other (he wants to travel to NJ for X-mas this year; I really want to try to get my family to come to me, after flying to colder climes every year for the past three), we've decided to celebrate the "real" holiday apart and to celebrate the solstice together, instead.

We're both agnostic half-Jews who loved Christmas as children. Both of our mothers celebrated only begrudgingly for most of our childhoods, but both my Christian dad and his Christian step-dad are gone now, so the past decade or so has seen serious degradation of any semblance of the holiday traditions that, honestly, once meant a lot to both of us. Nevertheless, there's still a lot of pressure to be with family, even though (especially in my case), this usually means little more than overwrought fighting about presents or what movie we're going to see. Yuck. Unfortunately, there's no way for either of us to get out of that without a lot of hurt feelings.

I'm hoping that celebrating in Florida on the 21st, instead, will give both the Mister and me a chance to inject some much need joy and fun into the holiday season. I'm looking forward to resurrecting some traditions from both of our childhoods, but I also realize that this is a chance to forge some new ones as well. Because we're not religious, they can be from any religious tradition, really, or they could even be wholly invented. So far, I'm thinking of a wassail bowl, a tree, and some Christmas movies burned to DVD, but I would love to hear suggestions for traditions or customs that make mefites feel warm and fuzzy about the holiday season!

Dead chicken + money + cigar = ?

serazin — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:55:15 -0800

What cultural or spiritual practice involves an alter or offering incorporating a dead chicken and money? Twice in the last few years, I've come across similar assemblies of objects that have intrigued me. The first was in a fairly undeveloped woodsy park in Oakland, California. It included a behead chicken - feathers still on, a half-smoked cigar, a few one dollar bills, and some coins. That was several years ago.

Then recently I was walking near my East Oakland home and found on the edge of the sidewalk, in front of a vacant lot, a box containing a dead chicken and a a handful of loose change. The chicken was somehow eviscerated, with intestine spilling loosely into the box.

I'm curious to know what religion, tradition, or culture uses this kind of alter or offering or whatnot. I'd love to hear any details you might know about it! Thanks.

Putting all your eggs in one window.

Webbster — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 12:45:39 -0800

The other day a childhood memory came back to me. Forgot all about it until we bought and were talking about our Easter Eggs. When I were a kid back in the North West (of England) we were given Easter Eggs as presents. What we used to is then put them in the front room/living room (which ever room was facing the street) window to display them to anyone walking past.

Now why did we do that ?
And is it still done nowadays ?

It seems like a silly thing to do because if it were sunny the chocolate would melt, but this was Manchester so the chances of that happening were slim.

(Additional note for any Americans - the Easter Eggs we have in the UK are usually big hollow eggs with gifts/prizes or more chocolate inside them)

Extra query - Was this "tradition" just local to where I was or did everybody do it ?

Why do people get pinched on St. Paddy's Day?

filthy light thief — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 09:18:25 -0800

What is the history behind pinching those who don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day? This WikiAnswer page says it was thought that "if you wore green, it made you invisible to the Leprechauns, which was good because they would pinch anyone they could see." The full answer, as posted currently, is:

Pinching those not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day is an American tradition, having really nothing to do with Ireland or St. Patrick. It's thought that the pinching started in the early 1700s, about the time that awareness of St. Patrick's as a holiday came to the fore, too, in Boston, in the Massachusetts colony. They thought if you wore green, it made you invisible to the Leprechauns, which was good because they would pinch anyone they could see. So the pinching is to warn and remind you about the Leprechauns.

Copied for posterity, and ease of review.

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.

Steve_at_Linnwood — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 09:44:20 -0800

How accurate is Punxsutawney Phil? If Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow we are supposed to in for six more weeks of winter. Clearly, this isn't science, but how many times has the little "rat" correctly predicted the winter?

How to marry an Italian and not embarrass one's self in the process

jrichards — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 08:00:20 -0800

How to have an Italian wedding? I am an American getting married to my Italian fiance, in his hometown in Italy, this December. We have the legal stuff figured out and are planning to get legally married here in the states a couple weeks before traveling to Italy for the Catholic ceremony and reception.

Weddings are not really my thing, and Italian weddings are a total mystery. I want the wedding to reflect me too, but I am having a hard time figuring out what is and isn't sacred - like will everyone be horrified if I wear a simple dress with no train or veil? There seems to be less variation in Italian weddings than here in the U.S.

All of the resources I've found so far are directed at Americans who are traveling to Italy for a destination wedding and more or less planning an American wedding in Italy. My fiance keeps telling me we can do whatever we want, but I don't want to stray too far outside the lines. I've tried asking our Italian friends, but they have a hard time describing what's different about an Italian wedding, because it's the only thing they know. Oh- also my Italian is not great, so I'm having a hard time finding info online (there MUST be Italian bride blogs, right?).

Can anyone recommend a good book or website that would help me understand what usually goes on at a modern Italian wedding? Even more helpful would be something by an American who's been through this before. [ps. We are getting married outside of Rome, if you have advice about regional traditions.]

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

netbros — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 10:56:43 -0800

Do atheists and agnostics put up Christmas trees? I was raised in the Christian faith, but consider myself agnostic now. It was tradition in my family as a youngster to have a Christmas tree. As an adult, I have usually done this, in fact, I just put one up in my home today. I'm sitting here wondering... why?

Traditions, turkeyless, and tears

czechmate — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 05:00:30 -0800

This is the first Thanksgiving we're having since my mom passed away 4 months ago, and I'm not looking forward to it. My sister has invited my little family (me, hubby, and 3yr old) to her in-laws house, but I'm not comfortable with their family. I want to start a tradition at our home, cook something small but special, and do something so I'm not thinking about her all day and how much my heart is broken. I was extremely close to my mom, and this Thanksgiving is the first major holiday without her and also would have marked her 70th birthday.
I love my sister dearly and I do enjoy her in-laws, but their Thanksgiving holiday is full of 30-40 strangers to me and I'm not comfortable being involved in a production that big. I just want me, my husband, and our little one to stay at home quietly, watch the Macy's Day parade, cook, and maybe plan some family activities.
I'm really looking to starting a tradition of some sort. We had one with mom (which I plan to incorporate), but I want something new as well.

Being that we're 3 people, cooking large amounts of Thanksgiving staples seems a bit silly. I want to cook something extravagant to really make the day special, but I'm not sure what to make.
We have tried to invite friends over, but they're doing their own thing and have tried inviting us. But I really want to stick close to home and with my little family.

So the questions are, what are some traditions we can start and what are some things I can cook?

Happy Christmas and to all a Good Night!

santojulieta — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 13:27:05 -0800

What are some UK Christmas holiday traditions? I made my second trip to England this year, and loved it just as much as the last time I was there. To my surprise, my husband LOVED it. So, he's really interested in starting some new Christmas traditions based around our honemoon in London and Edinburgh.

If you are from the UK or have spent your holidays in the UK, what sorts of fun things do you do that we Americans do not traditionally do?

Invited to Sukkot

mamaraks — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 10:25:12 -0800

Just found out we have been invited to attend a Jewish friend's home for Sukkot today. Can anyone help me figure out what do we bring, what do we wear, and is there anything we need to know so we can support our friend during this important time for him?

Help me identify this folk/religious tradition/concept

potch — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:22:36 -0800

Help me identify: possibly Judaic (maybe Yiddish) folk tradition of a very small group of individuals for whom God allows the world exist. The point being there's no way of knowing if any individual is one of those chosen few, thus necessitating kindness and decency to all. Tell me I'm not insane- I could've sworn I read about this on Ask a year or two ago, but my searching just isn't finding it. After an aggravating hour or so of Google/Mefi digging, I'm coming here. It's a completely interesting and intriguing premise that resonates with me for some reason, so identifying would be awesome. I've probably bastardized the concept slightly, and the group to which it belongs, but any help would rule.

I need some portable history for my commute!

Asherah — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 21:30:12 -0800

Is the Eugen Weber lecture series 'The Western Tradition' available via podcast? I know the videos are available via www.learner.org, however I'd like to listen to the late Professor's lectures on the go. Are these available anywhere?

Undeserved nostalgia?

Monochrome — Tue, 06 May 2008 01:06:15 -0800

When was the past better than the present? I'd like to know the word or phrase that describes the romanticism people have of the past, e.g. "In those days, children respected their elders!". I was watching the documentary Born Rich and Cody Franchetti mentions that the encyclopedia was better in the early 20th century. Why? This feeling that "old ways are better" is not exactly nostalgia, because often people expressing this sentiment didn't actually grow up in this utopian past. But their feelings toward this time are exactly like nostalgia. My memory may be failing me, but I recall learning in history class that people during the Renaissance had this love of all things ancient. Where did they get such an idea? It seems the opposite of the idea of "progress", which I associate with the Victorians, yet also associate with Enlightenment ideals which were born out of the Renaissance. Via searching Wikipedia, I find that this is the antithesis of "chronological snobbery". So what is it called?

Also, why is it prevalent? It's easier for me to understand the assumption inherent in Victorian's progressive ideas: we learn from the past's mistakes, so we don't make the same mistakes. But how does one intuitively decide that the present is decaying?

How do I gently tell my mom that I do not want her to join my dad in walking me down the aisle?

nataliedanger — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:30:39 -0800

How do I gently tell my mom that I do not want her to join my dad in walking me down the aisle? I am getting married in a few weeks. For the past several weeks my mom has been asking me if I am going to have my dad walk me down the aisle. I thought she was just being absent-minded, because my answer was always "yes". Yesterday she told me that she wants to walk me down with my father (I guess asking me over and over was her way of hinting that she wanted this?)
Now, the problem is that I haven't really told my mom "no" to anything she wants as far as the wedding goes. She hasn't asked for much, and I don't have a lot of specific desires, so its not that I wouldn't say no if I didn't like something.
My relationship with my father has always been strained, but we are getting along well these days and I tend to be pretty traditional as far as this wedding is concerned.
My parents are recently separated, and although they have a civil, friendly relationship, I know that my mom didn't want my dad to do this because of some personal grudges.
Long story short: I only want my father to walk me down the aisle. My mother has been involved in everything else. How can I break this to her as gently as possible?
Also, am I being disrespectful? I haven't demanded anything for this wedding, and I am trying to keep it as low-key as possible for both my and my parents' sake. This is the only thing I really want- but does it make me a bridezilla?

What do different cultures do with wishbones?

tumbleweedjack — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:31:57 -0800

What do different cultures do with a bird's wish-bone? Here in the US, two people tug on it to get a wish... but in Iran, two people tug on it to start a bet- the first person to successfully hand the other person an object says "yad-e toro faramoosh" which basically means "you forgot!" and they lose the bet and have to do whatever was agreed on beforehand... the wishbone is kind of just a formality.
I'm explaining it bad but basically what I want to know is, do other cultures have different traditions dealing with the wishbone?

Locket Etiquette

cjorgensen — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 07:40:20 -0800

I am buying the girlfriend a locket. One of the ones I am looking at has a space for a photo on each side. What goes where? I know there are probably no hard and fast rules on this, but what does tradition hold?

I think it's a bit narcissistic and redundant to put two photos of myself in there. She thinks it'd be silly to wear one of herself around her neck.

We have no kids.

She suggested a photo on one side, and a note on the other, which is what we will probably do, but was wondering how people usually handle this.

We may skirt the whole issue by getting one that only holds one photo.

I wanna (healthier?) eastah egg!

dancinglamb — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 10:12:19 -0800

What's on the dinner table at your Polish Easter celebration? All of my Polish relatives have passed on, so I don't have anybody to ask what traditional stuff they served at Easter. In the past I've done pierogies with onion and bacon, ham, kielbasa, mashed potatoes, golabki, hard boiled eggs, babka, chrusciki, the Butter Lamb... You know, the good artery-clogging basics.

I'm thinking I need to, ummm, add something with a little more nutritional value. I've been Googling but it seems that the only other thing remotely involving veggies is the buraczki or chrzan.

The bottom line: are there Polish veggie recipes? And can you point me in that direction? Thanks!

Will you marry me (even if I don't spend 2 months of my salary on a ring)?

mpls2 — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 14:07:05 -0800

How common is it for couples to get married without an expensive engagement ring? Basically, because of my background and general worldview, I think the idea of an expensive diamond engagement ring is... absurd. Kind of like going to church on Sunday: traditional and pointless. Using the money for a down payment on a house or investing it for retirement seems so obviously more sensible that I'm wondering why everybody but the rich doesn't do it.

I know I'm not alone in thinking this, but I'm wondering how common it is for couples to forgo an expensive engagement ring. Sources, anecdotes, and opinions are welcome.

Thanks!

The making of... My movie night tradition!

meindee — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 18:22:28 -0800

I have lived in a studio apartment for the past several years and avoided having people over to hang out. Now that I've graduated to a one-bedroom apartment, I'm more comfortable having comany over again. My apartment is still pretty small, but I'm working on making it inviting. My idea: First Friday movie night. Now what? I'd like your suggestions on two specifics:

1. Friends and family are a good start for the first month. Is it cheesy to encourage each of them to invite someone new next time? Or should I let this happen if it's going to happen? Any ideas on how to move this along (other than inviting the neighbors right off)? I have room for 10-15 people. It's still just a living room after all...

2. Movies! Suggestions so far have been: Brigadoon, Crash, Little Mermaid, Amelie and a few others. I'd like to avoid subtitles, blood, date movies or anything that might cause people to fall asleep. (I'm thinking that the second part of the tradition might be going out for drinks after.) Age range: 25-40. Men and women. Gay and straight. Liberal to not-as-liberal-but-still-welcome-in-my-home. Any suggestions for a mixed crowd?

When the past isn't even a foreign country

holgate — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 09:44:46 -0800

Which aspects of everyday life for Samuel Johnson or Benjamin Franklin have now essentially vanished from the world? Inspired by this RadioLab segment on an artist who consciously adopted a lifestyle as close to that of the early 1900s as he can manage, I started thinking about everyday life in Europe or colonial America during the last decades of the pre-industrial age: in particular, which elements of that lifestyle are obsolete even in the developing world? There are places where the horse is still the main mode of transport; where farming is done by hand; where light and heat come from open flames.

Legal chattel slavery (as opposed to the underground trade) is the one thing I can think of. Anything else come to mind?

What's with the branch?

onhazier — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 06:41:05 -0800

Why does a building under construction have a leafy branch tacked to the peak of the first roof joist over the building entrance? On the way to work each day, I pass a construction site. I've noticed that a leafy branch was tacked to the joist above the door. My husband says it is some tradition but he doesn't remember the meaning or where it started. Can you fill me in?

Oral tradition stories

London Irregular — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 11:50:06 -0800

Hello dudes. Do you know where I can find recordings of good oral tradition storytellers on/offline? (in English)

A round on the house

stupidsexyFlanders — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 09:09:26 -0800

I was in a bar the other night and the bartender passed out a poker chip to everybody in the house, which was, I found out, how the bartender or bar owner buys a round for everybody. I never saw this before. How widespread is this tradition (a round on the house via passing out a token to everybody?)

Flowers for baby boys?

symbebekos — Mon, 24 Jan 2005 15:43:16 -0800

Is there a traditional kind of flower or color of rose given for the birth of a baby boy? A friend of mine just delivered, and I want to skip the blue teddy bears and get this right.

A knife and a penny - origin of?

robbie01 — Sun, 23 Jan 2005 20:45:45 -0800

I gave my girlfriend's grandmother a set of kitchen knives as a gift. She told my girlfriend I needed to give her a penny as well, for good luck. I remember when I was a kid, my dad would give me pocket knives, but ask that I give him a penny in return (he used to say something like, "You can't give or trade someone for a knife. You have to sell it to them." I can understand the selling part, except why would I have to give my girlfriend's grandmother a penny as well? Anyone know the origin of this tradition? Or is it a superstition?