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I'm a 35 yr old single male with no ties to anyone, totally alone and miserable. I need friends but I'm too untalkative and I can't change..

Anonymous — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:27:54 -0800

I'm a 35 yr old single male with no ties to anyone, totally alone and miserable. I need friends but I'm too untalkative and I can't change.. I'm in a real tough spot. I'll just give a rundown of the current situation. I'm 35.. I look a lot younger though. I make a good buddy.. like the steve buscemi character in big lebowski.

I known a few guys who were like the dude. Actually, more like john goodman's character. Older, big fat guys who still check out hot 21 year olds, who are perpetual losers, but lovable guys. I got a friend like that..not a loser though.. but you know, kinda a manly man kind of guy. Big, chunky balding, has a med. marijuana card, that kind of guy..

I'm like this short, youngish looking.. minority.. totally random. I usually make odd-couple friendships. Like those old cartoons.. the big dog, and the little dog hopping around him. I'm the little dog, only quiet. I usually pair up with the talkative big dog who talks a wee bit too much to repel everyone around him, so he turns to me and because I don't talk much, I pay attention.

So I wind up in that tough spot because I too become sort of annoyed, but then he's the only friend I got. I got no confidence to be friends with the people I think I really should be with.

I'm just not talkative, and I can't help it. That's how I am. I never thought early on.. hmm, I should talk more. No, I just do my thing.. I had friends before.. I'm fine how I am.

When I try to force myself to be more talkative in that way you need to be to make friends, it just doesn't go good. I become unfunny.. or just awkward. I relate more to guys like robert deniro who become really awkward when interacting with really normal social kind of people.. and sometimes you think they're better off as quiet..

It's hard. I don't got any friends anymore and finding new ones is.. not only difficult, but it's making me sink further into this isolation, depression, you name it.

What can I do??? What??

grab keys

raztaj — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 09:27:51 -0800

I dropped my keys down the elevator in my apartment building. Is there any way I can retrieve them? I was carrying an armful of laundry down to the basement, and dropped my keys. They fell down the elevator shaft. I'm on the second floor. They fell down past the first floor, to the basement (laundry level). From the basement, I can see the "bottom" of the elevator shaft - about 4.

Is there any way I can retrieve them with some magnetic pole/magnet on a stick device?

I do have copies, but lost like, my "member pass" keychain things, as well as keys when I visit family (which can be remade). This is more of a convenience factor, than dire necessity.

But seriously... has anyone had any luck with this? What kind of magnetic pole devices can I poke down into the 2.5-3" crevice?

Mummy, why is that man wearing a shirt dress?

oxford blue — Sun, 25 May 2008 20:43:25 -0800

Shirt too long to wear untucked—what to do? Or just hang with it. I've recently bought a few 'L' size Ralph Lauren casual long-sleeve button down shirts off eBay; while they're all very impressive, they are very long. Long like they look like a bizarre male night-dress long. So much so that I'm think I can't really wear them untucked, which I'd prefer to do. Their length is fine if I want to wear them tucked in (for more formal/dressier situations), but as an overweight guy tucked shirts plus pants equals belly issues! So on the whole I'd prefer to wear shirts untucked. I'm young as well, which lends one more to untucked shirts also.

As such, is it possible to have them taken up ('hemmed'? is that the word?)? Roughly, like what I'd do if I had some pants that were too long.

Or is the length just part of the 'RL appeal', and as such people will not laugh at me if I wear them untucked (and coming down to my mid-thighs) when I'm out and about? I have a few polo shirts that are longer in the back flap/vent, so maybe it's all about length?

Learning assertive communication

mintchip — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 19:35:46 -0800

Can you guys recommend any resources for learning assertive communication? In my family I learned to avoid conflict at all costs. Therefore, I don't know how to approach "difficult conversations" directly. For instance, if a friend flakes on me at the last minute, or says they will call me to make weekend plans and then don't, I simply don't know how to broach the topic and tell them I don't like it without sounding like a b*tch. On the flip side, when I don't say anything or am too nice about it, I'm at risk for being a doormat.

I really want to learn the way to address these issues assertively. What works for you? I feel that the issue would be pretty easy for me to resolve except that I don't always have the verbal facility--the actual words--that will let me get my point across in the right way. Whenever I do address something it always sounds "mean" to me.

I will consider books but am hoping there might be resources I'm not aware of (online videos or tapes, etc.) that others can recommend.

Blake for the dense

Jezztek — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 19:59:34 -0800

I'm a person who is apparently too dense to understand poetry, but I'm looking for a collection of William Blake's work. I know that there exists a million and one collections of his poetry and prose, but what I'm really looking for is a collection of his work that also includes a brief explanation of what it was I just read after each poem.

For example, upon reading The Tyger for the first time I was attracted to the flow and the imagery but had absolutely no clue what it was actually about. It might as well been a collection of semi-random words in a pleasing pattern to my eyes. So I popped over to Wikipedia and read their brief summary and of course it all clicked (in hind sight seemed so obvious) and soon found myself enthralled by the poem.

So yeah, are there any collections that cut out the middle man and have his poems side by side with a discussion on what he was trying to say (preferably just a short little summary to push me in the right direction, no need for a full on set of cliff notes)?

Its not my biggest fan, so why it screaming at me?

gergtreble — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 22:50:34 -0800

My graphics card is too noisy! Can i just disconnect the fan? Will that make it catch fire? I recently acquired a ATI Radeon 9600 pro AGP graphics card. And its noisy. The fan makes a hell of a racket.

So as I don't really use this particular computer for gaming. I was wondering If it would be ok if I disconnected the fan?

Or would I be better underclocking it so it doesn't run so hot.

Any ideas? If i was sure it wouldn't go pop I'd unplug it right now.

What can I do with lots of ginger?

Etaoin Shrdlu — Sun, 30 Apr 2006 19:46:42 -0800

What can I do with lots of ginger? I've got pounds of fresh ginger that has to get used pretty quick. What can I make with it? Bonus points if I don't have to peel it.