Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with tipping

Tipping Housekeeping, London Version

still_wears_a_hat — Thu, 09 May 2013 01:52:44 -0800

I'm in London, staying in a nice little self-catering flat. Do I tip the guy who's been doing the cleaning? I have been here for 8 weeks, and am about to leave. The cleaner comes once a week, cleans, and gives me fresh linens. But he's also been very helpful - things like showing me how to work the appliances, and lending me his keys so a friend could use my room one day. I'm not sure whether his job is cleaning only, or if he does other things as well, though I know he doesn't work at the desk or do any paperwork.

I can see that tipping has become a lot more common here since my previous visits, but also have a pretty clear memory that at least in some circumstances, tipping might be (or might have been in the past) considered insulting. I see from answers to this recent question that in general, I should be tipping housekeeping, but it looks like all those answers are from the U.S.

So - should I tip him? Can I tip him? And how much?

Is tipping at hotels sex-biased?

KimikoPi — Wed, 08 May 2013 12:21:30 -0800

I've never worked in any hospitality industry, so I'm just wondering as a casual consumer/observer. How come people are supposed to tip their valets and bellhops at hotels, and they are always only men while there's no rule that you tip the housekeeping, and they are always female? I've always heard that at hotels, you're supposed to tip valets and bellhops and waiters and bartenders, of course. When I go to hotels, they are almost always male. I've never seen a female valet or bellhop (why is this btw?). But the housekeepers are always female immigrants and I've never heard of people tipping them. What are the wages of these groups? Do valets only work on tips and get no base hourly rate like the housekeeping staff? Do the high rollers who go to vegas give big tips to valets and bellhops but nothing to the housekeeping? Why aren't women either applying for or getting jobs that tip well?

Tipping a Super?

cm1088 — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:08:52 -0800

do I need to tip my super after every repair? Or just at the end of the year? the super my building is currently helping me repair my malfunctioning refrigerator and he's been doing a great job communicating the costs, time frame, etc. I'm about to reimburse him for parts and labor but as for tip, should I be tipping him after every job/repair? I plan on tipping him at the end of the year during the holiday but not sure if it was customary to tip after every repair as well.

Thanks!

Two professionals working together; who do I tip?

not that girl — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 11:39:03 -0800

Getting a photo shoot that is a package deal; photographer has let me know that I should be ready to pay her and the makeup/hairstylist separately. Do I tip the stylist? I am having a pin-up shoot done tomorrow; it's a package deal booked through the photographer and hair and makeup are included. The photographer has let me know that if I want to pay by check, I should be prepared to write separate checks to her and the stylist. Now I feel like it's a tipping dilemma. It has never occurred to me to tip a photographer for an in-studio session, and if it were set up so that I paid the whole fee to her, it probably wouldn't have occurred to me to add a tip. But I do normally tip a hairstylist, and since I now know that I'm paying the stylist directly, it seems in keeping with that practice to tip her. But in that case, it seems odd not to tip the photographer, especially since she'll be providing some minor pieces for my costume from her stock.

Thoughts?

Do you tip your dog walker?

Kriesa — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 08:51:09 -0800

I just hired a dog walker this week... and it just occurred to me today: am I supposed to be tipping? And if so, how? The weekly bill is $60; am I supposed to leave a couple of bucks a day, or could I leave $10 or $12 at the end of the week or something? Or is it more of a holiday bonus thing (in which case I feel kind of bad, because the holidays are a year away). Some days, the owner of the business will walk my dog. Is it like a salon where you're not supposed to tip the owner, just employees? Or am I totally over thinking this, and is dog walking not a tipping sort of service?

NYC bars/restaurants that don't pay their workers via tips?

suedehead — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 07:35:25 -0800

Are there any restaurants or bars in NYC that pay their workers with proper, decent wages, rather than with tips? I've always been against the pay-employees-lower-than-minimum-wage-and-let-them-earn-tips system that the US continues to support. After seeing this image via a post on Reddit, I started thinking pretty hard about trying my best to support a better system.

I'm currently traveling abroad in a place where tips rarely exist, whether in restaurants or bars or anywhere else. As a result, I can be (relatively) confident that the workers are being paid with regular, stable wages, rather than leaving the worker's wages up to the fickle attitudes and moods of each individual customer.[1] Not only is this unstable for the worker, it also creates a pretty class-based system where the customer feels like he/she is "rewarding" the worker for 'good service'. I live in New York, which is restaurant/bar central, and thus also want to support businesses that feel the same way.

I'm therefore looking for places that don't accept tips, or don't pay their workers with primarily tips.

Obviously places like a food cart or a to-go-coffee shop, where tips are optional rather than 'semi-mandatory' don't really count. I am looking for, say, a sit-down restaurant that always has a mandatory service charge, no matter the size of the group. But any place that has exceptionally good working/labor practices is welcomed also!

Thanks, AskMe!

1. Of course, the question of whether or not the workers' wages are high enough is another question entirely.

Super, you're super. Please take my money

TravellingCari — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:19:36 -0800

My Super is wonderful. I want to give her cash for (what I consider) to be going out of her way but she actively refuses it. Suggestions, especially as we're in the midst of holidays of various flavors. Thanks to MeFi help with location and packing tips, I moved in September. Love my building and my super live-in Super who really goes out of her way to take care of the building and residents. We stop to chat to her when coming or going and she does the same.

I almost never have packages delivered home because I work odd hours, but I've had to pick up a package once. I offered her a few $ and she wouldn't take it. Another time she came to snake a messy toilet for the second time in a week (and then subsequently fixed it so she wouldn't have to again). First snaking, I wasn't home. Second one, I was and again offered her $ but she adamantly refused. Due to time in and around the service industry, I know a polite refusal from an adamant one and this was definitely refusal to take. She even asked why I felt the need to give her something and I told her I'd felt she'd gone above and beyond. She said she didn't think so.

I figured this would be resolved via an envelope in the mailbox/with rent envelope under the door and I'd give her $$ that way, but no dice. Any suggestions or should I really just let this go? It's nice to be in a bldg where staff don't have their hand out - but she's so good I'd like to give her something.

If it matters: Manhattan. About 25 apartments in the building. Non doorman. She's super for a few bldgs on the block. I've never met the landlord.

Thanks

How much to tip building staff during the holidays?

cm1088 — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 08:01:39 -0800

How much to tip building staff? I rented a condo apartment in April. This is my first apartment with doormen so I didn't realize until recently that it was customary to tip the building staff. Being that its almost Christmas, I'm trying to figure out how much and soon. There are really only 2 doormen that I interact with (I believe the total to be around 6-8). Do I need to tip them all? Do I tip them different amounts? Should I provide one large sum for them to split up or tip them individually? And most importantly, how much should I be tipping?

Thanks!

Is it rude to tell a hotel porter I can carry my own luggage?

three_red_balloons — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 08:35:09 -0800

Do I have to let a hotel porter carry my luggage? I'm staying at a semi-fancy hotel tonight (purchased cheaply via Priceline), and I can easily carry my own tiny suitcase. I'm on a budget. Is it rude for me to say I can get my own bag? Will the porter (bellman? I don't even know the right terms here) come up with me anyway? How much am I expected to tip? Thanks!

Do monthly parkers tip valets?

slmorri — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 12:44:37 -0800

Do you tip a valet when you have a monthly parking space? In Chicago, if that matters. I'm pricing monthly parking options near my office in the Chicago Loop. Most garage spaces are 260-330 per month, but I've found a couple of valet garages that are 220 per month. That would be a money saver, but would my savings be eaten up by tips?

I've always tipped valets at garages when parking for just a few hours, but I wondered whether there is also an expectation that I would tip if I have a monthly space.

(Also, if you know of a cheaper parking option in the northwest corner of the Loop, I'm all ears.)

Can making a tiered tipping system ever be ethical?

_superconductor — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 03:57:26 -0800

Is it ethical for employers and managers to tier the tips of servers and bar staff as a means of creating an "incentive" programme? Hey Mefites!
So recently, the small café that I work at in the UK has implemented a new tipping policy that pools all tips at the end of the month and then tiers them, so that the newer employees get less while the employees who have been working there longer get more. The idea is that by placing the newer employees on a probationary period with tips, we are increasing their incentive to work harder.
However, this idea is problematic for this café because all of the "newer" employees have already been working there for 2 months or more, and all the employees with more experience are managers. This means the "newer" employees will be handling the majority of customer service without seeing any financial benefit from it.
As I'm not familiar with the service industry in the UK, is this something that is even remotely ethical for an employer to do? I have spoken to most of the employees and even the older ones seem to agree that this policy is ridiculous, especially when wages are already minimum.
We all really love working at this space and would hate to leave, so if this is in fact unethical, are there any measures I can take to make sure this doesn't happen? Is there anything I can say to the owner that might change his mind?

Thanks so much for your input!

To tip or not to tip

sadtomato — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 17:15:08 -0800

Do we tip our caterer and her staff? If yes, how much? We are having a small dinner gathering to celebrate our elopement back in March. There wil only be 19 people including me and Mr. Sadtomato. We paid about $3000+ for the meal. We are paying for booze separately. There will be a bartender, 2 dance instructors, the chef and one server.

So do we tip in this situation? How much is appropriate. I have found conflicting advice through Google.

Can I get a tip on tipping?

COD — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 19:25:20 -0800

We frequent a wine bar that features a self-service Enomatic machine. You load up a debit card and then serve yourself. My wife usually drinks wine and I normally order beers. A $50 bill may represent $40 charged up on the card, with only 2 beers actually brought out to me by a waiter. I've been tipping based on the value of what we actually consumed, so I'm doing the math on what my wife drank, even though it is all prepaid and self-serve. If I tip the full bill, the waiter that helps us the next time, when we may not need to add to the wine card, gets screwed. Waiters of Mefi, am I doing it right?

How to tip gracefully when there's no money exchange?

schmoo — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 10:10:38 -0800

What is the least awkward way of tipping someone when you're not actually paying for anything? I am from the UK, where the tipping culture is not nearly as established as in the US. That said, I always tip at a restaurant and sometimes at other times such as the hairdressers or when taking a taxi.

However, while I'm comfortable saying 'keep the change' to the taxi driver, or simply leaving a few pounds on the bill when leaving a restaurant, I can't work out the least awkward way of tipping when we go on holiday to an all-inclusive place next month.

Even though the resort says tips are included, I still intend on tipping (for drinks, food, maid etc) as I think these people work extremely hard for very little money. So how do classy people tip, when there's not actually any exchange of money going on?!

I literally need instructions here, as I find the whole business quite awkward and embarrassing. When there's no tray to put the tip on, like there would be with your bill in a restaurant, I don't know what to do with the money! I feel like just handing the barman money after he gives us our drinks is a little awkward. Similarly with the person who brings us our luggage. I guess with meals at the restaurants at the resort we can still leave the tip on the table at the end when we leave, so I suppose it's when getting drinks at the bar and beach and the luggage people I am most clueless about tipping. It's very likely I am overthinking this, as in the UK tipping at bars is just not done (although we do sometimes say 'have one for yourself' and buy the barman a drink), but still - help me not be awkward about this! Thanks.

Tipping Minefield.

yogalemon — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 21:31:33 -0800

I am employing a maid service. The company will charge me $120 for the cleaning service every two weeks. Am I expected to tip the maids who come - and how much? Do I tip them every week? And how do I tip them given that I will likely not be here when they come regularly?

Bonus points if you can also explain tipping at the hair salon - not just amounts and who to tip, but the logistics of how. Should I hand bills to each person or leave it at the desk at the end of the appointment? Please help me not be a jerk!

have i been an unwitting dick for years?

pazazygeek — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 20:36:37 -0800

I'm in the US. A few years ago, I was horrified to learn that almost everybody who stays in a hotel leaves a tip for the housekeeping staff on the pillow before they leave the hotel. I had no idea. Apologies if this has been covered on the green before, but my searches haven't produced anything yet. What are all of the service oriented positions that I am expected to tip? Are there others I might be missing? My general rule of thumb is that if the person is performing a service for me that I could perform myself, particularly if it is extra personal, I should tip them - I feel comfortable I can handle expected rates, but I just want to be sure I'm not leaving anybody out.

I know that another good rule is "when in doubt, tip" -- but sometimes, you can inadvertently offend someone! I also think that there could be a case where it might be expected and I'm not even realizing it -- or maybe I'm just paranoid after the hotel housekeeping debacle.

Off of the top of my head, I can think of:

Waitstaff
Manicurists/Pedicurists
Hairstylists (and at some salons, their assistants)
Waxers/Aestheticians
Massage Therapists (say, at a spa)
Cab Drivers/Hired Drivers
Food Delivery folks
Folks who gather takeout
Baristas/Coffee Servers
Housekeepers at a hotel
Bellhops at a hotel
Movers
Skycaps (do they even have those anymore?)

Things I am fuzzy on:

Full service gas station attendants?
Massage therapists outside of a spa?
Tailors?
Dry Cleaners?
Shoe repairers?
Tow truck drivers?

I am ready to be horrified that there are people I should be tipping that I never do. Please set me straight.

Laser Hair Removal Tipping Etiquette

en el aire — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 08:13:10 -0800

I recently purchased a living social coupon for 3 sessions of laser hair removal but am unsure of tipping etiquette for the procedure? Is it customary to tip for laser hair removal – and if so, how much? The message boards I’ve come across offer nothing but conflicting advice. If it matters, it appears to be a small office that specializes in laser hair removal and little else. Finally, this is in Westchester County, NY (right outside of NYC) so regional specific advice would be great!

Help me not embarrass myself at my first time going on a date at a fine dining establishment

crawltopslow — Thu, 31 May 2012 19:28:49 -0800

Help me not embarrass myself at my first time going on a date at a fine dining establishment I am in my late twenties, I have a reservation for me and my date (our 3rd date) to go to G Michael's Bistro(menu link) this Saturday. here is the yelp review.

In general what kinds of things can I avoid doing so I won't look like a noob?
What kinds of things can I do to look like an expert fine dining patron?

I am actually looking for expert tips, like will there be a "concierge", and if so can I tip him ($20?) and get the best seat in the house/extra good treatment?

It seems that most people pay about 50 dollars a person for the meal?
I have no problem paying full price, but if easily feasible discounts are fine, Is there anyway fine dining patron experts get discounts that doesn't make them look cheap?

Which wine should I get so I don't look like a noob? For a party of 2 is a bottle too much? (I'm driving after)

We both don't eat meat, but we eat sea food. Any specific menu items you'd recommend?

How much should I really tip?
Wouldn't the servers appreciate it if I tip in cash?
How much of the food is actually going to be GFS/Ross foods?
Should I box up the inevitable leftovers at the end?
Should I ask to speak with the chef to compliment him if the food is good?
Out of curiosity, How much of the ingredients will probably be of GFS/Ross foods quality?

What other tips or advice do you have? anything is appreciated, it's my first time! :)

Tipping and Take-Out

J. Wilson — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 07:34:28 -0800

Should I tip when I get take-out (and if so, how much)? How does the process work at the restaurant? I've read this question, where lots of people say "I do/don't tip because I do/don't believe in it in this situation." I'd love to know whether people tip and why when picking up food at a restaurant (and there are likely new users or people's opinions could have changed since 2006 when that question was asked), but I'd especially like to know who does the work and where the money goes.

Let's say I call up my neighborhood Thai restaurant, where people often dine in. Who answers the phone and takes my order? Who packages my order for take-out? Do the people doing the work have time for it? Who gets paid if I leave a tip on the credit card receipt?

Bonus question: is a tip something that the restaurant workers usually expect or that customers leave? I live in a city in the United States, if it makes a difference.

What should I tip on a large food delivery order?

macrowave — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 22:53:57 -0800

How much are you supposed to tip on giant food delivery order? If I order $1200 worth of food for my upcoming wedding reception (off of a restaurant's catering menu), am I expected to tip the delivery driver $180-$240? I realize that 15-20% is standard, and as a former service industry worker, I make sure to always tip well. But $240 seems extra steep for 20 minutes worth of work (give or take), and we're on a super tight budget to the extent that this is the sort of detail that's going to make or break us. There's no service fee that I'm aware of, although I'm not 100% clear on that. Also, we're not using their staff for catering in any way, rather they're just dropping off hot aluminum pans full of food.

What have you guys done in this sort of situation?

Rewarding your dog...trainer

nakedmolerats — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 17:08:24 -0800

Should we tip our dog-training instructor? How do we do it non-awkwardly? Our dog has done beginners' and is now in intermediate training at Big Box Pet Store, with the same trainer. Dog and trainer like each other a lot. Dog recently had some issues with another dog in the class (acting defensive/aggressive), and was generally grouchy and snappy during class, which was very unlike her. The trainer had us come, outside of class time, so our dog could socialize with his dog that he brings to work with him. We are planning on returning later this week sometime to continue. This is during the trainer's regular work hours - we are not paying for a private session. He spent at least half an hour with us.

He has not mentioned getting paid for going, obviously, above and beyond just doing the training class. I think he just really likes our dog and his job. I feel like it would be appropriate to tip him or offer some appreciative gesture, but how do we bring it up non-awkwardly? I am very Midwestern so I feel like offering money when none has been explicitly expected can be weird, like you are assuming the other person is just in it for the money than because they care. Or at least, I have felt awkward in the past when I did something as a favor for a friend/acquaintance and they wanted to pay me for it.

Is it appropriate to tip him/ how much? How do we bring it up? Would it be better/more appreciated to write a letter to the store manager letting them know that this employee is extra awesome? Are there other alternatives?

This could be so win-win if you only knew!

ericc — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:50:08 -0800

tl;dr: I’m an easy restaurant patron who tips well. How can I benefit from that fact at the beginning of my meal? (Preface, I totally get that this is a first-world problem. It’s not really a problem as much as a tiny annoyance, but the expertise of others here might alleviate that tiny annoyance.)

I enjoy eating out, and do it a fair amount, both alone and with others. I enjoy good service, and I’m willing to pay for it. And even when I get bad service, I’m still happy to pay for it. (I mean, other people are making my dinner and bringing it to me? How awesome is that!) The smallest I’ll tip is 20 percent, but on a $15 or $20 bill (if I’m eating alone in a not-too-fancy place), I’m happy to leave up to 50 percent. My thought is that it’s just a few bucks on a bill that small, so the additional cost should be trivial. If it’s not, I shouldn’t be eating out. It’s trivial to me, so I’m happy to do it, especially if it’s not trivial to the server.

The problem (as much as this could actually be considered a “problem”) is that while I know that there will be a good tip, the server doesn’t, and the restaurant doesn’t. This matters because there are a few extras that I really appreciate when I get them, and the server/restaurant might want to indulge me if they knew I was a good customer.

For example, I often have reading material that I bring with me. If there’s any way to not sit next to the group of ten loud teenagers, that would great. A booth in the corner next to the light, wonderful. I don’t expect to be seated in a closed section, but something out of the way would be appreciated. As another example, I’m also vegan, so if I can’t tell from the menu what’s vegan, or what can be made vegan, I’ll ask the server. If he or she knows, or is willing to check, wonderful! If it’s a hassle because you haven’t asked the kitchen before, or it’s going to take an extra trip, that’s okay—I’m a good customer.

The problem is that that’s not clear until the entire transaction is done and the bill and tip are paid. It is not at all uncommon that only after the bill and tip have been picked up by the server, and I’m finishing up my reading, when water glasses are immediately and continuously refilled, an extra drink or sweets come out, or just demeanor changes. So how can I benefit from that at the start of the meal?

There are a few places that I frequent enough when they know that I’m a good customer, so that helps. But I also enjoy going to a wide variety of places, so becoming a “regular” at more than a few places is impractical.

So my real question: For those in the service industry, are there clues or cues that you see that indicate a good customer? This is for servers, but also to hosts, as they’re the ones who pick where I’ll sit. When I ask, “Is there quiet booth in back?”, is that annoying? Is there a better way to ask?

Any advice would be welcome.

I'm broke and need to tip building staff! Any ideas?

Anonymous — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 14:14:06 -0800

I have very little money to give to the staff of my condo building. What should I give them this Christmas? Caveats below. Money is very tight this Christmas since both my dog and I are having surgery. This is in addition to many other unexpected expenses the last few months. I am spending next to nothing on my friends and family. I love buying gifts for people, but forced myself to cut back drastically this year.

I moved into my new condo 2 months ago and don't know what to do in regard to tipping the building staff this Christmas. There are several doorman and two janitors. What is the least amount of money I can give them without looking ridiculous? Normally, I would give $20 each, but I can't stomach the expense since I've spent far less on gifts for people I actually love this year.

What can I give them that will be enough so they are still friendly towards me? Did you ever not give gifts to your building's staff? How did they treat you afterwards?

Lastly, if I give cash, I can only give a pittance - maybe $5 each. I would rather give them something else so I don't come off so miserly. I want to avoid candy as I've been hit on in the past by men who construe a holiday gift as a come on. The last time, I gave candy to a valet and he backed me into the corner of the deserted parking lot, which scared me to the point of never parking there again, but I felt sorry for him, so I didn't complain. (One of the janitors in my new building already complimented me on my smile, but not in such a way that I could complain and I want to make sure he doesn't continue to hit on me.)

Money for the gun show

Unred — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 06:09:49 -0800

How much do you tip a personal trainer you see once a week. I'd like to give cash, but it feels tacky since we now know each other so well.

How much should we tip a driver in Mexico?

jayder — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:16:38 -0800

How much to tip a driver in Mexico? Two of us are getting a transfer from the Cancun airport to a resort about an hour away. The fare, round trip, for both of us, is $140 ($70 each way). How much should I tip, for each segment (airport to resort and resort to airport)? It may be a van with other people, but it seems likely that it's just going to be the two of us passengers.

Gratuity is definitely not included and we will be paying the fare in cash to the driver.

Thanks for your advice.