Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with tipping

I fail at math.

Morrigan — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 18:07:57 -0800

After a long day at work, I picked up the check at my favorite restaurant. Checking my receipts today, I realize that I messed up the math and inadvertently left an embarrassingly paltry tip. It was in no way a reflection on the service. What now? Go in and talk to the host? Make it up on a future visit?

How to tip movers in an above-and-beyond situation?

quixxotic — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:05:17 -0800

Unique situation with cross-country move (at least, I think it's unique). Help me figure out what I should tip 'em. I'm getting a large moving company to ship my stuff across the country while I drive separately. After a conversation with the management of the apartment building I'm moving into, I found that there's no way to plop a semi outside the building (and certainly not in the parking deck). They suggest having the movers' semi park at a lot around a half-mile away, and having a pickup truck as the liaison between the lot and the parking deck.

A.) Is this too much above and beyond? Will the movers help get it to my place like this, or is that too much to ask? Not sure if they'll just help me load the pickup and then wait as I and a friend or two make a run to the apartment, or help me the whole nine yards. They're not putting my stuff together once it's there or anything, just helping me unload, after which I'll unpack/put things together myself.

B.) In the event that they help, I'd assume it's a bit above-and-beyond, so I'd like to tip them generously. What would be appropriate?

Background: it's a very small move, equivalent in their book to a one-bedroom apartment. It's essentially a bedroom suite plus the random boxes of my stuff...no living room/dining room/whatever furniture other than the bed, dresser, and nightstand. I'm packing it all myself, and can't stand to watch them do all the work, so I help load/unload (I've moved like this before, BTW). When I moved before, it was into and out of a house at ground level that they could essentially pull right up to, so I'm not sure what to expect. FWIW, I'm a generous tipper, having been there, done that in tipped positions.

I'd like to just make it worth their while if they help me out. Thanks!

How much to tip?

foxinthesnow — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:03:06 -0800

Do you tip when you get a carry-out meal? So, when you call a nice restaurant for a carry-out -- one at which, if you sat down at ate your meal, you would tip the server -- do you tip the person who rings you up and gives you your meal? Likewise, do you tip at a counter service restaurant? By counter service, I don't mean fast food like MacDonald's, but something more along the lines of Panera or Cosi?

You see, these restaurants have the tip amount line on the credit card receipt, and I am not sure if I should be writing in a tip? If so, is it the standard 15 -20%?

Tipping etiquette by the event planner at a catered event

sarahnade — Tue, 13 May 2008 09:07:59 -0800

Who and how much should I tip at a catered dinner event that I planned? I'm planning a dinner event for two collaborating groups. It's at a local restaurant in a separate party room, and each guest gets to choose their entree selection from a choice of 3 (seafood, chicken, vegetarian). It doesn't look like the preliminary invoice I was sent includes any tip, although it does include a 19.25% service charge, along with charges for facility rental, food, drink, and set-up of the event. There will be a bar with free wine. We're also going to give a presentation.

Who should I tip, if anyone, and how much? Should I tip each individual as I see fit, or should I try to include it in the total cost of the event? I assume there will be bartenders, servers, and at least one host, who may or may not be the catering manager. The Catering Manager, by the way, has been extremely patient with me as I have never planned an event before in my life. There might also be someone to help us set up for the presentation.

If you have any personal experience (from either side of an event like this), I would love to hear it.

Tattoo Studio Etiquette

Argyle — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:58:19 -0800

Tattoo Studio Etiquette - I'm getting a tattoo, not my first tattoo, but my first artistic one. I understand that you tip the artist, but I'm not sure how much. The estimate is ~$200 for the work, is 20% tip right? Too much? Too little? Thanks in advance for your insight.

Travelfilter: When to tip, who to tip and how much to tip?

stackhaus23 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 04:37:46 -0800

Ok, so I'm traveling to the States from the UK for the first time and I realise that you guys tip pretty much everyone. So I need to know when to tip, who to tip and how much to tip? If someone takes you in a taxi you tip them, if they get you a drink you tip them, if they carry your bags you tip them etc...

But - who else, and how much am I supposed to tip them... and when? If I go to a bar and order a drink do I slip the bartender a sly dollar bill or just give it to them when I pay and tell them to keep the change? If I'm at a cafe do I tip the server or do I put it in the jar on the counter? I'm just trying to avoid awkward situations and prevent myself from looking like too much of a noob!

Thanks for any advice...

tipping etiquette

HarryS — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 11:02:28 -0800

When two or more parties split the check at a restaurant, is there some kind of etiquette about matching the tips? (USA) When splitting a bill at a restaurant, is there some kind of etiquette about matching tips?

(I'm from New York City area, by the way. I understand that customs differ from country to country.)

When splitting a check down the middle, some of my friends seem to think it’s important that we tip the same way. I have always found this puzzling. Sometimes they want to confer with me. These are typically people who are reasonably well off. It comes up infrequently, but I know a few people who are convinced that it is appropriate for the tips to match.

I’ve never wanted to get into a discussion about how much to tip. Typically I’m more generous, so if someone indicates that he wants to leave a $20 tip (for example), I’ll verbally agree and then leave $30 if that seems more appropriate to me. This strikes me as personal, I don’t see the need for us to tip the same way.

However, this came up again at dinner last night, and I’m just wondering how common it is, and what the mind set is behind the conviction that we should be on the same page about tipping when we split the bill. Any thoughts?

Hotel Tipping

miles1972 — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 19:58:49 -0800

How much do I tip the housecleaning at this hotel? I've been here for a couple months. I've only let them in once a week to change the sheets and towels, vacuum, etc. It's an ok, but definitely not fancy, downtown suite hotel. Basically it's a very small one bedroom apartment.

The company that brought me here is paying for it and I'm not taking home a lot of money

I leave next week. What is appropriate to leave for a tip? And will they distribute to all the different women who might have done the job?

Should I be tipping my dealer?

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:44:42 -0800

For traveling drug dealers (specifically door-to-door marijuana delivery services in NYC), what is the etiquette for tipping? Yes? No? If yes, is there a standard accepted rate?

Appropriate holiday tips for building staff.

Anonymous — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 07:33:04 -0800

New Yorkers, please advise me on appropriate holiday tip amounts for building staff. I am preparing to give out end-of-year tips for the people who work in my apartment building, and I would love to hear how others determine end-of-year cash amounts for their NYC building staff.

I own an apartment in a ~40-unit Manhattan building. There is always a doorman at the lobby desk, but otherwise the building is not at all what one would consider a luxury, full-service building. There is also a non-live-in super. I live alone and don't really require any personal extra effort from the building employees, although I feel sure that if I ever needed anything they would go out of their way to help me. Every member of the staff is friendly and first-rate, so I'd like to err on the generous side of the tip scale. I need to tip my super and each person on the roster of six doormen, who work anywhere from one to six shifts a week.

I've googled and found several articles about what to tip but they didn't seem to be particularly applicable, so I'd love to hear about your personal decision-making processes. How much do you tip your building employees? What is a good way to determine appropriate amounts?

tipping at an open bar

Elsa — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 10:43:38 -0800

How much to tip at an open bar? A quick search turns up lots of advice, but it sounds stingy to me, and I'd like feedback from more discriminating bargoers. The Google concensus seems to be $1 for each drink from an open bar (in the U.S.). That sounds low, but I don't know what a proper tip would be: X dollars a round? X dollars a drink? the full price I would expect the drinks to cost?

Does your open-bar tip vary based on location? If it's a wedding reception in a catering hall or club, do you tip less (or more?) than at a private party in a restaurant or bar?

The Movers Say the Muffins Aren't Enough.

oflinkey — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 19:09:42 -0800

Help me sort out tipping packers/movers: The move is 65 miles (so not interstate, etc.), but because of scheduling, I have packers (3) coming on day one (about 1/2 of my stuff is already packed), movers (3) to load on day two, and movers (3) to unload on day three. Is this $20 a person no matter what? I plan on drinks and food, too.

how much do you tip? am i a good tipper?

b_thinky — Sun, 13 May 2007 11:42:54 -0800

Am I a good tipper? I usually tip a standard 20% to my waiter, unless the service warrants more or less. The 20% guideline is one that's pretty universally recognized and easy to follow. But how about these other situations?

How much do you tip a valet parker? The service is free in Vegas, and everyone tips. Valet parkers make decent money here given the nature of their work. I tip about $2 or $3. I think this is close to avg from what I've seen, but there's no guidelines I've ever heard of.

How much do you tip at at a buffet? When the server doesn't do anything really but seat you and get you your drink order (non-alcoholic), how much do you tip? I usually just leave a couple ones on the table. They didn't really do anything.

How much do you tip a barber The place I go to charges $16 for a haircut. I usually give the dude a $20 and tell him to keep it.

How much do you tip room service I've noticed when I stay in a nice hotel the room service menu says a 20% gratuity will be added to the bill. That's a lot! I think this amount should excuse me from tipping the room service dude but I feel like a jackass if I don't cough up more. What's the right thing to do in this situation?

How much do you tip at a carwash? If the dude just towel-dries after I go through the wash, I hand him a couple bucks. If it's a nice detailing I probably do $5 or $10 depending on what kind of cash I have on me.

Also, I have a friend who's a bartender at a local bar here in Vegas, the kind where people sit for hours and play video poker. He seems to feel bartenders are entitled to a 10% tip on jackpots, and I feel this is bullshit. I don't gamble at all, but if I were playing I'd tip a flat $5 at most, no matter how much I win. Unless this dude is covering 10% of my losses, why is he entitled to 10% of my winnings?

Should she tip the salon owner?

altcountryman — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 19:19:19 -0800

My wife has been going to the same hairstylist for 6 years. She loves his work and tips him well. Now, he's opened his own salon. Should she still tip? The old rule is that you don't tip the owner, but this feels weird if the owner's the guy you've been tipping for the last 6 years.

Tip for NYT Delivery Guy?

tboot — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 23:10:54 -0800

What am I supposed to tip the New York Times delivery guy? I only get the Sunday edition.

How do you tip a friend?

Not in my backyard — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 14:38:04 -0800

Holiday tipping: I want to tip my personal trainer...but there are complications. Here's the long and short of it. My personal trainer and I have become very close friends. We developed our friendship out of our training appointments. I continue to train with her weekly, but we hang out socially all the time - I have met her family, been to her daughter's birthday parties, been to her house and she's been to mine a number of times, and so on.

I know that, as my personal trainer, I give her a holiday gratuity. Last year, as this friendship was developing but before it'd gotten to the point we are at now, I gave her about $150 worth of her favorite bath supplies from L'Occitane.

This year, I am confused about what to do. She's one of my best friends, so the issue is not getting her a gift. Should I combine the "friend" gift and "personal trainer" gift into one big gift, or should I give her separate gifts? I feel so awkward about this, it's driving me nuts!

Cash Cab Tipper?

gregoryc — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 17:12:04 -0800

Do (can?) people tip Ben Bailey, the driver of the Cash Cab? Looking for answers from people who have been on the show (or some other authoritative source), not just personal opinions. Thanks.

pushing 40, time to get girlie

scratch — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 12:44:35 -0800

For an eyebrow wax in a small, non-fancy neighborhood nails-and-waxing-only place ($10 tops), do I tip the waxer? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, and either way I end up feeling awkward about it. What do you do? I know that plenty of you will say "tip if you think they do a good job," but really I'm asking about what Mostpeople do. (Perhaps you've met Mostpeople; they're distant relations to They.)

Should I tip extra for room service?

aberrant — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 07:25:15 -0800

Tipping Etiquette: hotel room service. Assume room service dinner with a $2.50 delivery charge and an 18% gratuity automatically added to the bill. Should I be tipping IN ADDITION to these charges? If so, how much? If not, why's there a blank line for gratuity above my signature?

Who's the captain?

kaseijin — Sat, 19 Aug 2006 22:34:45 -0800

Are you supposed to tip movers? You know... like movers...the guys that come in the truck and charge an exorbitant fee to take your random detritus from point A to point B -- do you tip them? Having never hired movers, I am totally in the dark on this point of etiquette.

I don't get it

joaniemcchicken — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 16:46:09 -0800

I was recently in London, and was really happy to be paying only 12% in tips. And then I began to wonder... Why do tipping rates keep rising? My customary is 20% here in the states. And that's because I used to be a waitress. But, then I thought, why do we need to tip more than 10%? Why has it risen? The price of food has risen according to all other goods and services and the rate of inflation. I mean, a good meal for 6 bucks at a sit down restaurant in 1970 is virtually non-existent. Even some fast food restaurants are hard to get out of for less than $6 a person. So, shouldn't it always be 10%? The increase in the income from a tip comes from the increase in the price of the meal. The more I thought about this, the angrier I got, because when does it stop? Will we be paying 30%, 40%, 50% in tips? This seems ridiculous and greedy to me. I mean, I've had an agent for 15 years and he still only takes 10%. My income has risen, and so, his 10% nets him more income as well. It seems like we have just accepted this continual rise in the percentage a tip should be and I'm wondering why? Am I missing something here?

Is that our waitress?

reeddavid — Sat, 13 May 2006 17:31:18 -0800

Our waitress took the late, over-cooked burger off the check. Should we have tipped on the pre- or post-adjustment amount? My friend ordered a burger cooked medium, but it arrived rare. The waitress took it back to the kitchen while the rest of our group began eating. My friend twice asked the waitress about the tardy burger. The first time the waitress said a new burger was on the grill, and the second time her smile instantly changed to an "oh shit!" look and she practically sprinted towards the kitchen. She came back with an over-cooked burger, which she took off the check.

My friends were adamant in their opinion that the tip should reflect the reduced total: She took it off the check because she made a mistake, so the lower tip is appropriate.

I thought the tip should be based on the total before the burger was removed: Since the burger wasn't right, she made it free, and that deserves a tip.

Which approach is more appropriate?

Tipping and ex post facto restitution

j.s.f. — Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:40:44 -0800

I didn't think that I had to tip; now I think I should have. Any way to make this right? Here's the sitch, as the kids say nowadays: it was a gorgeous Sunday morning and I went down to a very, very small cafe in my neighborhood. There were no seats available, so I sat down on a bench nearby--not seating for the cafe, just street furniture. I sat for a few minutes reading my paper, then went inside to order. My food was brought out. After eating I brought my dish inside on my own, then paid at the counter. I didn't tip a dime.

I suppose I thought that since it felt like I was in some sort of take-out situation (and since the guy who I paid was the owner), I didn't have to tip. Thirty seconds after leaving I realized that I probably ought to have. Did I screw up, and if so, is there any way to put things in order?

And by the way, this is a matter of a few dollars: I paid thirteen and think now that I should have paid fifteen or sixteen. It's more an etiquette question than a concern for cheating someone out of his pay.

Is it even possible to influence tipping behavior?

sequential — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 21:51:18 -0800

How, if at all possible, does one increase the amount of tips received as a salon assistant? My fiancee is a general assistant at an upscale salon. She receives tips from stylists, though that's irregular and not required, and clients. She's a talented cosmetologist, but she's new to the salon atmosphere. She's looking for resources on what influences a client and stylist to tip her. Some days she makes literally $0 in tips. Other days she makes close to $50 in tips. Part of this is obviously a function of how busy the salon is, but she'd like to make closer to $50 as often as possible.

Salon clients: how do you decide to tip the person washing your hair, blowing you out, or performing any number of services that your stylist isn't?

Stylists: what influences your decision to tip an assistant? Presume she is motivated, always says yes to your requests, does not take a minutes break during the work day, and clearly goes out of her way to make your job easier.

If there's any useful information about how to encourage better tips in general, it would be appreciated. If you have good evidence, either anectodal or otherwise, that tipping behavior is not influenced by quality of service, that would be just as interesting to hear.

Wedding tipping etiquette

mookieproof — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 08:33:52 -0800

Tipping at one's wedding--to whom, how much, and based on what? We're getting married quite soon. Our photographer is charging rather a lot of money and he owns his own business--my understanding (based on reading at Indiebride and the Knot) is that a tip is not necessary. The reception location has an exclusive caterer who has not included a gratuity or service charge in the contract, but is charging a not-inconsequential amount for "staffing" based on the number of guests and the number of hours. The contract also charges per-guest rates on chairs and booze, and requires that if we do tip, it should be delivered to the head caterer.

So what to tip? (I assume we will be happy with the service.) The caterers/servers are presumably making more than a restaurant wage, yes? It doesn't seem like we should tip on the amount meted out for "chairs." Should we tip a restaurant rate (i.e. ~18%) on the food bill? A flat fee? What would James Surowiecki say? Thanks for your help!

For what it's worth, this is taking place in a fairly expensive eastern USA city.