The other night I asked my husband if he is happy and, after about 30 minutes of thoughtful consideration, he said he feels the concept of a long happy marriage is overrated and that he "isn't not happy." He is satisfied. [more inside]
My spouse has long resisted going to couples’ mediation, despite on-going problems in our marriage. After a particularly bad fight a few days ago, my spouse reluctantly agreed to attend two sessions. I’m responsible for selecting the mediator. What’s the best way to extract the most benefit from just two sessions? [more inside]
My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
My wife and I are having a lot of problems in our marriage, have been for quite some time. Infidelity on both sides. Unresolved childhood trauma. Lack of trust and honesty from both parties. We have a wonderful life and two amazing children and are best friends, have been since high school. We're both starting therapy (separately) and then maybe marriage counseling. And I suppose this is one of those things that I can expect or hope to work out in therapy? But right now, how do I know if I should stay in my marriage? What signs did you have that your marriage was over or was salvageable?
My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
Have you been in a marriage or LTR where you were on the brink of breaking up but then you didn't? If so, how did that work? [more inside]
How do I get a handle on what I've uncovered in therapy outside the therapist's office whilst my therapist is unavailable for a few weeks? [more inside]
My friend, Ann, is a married woman with two young children. Her husband has severe, chronic depression but refuses to get help. She has had an affair. She is not sure how to leave him, as she has no career or money of her own. More than that, I just don't think she's able to comprehend ever leaving him. How do I help her? [more inside]
I'm getting over an agonizing marriage and feeling lost. I need to do something therapeutic involving travel and/or therapy for a month or so. Can anyone with experience recommend an ideal place or plan? [more inside]
TL; DR: I think my marriage is at an end, and I need some coping strategies. May be the victim of visa fraud. No money for an attorney or another place to live. Help? Suck it up? [more inside]
Seeing a lawyer today for divorce information. How do I cope if there is no option but divorce? [more inside]
My 60 year old mom, married 40 years to a husband with NPD, is drinking and crying in the evenings, angrily lashing out, taking sleeping pills in order to sleep at night, and anguishing over whether she can leave her marriage. How can I help her? [more inside]
My brother has his head up his butt and I want to help him remove it. As his sibling and one of his only friends, I wish to provide him the best advice possible. So my questions are these: 1) What is a constructive thing to say to a sibling who wants a divorce for all the wrong reasons, 2) How do you get someone into counseling when they don't believe in it? and 3) How does one go about finding a very specific kind of counselor? He'd be best served and less apt to argue with a strong, smart father-figure. [more inside]
DivorceFilter: I've revealed some past infidelity (going on for at least five years with a number of men) to my husband and, being an engineer, he's googling the situation to try and find people that have gone through the same thing and kept their marriage together. He's looking for statistics/probability of marriage survival. He's only found people that have split up and are now bitching about their exs on boards. We're in couples therapy, I'm in individual therapy, he's getting some treatment but both of us have this "is it best to cut our losses?" feeling. There is a small child, a cute dog and an expensive house in the mix, besides a marriage now in its tenth year. Anyone have any ray of hope? Or, if not, advice on being friends and keeping this from damaging the elementary school-aged child?