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If you were a circus director spending lots of time and effort on a n00b, what would you appreciate?

divabat — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 06:59:47 -0800

What can I get as a thank-you gift for my circus directors? I'm a week and a bit away from my first ever festival performance, as part of a project by a women's circus I'm a part of here. The project involves about 5-6 of us producing and performing personal pieces with the assistance of two experienced circus/theatre directors. I got picked as a bit of a wildcard - I had the least experience out of everybody (less than a year and at very basic levels) but they liked my proposal and thought I had an interesting story. We've been working hard, twice a week at least since August, and for me I've learnt so much about performance skills, about developing personal strengths, about why I'm interested in the issues that informed this piece. It has been an amazing experience.

I would like to get my two directors something as a token of appreciation. I didn't know them before this project, though I do interact with one of them on another street theatre project we're doing. One (P) is the Artistic Director of this circus; the other (C) used to work with this circus but has now moved to another youth arts organisation but decided to come over and help us out. P's the one I primarily work with but I've received lot of help and feedback from C too.

P is a relative newcomer to our circus - she was hired as our Artistic Director in August and this is her first big project. She has about 6+ years of experience with community circuses and mainly does street theatre. She's got pink hair and goes everywhere with a small pink Mother Mary bag but I don't think she's particularly girly otherwise. She can be serious and stern sometimes but she's also quite loving and open and encouraging and friendly. We tend to bump into each other a lot and we have an injoke about "tying me up" - my piece involves escaping from rope, which she helps tie me up in, and we've been to a fetish party hosted by her housemates (also my friends) where I recently got my first flogging!

C is also quite outgoing though I think she tends to come up with crazier ideas more readily than P (P does too, but it seems like more of a shock coming from her than from C because P often seems more serious!) She doesn't tend to be as colourful as P in style and is often harried with multiple jobs and responsibilities. I don't know too much about her but I do know she can be quite silly!

Both have circus experience (I don't know C's speciality) and also are involved with queer art and culture in some way, though I can't say for certain what they define themselves sexuality-wise. C's told me that people tend to perceive her as a "lesbian artist" and P got her start in circus from an event at a lesbian event, but as a pansexual girl who sometimes goes to lesbian events I can't say that they're definitive answers, just that it shows something that they care about. From their conversations I gather they're in tune with alternative spirituality and healing, though neither of them are particularly "hippie" like.

I feel more attached to P because I feel like she's been a "mother" figure to me, helping me get out of my shell and create better performance. I would also like to thank C for her hard work with me. Asides from this project they don't work in the same office so I don't want to get them something they'll have to share. P came up to work for our circus partly because she lost all her stuff - including a lot of performance gear - so I'd like to get her something that she might have missed.

What can I get them? Should I go for form over function? Should I get them the same thing but in different colours or styles? I was going to give baked goods at first but I have no idea what their dietary habits are. I don't want something useless but I don't want something boring either! Something personable would be great, though I don't have tons of money and time.

If you were a circus director spending lots of time and effort on a n00b, what would you appreciate?

Somehow, I don't think a Post-It note on the fridge will do...

gursky — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 15:17:58 -0800

What can I do to thank my parents for their unbelievable support? My parents are awesome. They're both very kind, generous, helpful, loving people. Growing up, my two older brothers and I had a good home environment, and even now that we're adults (I am 22 and my brothers are 28 and 24) my parents are still as helpful and supportive as ever.

Over the past year, I had a really tough time dealing with some mental health issues. I was in and out of the hospital and seriously considered dropping out of university (even though I was in the final year of a 5 year program). In short, the past year has been hellish. Fortunately for me, my parents insisted on helping out however they could. They made it possible for me to see my psychiatrist weekly, frequently offered to do any errands I might need to do, and listened to my endless venting about, well, everything.

Since graduating in June, I have had to move in with them while I get my health in order. Though I am often not at their house (typically I am in other cities visiting friends), they have made it clear that there is no time limit on how long I can stay with them. As well, because I am not working and I am trying to stretch money as far as possible, they have been more than generous with groceries and other necessities. They never complain and offer to lend me money constantly because they would rather I concentrate on getting better than on getting a job before I'm ready. I am very conscious of this, and make sure not to take advantage of them.

I have finally found a doctor that I trust and like, and I think I might finally be on the road to a healthier, happier me. Though it's taking some time, I feel like things are moving in the right direction for the first time in years. In June, I felt as though my life had been derailed; now, I feel as though I am getting back to my old self and I am starting to feel a little better. There is still a lot to do, but at least I'm on track.

So, my question (finally) is this: how do I show gratitude to my parents? Without their support, I could not have taken time off work to find a doctor and get my shit together. If I had started working right after graduation, I don't know that I would be of sound mind today. How do I show them how much their support meant to me?

Note: though I would love to make a grand gesture (i.e. send them on a trip or give them tickets to an event) I am not in a financial position that will allow for it.

Any ideas on gestures or ways I could show my gratitude?

Dealing with thesis examiners.

futureisunwritten — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 08:21:32 -0800

Should I thank my thesis readers? If so, how? About two weeks ago, I got a call from my department telling me that my MA thesis has passed. My supervisor and I have already been through all the examiners' comments and discussed them in depth. All I have to do is incorporate these small corrections into my thesis and hand it back in. The thesis does not have to be reexamined, nor do I have to defend.

Both examiners submitted tons of comments and constructive criticisms, including general statements about the work as a whole and all the tiny nitpicky things you'd expect. Both of my readers did a very thorough reading and I am pretty darn pleased with the feedback I have received. The final product will benefit greatly from their input. FWIW, I didn't get to find out who the readers were until the thesis had been examined.

I would like to thank them individually. The external reader is a professor at another university whom I have never met. The internal is a professor in our department. She and I have a really good rapport, even though she has never taught me a course.

I would like to send them each a card - short and sweet. Is it appropriate for me to do this while I'm still incorporating their comments into the final version or should I wait until the entire process is finished?

Furthermore, would it be cool to contact my internal and ask her to meet up with me and clarify a few of her points?

Gift for a woman I barely know?

Phire — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 07:48:31 -0800

I need help coming up with a gift idea for a 40-50 year old woman that I don't know very well at all. My dad and I will be visiting Chicago for a few days in the near future, and we'll be staying with a friend of his. They were pretty close about ten years ago when both our families lived in the same city, but now we live about a thousand miles apart and they very rarely see each other.

Last time he stayed with this family a few years ago he brought a gift that was more oriented towards the dad, whom he knows better. This time he'd like to bring a gift that the hostess can really appreciate. I've been tasked with finding such a gift.

The only things I know about her is that she's not religious, that she has a daughter who is around 21-year-old, and that she works as a technician at a Big Pharma company. What can we bring in the price range of $60-80 CAD that would be appropriate as a thank-you gift? We're in Ottawa, but bringing the usual maple syrup and whatnot would feel kind of tacky.

Where to buy electronic gift card?

zooropa — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 08:00:19 -0800

Thank you filter: What are some good ways you can easily send a gift card to a co-worker? I just started a new job a few weeks ago and several folks have really gone out of their way to help me with some "quick" questions. I'd like to give them a little gift card as a way of saying thanks. Nothing extravagant. Just something simple -- $10 for iTunes, $10 for Amazon, etc.

Is there a way to do this electronically without having to go out and buy cards at a store? We're a Web-based business, so it'd be nice to do something where all they have to do is click a link for an electronic gift certificate. And if so, are there other workplace-friendly ideas besides the obvious (Amazon and iTunes).

And yes, I do write thank you notes. I'm a big believer in a simple handwritten note and write them often. But this is slightly different.

Thank-you gift for my cousin?

obliquicity — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 10:47:49 -0800

I need help coming up with a good thank-you gift for my (female, early 30s) cousin at the end of a 3-week visit. I've been staying with my cousin in London for about 3 weeks, and would like to get her something meaningful to say thank you. But to get to the point: I don't know her very well (I grew up in the US, she in the UK); despite being exactly the same age we are entirely dissimilar in personality/likes/interests; she is currently on a diet so food is out (including taking her out for a meal); she doesn't drink, so alcohol is out; and she's already got every household tchotchke thing (candles, bath/beauty products, picture frames, etc.) I can think of. Oh, and she works in the entertainment industry so things like "here are tickets to X" are entirely redundant. What's more, she works fairly long hours and spends each weekend out of town in order to take care of a relative, so her schedule can be tricky.

So based on what I know, she likes: relaxing with tv/movies; spa weekends; her family's dogs; trashy magazines (her description); hanging out with her godson; mystery novels and chick lit. She doesn't like: running or other exercise for its own sake; art, especially of the modern and contemporary varieties; crafty stuff; jigsaw puzzles.

To top it all off, she's far, far wealthier than I am, so I'd rather get something that demonstrates some imagination than something that just says "here's a random luxury item" -- because we're in different enough financial brackets that it would probably come across as "here's something kinda tacky." Plus, she's the kind of person who just buys whatever it is she wants -- so she already has all the latest DVDs, etc.

And for those of you who want to suggest donating to charity in her name/honor -- I've sponsored her in the Race for Life this weekend, but want to do something that's actually for *her*, since she's been doing so much to make my stay here fun.

Rewarding a Kind Neighbor

HopperFan — Sun, 31 May 2009 07:41:16 -0800

How to thank a kind neighbor who went out of her way to return a lost phone? I apparently dropped my phone while walking from my car to the house last night.* This morning, I went out to see if my phone was in the car, after looking all over the house, and found a note on the windshield - "I may have something of yours, please call." There was also a business card left inside my front door with the message "I have your phone, please call."

I texted my SO via the computer to call her, since he was out running errands - and she said that she did have it, she found it in the street this morning, and she'd call us when they got back from breakfast.

I'd like to offer her a reward, but I don't know how much to offer. It's a rather expensive phone (the new Blackberry Bold). I don't think she's the type to accept it, but I'd rather make the gesture anyway.

And then, if she doesn't accept it, what else could I do to thank her? I was thinking a large bouquet of flowers, or maybe a gift certificate to a pet store, since she has three dogs.

Any ideas?

* [Yes, I am an idiot.]

Appropriate way to thank professor/employer

ttyn — Tue, 05 May 2009 18:19:53 -0800

How to thank professor for recommendation letter that got me a scholarship? Slightly complicated. I got the scholarship letter today. I will be receiving the money in September.

I am currently working for the professor on campus, part-time. So, he's my boss.

I will be taking a class he is teaching next semester.

I want to do slightly better than an email/card, because getting the scholarship really means a lot to me. But I don't want him to think I am sucking up or trying too hard. Ideas?

creative thank-you for choir members?

LN — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 06:42:38 -0800

An imaginative thank you for my choir members? My choir (about which I asked a previous question) is about to do its final two concerts of the "season" this coming week. They have been a fantastic bunch, incredibly hard-working and committed, and we've had a ball together. Despite having planned on doing only two concerts this year, the numerous invitations we have received to perform have tripled that. The choir has stepped up to the plate admirably to take on these extra performances.

The choir launched this past September, so they are a very, very new ensemble. They sing primarily Celtic music, in both English and in four of the six Celtic languages. Some people joined in the middle of the year, and have picked up the music and been ready for performance in as little as two weeks. So, as you can see, I have thrown a lot at them, and they've done an amazing job.

I'd like to do something for them as a thank you, for all the aforementioned great work they've done this season. Hive Mind, help me think of a creative thank-you that my choir members will appreciate!

P.S.: I do plan on actally *telling* them all this, so thank you in advance for that suggestion, but I'm looking for things I can *do* for them.

Nana would be so disappointed in me.

Bardolph — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:29:43 -0800

Etiquette-filter: sending thank-you notes late (like, ridiculously, months-to-years late)? Specific questions within. So, I've got a chronic procrastination problem where thank-you notes are concerned. I think I'm a grateful person, but I hate to write and suck at putting feelings into words-- with the result that I tend to postpone necessary thank-yous until so much time has passed that it seems impossibly awkward and embarrassing to send any note at all. (To give some idea of the scale we're talking about here, a few of the items in my current "debit" column include notes:

to three close friends, including a bridesmaid, for wedding gifts 16 months ago (all the "form" notes were easy, but the heartfelt ones... not so much so)
to an old prof for good advice and mentoring 6 years ago (he gave me a decidedly cold shoulder at a conference recently, so I'm guessing this one's dead in the water)
to a good friend re: travel souvenirs given back in September
to my academic advisor for rush-mailing a rec in November

and so forth.) I think if I could think of things as fixable (as opposed to being Forever Spoilt By My Rudeness), then I might occasionally be able to sack up and write the belated note, instead of spiralling down into endless guilt and avoidance. But assuming I'm facing a thank-you note that's been put off months or years past when it should have been sent,

1. How profusely and grovellingly should I apologize for not writing sooner? Should the apology be made in the note itself, or in a separate communication, like a cover note?
2. Does the thank-you itself need to be extra-effusive and/or accompanied by some sort of gift, to "make it up" to the recipient?
3. Is there ever a time limit past which it simply *is* just too late to send a thank-you at all, particularly for relatively small items? Or is some acknowledgment always better than nothing, even years after the fact?

Some helpful suggestions here, but everything seems to be specifically wedding-related; I'm wondering how all this works when applied to thank-yous for professional assistance, or more casual gestures and gifts.

Thank you for being my personal Geek Squad.

variella — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 12:45:14 -0800

Appropriate gift for a volunteer computer techie with fantastic interpersonal skills? Over the past 3 years my sister's boyfriend has been very generous with his time, patience, tech support, and minor computer repairs (former job, now a side gig). He recently spent several hours helping me research and purchase a laptop, followed up with me to see how it went, and when he came over for dinner yesterday offered to 'set it up'.

Not only did he go through the basics with me, without being asked he did several other things he knew would be helpful while I made dinner for all of us (networked our home computers, linked to work accounts for research I do at home, and several other tasks I'm not quite certain how to explain ;) )

I have the two of them over for dinner fairly often, but I'd like to show my appreciation specifically to him- we aren't particularly close, but he's been dating my sister for 3 years (they're planning on getting engaged after June convocation) and I'm very fond of him. Patient, kind, even-tempered, enjoys doing things for other people- all of this was done with no influence from my sister. He has declined to be paid for his time, and tends to appreciate thoughtful gifts more than things with specific monetary value (like gift certificates).

I'm planning on also writing a note, but what would be a great "thanks for everything, particularly the past few days" gift (max $50) to show my appreciation?.

No thank you

Anonymous — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 13:52:57 -0800

Holiday gift giving dilemma: I have two half-sisters. One always thanks me for gifts. The other rarely does. How to remain on good terms with both, but not feel like a chump? I have two half-sisters (full sisters to each other), with whom I would like to remain on good terms. Let's call them Abigail and Tracy. We don't know one another very well-- they are much younger than me and our father divorced their mother when they were young, so we haven't spent that much time together. Our father is now deceased. We're all adults--I'm 42 and married, Tracy is 32 and married, and Abigail is 30.

I often send them each a modest gift for Christmas; for example, the last two years it has been a cookbook. I don't expect them to reciprocate, and in fact some years I don't give them a gift. Abigail always thanks me and sometimes sends a gift herself. Tracy virtually never thanks me. In earlier years I thought "Well, she's young, I was pretty bad about thanking people when I was younger," or "She just started a new job," or "She just got married." But, you know, she's 32, she's married, she's obviously responsible in other areas of her life and I am running out of excuses for her. I feel like a chump. Abigail says Tracy never acknowledges her gifts, either.

So, what to do?

- If I stop giving gifts to Tracy and only give them to Abigail, I am sure that Tracy will know and will feel slighted. I really don't want this to happen. I want things to be good between us, that's the whole point. Plus, our dad always did shitty things to play us off one another, and I just don't want to get near that issue.

- On the other hand, I don't want to keep giving gifts to both like this. I'm afraid that perhaps Tracy perceives me as the weird distant relative who wants a relationship when she doesn't want one. I have a cousin like that, and I don't want to be that person. But I'm not sure that's it--she does occasionally e-mail and send pictures. I really don't know how she feels. Anyway, it seems stupid to keep giving gifts to someone who is saying loud and clear "I don't care."

- And I don't want to stop giving gifts to both of them. Abigail seems kind of into it. We've started to talk a little more by e-mail, and sometimes by phone. This is another little point of connection, an excuse to communicate.

I know some people will say "why don't you just talk to them about it?" Well, it's not like that. It's hard to explain, but that really isn't an option. I feel that in our particular circumstance it would seem too overt, too confrontational--too formal. We don't have enough of a relationship to have that conversation.

Thanks for reading. What do you think I should do?

Help me show my wife just how much I love her.

stuboo — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:40:32 -0800

My wife and I have been together for 10 years and for the next few, she is giving me a gift that I fear I can never repay. I recently began medical school at the age of 32 and, as you might imagine, just getting to this point required several serious sacrifices on her part. I've just finished my first "block" and have a week of vacation before the next block begins. I'm at home all day while she's working and I want to spend my time showing her how much I love her, how much I appreciate her sacrifices, and how I realize that I couldn't do this without her. I'm doing the normal things like making nice dinners, cleaning the house, and tackling honey-do items. But what else can I do? I'm looking to the hive to help me be creative. Of course, it's her money I'd be spending, so spending lots of money isn't an option.

She doesn't have to work this Friday if that helps get your creative juices flowing.

Thanks in advance!

Epic Interview FAIL. Now what?

anastasiav — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 22:32:43 -0800

I massively screwed up a finalist interview today. I got really nervous and just ... well ... babbled. In the interview before this one, the hiring manager (we'll call her Liz) had basically told me that I was the leading candidate for the job (which I really wanted) but that she needed me to meet with the area heads before she could make an offer. She even offered some advice on the best approach to take with this group. When I got in the room I just became tongue tied and talked all around the first question without ever really answering it, and things went downhill from there. Now I need to write Liz a Thank You note, and every draft I write is taking on a sort of apologetic tone. ("I'm sure everyone could tell how nervous I was....") In such a situation, what's the right thing to say or do now?

Follow-up e-mail to fix a botched job interview?

fogster — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:10:18 -0800

I totally botched a job interview today. I really want the job, and am just starting to write a follow-up / thank-you e-mail. Help me do it well! I had an interview today. (The first at this company.) I've had many over the past few months, and have been doing a little better, and staying a little calmer, each time. But for some reason, today I really fell apart. It was definitely quite clear that I was a nervous wreck, and I think I gave bad answers all around, alternating (in hindsight) between being unreasonable vague/terse and giving rambling answers.

What hurts the most, though, is that I think I'm actually well-qualified for the position, that I'd fit in well with the existing team, and that it's a job I'd really enjoy doing. I've had a couple interviews where I really was barely qualified and come across fairly well, and I've done well in some interviews for jobs I didn't even want. But now that I'm qualified for a job and excited about it, I totally, absolutely blew it.

I want to send a follow-up e-mail thanking them for meeting with me. In the past I've used these e-mails as a good way to chip in a little tidbit I forgot to mention in the interview, but this one will have to be a major damage control operation. I do write much more clearly than I speak, so whatever I send will be articulate and relevant, unlike the interview.

But how, exactly, do you proceed in this case? Should I acknowledge that I was nervous and that I felt I didn't do a good job explaining some things? (I normally wouldn't acknowledge nervousness, but they definitely noticed, and it was definitely handicapping.) Should I write a fairly long e-mail outlining a few of the things I could have answered better, or should I keep it short? And if I keep it short, how do I explain that I didn't have a lobotomy before the interview, and that I'm actually pretty qualified? I think just sending a generic "Thanks for your time, I'm excited about this position" will just make them think I'm a polite idiot, so my follow-up e-mail really needs to make amends for my poor performance in the interview.

(I'm aware this question is maybe a little vague. Part of it's that I don't want to reveal too much on the off-chance that any of them read Ask MeFi and think, "Hey, that loser is on Ask MeFi?!," but the position I interviewed for isn't relevant. It doesn't involve client contact, so someone who can't communicate clearly might not be a show-stopper if I can get them to see I'm smart. And sorry for not giving more specifics on exactly what went wrong, but the short answer is, "Everything.")

Thanks for the interview!

pxe2000 — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:00:13 -0800

How soon after a job interview should I send a thank-you note? I have a few job interviews lined up in the coming weeks (including one for what could be a dream job). Because I am forgetful, and because at least one of them is a significant commute from my home, I'd like to send a thank-you note as soon as I leave the interview -- have the envelope stamped and ready to mail, etc. Would receiving a thank-you note within a few days of the interview appear overeager?

Additionally, a few of the positions are in corporate settings. Obviously I don't want to send any thank-you notes with colorful sayings on them (to wit: "People as nice as you are tend to be mentally incapacitated or on ecstacy, but you're just REALLY REALLY NICE" -- yes, this is a real card). Would a letterpress card with a cute animal or other insignia on the front be considered appropriate, or should I go with as plain a card as possible?

Thanks for the advice!

Anonymous — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:49:52 -0800

How do I say "Thanks for the advice" to some fellow MeFites? So a few months ago, I posted a question here asking for some advice. I followed the advice given my most of the posters (there were 20-ish posters in all) and things worked out for the better (yay!).

Now I want to say "thanks!". I was thinking about donating about $200 to a charity in honor of them and send them a personal MeFi mail message thanking them for their help.

This seems like an easy-enough thing to do, but I just wanted to see if any of you guys had some other interesting/creative ideas that I didn't think of...

Posting anonymously because I want it to be a surprise! But I promise to let you know who I am and what my question was once I make a decision what to do _{don't get too excited though - i'm no one special!}

thanks!
But before

How should I say 'thanks!'?

JRGould — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:26:36 -0800

How should I write thank-you letters for charitable donations? I'm currently working on a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society and have asked all of my family and friends to make donations on fund raising website (hosted by ACS). Beyond that I've also asked them to tell their family, friends, and co-workers about what I'm doing, in hopes that they'll contribute as well.

For my family and friends, it's pretty easy, I see that they've made a donation and I call them or write them an email saying something along the lines of "thank you so much, you're awesome and I love you!" But I'm kind of stumped now that friends and co-workers of friends, etc have started donating. I want to send them a personal note letting them know that I appreciate their contribution, but I don't want to cross any lines as far as formality, etc. since I don't know the person personally and especially in the case that it's a co-worker or boss.

Some suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

(also if you'd like to donate so I can practice on you, check out http://sonotcool.org/j to find out more and get a link to donate on the ACS's website... :-)

Baby, baby, how was I supposed to know

GardenGal — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:16:10 -0800

My first baby shower is tomorrow... what do I do? How do these things work? I've got three baby showers coming up (one for each workplace and one for friends) that other people asked to plan for me. My first is tomorrow and the organizer hasn't contacted me to give me any details other than the time and place. Here's the catch - I've never been to a baby shower before, and have no idea what actually goes on in them. I don't want to appear clueless in front of my coworkers!

I'm planning on bringing something like banana bread (it is supposed to be a potluck), but is there anything else I should be bringing? Or doing?

I am fairly reserved and actually really dislike getting gifts except from close friends (though I love giving them). It makes me feel very awkward, though I try to be gracious and enthusiastic. On top of that, I don't know many of these people's names (except for about 6 of them, we work in different buildings) and am afraid I won't be able to thank them properly, especially with everyone else looking on. Is it expected that you open your gifts at a baby shower, or is it okay if you set them aside to open in private? If you have to open them in front of people, what do you do if you get two of the same thing?

I will most likely be expected to give some sort of speech, at least at the work parties. I'm afraid I'll forget to say something really important. Is there anything I should absolutely not forget to say other than thanking the organizer and the attendees?

I'm sure there's stuff I've forgotten to ask simply because I don't know what to expect. Suggestions? Anecdotes? Please help me be gracious and confident!

And please also pardon the Britney Spears title reference... it won't happen again. -grin-

How can "congratulations" be a description /and/ a message?

cmiller — Sun, 04 May 2008 06:34:15 -0800

I'd never put only "question" here. I don't call my dog "Dog" or write out a check "for money Dollars". When I call 911 and request a firetruck, they don't call me back and speak the words "a firetruck" and hang up. Why is it normal to congratulate someone by saying "congratulations"? It seems small and superficial to hand someone a description of what we want to do instead of actually doing it. I have a similar problem with the word "thanks" and even the unwieldy phrase "I thank you". It's like we push ourselves into a different reference frame, out of the immediacy of the instant, like wrapping everything in scare-quotes.

While my question is sincere, I know I'm thinking about a social convention too much, as they rarely make sense. Most of what I want to explore is the linguistic effects, antecedents, et c. Do other languages than English have this (as I style it) problem?

How does one congratulate or thank, or similar -- without handing them a noun and asking them to interpret it?

A bottle of vodka?

mattoxic — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:04:27 -0800

Do you suppose a bottle of vodka is a sufficient thank you for someone who puts together a new computer for you, goes and buys it, loads xp, Office, and whole bunch of other software, then brings it into work with the promise that if I bring in my hd he'll transfer all files over whilst at work? A bottle of vodka?

Anything but a book.

roger ackroyd — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 09:43:15 -0800

What's a thoughtful way to thank two librarians who went through a lot of hassle for me? The librarians in question work at the high school I attended over a decade ago, and they dug through the media archives until they found a VHS recording of the play I directed my junior year. I want to give them big hugs, but they're 2000 miles away...and we've never met.

So what's a small, sharable gift that would brighten a librarian's day? Chocolate? A plant that thrives in fluorescent light?

Thanks for your help! Now what?

zippity — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:21:14 -0800

Writing a thank you letter to a car dealership. After recently having had an outstanding buying experience purchasing a new car, I wanted to thank the involved employees with a letter. I have a few extra questions/details about this:

There are two specific people I dealt with that I'd like to write separate letters to - the employee who sold me the car (business card states his title as "Fleet Manager") and the employee who handled my financing (business card states his title as "Finance Manager").
Is there a big boss I should also address a thank you letter to, to praise the employees I worked with? I don't know who exactly is the big boss, so should I just address it to the dealership itself or is there some specific title the boss would go by?
I was referred to the dealership by some friends who were able to get me some nice discounts. Should I mention these people in my letters too?
I do not mind writing multiple personalized letters so long as I have my bases covered and the people I worked with get some credit for their part as employees at the dealership.

Besides their professionalism, what other things should I thank them for in their letters? What kind of things does a car dealership owner (manager? Big Boss!) look for in thank you letters that would benefit the specific employees who helped me? Any other advice on thank you letters in general?

How can I best thank a whole hospital, but still reach individuals?

milarepa — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 08:03:16 -0800

I just spent ~2 weeks in the hospital. How do I thank the people who helped me? Like I said, I've been here a pretty long time (getting discharged today, yay!). I have been all over the hospital, the ER, ICU, OR, recovery room, and several different general care floors. I have always been treated with the utmost respect, dignity, and compassion. I would really like to show my appreciation to everyone. Of course I don't know everybody's name. Nor can I afford a meaningful gift to each person or even each floor. In addition to simple thank you cards addressed to the different divisions, what could I do? Would cards even be appreciated? Please advise.

What's In It For Me?

divabat — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 14:28:59 -0800

What could I offer my sponsors/donors in return for sponsorship? I'm fundraising for an educational venture, and I'm thinking of different things I can offer in return for sponsorship. As I am a sole young person who's trying to get to school, I don't really have anything like free art or film credits or anything of the sort. All I can think of:

* Eternal gratitude
* Writeups on my blogs
* Thank-you events
* Regular updates
* Short-term consulting (since my are of study would be entrepreneurship and business design)

What else could I offer? I write well and like to do things to help people. I'm a novice at crafts/arts (though they aren't directly relevant to my pursuit). Whenever I ask my dad what people would like in return for their investments, he always says "Money" - which is what I don't have (otherwise I won't be asking this question!).

I've heard of people who got people to buy "shares" in their venture. Crowdfunding sounds like a great idea; however, I don't know how it'd work if you don't have a product to fund. What have other people offered in return for sponsorship/investments? Crazy is good but realistic is best.